Welcome to Parlor, the app that everyone's accidentally downloading instead of Parler

Aux Features Aux
Welcome to Parlor, the app that everyone's accidentally downloading instead of Parler
Photo: SOPA Images

Parler, the internet’s premier destination for consequence-free hate speech and coup-planning, isn’t doing so well right now. While there’s still plenty of room to share just about any deranged, evil thought that crosses your mind on Facebook and Twitter (as long as you’re not the President), Parler’s been removed from both the Apple and Google Play stores until it pours bleach on its servers and entirely reinvents its moderation policies. For now at least, Parler’s offline.

Nature abhors a vacuum, though, and Parlor, an app for talking to strangers online, has rushed to fill Parler’s place, gaining popularity based on the fact that it’s the top result showing up on digital storefronts now that the one spelled with an “e” is down.

Parlor bills itself on the Google Play store as “the First and Only Social Talking Network,” has a 2.9 out of 5 review score, and touts features like “Millions Of Users,” “Celebrity Users,” “VIP Fan Clubs,” “New Topics,” and “Private Calls.” As Mashable notes, Parlor’s existed for 10 years and only had “40,000 downloads as of December 2020,” but is now the second most popular app on Apple and Android. The point of the app, as far as we can tell, is to talk to strangers randomly assigned to you on your phone until you’ve grown a social network big enough to, say, discuss your favorite TV shows or topple a government.

We checked it out to see what these “millions of users” (celebrities included!) might be up to and how the app’s designed. The first impression isn’t great. Parlor’s got big ads on the top and bottom of the screen and category tiles, like, most notably, one with a cartoon outline of Capitol Hill that reads, “Your Voice Matters.” There’s also “Vent,” a channel that exists for you to yell at strangers about whatever you’re angry about at the moment, and we’re getting a sense that Parlor developers have been working hard to take advantage of their big moment in the typo-shining sun.

The app seems a bit too junky to really capitalize on its accidental success, though. The overall vibe of the thing is Yahoo! chat room circa 2005. Categories like “Peace” are labeled with that all-religions co-exist bumper sticker image, a category called “Random” features wacky fonts and loudly colored letters, and there’s an “Under 21" label with a restricted area sign that gives off real “By Teens, For Teens” Web 1.0 impression. To make matters worse, all but one of the calls we tried to join timed out while searching for another user or as the result of a connection error. The one that did connect was an English child yelling “hello?” in the “Vent” channel, which we hung up on immediately. Though it may have achieved accidental success, Parlor with an “o” hardly seems like a worthy successor to its vanquished, similarly-spelled, diaper heap of a fellow app.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]

143 Comments

  • toddisok-av says:

    Oh, I’m sorry, I was looking for Pornlor; but I may be persuaded to accept Pornler.

  • argiebargie-av says:

    Is Via Getty on Parlor too?

  • brickhardmeat-av says:

    Was Parlor rushed to production to capitalize on Parler? Or did it just coincidentally have the same name? Article makes it sound like the former, which, if true, is a fascinating marketing strategy. It’s not uncommon to copy the name/brand of an established competitor but not when that competitor is a toxic beacon to the literal worst people in the world. 

    • dbradshaw314-av says:

      The fact that the article says Parlor has been around for 10 years.

      • brickhardmeat-av says:

        Ah thanks. Started skimming after I read “Parlor, an app for talking to strangers online, has rushed to fill Parler’s place”.

        • yesidrivea240-av says:

          Thanks for admitting that you just skimmed it. I know I’ve been guilty of that too, and I admit it, but most of the people that fail to read the whole article double down on their opinion and start an argument instead.

    • gargsy-av says:

      “Or did it just coincidentally have the same name?”

      It doesn’t have the same name.

    • PapaFrita-av says:

      Yup, it was created under the name Parlor.fm in 2011, and dropped the .fm part at some point. I t was last updated in July, I think its sudden success is mostly an accident.

  • martianlaw-av says:

    There’s a sucker born every minute.

    • pocrow-av says:

      Also don’t tell the boomers about the need for a social media network to actual be hosted on servers, like Parler used to be.

