Wanna guess where a Nazi slapped cops with his colostomy bag? (It was at Kid Rock's steakhouse)
Music Features Colostomy
Despite an enduring legacy of grotesque Presidential endorsements, Waffle House parking lot brawls, half-baked Senate aspirations, and legal battles with literal circuses, we still won’t rush to judge those who frequent Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk & Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse—a five-story, four stage, six bar Nashville Hellmouth. We were as surprised to learn about the eatery as you probably are.
And yet.
According to an official police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, a drunken man sporting Nazi face tattoos was arrested earlier this month outside Kid Rock’s establishment after he pulled a colostomy bag from his pants and smacked two metro police officers in the face with his own shit.
Per the police filing, “the defendant was outside drunk holding a bottle of beer [and] blocking the emergency exit door” at Kid Rock’s steakhouse while refusing a bouncer’s demands to leave the premises. Upon being approached by a couple cops, the man with ideological feces staining his body—in this case “1488" on his forehead and a Confederate flag on the back of his head—whipped out his literal storage container for bodily toxins and started swinging.
The drunken poop-fascist was booked on charges of disorderly conduct, public intoxication, and two counts of assaulting a police officer, and is currently being held at the Davidson County jail in lieu of a $4000 bond. The alcohol-fueled altercation has not appeared to change the drink menu at Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk & Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse, which still includes cocktails like the Cowboy (Sweet Tea Vodka, Coconut Rum, Vodka, Peach, Lemonade, Sour, Sprite), the Sweet Southern Sugar (Peach Vodka, Sprite, OJ), and the Twisted Brown Trucker (Fireball & Rumchata).
…Fireball and goddamn Rumchata.
[via BoingBoing]
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71 Comments
goddamn Rumchata livens up a nice cup of coffee quite well.
I’m going to guess that this fiend also likes his steaks well done
With kkketchup!
If I were an amoral entrepreneur, I’d absolutely create and market KKKetchup, and make it thicker than your average ketchup.“KKKetchup! Our ketchup don’t run!”
And the off-brand, KKCatsup. For the real ‘mericans who lost their jerbs to the liberal commie Jew Mexicans and can’t afford the good stuff.
CCCatsuP
Sir, the target market for KKCatsup cares not for consistency in their spelling, their ideology, nor their condimentsIn other words, this shit’s runny as fuck, we just pretend like it isn’t
But can you make ketchup white?
Healthy doses of bleach oughta do it
Usually, a colostomy (major surgery) isn’t a green light to continue eating steaks.
Sounds like SOMEONE hates FREEDOM.
(Exhales cigarette smoke from tracheotomy, slams Twisted Brown Trucker.)
Commie.
It doesn’t say anything about him wanting to eat there. Maybe he was trying to warn others not to make his mistake, like Yul Brynner
Who’d Yul Brynner throw shit at?
DONT CHOO TELL ME WUT TA EAT LIBRUL THIS BLOOD IN MY CATHETER IS FREEDOM JUICE
Heavy drinking is also not recommended.
or drinking?
And a side of batter dipped fries. Seriously who is responsible for these things? They are inedible.
This is why fascism will never take over America. Even people who are dedicated enough to permanently scar their bodies or put on uniforms for the cause just can’t help fighting one another.
This is why fascism will never take over America. Even people who are dedicated enough to permanently scar their bodies or put on uniforms for the cause just can’t help BEING LITERALLY FULL OF SHIT BAGS.
Florida Man clearly needs to up his game if he’s gonna top that.
So… typical Kid Rock’s Steakhouse patron? Why didn’t they shoot him, didn’t they fear for their lives?
Yeah, I thought somebody reaching into their pants immediately required deadly force.
If ever a shooting were justified…I mean, I may not believe that the cops thought it was a gun, but I would give them the benefit of the doubt in this case.
Dude’s got Confederate tattoos on his head.
He sure as shit (ha) wasn’t reaching for a “thank you” card.
I have a theory …
Excellent point, definitely shows the double standard, I mean he seems very shootable even by Nazi standards. Now that I think about it, I would be 0% surprised if that’s how he ended up with a colostomy bag to begin with.
It’s called ‘Professional courtesy’… duh.
Betcha $100 “The Colostomy Bag” (Jägermeister, Evan Williams, Mountain Dew, half-eaten GooGoo Cluster) will be on the menu by July 1.
