Arnold Schwarzenegger conducts surprise AMA, reveals hilarious rejected Commando scene
Aux Features Arnold Schwarzenegger
Earlier today, the first trailer for Terminator: Dark Fate dropped, featuring all the human vs. robot vs. maybe-sorta-robot action you’d expect. More importantly, the responsibility of uploading a link to that trailer to Reddit somehow fell to Arnold Schwarzenegger, who graciously stuck around in the comments to answer some questions, AMA-style, about Terminator and beyond.
When asked some nonsense from a Reddit chud about Hollywood “…piggybacking off of classics by using a female lead,” Arnold was absolutely not here for that bullshit, responding, “You know that Linda Hamilton is a leading woman in both Terminator 1 and 2, correct?”
Upon being wished to feel better after being dropkicked by some idiot in South Africa last week, Arnold said, “How can I feel better when I didn’t ever feel bad?” As for the fate of the dropkicker: “I didn’t press charges and hope he gets his life on track. That’s no way to get a Lamborghini.”
The impromptu AMA included a number of other fun nuggets, such as the role Schwarzenegger would most want to reprise next (Conan), the origins of his dog Gustav’s name (he’s named after Arnold’s dad), and plenty of tips on weightlifting. But by far the highlight was Arnold’s response to being asked if he knew how intentionally funny Commando was while he was filming it.
As soon as I carried a thousand pound log with one arm I knew it was funny. But let me share the scenes you didn’t see that I tried to get in.
I wanted to cut off a guy’s arm and kill him with it. This wasn’t in the script. He would throw a knife at me and after he missed, while his arm was still extended, I chop it off at the shoulder with a machete and beat him to death with it. Needless to say, I was asked by the head of the studio, Larry Gordon to come to his office. And he said “what the fuck is the matter with you? Do you want to make money with this movie or an x-rated movie?”
I said “you’re right” and he said “get the fuck out of my office.”
One can only hope that if we should ever see the return of John Matrix in another Commando film, it absolutely should include that scene. In response to a fan’s pitch of “Thanks for lending me a hand” as the rejected scene’s accompanying one-liner, Arnold assured them they were “hired.”
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227 Comments
Arnold is on Reddit all the time. He’s very active there and responds to a lot of the people that talk to him. He’s also very funny on there. This is not a surprise to me.
I have enjoyed almost all of Arnold’s career except for his bafflingly idiotic stint as governor. He got caught up the Bush era group-think, is my only explanation, because once he left office he immediately started making a lot more sense on subjects like gerrymandering and climate change.
But even as Governator he wasn’t especially conservative, was he? I got the impression he was about what you’d expect from a California Republican.Regardless, I’m glad he seems to be really enjoying life right now.
He certainly wasn’t an all out loon, and he’s always been better than the average Republican on climate issues, but he wasn’t good. CREW listed him as one of the most unethical governors in the country:https://www.citizensforethics.org/crews-worst-governors-profile-arnold-schwarzenegger-r-ca/But the big disaster was the budget. When Arnold left, California had a $26.3 billion deficit. Of course the financial crisis was the major factor, but Arnold wanted to go the austerity route – essentially indulging in the bullshit ideas that were plaguing the entire nation’s economy. Cut programs, refuse to raise taxes on the wealthy, usual song and dance.To make a long story short, Arnold leaves, basically every Republican is voted out of state office. Taxes are raised…now California is anticipating a $20 billion surplus.As governor, he was just usual shithead rightwinger, like Brownback in Kansas. All of them tried the same, failed economic policies.I found that sad, since Arnold genuinely seems like an awesome guy.
“he was just usual shithead rightwinger”I cannot WAIT for the civil war. I am smart and they are stupid, and they need to learn their lesson.
Well, at least California has the money needed to buy weapons and supplies for the war…
But you are.
Me too so a bunch of tech nerd liberals can unleash the robots programmed with AI to identify and kill white trash conservatives, maybe use the drones they develop and program. Conservatives still think wars are fought with pistols and rifles lmao.
And you probably say that you are against fascism. Jesus Christ, you lefties are the gifts that keep on giving.
Every one of those economic policies miserably failed over the last decade, and yet, here we are, still arguing about them.
Well when we’re also having concurrent “arguments” over vaccines, is it any surprise?
Lefties will be too busy tweeting their latest state of offense and using the resulting likes as validation to ever engage in a Civil War. Certainly, they’ll run their mouths about it, but unless it’s online or in a mob setting (on incredibly lesser numbers), physical confrontation is NOT their bag.
Hey, guess who thought the other side were a bunch of weenies that would roll over when confronted with real, brave men? I won’t give you a direct answer, but they’re still so pissed about getting their asses handed to them that they throw tantrums over statues.Me: There is a lot of data indicating your economic policies have failed. We need to do something else.You: CIVIL WAR!!!!!!!!!
doesn’t his sentence imply that there could be non-shithead rightwingers too?
on arnold’s first day in office, he went on the radio and called the state legislature a bunch of homos. the legislature responded by blocking every one of his initiatives. he was in way over his head, and anybody living in california at the time, democrat or repub, could attest to that.
To make a long story short, Arnold leaves, basically every Republican is voted out of state office.
Arnie with the long con, nice.
