Women Talking’s Sarah Polley talking to Disney about “live-action” Bambi
Sarah Polley won an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for Women Talking
Aux News Bambi
Following what is, seemingly, the only path directors have for turning filmmaking into a career, Oscar-winner Sarah Polley is reportedly in talks with Disney about directing yet another “live-action” remake. Hoping to depress the hell out of kids who live in ignorance that their parents and everyone they know will one day perish from this earth, Polley is in discussions for a Bambi remake, reports Deadline.
Like the unrelenting thrust of nature pushing Bambi into adolescence as his loved ones wither and die, this cycle of Disney remakes continues unperturbed by the somewhat disappointing box office of the remake in theaters, The Little Mermaid—it’s doing fine, just not Lion King money. With the studio’s stockpile of animated classics sitting in the Disney Vault, not being remade, we can finally see what it looks like when a pack of hunters, one of which is presumably played by James Corden or Lin Manuel Miranda, shoots and kills a “photorealistic” deer for the benefit of Bambi’s growth. Though Deadline also reported that sources say Kacey Musgraves will provide music for the movie, so maybe that’ll soften the blow to the intended audience for this thing, children.
But before we hit the streets and demand that Sarah Polley be allowed to make a movie about anything that doesn’t require CGI characters sucking the magic from Bambi, we feel compelled to report that these are still early talks. The remake first landed on our desks way back in January of 2020 when, Jesus, anything felt possible, and we still didn’t want a Bambi remake. And as we reported last time, in classic Disney fashion, it should be noted that talks started up again after the Disney film’s source material, the Austrian novel Bambi, A Life In The Woods, entered the U.S. public domain on January 1, 2022. With the copyright expired, the door also opens for Bambi horror film á la Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey, which—surprise—is also in the works. Is it so hard to leave this poor deer alone?
29 Comments
So Disney is Mephistopheles incarnate at this point, poophing into existence in front of gullible directors with contract, quill and pin in hand, ready to damn any one of them who is tempted by the notion of “Well, just one of these things to pay for the kids’ college tuition and then I can go back to making the kind of small personal films I really want to make…”“BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!”
Absolutely unsettling spelling of “poofing” on your part.
Chloe Zhao went from winning Best Picture/Director with Nomadland to the disappointing Eternals (I haven’t seen it, just what I’ve heard) and is now supposed to be making “Hamnet” with recent nominees Jessie Buckley & Paul Mescal, so it does seem possible for a director to follow Elizabeth Olsen’s advice to “just give them one”. That’s MCU rather than Disney live-action remakes, but David Lowery was able to make films like A Ghost Story & The Green Knight in between his live-action remakes of Pete’s Dragon & Peter Pan (I hope there are no more Pete movies for him to waste time remaking).
Hamnet*giggles*
Women Talking was never shown in my city, for such obvious reasons. This shit would be standing room only.Especially of the little guy is voiced by someone like Timothee.
“for such obvious reasons”
Do you live in Broville?
Yes.
What does “for such obvious reasons” mean?
“Live action”
As noted on an earlier article, when the whole thing is just CGI replacing hand-drawn, I prefer to call it “re-animated.”
As in “re-animated corpses”.
the shoe fits
I very much admire and respect her artistic integrity. I hope she says no.
I don’t mind here following the “one for me, one for them” approach. Her films are great, but she deserves a decent paycheck every now and then.
Yeah, like David Lowery. He’s now made two films for Disney (Pete’s Dragon and some Peter Pan thing for Disney+), and still gets to go off and make cool, weird stuff like A Ghost Story and The Green Knight.
Unless there’s a eight-figure paycheck involved.
And the all-consuming behemoth devours another.
No one anywhere wants this.
Watch the Internet explode when she casts a gazelle as Bambi.
It would be wild if she somehow subtly returned it to Salter’s prescient original metaphoric tale against European antisemitism and xenophobia.
And then followed it up with a full X-rated version of Josephine Mutzenbacher, or The Story of a Viennese Whore, as Told by Herself.
Well this seems like a terrible idea, but The Jungle Book was the only good one of their remakes so far.
Eh. If she takes the job I hope she makes enough off of it to keep making the films she wants to.
Still waiting on the live action woke version of Song of the South
In this new version Bambi’s mother lives.
Setting up the prequil.
Does this mean we can look forward to the announcement of a live action version of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad directed by David Cronenberg? Atom Egoyan’s Meet the Robinsons?
Cronenberg would do Sleepy Hollow, not Mr. Toad. Just think of what he could come up with for a guy with a pumpkin for a head.
I wanna see a photorealistic hippo dancing in a tutu. Wait, no I don’t. Forget I said anything.
Fucking deer. They’re just tall rodents. Cull the fucking herd. I hope she sets the example with Bambi.