    • daddddd-av says:

      Forever convinced that people calling any of this censorship neither know how to use their phone or know about any website other than Facebook and Twitter, so they HAVE to have EVERY piece of information on those two exact sites or else it’s a “free speech issue.” Like cmon it’s not censorship just because you don’t know how to use a computer or setup your own blog.

      • martianlaw-av says:

        You’re exactly right.

        • elloasty-av says:

          Did the president forget that he has press room where he can call a press conference whenever he wants? 

          • daddddd-av says:

            Pretty much *every* politician can call a press-conference any hour of the day and it’ll be shared on every social media platform and news website in minutes, people just have social media addictions and have forgotten what life was like before 10 years ago.

          • galvatronguy-av says:

            Right, I’m pretty sure I have like a WordPress page and Geocities site that still exists somewhere in the annals of the internet

          • kimothy-av says:

            I just now remembered that I made geocities websites dedicated to my niblings when they were wee. I have no idea how to get to them anymore. 

          • triohead-av says:

            “Sure… but then I’d have to hire a press secretary and some kind of media team and… wait, I have all of that, too?”

          • ooklathemok3994-av says:

            “Everytime I go out there, they just start shouting questions at me and don’t laugh my jokes. Can I just do another rally, instead?” 

          • diabolik7-av says:

            True, but there are only so many landscaping companies adjacent to a dildo shop and facing a crematorium. Honestly, far fewer than you think. It’s not like you can just phone them up and book a press briefing…

          • lt2k-av says:

            Shahaha! 🤫

        • mjensenwv-av says:

          They’re going to have to go back to smoke signals. Which they’ll doubly love because the increase in atmospheric particulate matter will really piss off the libz.

        • nameiwillregret-av says:

          Has someone told Republicans that they can still communicate on other platforms as long as they aren’t issuing death threats and plotting sedition? I hope no one has told them, because I certainly don’t intend to.

        • pocrow-av says:

          Devin Nunes, who refuses to hold town halls or press conferences, is stymied about how he might communicate with his constituents.

          Honestly, I can’t tell whether he or Matt Gaetz, the other obvious true believer, is the dumber box of rocks.

        • stevetellerite-av says:

          nunes: “speak no good feel hurt bad special white freedom num-num”

        • adohatos-av says:

          It’s like an Onion headline:I Have No Way To Speak To My Constituents Says Politician On National Television

        • lt2k-av says:

          THEY HAVE NO WAY TO COMMUNICATE NOW.Gurl, just start up a party line old skool styles.976-4GOP

          • mjensenwv-av says:

            Want to hear a personal message from *your* favorite conservative?Just dial 1-900-OWN-LIBZ to hear the thoughts of the most respected members of the Republican party. Just look at the hits we’ve got lined up. You can hear from Devin Nunes, Milo (I’m not going to try to spell his name), Sarah Palin, Diamond, Silk, both Diamond AND Silk (extra charges apply), Candace Owens, Glenn Beck, David Duke, AND MANY MORE! Coming soon, personal messages from President Trump himself!Each call is $5.99 for the first minute and $1.99 for each additional minute.

        • turnonthefun-av says:

          I thought Repubs already had their own social media app, called Pardon.

          Word is that staffers and appointees in the White House keep on asking everyone around them to “Pardon Me.” I figured that was like a friend request or something…

      • eyebreakthings-av says:

        To be clear, just because something is available elsewhere doesn’t mean that censorship isn’t technically happening. But censorship isn’t necessarily bad, nor is mutually exclusive with Free Speech. It’s when government entities start censoring (usually through laws) that’s when censorship encroaches on free speech. 

      • the-assignment-av says:

        It is technically censorship, just not government censorship.

    • weirdstalkersareweird-av says:

      When this is said and done, some people are going to choose to kill themselves rather than admit error. 

      • wellgruntled-av says:
      • oddseth-av says:

        Otherwise known as “pulling an Epstein.”

      • lockeanddemosthenes-av says:

        This is my actual concern, that a bunch of families get murder-suicided on the 19th because dad spent too much time on Facebook and Parler.

      • lt2k-av says:

        One can only hope.