“To make a long story short, Arnold leaves, basically every Republican is voted out of state office. Taxes are raised…now California is anticipating a $20 billion surplus.”Literally unprecedented market gains across almost every single sector of the economy could not possibly have been part of this. Oh no.
Right, because those gains lead to a federal surplus, too, right?And Kansas, boy, those market gains turned it into a fiscal paradise…It’s never one thing. Management is important.
Imagine thinking republicans leaving office in California is why their economy is so strong while being a condescending dick about it. Trying to reconcile that simplistic, bias affirming world view couple with just bananas levels of ignorance is wild.
The governor is more of a figurehead that anything in California. The public sector unions have the state senators and assemblypeople (who by a far margin mostly Democrats) in their pockets and they truly run the state. Arnold had some really sane attempts to get the budget in order, but got blocked on nearly all of them. He finally said “fuck it!!” and just went along with the Democrats. I hate to be all doom and gloom, but California may be screwed in the near future.
I was not living in my home state of California while Arnie was governor (I moved away in 2004 for reasons unrelated to that bullshit recall election of Grey Davis spearheaded by everybody’s favorite birthday clown Darrell Issa), but I do remember that right when I moved back, he signed a bill reducing the criminalization of marijuana. So that was pretty cool. He also moved a bit left over time, but I never really saw him as anything but a Republican placeholder (much like our current President), even from afar. But yes, he totally fucked our economy, something that was only fixed by Jerry Brown. The taxes suck, sure, but I’d much rather live in the 5th largest economy in the world than, well, not.
Arnie’s response to the state debt was to float bonds. Borrowing money at a high interest rate for short-term gain. Another short-sighted fix that’ll end up costing the state in the long run, well after he’s gone.
I have no idea why conservatives even call themselves that anymore. All they seem to know how to do is burn down everything around them in exchange for a little pocket money up front. Hey, let’s set this highly profitable strip bar on fire for moral purity points from the churchies so we can then raid the register and run away.
This is possibly my favorite take in at least the last couple years. I screen capped it and shared it with some friends. 😀
Haha nice! It’s true, isn’t it? This country is being run like a mob-fronted strip bar right now anyway.
I mean, given how much of his time is spent in apocalyptic futures, can you really blame the guy for playing the short game?
Aye. And just imagine a president combining Arnold’s funny, easy-going, entertaining manner with Donald Rump’s ignorance, incompetence, rampant virulent racism, xenophobia, technophobia, anti-science, brazen corruption and pathological lying; the world would be in SO much trouble.
So… Ronald reagan?
Reagan was very weaksauce compared to Rump in most every respect.He could act presidentially though, and he looked good on TV, so at least he had those two things going for him.
that is the point though- reagan was racist, homophobic, xenophobic, completely corrupt and did not respect the rule of law and he embraced disenfranchising unions and rigging the economic system for the 1% at the cost of everyone else. he’s everything trump is, but he was smart and genial and was extremely successful. without reagan, we don’t even get trump (reagan was the one who brought the evangelicals into the republic party and they were the ones who gave trump the primary. without them, he was just a joke candidate and jeb bush is president)
Point taken, but that said – and I wasn’t really old enough to follow U.S. politics at the time (I was still 16 when he left office) – but I don’t recall hearing about those times he said the free press is the enemy of the people, or at his Walmart version of the Nuremberg rallies when he told the audience to beat people up and said he would pay their legal bills, or said “fine people on both sides” about fricken Nazis, or when he refused to name hundreds of gov’t positions, including ambassadors to friendly western nations, or when he appointed department heads with the outspoken wish to dismantle said departments, and so on.Also, I don’t have to mention how Reagan was too classy to openly mock a disabled journalist, and he certainly never conspired with Russia to get elected….. :PRump is way worse than Reagan ever was, by a long shot.
i think you’re missing in some ways your own point- you’re saying essentially what if someone had the same goals and views as trump, but was a suave and likable political operator who could sell his horrible policies to the public and wouldn’t that be bad. and the answer is- it was! reagan *was* that guy- he basically had all of trumps views, but he was smart enough to cloak them in his folksy and likable persona. the stuff he negotiated set this country back literally to the 1890’s in many ways. trumps vulgar nature is the only thing that is holding him back, but if he were a competent and likable person like reagan, you’d see his entire plan be put into place, and the political classes would cheer
So, the budget issue is basically the thing that landed him into the Governorship. A bunch of proto Tea Party dipshits pitched a tantrum about Grey Davis’ proposed vehicle registration fee increases. (IIRC, they were going to triple.)
The Governator’s platform for the recalls was founded on the position that he’d kill the registration increase, and he wasn’t going to raise taxes. So he didn’t raises taxes.
And then we didn’t have any money.
Absolutely – never forget Enron’s role in that recall – intentionally screwing around with the electrical system, price gouging.That was such a fucked up situation, and I don’t think we ever really came to terms with it.
Precisely because the state refused to cut any meaningful
spending. Instead of boondoggle sweetheart deals given to Amtrak or
power or waterway companies tied to Sacramento, the union mandated and
completely undeserved salaries for government workers receiving 300K for <50 days worked per year, pensions that were not only impossible to pay, but easy to game, they cut from the bottom barrel of homeless relocation and MediCal.
California’s budget is an absolute atrocity, even to this day, but no one had to balls to cut all the necessary expenditures.
