UPDATE: The end is near—Elon Musk officially buys Twitter

It might be time to return to Tumblr if the deal is finalized

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UPDATE: The end is near—Elon Musk officially buys Twitter
The world’s crappiest Bond villain Photo: Suzanne Cordeiro

UPDATE, 2:10 p.m. CT: Bloomberg reports that Elon Musk has officially bought Twitter. Musk also tweeted that he wants his worst critics to remain on Twitter “because that’s what free speech means.” That’s coming from the same guy who threatened Tesla union organizers, so we’ll have to see if he actually allows anyone to speak ill about him and his treatment of workers.


Elon Musk, not content with being one of Twitter’s richest and loudest trolls, decided to fully enter his cartoon villain era by announcing earlier this month that he made an offer of $41 billion in exchange for receiving an 100% stake in the site.

This is the same guy who once attempted to buy The Onion (with zero interest in The A.V. Club, thankfully) but instead ended up making his own failed satire site, Thud. The idea of Musk buying Twitter seemed horrifying, sure, but not realistic. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the past five years is that your most horrifying nightmares can come true. Start making plans to return to Tumblr, because Twitter is reportedly finalizing its deal to be sold to Musk.

The New York Times reports that Twitter’s board was in negotiations with Musk early Monday morning, following a Twitter board meeting that took place on Sunday, where the bored billionaire’s offer was discussed. According to anonymous employees, “obtaining commitments for the financing was a turning point for how the board viewed Mr. Musk’s bid of $54.20 a share, enabling the company’s 11 board members to seriously consider his offer.”

The news was understandably met with hundreds of tweets from users planning their escape plan from Twitter if that were to happen, threatening to start ranking Radiohead albums on Pinterest again, going back to Myspace, and making fan pages on Tumblr. But there’s still the slim chance that this deal will fall through, as the sources pointed out to The Times.

Musk had previously said he invested in Twitter because he believed “in its potential to be the platform for free speech around the globe” but after investing in the company, he realized it “will neither thrive nor serve this societal imperative in its current form.” Ironically, if he buys Twitter, it’s likely that nobody besides his loyal followers will want to stay on the platform, stopping the site from thriving.

Oh well, the shitposting was fun while it lasted.

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