I think I speak for us all, or maybe just some of us, or then again maybe just the proprietor of the restaurant when I say Bawitdaba de dang de dang dookie dookie.
…shake the cowboy, said up chuck the cowboy
Hmm
You know, this never would have happened at Sufjan Stevens’ Modestly Priced Indie-Folk Club & Kombucha Pop-Up.
This is so last week. Here in Nashville, we’ve already moved on to the man who was arrested two blocks away for getting coked up and firing his Glock into the air.
https://www.wsmv.com/news/metro-pd-man-arrested-after-firing-shots-into-the-air-on-broadway/article_29639e3c-b17c-11eb-8ccd-f7b230a599a6.html
Cops beat the shit out of black people. White people throw the shit onto cops.
Brawl-wit-da-bag
Fuck you have a star.
I slap you with star laced feces.
cocktails like the Cowboy (Sweet Tea Vodka, Coconut Rum, Vodka, Peach, Lemonade, Sour, Sprite), the Sweet Southern Sugar (Peach Vodka, Sprite, OJ), and the Twisted Brown Trucker (Fireball & Rumchata)Huh. Somehow it was those sample cocktail recipes, and not the image of a Nazi swinging a bag of literal shit, that made me throw up in my mouth a bit.
Same.
Sweet Southern Sugar tastes ALMOST as good coming up as it did going down.
How you haven’t scored more stars for that little corker, I don’t know.
You really need that stomach acid to cut through all the sugar.
I really, really, really love when a drink had a hyper-masculine name, and the ingredients are mostly sugar. “The Cowboy” is for the discerning, grown ass manly man who wants his booze to taste like a Slurpee. It’s like the person in college bragging about how many amaretto sours they could pound.
Not to get too toxically masculine, but yeah, the Cowboy sounds like something my mum would sip on a warm Sunday afternoon.
Progress always comes at some cost, and the cost of turning away from toxic masculinity is that we can’t just come out an call them “bitch drinks.” No offense to your mother. Or offence to your mum, as the case may be.
as she relaxes out on the lanai and a servant fans her to keep ‘the vapors’ away.
Those dudes ALWAYS have a sweet tooth. It comes from adolescence spent shouting at meemaw, followed directly by attending Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk and Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse.
One of the prouder drinking moments I’ve ever had was in college when some friends and I rolled into a bar in a one-stoplight town. Swear it was one of those record-scratch suddenly-silent moments when the dozen or so locals in there saw us come in. We blended well, and that was that, but they were somehow impressed as shit when I went up to the bar and ordered straight bourbon and tossed it back without any issues. Aren’t hardcore drinkers in boondock bars supposed to drink actual liquor?
Say what one will about Fireball and the person who drinks it exclusively, but it mixes really, really well with Rumchata.
Fool me once….
Not sure why this incident would cause the restaurant to change their drink menu. I don’t think anyone could point to a single recipe and say ‘this one is what makes Nazis throw poop’. But they do not sound good.Unlike Devil Without a Cause, which is one of my desert island records!
Are they sure the bag actually wasn’t just filled with Kid Rock CDs?
Both will leave you with an ear full of shit.
The Aristocrats
Some jokes just write themselves.
IF COPS ARE NAZIS AND THE GUY WHO SLAPPED THEM IS A NAZI, WHY ARE WE WHINING ABOUT NAZI ON NAZI CRIME? FUCKEM BOTH
Flinging poo to own the libs
Fake poos!!!
Twisted Brown Chucker, more like….
The ultimate disrespect or a monkey flinging poo?
“Steakhouse” is my new euphemism for the gut/groin as a target of violence. (As in “Ooh! Right in the steakhouse!”)
“Wow! Those cops tased him right in the steakhouse!” This checks out nicely!
Thank you, thank you…
“THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT SHUT DOWN MY STEAKHOUSE” – checks out as a euphemism for gastro/VD.
The face tattoos really demonstrates commitment.
I guess I’m required to state I do not condone or agree with the sentiment.
Shoot him, see the tattoos, shoot him a couple more times just in case. Call the meatwagon and hit the showers. Case closed.
Wair, “Twisted Brown Trucker” is the one that DOESN’T have sweat tea (or twisted tea for that matter)? That’s just stupid.
Now I literally can “smell those pigs from a mile away”. Cos’ the shit… that’s like, all over ‘em.
There have to be some better, independently owned barbecue/steak-houses in Nashville, without the relentless MAGA tourism.
The Master Race, everybody. *slow clap*