Blaming Arnold for California’s budget issue is objectively uneducated. Until the morons in that state grow up about property taxes, they will continue to run up HUGE deficits whenever the economy tanks (and have hilariously inefficient housing markets 24-7).
Nah, that’s a bad take. He was pushing bad policy ideas. What I laid out is 100% true – all Republicans gone, sensible economic policy adopted, all of a sudden there’s a surplus.Now, compare that to a state like Kansas, who maintained all of the idiotic policies Arnold and the Republicans were pushing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kansas_experimentNow, of course California still has issues to resolve, but they have a $20 billion surplus. $20 billion.And your argument is that things will get worse if the economy crashes? This is a brain genius take.
You’re comparing California to…Kansas??? Christ. Talk about a “brain genius take.” *rolls eyes*
https://www.forbes.com/sites/mayrarodriguezvalladares/2018/09/24/fortyusstatescannotaffordtopayalloftheirbills/#612ebf77718aPolitics is a very, very poor metric for how a state is doing financially. It’s asinine to even pretend otherwise.
It wasn’t “politics,” it was specific policy choices. California raised taxes on the wealthy and did not slash services. Kansas cut taxes on the wealthy and businesses and slashed services. They had the exact opposite outcomes.Yes, California has a larger economy and more going on, but they were also hit significantly harder by the financial crisis. The highs are higher and the lows are lower, but the dynamic of the economic choices is valid to study. Certainly, a place like Texas, with its heavy reliance on oil, will show economic conditions often wildly out of step with much of the country – North Dakota functioned the same way with the natural gas boom, but that doesn’t mean states can’t be compared.
Illinois, for example, is largely run by Democrats, but over the past 5 years they had a massive budget impasse because of the stance of the legislature vs. the Republican Governor.As another recent example, compare the economy of Minnesota, a state that chose to maintain a coherent tax policy, with neighbors Iowa and Wisconsin:http://www.citypages.com/news/despite-propaganda-minnesotas-high-tax-economy-is-crushing-wisconsin-iowa/502935262https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/10/21/1806135/-Minnesota-s-Robust-Economy-an-Embarrassment-to-WisconsinCalifornia and Minnesota’s success is not merely the result of improving economic conditions, otherwise other states and the federal budget would show a similar upswing.
This is sort of half-true.
California GOP was already on its death knell when he came around. He just hastened it.
Sure his economics and politics were typical GOP fare (he called the Democrats “girly men”), on the other hand, he was very much pro-enviroment/climate change/kyoto protocol, and was pro choice, pro gay marriage/LGBT issues, and wasn’t as mindlessly heartless to the poor, women, and minorities like the GOP M.O.. All things he’s doubled down on since leaving office. That and the fact that he refuses to bend the knee to Trump has made him a into an official RINO, unofficial Centrist Dem now. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been more or less pushed out of the GOP.
Climate issuesStfu. Climate always changes. No such thing as climate constant.
Hey, that’s a really dumb fucking thing to say!AGW – ANTHROPOGENIC Climate Change.
California has the 4th worst schools, the worst roads, the highest gas, worst poverty and worst income inequality in the country. We have the nation’s worst affordable housing crisis, and a public pension system careening toward insolvency. We have not built water storage and delivery infrastructure in over 40 years, when our population was a little more than half of what it is today. We have the nation’s worst public spending boondoggle in the train to nowhere. Arnold may not have been a great governor, but this state is not an example of the success of taxing the shit out of people and building a massive and corrupt bureaucracy. We are proof that both sides are fucked.
“Taxes are raised…now California is anticipating a $20 billion surplus”
You don’t get it. That’s not a good thing.
That surplus will be swallowed up by the state bureaucracy, very little of it will be spent on programs of any value. Arnold’s plan was to trim government waste, which included the bloated state employee payroll. The state employee unions dominate CA politics because they get patronage votes for entrenched Democrat legislators. They stopped Arnold by accusing him of cutting salaries to Firemen and Teachers, instead of to useless administrative drones. Arnold tried to cut wasteful staff and programs, and tried to ease the tax burden on job creators. The political machine in Sacramento shut him down, and companies continue moving away from California.
We agree that Arnold seems like an awesome guy though.
Regardless, I’m glad he seems to be really enjoying life right now.Whoa! Easy there with the measured response and general good will. Don’t you know where you are!
/s
Well I mean you, on the other hand, can fuck right off.
Aaaaaaaand…we’re back!
Wait, once he *left* office? While he was in office he managed to push through one of the best anti-gerrymandering bills in the country (and the CA GOP is pretty much perma-fucked because of it, well, really because they are shackled to “minorities lol” as a major party platform). Schwartzenegger certainly campaigned like he was going to be a brain dead corrupt Bush-esque mouthpiece, but to his credit once he got into office, he really did seem to say “ok, I don’t know much about being governor – I’m going to hire some smart, mostly non-partisan people and listen to what they have to say”. Sure, he was hardly leading the socialist revolution out there – he was as pro-business as one would expect, but a republican party that actually followed in his footsteps would actually be an intelligent, viable alternative (not one I’d still be likely to vote for, but I’d least I’d feel like I could listen to/work with them).
Fair points.
“Remember when I said I was going to upvote your thread, newb_killer_69?”“That’s right, Arnold, you did!”“I lied.”