      • yesidrivea240-av says:

        This political climate turned me into a monster because I can’t truthfully say I have a problem with that outcome…

        • weirdstalkersareweird-av says:

          If I could spare the innocents who will be caught in the crossfire? I’d feel the same way.I keep going back to people like a friend of a friend, who is fully immersed in the GOP-cousinfucked-Evangelicalism-and-had-rotten-progeny cult. He and his wife are “quiverful” Christians have something like six kids. Can you imagine the shit those kids will have to go through in adulthood? They are being actively programmed.

        • nemebean-av says:

          Was talking to my Dad the other day and he said he was glad the Capitol police didn’t open fire on the insurrectionists because the visual of dead bodies all over would have been horrible. I’m still not sure I agree.WTF happened to us?

          • yesidrivea240-av says:

            When Trump was first elected, I assumed we’d be fucked by the end of his presidency. I didn’t expect it to last 900 years and bring us to the brink like this. I have no idea what happened.

    • mjensenwv-av says:

      This is like when flappy bird got pulled from the app store.

    • eyebreakthings-av says:

      Hey, Freedom isn’t Free… It’ll cost ya $8,500+.

    • oddseth-av says:

      This is hilariously awesome!  Thanks for sharing.

    • whereareweanyway-av says:

      And Suckees too, apparently.

    • bladeninjaz-av says:

      it’s the Flappy Bird thing all over again.

  • obscurereference-av says:

    Isn’t Clubhouse also a talking app? It’s currently invite-only, but if it eventually opens up to anyone who wants to sign up, the last thing I want is to log on to yet another social media app.

  • robert-denby-av says:

    *Spike Lee angrily downloads Pokemon GO*

  • modusoperandi0-av says:

    Well, that explains the rush to the Tyler Perry app, Perler.

  • guyroy01-av says:

    The entire reason internet social media providers are immune from lawsuits is they are by law not responsible for what third parties say and do on their platforms. The reason this immunity was given was to FOSTER free speech. Nor is what is written there an “endorsement” of any view the same way Facebook is not responsible for every single persons posts. trying to make Parler, which is really no different from Twitter responsible for what third parties write is hypocritical, completely spiteful and wrongheaded. I am against censorship in any form. it is unamerican and will only exacerbate the divisions that everyone is tired of and wish would stop.

    • blpppt-av says:

      Except that they aren’t banning Parler based on lawsuits. They are banning them because they specifically violated the terms of the hosting service. Which is a PRIVATE company. They don’t want to be associated with Parler because it will hurt their bottom line.They are free to go find another hosting service, just not AWS. And if nobody else wants to pick them up, that’s capitalism for you. Something that the “free market” clowns are always whining about—-not getting the government to regulate private business.Unless you can prove that all of these companies are conspiring/colluding to drive Parler out of business, there is no resolution here that would have the government stepping in to force a private web hosting company to take Parler.

      • guyroy01-av says:

        If they “violated” a hosting agreement, every social media company has. The idea that Parler..which you just admitted cannot be sued and Amazon cannot be sued for what is on it, “hurts” the bottom line of mega billion dollar Amazon is..c’mon man. If anything, seven million people on it helps their bottom line. Marsh v. Alabama the Supreme Court stated a private company, open to the public cannot deny people their constitutional rights. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marsh_v._Alabama Besides that, it is just wrong and spiteful and people want a new tone. That was what the election was about. If this is going to devolve into our side being mean and spiteful and spiking the football on half the country as what we just voted against did, that is not helpful.

        • kalassynikoff-av says:

          What you posted has zero bearing with this. They have signed LEGAL documents agreeing to terms and conditions. The company is completely within their legal rights to terminate that agreement. The lawsuit wouldn’t last 5 seconds in court. There is no censorship/freedom of speech being taken away here.

        • bishbah-av says:

          What constitutional right is AWS denying by turning away Parler’s business? If you try to say the First Amendment, I’ll laugh in your face. Last I checked, Amazon is not the goverment.

          • actuallydbrodbeck-av says:

            I’m pretty sure AWS is making Parler quarter British troops.

