Donald Trump, 45th president of the United States, is almost about to leave office. His legacy will mostly be defined by an embrace and encouragement of everything horrible about America—and the accomplishment of nabbing the country’s current impeachment high score title—but, he’s also left us with years of deeply stupid PR disasters worth remembering alongside the more serious issues.
Jules Suzdaltsev took to Twitter to create a digital scrapbook of these moments, cataloging the many scandals, fuck-ups, and absurdities that seem to cling to Trump just like a piece of toilet paper stuck to a shoe.
The thread starts with Trump looking right at the sun during an eclipse and goes on to include other all-timers, like his “lawnmower boy”, truck driving, and orb-touching photo ops.
Suzdaltsev also includes plenty of other memories with more immediately unpleasant associations. He lists Trump’s racist COVID notes and bean company advertisements, his game show-style distribution of disaster relief supplies in Puerto Rico, and that time he necked on the American flag to get his base all horned up about GOP-brand patriotism.
The best memories, though, are the most politically inert, just generally buffoonish ones. It’s been a while since we thought about Trump asking a little kid whether he still believes in Santa (to be fair, who among us really “gives a fuck about Christmas stuff?” ), his fast food banquet, or his demonstrations of proper umbrella etiquette and, then as now, they’re hilarious.
It’s too bad the same can’t be said for everything else that’s happened over the last few years. But, hey, we’re talking about the current political landscape here—a realm where we must seriously consider questions like whether or not an insurrectionist tasered himself in the balls and died—and they can’t be funny all the time.
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118 Comments
Oh, yeah, the Goya thing. How the hell did he get away with that? Or everything else, for that matter?
Congress is a bag of spineless sycophants that only saw ten people break with him a week after they were hiding under desks from his most rabid followers?
Well, yeah, of course…but OTHER than that?
I’ve never seen so many people grovel and strut at the same time.
That album really marked the decline of U2 as a creative force.
And then liberals boycotted Goya because they don’t think the office of the POTUS should be peddling for a company, and in response conservatives bought up a ton of Goya products to own the libs. Eating shitty food to own the libs.
Under the Constitution, Republican Presidents have virtually unlimited power to fuck things up.Meanwhile, Obama barely got away with his skin intact after wearing a tan suit once.
Let’s not forget the Dijon Mustard
I want so very badly for Obama to bring back the tan suit specifically for Biden’s Inauguration.
So…scandals, huh?
Remember the biggest scandals during the Obama years, the tan suit and Dijon mustard on a burger?Also…BENGHAZI!!!
Benghazi deaths: 4Capitol Insurrection deaths: 5Trumps keeps WINNING!
I’m so tired of all the winning…
Plus around 385K COVID deaths – so much winning.
Winning BIGLY!
I seem to remember a Republican congressman saying that the tan suit jeopardized our national security. And he wasn’t joking.
Obama bowed to the Saudis but Trump helped them with their ORB project so Trump is better, CHICKMAT LIBS!
Obama bowed to the Saudis That bastard! Trump would never do something like—Oh.
That’s what I was originally gonna go with but the orb thing is friggen hilarious so I ended up going in that direction.
One of the repairmen in the building where I live went ballistic because Obama bowed when greeting people in Japan. I mean, he was beside himself.
You can repair all sorts of stuff with ballistics.
I wonder how he felt when Donnie and Kim Jong-un “fell in love”
But remember how much Obama golfed!!!
Hey, there was also the time that Obama allowed a soldier to hold an umbrella over him in the rain, which was apparently DISRESPECTFUL TO OUR BRAVE TROOPS or some disingenuous bullshit.
I know this probably belongs on The Takeout, but I tried dijon mustard on a burger — it was fine.I’d rather have spicy mustard, or mayo, or a little hotsauce. But no complaints here.
Also, I was admittedly not wearing a tan suit. I haven’t a prayer of rocking a suit as well as President Obama.