He’s SUPER active in the weightlifting subreddits. Which is super cool. If they amended the constitution, I’d 100% vote for him.
If you haven’t seen Pumping Iron I highly recommend it, it was before Arnold was AS big of a star and he is absolutely hilarious in it. He is a naturally funny guy.
It feels like he is coming all the time!
Arnie strikes me as a guy who realises how incredibly lucky he was to go from weight-lifter and male pageant winner to one of the biggest stars of the 90s, and also how faintly ridiculous that career trajectory is. I think that keeps him grounded and with a good sense of humour about himself.
He’s really the actual, literal living embodiment of the American Dream.
He’s also a pretty good Teutonic example too: rising to prominence because of pure strength and focus of will.
Hey man, 80’s AND 90’s. I think most of his best stuff was from the 80’s.
That exact arm scene did make it into another movie, though: the loony Deadly Prey. I remember that Burl reviewed it, hee-hee:http://hiitsburl.blogspot.com/2011/10/burl-reviews-deadly-prey-1987.html
He’s been telling that story about the arm scene literally since before anybody really knew the internet existed. I remember reading about it in the paper when the movie came out in 1985. I saw the headline and I thought “must be the arm scene again.”
Yeah, it’s in the commentary on one of the special edition DVDs I used to have. It was during the shed scene where he actually does chop a guy’s arm off with a machete. Arnold says:“This was the part where I wanted to pick up his arm and say “Let me give you a hand” and kill him with is own arm.”I thought that was both hilarious, and quite an incite into Arnold’s sense of humor. And it would have unseated “See you at the party Richter” as the best Arnold with severed limbs one liner of all time.
I’m partial to when he tells Sully “This is my weak arm.”I’ve said this before but, “Terminator” is the best movie that Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in, but “Commando” is the best Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.
That’s a fact. I watched Commando last night after work just to be 100% sure. Nothing else even comes close. Half a dozen “80s big dudes” could have replaced him in Total Recall, The Running Man, or any of the other major Arnie action flicks and arguably, even The Terminator. Any of the members of his team in Predator could have been “Dutch”. But there’s honestly no one else I can imagine as Matrix. He put so much of himself into the role that it’s impossible to ignore.
This is obligatory but stuck in the greys below:
I will always give mad love to an action movie that uses steel drums as it’s soundtrack. Genius!
That’s a tough call, I don’t know if I could put Commando over “Running Man”, “Total Recall” or even “True Lies’. Even “Twins” has some good shit in it.
This is correct.
I remember reading about it back then (in Premiere Magazine I believe) and they wrote the article as if it was in the movie which confused the Hell out of me.
First, holy shit Burl! That’s a name (and poster) I haven’t seen in forever. Second, Deadly Prey is all types of terrible fun. They just put a recent Rifftrax out with it.
I’m going to have to watch that Rifftrax. Lots of riffs on the jean shorts, no doubt.
Burl? Like…Burl Burl? I have to spend the rest of the day reading blogspot now I suppose.
I know. It’s nice to absorb some good old “ha ha” action from old Burl, as in the days of old. I keep that blog bookmarked for the occasional quick fix.
It’s good to see his movie reviews are just longer versions of his comments. Now I need to find a Nudeador blogspot. You don’t see the phrase “blanket hornpipe” nearly enough with kinja.
“How can I feel better when I didn’t ever feel bad?”I’m definitely stealing that line.
When a young man attacked a 71-year-old, and the 71-year-old barely felt it. The young guy’s self-esteem might have taken a hard drop-kick after that…
“Were you giving me a back rub? You should really ask permission before you do that.”
Goddamn right we need a Commando sequel. And make the villain a fucking Brian Kemp lookalike.
I don’t care who they cast as long as he wears a chainmail vest.
As long as a personality that is half Blackbeard and half Liberace accompanies that vest, I’m down.
It was a knit!
But it has to be a chainmail vest that actually just looks like wool or yarn whatever. I’m not convinced that it was metal at all.
And if it wasn’t metal, wtf was it even about?
Oh it was metal, even if it was yarn. It was metal as fuck.
You know what else he’s wearing? His wedding ring on a necklace. The director didn’t want his hilariously overmatched villain to be married, so he was like, “All right, I’ll wear it on my neck, then.”
I’ve met Vernon and heard him tell his story about his wedding day, and then to hear that he refused to be without his wedding ring for his biggest movie was just unexpectedly heartwarming.
And looks a bit like an out of shape Freddie Mercury…
Holy shit, yes!
And are the complete opposite of physically fit. Can’t forget that. Vernon Wells’ (Bennett) triceps looked like mine when I turned 13. Look how he holds the knife in the fight scene. It’s utter brilliance.
The guy who played Euron Greyjoy would be a nice fit.
They should replace Johnny Depp with Pilou Asbaek as Jack Sparrow in all future Pirates of the Caribbean media.
THAT is who Euron reminded me of! Bennett!
And we all remember who played Bennett, right? It was Vernon Wells, a.k.a. Wez, the psychotic mohawked biker from The Road Warrior.
He also played a spoof of that very same character in Weird Science.‘You two dicks, can’t even take a shower, with a beautiful woman, without wearing YOUR JEANS! HAHAHAHAHA!’
You beat me to it!
“Is this… YOUR PAHTEE?”
AND Weird Science!