          • djdeejay-av says:

            We might be only 10 years away from the United States of America (a subsidiary of Amazon eCommerce).

          • dinkwiggins-av says:

            last time I checked “freedom of speech” and “the 1st Amendment” were not synonymous. 

          • nemebean-av says:

            Last I checked, Amazon is not the goverment.You have to remember that conservatives want to hand most government functions over to private business, so their confusion is understandable./tongue planted firmly in cheek

        • pgoodso564-av says:

          Let’s assume for the moment you’re not concern trolling and actually don’t know how software Terms of Use work.

          What is the difference between delisting Parlor for violating terms of use and, say, delisting a game that hides pornographic ads inside of it?

          Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You don’t get to go on your neighbor’s lawn and plant your own political sign, then complain when they toss it in the trash. That’s not oppression. That’s you being a jerk, and your neighbor doing the minimum to protect THEIR own rights, not them infringing on yours.

          As well, the Supreme Court case you discuss was specifically found not to cover software service or internet service providers, because it was about literally suppressing speech for workers in a town they were required to live in by their employer, which doesn’t really exist any more… which is also something YOUR OWN LINK SPECIFICALLY NOTES, so, careful on selectively reading summaries of case law. In other words, there is essentially no difference between what Amazon and other social media networks are doing and what AOL did when it created spam filters back in the 90s: perfectly constitutional according to multiple court rulings at multiple levels.

          You might do better to browse public accommodation case law while you’re pretending to be a lawyer on this subject. Try and pretend this is akin to segregation maybe? See how far that logic takes you with people who don’t know better, maybe. Because it won’t get you far with the folks that do.

          • guyroy01-av says:

            I think the irony is being lost that in the case law it was the five conservative justices that said private companies can do what they want and it was the four “liberal” justices that said they can’t and free speech rights apply to private companies..strange bedfellowhttps://www.theverge.com/2019/6/17/18682099/supreme-court-ruling-first-amendment-social-media-public-forum

          • lt2k-av says:

            👏

        • grendelthing-av says:

          Inciting violence isn’t protected under the first amendment. Try again.

        • mjensenwv-av says:

          I’m not sure what to tell you other than that squeaky wheels get grease. Sure there are problems on Facebook and Twitter, but both of those sites have moderation policies and tools that they can show to their server owners to say “hey, we’re not perfect, but we’re doing what we can to moderate our content.”Parler said “we’re not moderating our content, come at me bro.” And AWS said “ok then, you’re making a lot of news for being a terrible place, we don’t want to associate with you any longer. Bye Felicia.”I’m willing to bet a month’s pay that the Venn diagram of “average parler user” and “people who think a bakery should be allowed to deny service to gay weddings” is a single circle.

        • blpppt-av says:

          “If they “violated” a hosting agreement, every social media company has.”Maybe so, but it is up to the hosting company to actually care. Not up to you, me, or (currently) the government.Welcome to free-market capitalism.

          • mifrochi-av says:

            The irony, of course, is that Amazon shouldn’t exist – its market share is far too large, its founder is way too rich, and it’s basically symptomatic of the rot at the heart of American capitalism in the 21st century. Also symptomatic of that rot: the fact that the actions of a web-hosting service is the public’s only recourse against anti-government extremists, and the fact a mega-corporation can earn immediate ire from conservatives by exhibiting a shred of civicmindedness. 

          • blpppt-av says:

            The funny thing is, all these libertarian and/or free-market morons want us to remove even FURTHER regulations from Amazon and the like.Bezos got nearly $200 billion WITH regulations in place.

        • lightice-av says:

          If they “violated” a hosting agreement, every social media company has.You know what the difference between Parlel and, say, Facebook is? Facebook isn’t hosted by Amazon’s servers, they’ve got their own, and they make their own rules about what they want to host. And however bad at they are at enforcing it, even Facebook has rules against hate speech. Parlel has nothing, and subsequently it has become a platform for terrorists to plan their attacks, and no right-thinking company is going to touch service like that with a 100-foot pole. You consider forbidding planning for terrorist attacks and political violence to be “mean and spiteful”? I don’t event want to know what you consider kind and friendly.

