If nothing else, the ongoing, unstoppable deluge of Disney live-action remakes—a force so powerful that not even a global pandemic, and the near-complete shutdown of the planet’s theaters, has been able to blunt it—has forced us to expand our horizons for horror. Today, specifically, that means having a long, hard think about what a live-action Stitch from 2002's Lilo & Stitch might look like, in all his interacting-with-actual-human-beings glory. Would it be more or less horrifying than CGI Dumbo? We’re guessing more, but god, the possibilities really are endless.
This dip into the Madness Place was brought to us today by The Wrap, which reports that Disney is reportedly in early talks with Crazy Rich Asians director Jon M. Chu to direct a live-action/CGI hybrid version of the film that taught us all that “ohana” means “trapped forever, screaming, in the uncanny valley, while Kevin McDonald does schtick.” The film is currently being developed by the same production team that handled last year’s Aladdin remake, and would follow in the footsteps of the—Jesus, really?—13 live action remakes the company has released since 2010's Alice In Wonderland kicked off the trend.
THR first reported the rumor, noting that the film would probably end up landing at Disney+. Chu, meanwhile, remains a rising star in the directing world, courtesy of the massive success of Crazy Rich Asians—although his most recent film, the cinematic adaptation of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Quiara Alegría Hudes’ In The Heights, is one of any number of movies to find themselves shunted out of theaters by the COVID-19 crisis.
45 Comments
I want to fucking puke. Please someone release me from this hell. After Mulan’s poor reception I thought it might slow them down but clearly nothing will stop the Mouse’s reign of terror as they trample over every animated property I hold remotely dear.
Honestly, I’ve kinda detached my personal contempt for all these unnecessary and inferior live-action, crass disrespect to animated classics and sort of accepted that this is just business and Disney’s business is cranking out brand recognition money making machines, regardless of the quality.
I know that’s what I ultimately have to do but I just haven’t been able to make the mental detachment yet. Right now I’m just stuck in that “he can’t keep getting away with it!” gif/scene from Breaking Bad
I AM THE DISNEY
Willing to bet that Disney execs are blaming Mulan’s failure on COVID and not their own myriad of errors.
Covid-19 is doing a good job of knocking Disney down a peg. They didn’t even get to released one of their big movies in theaters this year.
I’m 100% behind this idea, provided Disney ditches the CGI, and instead uses the costumed Stitch in the header image. Actually, if they could commit entirely to the costumed medium, and have even the human characters played by people in elaborate fursuit style costumes of humans, I think we can all agree that no pandemic or other pending apocalypse would stop it from making 10 billion dollars.
I’m on board with that version.
I’d hope Disney could get whoever does the practical effect creatures for Star Wars since they own it.
Furries need representation too
Yes, its time to go full Sid and Marty Kroft.
BIG RED NO
Lilo & Stitch:Desperate Hombres
-A Quentin Tarantino Production
There is already a live action version, but it’s called Libido & Stick.
There’s also a live action version called E.T.
They had similar merchandise –
“Look, we just find the pictures, we don’t try to figure out why they exist.”You don’t?
The human in the picture is Gareth Gates, the runner-up on “Pop Idol” in 2002.
Catwoman made this happen.
This current crop of live action Disney films reminds me that ‘classic’ live action Disney films of the 1960s were such shit. I mean, has there ever been a worse film than ‘The Shaggy Dog’ or ‘Son of Flubber’? They make Ed Wood seem like an auteur film director in comparison. Disney has a decades long reputation for making atrociously shit movies. They seem to be written by corporate consultants, and worse ‘woke’ corporate consultants who don’t understand the fundamentals of storytelling. It was as though they followed a long checklist on Mulan for ‘How To Screw Up A Story’.
Ed Wood was an auteur. He just wasn’t a good one.
Buddy, you’ve every right to your opinions, but be warned: you’re getting very close to talking shit about “That Darn Cat”, and therein lies every kind of danger.
Also the original The Incredible Journey. Not that crappy remake where the animals talk.
One of the best jokes in Joe Dante’s Matinee is the brief glimpse of a Disney-esque comedy about a man transformed into a shopping cart.
Still waiting for a live action/photo realistic Finding Nemo
Sort of a combo of Predator and Critters?
I would so watch that! /said they nerd who owns both box sets.
I’m adding to it. Keep it a kid friendly type horror so have Danny Devito direct it. So Matilda meets Predator/Critter type being.
Get the Sonic cgi team to create Stitch, then make them do it better before they release a trailer.
Why not have Sonic play Stitch, with Knuckles in a duel role as those clumsy aliens that are chasing after him?
With a pinch of Gremlin thrown in for a little kick.
Stitch isn’t really that cute to begin with.
They don’t even have to re-cast Ving Rhames.
DISNEY! How does Lilo & Stitch get put before live action THE RESCUERS?!?! :O
Featuring Emma Stone as Nani!
For real though, I feel like the only reason to do this is so they can cast Auliʻi Cravalho as Nani.
Wasn’t this first announced something like two years ago? I suppose that John M Chu being attached to it is newsworthy, but still, it’s not like this remake was just announced today.Personally, I’m still waiting for Disney to announce an animated remake of a live-action film; The Black Hole seems like a natural for that treatment.
In no possible way would I watch this. It will not entice me to either theater or streaming service and I cannot see a future in which simply turning off the TV and finding something else to do would not be preferable to viewing it.That out of the way, the ‘uncanny valley’ would be the least of their concerns should they be smart about use. We react that way when the animation is trying to perfectly create something we know without quite reaching the goal – aliens should skip that nicely.
Uncanny Valley can still be a thing even with fictitious beings. See Mars Needs Moms or the first trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movies for proof. Although it is much less of a foregone conclusion when pulled off well.
I’m kinda surprised they didn’t consider ‘Moana’ first.
I think that’s too recent even for Disney. Lilo and Stitch is actually the most recent film that they’ve tried to remake thus far.
What about The Rescuers Down Under?
There has been exactly one of these “live action” remakes that was worth a damn and that was The Jungle Book, which was a mediocre movie to begin with. So remake The Black Cauldron or The Rescuers and leave genuinely awesome movies alone!
Maybe this is a pedantic argument, but is “Alice In Wonderland” really a remake, or is it just a new adaptation of the same source material? Honestly, I’m not sure if I’ve even ever seen the Tim Burton version but does it hew close enough to the elements unique to the animated film to be considered a remake? “Red Dragon” isn’t a remake of “Manhunter.” The Marky Mark “Planet of the Apes” isn’t a remake of the Charlton Heston “Planet of the Apes.” Though maybe some would argue they are. Stuff like “Beauty and the Beast” and “Cinderella” essentially recreate the animated versions shot for shot, so yes, they’re clearly remakes. Is the live action “Alice In Wonderland” close to the animated one to qualify?