I never want to see that guy again.
I recall seeing Commando way back when it was released (in *gasp* theaters!) and thinking this was going to be some serious action film.What a great freaking surprise!The film had its tongue in cheek almost from the first moment, but certainly it was all but clear when our hero jumps out of an airplane as it’s taking off and the explanation for why he doesn’t become a blood stain is that he lands in the “swamp”.Hilarious!“Remember when I told you I’d kill you last? I lied.”So much hilarity in that film. I’d easily place it just behind The Terminator (the original) and Predator as the troika of my favorite Arnold films (no disrespect to T2 or Conan or any other film others may love… those three happen to be my personal favorites!).
I recall seeing Commando way back when it was released (in *gasp* theaters!) and thinking this was going to be some serious action film.What a great freaking surprise!The film had its tongue in cheek almost from the first moment, but certainly it was all but clear when our hero jumps out of an airplane as it’s taking off and the explanation for why he doesn’t become a blood stain is that he lands in the “swamp”.Hilarious!“Remember when I told you I’d kill you last? I lied.”So much hilarity in that film. I’d easily place it just behind The Terminator (the original) and Predator as the troika of my favorite Arnold films (no disrespect to T2 or Conan or any other film others may love… those three happen to be my personal favorites!).
I recall seeing Commando way back when it was released (in *gasp* theaters!) and thinking this was going to be some serious action film.What a great freaking surprise!The film had its tongue in cheek almost from the first moment, but certainly it was all but clear when our hero jumps out of an airplane as it’s taking off and the explanation for why he doesn’t become a blood stain is that he lands in the “swamp”.Hilarious!“Remember when I told you I’d kill you last? I lied.”So much hilarity in that film. I’d easily place it just behind The Terminator (the original) and Predator as the troika of my favorite Arnold films (no disrespect to T2 or Conan or any other film others may love… those three happen to be my personal favorites!).
I recall seeing Commando way back when it was released (in *gasp* theaters!) and thinking this was going to be some serious action film.What a great freaking surprise!The film had its tongue in cheek almost from the first moment, but certainly it was all but clear when our hero jumps out of an airplane as it’s taking off and the explanation for why he doesn’t become a blood stain is that he lands in the “swamp”.Hilarious!“Remember when I told you I’d kill you last? I lied.”So much hilarity in that film. I’d easily place it just behind The Terminator (the original) and Predator as the troika of my favorite Arnold films (no disrespect to T2 or Conan or any other film others may love… those three happen to be my personal favorites!).
The Commando sequel would see Alyssa Milano reprise her role as Jenny and this time she would be the bad ass murder machine with help from her father. Except Ms. Milano probably wouldn’t be down for that so they’d get some other female actress to play the role. Then the incel shitgibbons would lose their goddamned minds when a woman picks up an M60 and mows down an entire army worth of disposable goons.
The first scene. Fade in to the senior center. Arnold cigar in hand, surrounded by several GILFs telling the story about how he chopped a guys arm off and beat him to death with it. But it was OK because he was trying to save his kidnapped little girl. His smartphone rings. It’s the theme song from Who’s The Boss. Alyssa Milano’s face pops up on the phone screen. “Speak of the Devil. It’s my baby. gotta take this”. The older ladies saunter off. “Jenny. Hows my…”“Dad!! They kidnapped your granddaughter!! They have little Cindy!!!” Extreme close up of Arnolds eyes…
There must be some generational nutritional deficiency that makes millennials believe that no one making movies before 1999 was capable of being funny on purpose. You’re right, I’m sure nobody on the set had the slightest clue that the sight of Arnold carrying a two-ton log on his shoulder like it was a rolled up sleeping bag MIGHT be a tad humorous. I mean, how COULD they have known? They didn’t even have memes back then.
Matrix and Jenny catching a dead fish.
Matrix and Jenny feeding a deer.
Matrix and Jenny doing half-assed karate.
Matrix and Jenny eating ice cream and Jenny smooshing it in his face.
All of these scenes occurred DURING THE OPENING CREDITS!They don’t make them like this anymore. What a fucking glorious movie.
Although now, post Arnold’s creepiness and obvious sex addict revelations, those scenes make me wanna call CPS.
Commando is the only Arnold movie I own. That’s a bold fuckin’ statement.
No Predator?!
I like you Gay Rambo, I’ll kill you last.
I really don’t have anywhere to go with this other than I really wanted to write that line with Gay Rambo in it and let someone else write the fan fic.
True story: 90% of memes are just jokes recycled from The Bob Newhart Show
And the other 10% from I Love Lucy.
Huh.
Was your comment funny on purpose?
It’s a fair question, because the amount of movies from the 80s that were trying to be serious or somewhat serious that now come off as straight-up lampoon-ish was pretty damn high. For instance, Cocktail – that movie was absolutely made with a straight face, and it is a batshit crazy movie. See also: Footloose and St Elmo’s fire.
Yeah. I mean, the context of visual language changes over time, and that’s always been the case. Just look at the once ubiquitous montage.
And action movies have long had a reputation for doing some really silly shit with a straight face.
As long as Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich keep making movies, action movies will always be trying the ol’ tongue-in-cheek ridiculousness. Also Fast and the Furious.
Sounds like something an idiot Gen Xer would say tbh. But I’m not going to presume to know or care about the age of a person asking a question on the internet.