        • gargsy-av says:

          “If they “violated” a hosting agreement, every social media company has.”

          Care to cite a single source?

        • ooklathemok3994-av says:

          No company can be compelled to host hate speech. Your argument is dumber than dogshit.

        • lordbobbmort-av says:

          Amazon decided that Parler’s instances did not hurt their bottom line and, honestly, it really doesn’t. Parler’s use of AWS is most likely a drop in the bucket for Amazon.But as it’s most likely been pointed out already, there is no law broken by Amazon denying Parler use of its product as there is no law requiring that Parler exist. It does not violate someone’s right to “free speech” because that clause in the 1st amendment regards the ability of someone’s right to not be prosecuted by the government for free speech. 

          • lightice-av says:

            Amazon decided that Parler’s instances did not hurt their bottom line and, honestly, it really doesn’t. Parler’s use of AWS is most likely a drop in the bucket for Amazon.Amazon’s main concern is that if they don’t self-regulate after the Capitol debacle, they might end up getting more government oversight, instead. 

          • lordbobbmort-av says:

            Certainly, I was just pointing out that the bottom line argument was null in this case leaving them the opportunity to make whatever decision they wanted.

          • lightice-av says:

            Certainly, I was just pointing out that the bottom line argument was null in this case leaving them the opportunity to make whatever decision they wanted.But it’s not null, at all. The Parler contract is just a drop in the ocean for Amazon, but continuing hosting them could have cost them far more, due to other customers abandoning them for serving far right terrorists, as well as increased scrutiny and regulation from the law. It wasn’t a hard calculation for them to drop Parler like a hot potato, under the circumstances.

          • lordbobbmort-av says:

            That’s exactly what I’m saying haha, Parler meant nothing to them financially, like the person above wanted to say, so they were free to make any other decision regarding Parler and it just made that decision easier.

        • ginghamboxer-av says:

          “Your side” organized a terrorist attack on the US government. Sorry, not sorry that twitter, apple, amazon, and google are uninterested in hosting terrorists organizing crimes. Imagine thinking that banning terrorists is spiteful. Laughing in your face. 

        • lawfella-av says:

          Lawdog—if you even were a real dog, you would know that the Supreme Court has limited Marsh to its facts. See Flagg Bros. Inc. v. Brooks, 436 U.S. 149 (1978); Hudgens v. NLRB, 424 U.S. 407 (1976). The Supreme Court has also rejected the application of the state-action doctrine to an analogous medium, public-access TV channels (Manhattan Cmty. Access Corp. v. Halleck, 139 S. Ct. 1921 (2019)), and every court that’s considered the question has rejected the application of the state-action doctrine to internet services (see, e.g., Cyber Promotions v. America Online, 948 F.Supp. 436 (E.D. Pa. 1996)).

        • diabolik7-av says:

          But the good news is that you’ll be able to go back to your law school and get a complete and entire refund!

        • outtamywayjerkass-av says:

          lol what the fuck ever. As always, it’s incumbent on non-fascists to be nice to fascists. 

        • Lintor-av says:

          Choosing not to host content is not a violation of the 1st amendment. Amazon/Google/Apple have no obligation to give a platform.Nothing is stopping Parler from buying their own servers and hosting the content themselves.

      • dinkwiggins-av says:

        hey, if a bakery doesn’t want to serve a gay wedding cake, that’s capitalism for you. capitalists always know best. and if you can’t trust capitalists to regulate the online speech of billions of people then who can you trust, really. capitalism: the awesomest.

        • blpppt-av says:

          “capitalists always know best. and if you can’t trust capitalists to regulate the online speech of billions of people then who can you trust, really. capitalism: the awesomest.”You are missing the point. The people complaining about the lack of regulation here that allows Twitter and the like to do this are the ones usually whining about the government sticking its nose in private businesses’ affairs.Its pure hypocrisy. It only becomes an issue when a private company stomps on their wants.

    • destron-combatman-av says:

      “Parler, which is really no different from Twitter…”Oh, so you’re a moron and a liar.

    • gargsy-av says:

      “I am against censorship in any form.”