There was a report, a credible one, that they were seriously considering having him unbutton his shirt to reveal a superman shirt/suit after he got off the helicopter returning from the hospital. I actually would have included getting on a helicopter and getting millions of dollars worth of free healthcare including experimental treatments, and making sure that his cronies like Rudy got the same when they got Covid, when he was denying healthcare, helping Covid kill people, and denying financial Covid relief to everybody as a separate scandal, but maybe that’s a big scandal not a small one.Not to mention saying he would never take a day off as POTUS then spending how many days playing golf at what cost to taxpayers? And the sheer amount of money he has had the secret service and other organizations pay back to him by making them stay at his hotels.
I’m amazed the golf thing didn’t get more play than it did but when you’re getting hit in the face daily with a fire hose of more serious bullshit, the fact that he spent months of his presidency golfing tends to fall by the wayside.
It’s weird to me that Trump likes golf that much. Like, he just can’t get enough of golfing. What part of it does he enjoy? Does he enjoy being outdoors? Is it being surrounded by manicured greenery? It surely can’t be the physical exertion.Also, props for the Firesign username.
you can read many accounts of how he cheats…I think it’s the only thing he can win at and he doesn’t consider that he cheats…the GOP was so envious of Obama being able to play basketball, remember what a big deal they used to make out of W “clearing brush” and then W took a face-r on a bike and had that stupid band-aid…and when Trump played tennis that one time we have that picture for the ages where he looks like the biggest fatass who ever fatted. It also probably has a lot to do with distance from potential indoor recording devices.
“the biggest fatass who ever fatted” Gold.
ISTR some media types were super worked up about the fact that Obama had portable basketball hoops put up on the tennis courts so he could play basketball, and as you said probably more so because he was still pretty young and athletic – certainly more so than GWB, McCain, and Romney.
THE TAN SUITThey’re going right back to that bullshit in a few days. It will be illegal nanny scandals and they’ll all forget they put us on the brink of a dictatorship. Shit, they’ll start complaining about Biden spending too much time bike riding, or asking if him tipping an ice cream guy an extra buck is immoral corrupting of the taxpaying citizenry. I think the phrase is “back on their bullshit”
You forgot dijon mustard on a burger, because that’s too fancy and proves Obama was a lefty elitist who was just gonna keep eliting!
I always found it odd that people would criticize Obama for being elite, then go and vote for Romney, a man who was born into a wealthy, politically connected family.
Or for Trump, a man who was born into a wealthy politically connected family, and who despises “low class” people like his own followers.
To what extent was it just an excuse to have his entourage stay at his resort?
Yeah, I think it was just another grift to enrich himself off the presidency.
It’d be informative to find out how often he played golf before he was president, and if doing so was a grift then. Like, if he rarely played golf before his term, and then started playing a ton once he was president, sure, it could be that he realized he could charge the government for the cost of his staff and security staying at his resorts. But if he played golf a lot before, then it’s less likely… unless his playing golf before was also somehow a way to grift someone, which is possible.
thanks for catching the Firesign name, I put more thought into that than I probably should have. :-)but you’re right I don’t get the golf thing either (at least for him)…the few times I have golfed I enjoyed it, but not enough to do it more either (it’s not cheap for starters, and I hear getting tee times is tough, and I suck…). If I had to guess he likes it because he probably always “wins” and gets his ass kissed incessantly while “winning” so I’d probably like that too.
Probably not a lot of Firesign fans left, but I grew up listening to their albums a ton, partly because my parents were good friends with the four of them. Phil Proctor came to my wedding!
well you are a damn lucky person to have a Firesign alum at your wedding. I would have loved to have met any of them. Their stuff is genius, I still listen to it after ~30 years and hear things I never heard before.
Ditto here. I’ve been trying to get my kids into it, but no luck so far 😉
LOL that reminds me–a few years ago my family and I were having some random conversation and for no reason that I can remember I decided to drop the phrase “I never got into bear baiting, I could never get my socks off”, and the shocked silence afterwards made me LOL so loudly that my family still talks about it–however, not enough to get them into Firesign either.