I always thought the bad guy in Commando was wearing chainmail, until I finally saw a non-VHS, non-grainy version of the movie as an adult and realized it was just some sort of sleeveless sweater.
dammit
Am I just not getting the joke? He was wearing both.
Mos def chainmail.
No, the black thing underneath is some kind of tactical vest, but the thing on top is a knit sleeveless sweater or some shit. No chainmail. And damn, Bennett looks drunk as fuck in this picture.
It’s hot in Val Verde. Give the man a break or in other words, let off some steam Temperance….
Yeah, but he was just pourrrred into those ill-fitting leather pants…
Most chainmail in movies is just a loosely knit sweater.
“When asked some nonsense from a Reddit chud about Hollywood “…piggybacking off of classics by using a female lead,” Arnold was absolutely not here for that bullshit, responding, “You know that Linda Hamilton is a leading woman in both Terminator 1 and 2, correct?””
When Arnold is calling you on your sexist bullshit you know you’re in trouble.
HE typed that with one hand while he was balls deep up a hotel maid…
Your username certainly is appropriate you unfunny puddle of puke and shit. Now run along to your Proud Boys/MAGA meeting, after all it’s the one where you all take turns blowing and buttfucking each other.
Dude, I’m lampooning a Republican icon…shouldn’t I be running along to, like, I dunno, felch George Soros while he assbangs Elizabeth Warren or something? .
Yeah, I’m confused…did I miss something?
Arnie likes sleeping with the help.
No, like, something not obvious.
Mj’s hair piece forgot to post a trigger warning before flipping out. All is well.
They get confused easy around here.
Conservatives nowadays have left Arnie behind – he criticises Trump, pushes environmentalism, hangs around Hollywood etc.
So, to be clear, you’re anti-Trump but are saying there’s something wrong with a bunch of dudes banging each other?
No, I think he was saying that suppressed rage related to being forced to stay in the closet was the driving force behind Trump’s army of inbred bumpkins.
Lots to unpack here, but it’s 2019 and it’s no longer really an insult to accuse a man of blowing or butt fucking another man.~~~~~~~~~~~~~*The more you know.
Yeah, you sound SO much more enlightened. Nice homophobia, stupid.
I read this whole page in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.
I read your username the same way.
I read both of your comments the same way. And this one as I’m writing it. My thoughts as I’m thinking them, too.Shit.
Don’t worry. It’s not a tumah.
First time I went to Vienna the tram conductor sounded just like Arnie. It absolutely blew my mind, I thought I was going to spend two weeks in a country that was having a permanent Arnie impersonation contest.Turns out only about a third of the guys sound like him.
I have legitimately seen Commando more than 500 times. My saint of a grandfather recorded it off HBO when I was a kid, and my brother and I would watch it nearly every day during our summer vacations.
The arm chopping scene is in the movie, but what I always heard was that Matrix was supposed to slap the guy with his own dismembered hand and say “Be quiet” or something to that effect.
Commando got stuck in my VCR for almost 2 years. I didn’t have cable or an antenna, so anytime I wanted to watch TV it was Commando. It would play till the end and auto rewind and start again.
If memory serves, the brief scene when they crash through a wall into someone else’s hotel room was the first time I saw boobs onscreen in my life. I remember my little schoolfriends and I rewinding and pausing to get that good grainy VHS nudity.
The really funny thing is… that chick is pegging the shit out of that dude (literally), and they’re making a goddamned amateur porn! Look for video camera on the tripod in front of them.
I salute and bow down to your superior scholarship in the subject matter of Schwarzeneggerian filmography.
That’s it. I’m watching this again tonight.
Holy shit you are right.
Love Arnold’s comeback to being told “Fuck you, asshole.” “Fuck YOU, asshole!” DROP THAT MIC
You’ll never believe it, but that was an ad-lib.
Only thing is, when Matrix and Kooke bust in, both people are fucking under a blanket even though there’s a camera rolling. Why are you under a blanket if there’s a camera rolling?
hahahahahahhahahahahaha, great catch. I certainly did not gather that detail when I was eight or whatever!I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that the guy who’s seen it 500 times knows all of the details pretty well. 🙂
I’m a real slacker in that department having only seen it a few dozen times but my local cinema does regular revivals of movies and I got to see it on the big screen for the first time in the last year or so. Had a great time. May not be the best Arnold film (that might be The Terminator where he radiates real menace) but it is the purest most undiluted Schwarzenegger (fiction) film of them all IMO.On a side note, I have yet to see Rambo but I have read the book it is based on.
Arnold and I think alike; many times I’ve threatened people(video game characters) with ripping their arms off and beating them to death with them.
Have you played ‘Breath of the Wild’? Beating people to death with arms is very much a possibility.
I haven’t had a Nintendo system in a long time(looking to change that soon), so no. Sounds like a blast, though.
It is. I’m someone who often gets bored of games quickly, but that did not happen with BotW.
Well, of course technically those “people” are already dead. You can beat someone to death with someone else’s arm though.
Beat a guy with his own arm? Deadly Prey has you covered, go to 1:15 for the gold.
Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
Is that guy’s face bulletproof?
Does the guy who got his arm cut off have no circulatory system? Did that women die instantly from being shot in the hip? Was this movie shot in the woods behind the director’s house? All equally valid questions.