      Be against racism, misogyny and insurrections instead, dickhead.

    • schwartz666-av says:

      Dude, I’m all with you on free speech, but Parler’s users way crossed the line from violent hate speech (which is protected speech) to literal plotting of murders & terrorism (which is most definitely a crime). Also, because Parler only has a user-based jury moderation system, they left it up to users to decide what goes too far (which is basically nothing). So I most definitely don’t blame companies for not wanting their business.By your logic, should social media sites not moderate any content at all, including things like planning terrorism, child pornography, or harrassment?
      Parler is free to exist. They will just need to run their own web servers and thereby be solely responsible for the files existing on their hard drives.

      • guyroy01-av says:

        despite the hysterics on here, I have not seen any examples of anyone on Parler “plotting murder and terrorism”. The only example I have seen in numerous articles is one guy commenting on a picture saying hang em! (which the guy is obviously in the wrong) and a couple posts saying what entrances to the capitol had the most police presence, so they could sneak in. I do agree that they should moderate content, I just do not think banning companies is the right approach.

    • brontosaurian-av says:

      You have no idea what you’re talking about. 

    • dumb1-av says:

      Looks like lawdog just took a shit on the rug

    • mifrochi-av says:

      “I’m against censorship in any form” is a highfalutin’ way of saying “bring on the child porn!”

    • thisguywatchedclerks-av says:

      Im gonna blow your mind.
      Facebook has NEVER USED a web hosting service. Even in the early days.
      Google has never used a web hosting service.
      Amazon’s website has NEVER used a web hosting service.You can absolutely run a website without a “web hosting service” like AWS. But it is cheaper and a great solution if you think your website is going to be a “flash in the pan” and then disappear. If the founder of Parler actually ran a legitimate tech company, he would be buying servers right now.

  • hapaboi-av says:

    I know the A/V Club disliked Death To 2020, but this clip is hilarious and extremely on point:

  • coolmanguy-av says:

    “big ads on the top and bottom of the screen” Just like every Kinja site!

  • walruswarfare-av says:

    Hate speech is spewed by both sides, don’t get it twisted.

  • mykinjaa-av says:

    Parlor.

    For the people that eat at Denny’s and drive PT Cruisers. For the people who wear Crocs and pronounce wash as “waRsh”. For the blue blooded ‘Murican who forgoes masks in public spaces and protests their local bar closing on capitol steps with AR-15’s.

    • kate-monday-av says:

      I was with you until the bit where you denigrated the western PA accent. Most of my family pronounces it “warsh” – don’t lump them in with these traitorous scumbags!  Also, nurses and other people who have to stand all day get a Crocs-wearing dispensation, right?

    • gargsy-av says:

      The fuck are you talking about?

  • kinosthesis-av says:

    The one that did connect was an English child yelling “hello?” in the “Vent” channel, which we hung up on immediately.That is some ace journalism if I ever heard of it.

  • dbradshaw314-av says:

    Breaking news: Perd Hapley from Parks and Recreation has announced the founding of “Perdler.” Quoting from the announcement: “The purpose of creation of this platform is the reason that the platform was created.”

  • mytvneverlies-av says:

    I thought they’d go with Parlr.

  • thejewosh-av says:

    The point of the app, as far as we can tell, is to talk to strangers randomly assigned to you on your phoneSo, chatroulette? Are there as many dicks?

  • raycearcher-av says:

    Cyber stalking
    Cyber hate is on the line
    Let’s conspire

    Taze my gonads
    Steal a podium with your friends
    Get me fired

    Get your satellite
    Apple took our chatroom
    Talking on the net
    About who we don’t like
    Get your credit card
    Buy an 8 thousand dollar phone
    All I wanna get is a rap sheet

    Trumpin’ in the 90s

  • junwello-av says:

    Parlor could become HUGE just through this–Trumpies signing up and just using it, thinking all the while hmm, this is not quite what I thought it would be, but OK, whatever.  ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.  

  • mike-in-socal-av says:

    i met some decent local people on yahoo chat, msn, and aol back in the day. too bad this seems nothing like any of that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Share Tweet Submit Pin