Hah, that’s great. I still drop these into conversation on a regular basis (most of them are from Nick Danger):
“I wonder where Ruth is” (any time someone uses the word “ruthless”)
“Only half a key. I had to split it with the sound effects man” (any time someone asks if I have a key)
“Why, she’s no fun, she fell right over”“And stop tracking mud across my nice clean kitchen floooooor”“Antelope Freeway, 1/4 mile… Antelope Freeway, 1/8 mile… (etc)” (we live in L.A. so we do drive on or near the Antelope Freeway every so often)(any time a courtroom scene starts in a TV show or movie) “All rise for the courtroom scene”
LOL I use the “she’s no fun she fell right over” line constantly, because it just confuses the heck out of my kids (or whoever is around, to be honest). And during one family dinner I told my kid not to use her hands but to use her “entrenching tools instead” from Porgie Tirebiter. Non sequiturs are the absolute best, especially when used to elicit “WTF???” looks from your kids.
(…. also – NO ONE seems to have heard of Duck’s Breath Mystery Theatre…..)
For the longest time, the signature line on my work email said that the previous message had been brought to you by Loostner’s Castor Oil Flakes.
Got away with that one for like three years.
I’m the same way – I listen to All Hail Marx and Lenin, of Don’t Crush That Dwarf, and am amazing to hear things that I swear were not there the first…. you know, hundred times I listened..
It’s a sport that you can play that doesn’t require alot of energy and can play for the rest of your life. Also it’s the sport of rich white dudes.
I think it’s just that wheeling and dealing on the golf links is a stereotypical yuppie-businessman thing to do, and Trump has invested a lot in his image as a successful yuppie-businessman, so he lives up the image.
It’s easy to cheat and lie at golf.There’s your explanation.
“What part of it does he enjoy?”Billing the US Treasury
Yeah, I am fine with the President doing whatever he wants with his free time if he doesn’t want to see his wife and kids, but he made such a big deal about it for Obama…and then topped his number by so much. It says Trump golfed roughly 308 times in the last four years. That is more than my retired relatives. (apparently Obama golfed 333 times in eight years)
exactly. I wouldn’t begrudge anyone with such a stressful job the time to relax but if before you even get elected you’re saying you WON’T be golfing, while mocking the guy before you for golfing, I am going to call you on your bullshit.
An interesting part, that makes it clear Donnie is a grifter, is Obama mostly golfed on military and public courses. Donnie has exclusively golfed at private clubs, most belonging to himself. Who wouldn’t skip work to slack off when you’re getting paid for it?
Hasn’t he spent about a full year golfing now? That’s 1/4 of his entire presidency on the fucking golf course. And his fans STILL try to dunk on Obama for golfing, for fuck’s sake. I guess they also go on about…which was it? Swine flu? That killed a couple hundred over the course of a year, trying to justify Trumps response to COVID, which has now killed almost 400,000 people. They are stupid, lying hypocrites is what I am saying.
hey you’re preaching to the choir. I also find it laughable that the whataboutism they constantly (and incorrectly) employ is allegedly an old KGB trick, but they’re so far gone it’s pointless. The reflexive and hilariously false defenses of Dipshit just get old and annoying after a while, but hey cultists gonna cult.
I think it’s pretty classic propaganda. It’s also what toddlers do, which is why it is so laughable. Especially when you are whatabouting to things WAY less egregious that what you are trying to deflect away from. “You are accused of committing a genocide!” “But what about when that guy stole a car???”
How come when I went through periods of what I considered work emergencies I wold work through the entire weekend?
I reckon he probably saved taxpayer dollars when he didn’t “work”. Golf. The Philanthropists’ Game.https://www.amazon.com.au/Commander-Cheat-Explains-brilliant-bestseller-ebook/dp/B07LGFM8JP
Did he really do anything to help Rudy when he was sick or get him better care? That would surprise me.
