Cap off Shark Week with a mathematical model of Stellan Skarsgård's Deep Blue Sea death scene
Aux Features Film
As always, the end of another year’s Shark Week is an opportunity to look back fondly on big toothy fish and the ridiculous ways in which our best-loved art and entertainment has run roughshod over natural science to make sharks seem even scarier than they already are.
No movie better fits this mold than 1999's Deep Blue Sea, a cinematic fever dream about an undersea laboratory that comes under attack by super-smart sharks whose brains have been messed with by a team of scientists. Though Samuel L. Jackson plays the character who gets the most memorable death, Movies, Films, & Flix’s Mark Hofmeyer makes a strong case that Stellan Skarsgård’s Dr. Jim Whitlock actually has the better end due to an “incredibly long death scene…that is equal parts terrifying, inventive, and funny.”
After mentioning how it all starts—Skarsgård getting his arm bitten off and prepared for evacuation—Hofmeyer gets into the spectacular conclusion of the attack, which sees the character’s medical gurney snapped up by a genius shark and “used as a battering ram” to break through a big underwater window into the lab. What’s most notable is that the entire thing, from the initial attack to the window-smashing, takes place over what seems like an extraordinarily long time.
Captivated by the mechanics of the scene, Hofmeyer gets into the nitty gritty of how it all worked. With the qualification that he’s analyzing “a fictitious moment in an insane film about genetically engineered sharks herding humans to their death” out of the way, Hofmeyer calculates how far Skarsgård, strapped to the gurney with an oxygen mask letting him breathe, spent being swum around by his fishy tormentor.
A true professional, Hofmeyer uses clues from the movie’s description of the underwater lab’s dimensions and external research on freight elevator and shark swimming speeds to map out the rest. He ends up determining that, by the time the movie’s “ridiculously fast” shark “got everything right and exploded to 60 MPH,” it’s likely that “the total estimated distance covered by Skarsgård is 5,959 feet or 1.12 miles.”
“That is impressive” he adds, unnecessarily.
Anyone interested in reading more (specifically architects designing future shark-proof research facilities) can check out Hofmeyer’s full article here. We can reasonably guarantee you won’t come across a more in-depth look into Stellan Skarsgård’s Deep Blue Sea death scene today.
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18 Comments
There was also a shitty direct-to-video sequel released last year that nobody wanted.
Play. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skipskipskip. End credits.** Me, watching Smart Shark 2
Fun fact: it originally appeared along with its 1999 predecessor intact under “deleted scenes” section.Fun fact 2: that was neither fun nor a fact :/
Oh yeah that movie was turrible (in my Cleveland voice).
Bah, I thought you were saying I could purchase a model of the scene rendered to mathematically exact specifications
I wish someone had a clip of the moment the shark popped up, grabbed the gurney, and pulled it underwater, because that must be pretty ridiculous, too.Also, how much did the gurney slow down before hitting the glass? Because somehow, Skarsgård survived that impact, as he is seen blinking in disbelief? Terror? Scientific curiosity? before the glass completely shatters.
The part that’ll really blow your mind is that Stellan Skarsgård is a method actor.
The part that will REALLY blow your mind is trying to figure out how a guy who looks like Stellan Skarsgård could produce a guy who looks like Alexander Skarsgård.
I’m still piecing it together, but from what can tell it involved a woman.
I don’t know, I think there’s a strong resemblance between them if you look at pictures of younger Stellan. They’ve also got shockingly similar facial expressions that you’ll notice if you watch a lot of either’s work.
Further proof of the family resemblance:
Ok then what’s Bill’s excuse? Isn’t he related to both of them? I don’t think Bill is as hot as Alexander, just my opinion.
Empirically, Alexander is the hottest Skarsgård, no doubt. I think it’s really interesting how different the four eldest Skarsgård brothers look. Like, there are definitely places where there is a resemblance, but they all look distinctly different. They’re all handsome in very different ways. It’s weird.
Oh yeah totally, I can see how handsome Bill is but I’m not attracted to him as say Alexander. Gustaf is handsome also in a very rugged kinda way. Definitely my type too. Lol.
Are you me? Are we the same person? Because Bill doesn’t do much for me, but Gustav is def my type and could totally eat crackers in my bed. Provided Alexander is unavailable, mind you.
Haha, great hormones think alike.
*Stellar Skateboard
To be fair, it’s not the first time he’s been used to destroy his underwater crew.