What does your starter Pokémon say about you?

As Nintendo releases Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet—the latest installment in the most profitable media franchise on the planet—this week, it presents the gamers of the world with a familiar, but harrowing choice: Which starter Pokémon will they take? Which of the three initial monsters that inevitably get foisted off on the games’ kid heroes by some random adult weirdo with a dubious Ph.D. will you bring along as your first partner?

And while that current decision is focused on the latest new kids Sprigatito, Quaxly, and Fuecoco, it’s a conundrum that’s been facing would-be Pokémon masters for decades at this point. When presented with three adorable monsters (inevitably split between Fire, Water, and Grass types), which do you choose? More importantly: Why do you choose it? What does your choice of Pokémon starter say about you—not the in-game trainer you’ll be slapping ugly T-shirt and hat combos on for the next 60 hours, but you, the person holding that Game Boy or Switch?

Luckily, the Pokéxperts here at The A.V. Club—well-adjusted personalities all, with maxed-out emotional effort values—are here to answer those questions. We’ve picked out 12 starters—a veritable zodiac—from across 26 years of Pokémon history (including all three of the new ones from Scarlet and Violet) in order to determine what they say about player personality types. And, as with any such astrological effort, we’re happy to say that the end results arrive with the utmost precision, scientific rigor, and sincerity imaginable.

Now, let’s meet the Pokémon. And, more importantly:

Ourselves.

For the theater kid who needs the whole spotlight

As Nintendo releases and —the latest installment in the most profitable media franchise on the planet—this week, it presents the gamers of the world with a familiar, but harrowing choice: Which starter will they take? Which of the three initial monsters that inevitably get foisted off on the games’ kid heroes by some random adult weirdo with a dubious Ph.D. will you bring along as your first partner?And while that current decision is focused on the latest new kids Sprigatito, Quaxly, and Fuecoco, it’s a conundrum that’s been facing would-be Pokémon masters for decades at this point. When presented with three adorable monsters (inevitably split between Fire, Water, and Grass types), which do you choose? More importantly: Why do you choose it? What does your choice of Pokémon starter say about you—not the in-game trainer you’ll be slapping ugly T-shirt and hat combos on for the next 60 hours, but you, the person holding that Game Boy or Switch?Luckily, the Pokéxperts here at The A.V. Club—well-adjusted personalities all, with maxed-out emotional effort values—are here to answer those questions. We’ve picked out 12 starters—a veritable zodiac—from across 26 years of Pokémon history (including all three of the new ones from Scarlet and Violet) in order to determine what they say about player personality types. And, as with any such astrological effort, we’re happy to say that the end results arrive with the utmost precision, scientific rigor, and sincerity imaginable.Now, let’s meet the Pokémon. And, more importantly: Ourselves.