I heard Rudy got the regeneron antibody treatment and other stuff but not confirmed, he didn’t get a private helicopter ride there to the best of my knowledge
they were seriously considering having him unbutton his shirt to reveal a superman shirt/suit how did they NOT get him one of those airbrushed “bodybuilder” t-shirts you see at the beach? I’m sure they make XXXL size. It would have fit SO well with his cultists who fly those idiotic but hilarious flags showing his head on Rambo’s body…they absolutely would have believed that was real.
I mean…he is such a fatass and they put his head on Rambo’s body. It’s like if I asked a Russian if Putin has a full head of hair, does Trump have a six pack?
one of the good (?) things Trump did over the last 4 years was to throw back the curtain on just how stupid and gullible and deludable the average American is, and this is a perfect example of that. (and yes I already suspected how stupid the average person was before that, but to see how happily the average person is to engage in this type of cult behavior, how joyfully they will ignore reality and accept a clearly false alternate reality, is worse than I ever suspected.)
Except that people still don’t believe it. The people who blamed Obama for not selling Obamacare using the right magic words and who somehow blamed him for not being able to disperse birtherism are STILL clinging to this idea that there is some decent rational explanation for this behavior. I say “75% (or whatever) of the GOP believes the lie the election was stolen” and what I hear back is (a) they don’t REALLY believe that (b) that’s a stand-in for some legitimate grievance (c) at least the other 25% don’t. I mean despite that Donnie Junior puts the words into the democrats’ mouths because they don’t want to get stuck in a “deplorable” moment, he’s right, I’m every day rocked and mortified by how just plain bad these people are.
I had legitimately forgotten about many of these.
The koi pond one is news to me (or maybe I had just forgotten about it) but just from the picture I think I can guess the dialogue just before the shot:someone: “take a pinch of the fish food in your fingers and gently waft it towards the water.”Trump: “Ya mean like this?”
I now want to see an adaptation of “Of Mice and Men” with Lennie as a Trump figure.
And whoever that is next to Trump in the picture (Shinzo Abe, I think? Who deserves an award for the restraint in not shoving Trump over the railing) as George, in the climactic scene.
With an endless parade of Georges who keep quitting in frustration?
PRECISELY!
Instead of a mouse he keeps punching himself in the nuts.
The last 80% of the book would be a rambling monologue about how she’s not really dead.
“Tell me about the antifa, George…”
“Crooked Hilary could NEVER feed the fish like I do. I provided them with a TREMENDOUS amount of food and snacks. Tremendous. Believe me.”
It has all the finesse of a drunk uncle not giving a fuck about a traditional ceremony for a culture he doesn’t give a fuck about. “Why are we at this “temple” for this shit? Why do I need to wear this shirt? What the hell is that guy saying? When is dinner and is their gonna be something “normal” to eat there?”This may be me projecting a bit on my mixed heritage marriage and the fun times it has brought me with my idiot family
When there are three a week, it’s hard to keep track.
We’ll always have Sharpiegate.
Oh, Christ, I’d almost forgotten.
I didn’t hear that he stopped doing the grab n’ yank handshake. When did that happen?
I think he just kind of stopped doing it. If there was a precise moment, it was after either Trudeau or Macron crushed his hand, can’t remember which. I think Trudeau fucked him up first and he stopped for a while, and then he tried it again with Macron and Macron was like “Non”.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/may/28/the-trump-handshake-how-world-leaders-are-fighting-backThe original Trump scandal that banded the world against us.
What about the toilet paper stuck to his shoe while getting on AF1?
the “power handshake” picture shows another one of his “things”–his tendency to lean forward awkwardly, ostensibly because of too-high platforms pushing him off balance. (but when you think about that prodigious gut of his, imagine how strong his lower back muscles must be to keep him from toppling forward all the time?)
Odd gates and stances can also be signs of dementia. We general associate it with memory loss and erratic behavior but cognitive decline also manifests physical as your brain starts to forget how your body moves. We don’t consider standing and walking as learned abilities but they are.