You can’ tell but the machete was super heated so it cauterized as it sliced, kind of like a light saber.
These guys eat too much red meat.
She never did make that 7:00 Advanced Karate class did she?
The impromptu AMA included a number of other fun nuggets, such as the role Schwarzenegger would most want to reprise next (Conan)Conan the Barbarian is arguably the greatest Dungeons and Dragons movie ever created. Including the actual literal Dungeons and Dragons movies.
I said “you’re right” and he said “get the fuck out of my office.”
and arnold responded…
Man, he’s a lot of fun when he’s not the Governor of your state.
Arnold has always been a funny guy. On the T2 documentary there’s behind the scenes of him joking around as he’s having his beat-up endoskeleton prostethics applied, and so on.There’s a great anecdote on the commentaries track from Predator about Arnie pranking Jesse Ventura, who did his first film role on that movie. He said to Jesse that whomever had the biggest biceps circumference should buy the other (whatever, a nice bottle of booze, stogies, something). The warderobe people then gossiped and revealed to Jesse that he had bigger arms than Arnold, which allegedly made Jesse stoked as hell.Then Arnie comes along, flattens Jesse with his massive guns, and reveals he made the warderobe people tell Jesse that he had bigger arms.lol
This is my favorite Arnold story, from Eliza Dushku who played his daughter in True Lies:
If you don’t have a few minutes, basically she invited a friend on set and Arnold took them out to lunch at Planet Hollywood and ended up pie’ing her friend in the face to try and loosen her up.
Wait like with dessert or with jizz? I apologize in advance, but it is Arnie we’re talking about here and the distinction is kind of important.
I’ll always have a few minutes for Eliza Dushku.
Arnold is super wholesome as a celebrity, and I love it. I can just picture him telling the anti-SJW doofus “Did you even waaatch de original Terminaytahs filmz you DOOFUS?”
But what would the quip have been?“Here, let me give you a hand.”“Thanks for giving me a hand with that…”“Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!”“…you put your right arm in, and you shake it all about! You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around…”“Never come to a fight unarmed.”“Everyone likes me because of my disarming personality.”
“Glad I have the right to bear arms.”
Thats the line you use if you kill a guy with a bear.
It’s versatile!
It’s in the commentary on one of the special edition DVDs I used to have. It was during the shed scene where he actually does chop a guy’s arm off with a machete. Arnold says:“This was the part where I wanted to pick up his arm and say “Let me give you a hand” and kill him with is own arm.”I thought that was both hilarious, and quite an incite into Arnold’s sense of humor. And it would have unseated “See you at the party Richter” as the best Arnold with severed limbs one liner of all time.
“Don’t bring your arms to an arm fight!”
“What, no applause?”
I think it would be a two-party deal:Non-Ahnuld Person: “What happened to [Bad Guy]”Ahnuld: “DON’T WORRY I MANAGED TO DISARM HIM!”
Justified already used that riff, with Neal McDonough as the bad guy, no less.
Dammit, you beat me to it
“What’s the sound of one hand clapping?”
“Are you right handed? Not any more!”
“I really have to hand it to you.”
“Can I play the piano any more?”“Of course you can!”“Well I couldn’t before!”*arm-ripping victim turns to piano and nails phrase from Leopold Godowski composition*
Other person to Matrix: “What happened to (Bad Guy Name)?”Matrix: “I disarmed him”
You brought a knife to an arms race.
Damn, that’s good.
I am enjoying all of these, but Arnold delivering the hokey pokey line would be pretty good.
“I’ve got to hand it to you.”
Beat a guy with his own severed arm? Korgoth of Barbaria took care of it!
Obligatory:
This is amazing. “Where the fuck is this guy? We killed his daughter six hours ago.”
If you can watch the whole thing and not pee yourself a little laughing, you’re not human.
Did anyone ask him why, when he threw that pipe through Bennett, the letting off of steam wasn’t preceded by a spray of organs and bone? That’s what I’ve always wondered about Commando.
Boy, I really hope someone got brutally dismembered for that blunder…
Probably because it’s just a pipe, not a vacuum.
Yeah, it’s not a vacuum, because the steam is being pushed out of the pipe. For the steam to escape, it would have to push the guts out first. It’s a gun, not a vacuum.
I guess, but I always thought that part was stupid. So he throws the pipe so hard that it goes right through all that flesh and bone and forms a perfect enough seal into the boiler that the steam just comes out of it that quickly and perfectly?Dumb. Almost as dumb as the rest of this dumb movie. lol
It perfectly defines the line where “dumb” becomes “awesome”. That’s why this movie exists. There’s not a single scene that holds up to any real scrutiny of any kind. Some examples:-Infinite ammo until running out is dramatic-Warehouse sized barracks blown into fiery smithereens with a single claymore mine-30+ guys dumping full auto mags at 1 guy for almost 2 minutes an NO ONE EVEN GRAZES HIM WHILE HE CASUALLY KILLS ALL OF THEM FIRING FROM THE HIP. (Emphasis mine)-Lastly, what’s that pipe even made of? He can just rip it off the wall but it has the required structural integrity to punch through the plate steel of a fully pressurized boiler tank?