But Ivanka and Don Jr and Eric all stand in the same almost-human-but-not-quite way, so I don’t think it’s dementia (there are plenty of other signs of that too, though). In the case of the menfolk, I think it’s just them trying to look taller/bigger, while covering up their guts. Ivanka…is just a weird fucking person married to a haunted porcelain doll.
also good points–his hesitation while walking down angled walkways; his difficulty with drinking from glasses; and perhaps even his inability to apply foundation without leaving a visible line.
“signs of dementia”Only if you’re making the case that dementia had set in by the 80’s at the latest.
Trump talking about how all the doctors and scientists at the CDC are so amazed by his scientific knowledge.“Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for President.”Yeah, maybe you should have.
Don’t forget the unmasked visit to a facility that manufactured Covid test swabs. The entire day’s output had to be discarded because it was exposed to the Orange Menace’s exhalations.
His orange make-up. His clothes. My god, that ill-fitting tux he wore at Buckingham palace. Touching the Queen. Walking in front of the Queen. (Did no-one explain protocol to him?)The incredible laughingstock he’s made of us.
I can guarantee you that yes, someone explained protocol to him.Just as Pence and others reportedly explained to him dozens of times that the VP can’t just throw out the election results during the counting ceremony. The man still thinks China pays the tariffs he put in place. He just does not hear things that don’t fit into his conception of the world.
Yes. He’s not hard of hearing; he’s hard of listening.
The showing up late for the Queen.
Ugh, yes. Did he even eat what was set before him at the banquet? He has the diet of a nine-year-old.
He was served Délice de Flétan en Vapeur
Mousseline de Cresson Velouté au Cerfeuil
Selle d’Agneau deWindsor Farcie Marigny
Timbale de Carottes à l’Estragon
Panaché de Légumes d’Eté
Pommes Elizabeth
Salade
Tarte Sablée Breton aux Fraises
Crème à la Verveine
Fresh fruit, coffee, and petit fours.
He probably asked for a burned steak and ketchup.
Seeing it all laid out like this really lends credence to simulation theory.
Yep, our simulation masters version of trapping one of your Sims in a room with no doors.
Did CDProject Red build this world? Because there are a lot of bugs and issues and it seems to run like shit with the older generations.
Does the ORB activate the Melania robot that’s standing next to Trump?Also, not a single person in that picture is looking in the same direction as anyone else.
The two “scandals” that mean the least but also tell you the most about a person:Donny gets two scoops of ice cream; everyone else only gets oneDonny’s salt and pepper shaker have to be bigger than everyone else’s
Those feel like power move 101 shit he read in a book in the early 80s. The kinda shit about how you dominate in business by being an “alpha male”
It’s some straight up Jack Donaghy shit.
And the aforementioned dementia has Donny putting more pepper than salt on his two scoops … I mean, who the fuck does that?
If I had hands the size of Trump’s, I certainly wouldn’t want to dictate that anything hand-held be larger than normal size.
People are batteries so don’t exercise or you will die
Where’s “Can we nuke a hurricane?” Or “Toilets are so hard to flush”?
Or exploding dishwashers, his need to flush 20 times, and the showers that fail to get him wet, and ruin his “beautiful” hair.
The obvious conclusion is that he has been shitting in the dishwasher.
Obviously.
Has nobody mentioned that he wanted the United States to buy Greenland? And that Sen. Tom Cotton backed him up on that in an editorial? Christ, there was some much bullshit so often it feels like he got elected forty years ago.
nuke a hurricane
http://fimody.com/
(My humble apologies to the Catherine Wheel) Donnie’s staring at the sun
Donnie’s Twitter page is gone
Donnie’s pain has just begunHe’s suf-fer-ingDonnie’s staring at the su-u-u-u-un…Been singing this song all day. I am enjoying the fuck out of this dismal human being’s demise
Thanks for the memories. What a time to be alive!
Dumbest man to ever attain the Presidency. And yes, that includes Dubya.
Wait – Lawnmower Boy isnt photoshopped? My life has been a lie.What’s the context?
re: Trump’s “power handshake” (LOL); did we determine if he stopped doing it after Macron tried to grind his hand into dust that time? Because if so, bravo Macron! https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-europe-40081069