He plants like two mines, and there are eight different explosions in places where he never was and could never get to. How did the top of the lookout tower explode all on its own, John? HOW?!It’s dumb for sure, and it’s amazing how we all watched these movies and had them become hugely successful without their infinite levels of stupid never even be questioned.
That’s what makes these movies great for me and that’s why I love everything about The Expendables movies and how all of the stars of these movies got together in their collective retirement to laugh at themselves. Perfectly within the exact idiom in which they made their careers. Except Steven Seagal. There’s always one that believes his own special effects.
I think the Expendables movies started to take themselves too seriously, though, and that’s when they started to go bad.I’ll always love this ‘80s trash. Don’t get me wrong. I said it before in here, but the shopping mall fight scene in this movie is legitimately awesome, and is a crash course in how to choreograph a constantly changing fight sequence in a big setting like that. It’s not just shooting people with a machine gun that looks like you ripped it off a helicopter. It’s far more elaborately staged and complex than that.
I can see that to a degree. But they always walked that line between moments of gravitas where you’re thinking they’re being too serious and then Chuck Norris shows up, alone, and takes out an entire armored division with a G36. “They call him The Lone Wolf”…
That just gets boring. If you’re going to be ridiculous, at least make it interesting.
There is a very distinct, weird “ploooonnngg” sound before the steam jet starts. I always assumed, even the first time I watched this movie as a kid, that it was the sound of the wet plug of thorax being shot out of the end of the pipe. I had a potato cannon (spud gun in TN) at the time and it was the same sound that thing made when you only got partial ignition or didn’t have adequate fuel to get a good shot off.
I assumed the ploooooooong was the sound of the pipe penetrating the boiler behind Bennett. That was a pretty hard throw.
That’s the kind of dull bell ringing sound just before the ploooooonnng. It’s extremely short but I promise you I’ve watched this movie no less than 300 times and my friends and I have torn apart literally every fight scene looking for stuff like this.
All this analysis of such a stupid scene makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he’d laugh too.
The rest of the movie was so realistic so this seems like a MASSIVE oversight on their part. =)
I can’t explain this, but I haven’t seen this movie since it came out in the theater (I’m an old), and I distinctly remember him cutting off a guy’s arm and beating him to death with it. It was the best scene in the movie.Maybe I just heard ages ago that was a thing that was almost in it and my brain began mistaking it for a memory. Weird, though.
I think he just throws the arm on to the guy as he lies there screaming.
Arnold, you’re still #1 in the Phantom Zone. Keep rockin’!
“You know that Linda Hamilton is a leading woman in both Terminator 1 and 2, correct?” I like Arnold’s style of burn. No rude words, no attempting to look cooler-than-thou, just a swift, dispassionate take-down.
Alright, so I watched this movie again tonight, and wow, is it weird. Bennett comes off as some deranged leather daddy with a long-standing, unrequited crush on John Matrix. His outfit screams leather daddy who can only afford to shop at Kohl’s (seriously, what the fuck is that black vest with his grandma’s crocheted sweater over it?), he looks like he’s having an orgasm every time he talks directly to Matrix, and I swear he mentions John’s balls like three times in the final battle. ‘I’m not gonna shoot you between the eyes! I’m gonna shoot you between THE BALLS!’The part with Arnold and Yaphet Kotto fighting in the hotel room really does expose some weird-ass amateur porn movie being shot, as someone else commented in here. Only thing is, when Matrix and Yaphet bust in, both people are fucking under a blanket even though there’s a camera rolling. Why are you under a blanket if there’s a camera rolling? Oh, and yes, the woman is totally pegging the guy! What a weird choice for your typical schlocky ‘80s action movie.I think the mansion in the final battle might be the one from Beverly Hills Cop. Speaking of the final battle, it’s not really all that great. Arnie runs around shooting people for ten minutes and throws a couple grenades, but overall it’s pretty flat. Even the way he kills Dan Hedaya is boring – he just somersaults and shoots him with a shotgun that sounds like a goddamn piece of WWII artillery. I doubt the foley artists and sound designers were paid enough for working on this movie.Honestly I think the best fight is at the mall in the first third of the movie. Arnie swings from a long balloon or some shit and lands on top of the elevator, picks up a phone booth and throws it, fights off like twenty rent a cops, it’s pretty rad. I love seeing old ‘80s malls in movies. Look, a Shakey’s Pizza!Overall, I’ll give it like a B-. It was a lot more fun when I was a kid. Oh, and Rae Dawn Chong is so cute.
No one but a few of us remembers Shakey’s Pizza…! What’s up with that?
They’re all dumb dickheads. Their knowledge of mediocre mall pizza pales in comparison to ours.
The hotel room scene is maybe the weirdest twist on the 80’s action movie phenomenon of “Hero casually encounters nudity in the course of kicking ass”
It really is! Those gratuitous titty scenes don’t usually include some dude getting banged in the ass by owner of said titties.
I laughed so hard at just your first paragraph. You sir or madam, made my day.
So what you’re saying is when Matrix says, “…you want to put a knife in me and see what’s going on in there as you turn it.” that “knife” was a euphemism?
Yes.
I don’t think anything can beat “thanks for lending me a hand”, but I submit:“I’m just exercising my right to bear arms.”“Nothing wrong with a bit of ‘armless fun.”“If we want to hand our children a brighter future, we must stop pointing fingers and shoulder the burden of looking after our planet.”