Dr. Dre meets Mr. Bucket as Hasbro buys Death Row Records for some godforsaken reason
Aux Features Music
Although it’s fallen on some very hard times in more recent years (more about that in a second), Death Row Records was once one of the seminal labels in the world of West Coast hip-hop, introducing millions to the work of Dr. Dre, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, and many more. It would not be an exaggeration to say that the label—founded in 1991 by Dre, The D.O.C., and Suge Knight, out of the soon-to-be-wreckage of Eazy-E’s Ruthless—played a major role in shaping the sound of late-20th century music. And now, it’s owned by the same people who own Furby.
This is per Consequence Of Sound, which reports that, as of this week, Hasbro has finalized negotiations to acquire the content library of Canadian conglomerate Entertainment One. eOne, as it’s sometimes known, is one of those huge mass media companies that owns a whole heaping bunch of shit—including international distribution rights for The Walking Dead, production and distribution on Peppa Pig, and, courtesy of a series of bankruptcy hearings and auctions over the last 15 or so years, Death Row Records. (One suspects Hasbro was more excited about bringing Peppa under its roof.)
And look, we know: There’s not a chance in any kind of hell that Hasbro is ever going to do anything with these rights, outside of maybe—maybe—including a few Tupac bars in one of those new G.I. Joe movies they keep trying to make. This is, like so many stories of big business content acquisitions, really just a story about the ongoing and endless commodification of art into the hands of the moneyed and artless.
On the other hand, though, we would absolutely play a Dr. Dre-branded version of Operation, or mess around with Snoop Dogg’s Weed-ja board, or play the Who Killed Tupac? edition of Clue. (Okay, maybe not that last one.) Let us have our dreams, please; at this point, companies like Hasbro own pretty much everything else.
43 Comments
While the Trent Reznor Pixar movie is fun, but weird news and now this and you know everything else. I’m dead aren’t I and this isn’t what’s actually occurring in reality is it?
GOSH-FORKING-DARN IT!!!! *snaps fingers to reboot*
We all know Hasbro bought eOne because of Trailer Park Boys….
I feel like big corporations today are scrambling to buy whatever they can before Disney does. Sometimes you gotta make unconventional decisions and take the bad with the good.
Well, Hasbro has the master toy license for Disney’s biggest properties (Marvel, Princesses, Star Wars, and Toy Story). They’ve also been plagued by financial troubles. So, of course, there’s been rumblings that Disney has looked into buying them out.
Ahhh, smart maneuver then. Hasbro is just buying up a bunch of junk so they can unload it on Disney when Disney eventually buys them out.
Maybe…..
Hasbro, founded by three Polish Jewish brothers named Hassenfeld
-hence the name Hasbro, felt it was time that the public should be
aware that ‘We have Bro, Motherfuckers – We Hasbro.’.
.
..
I’ll just see myself out.
Earth’s flat, too, I hear. 😉
Hasbro gonna do with death row make action figures of suge knight?
Yeah, but he’s going to be a Build-a-Figure. You have to buy the whole set to get Suge.
Ain’t no party like a G.I. joe Party~
Clue-pac?
It’s a speculative conspiracy game.
Shoots and Ladders
Shoots and Drive Bys. Operation could be about removing different bullets instead things like the funny bone or buttery fly. You could call it Slugs. Plus think of the crossovers that will happen. Dr Dre showing up on Peppa Pig or Snoop Dog on G.I. Joe. His Joe name could be papers.
Tupac in Barbados with Elvis Presley.
I just threw up.
Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not kill Biggie. Do not collect $200.
“…really just a story about the ongoing and endless commodification of art into the hands of the moneyed and artless.”Bit of an overstatement, don’t ya think?
Hasbro is the label that pays me.
“All three are in. I win!” “That’s MY motherfuckin’ balls, you better let go of ‘em!”
In related news, the next version of the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary is expected to require a Parental Advisory label.
“for some god forsaken reason”Thats just fucking stupid. Maybe don’t dig back into your time as a high school newsletter editor for inspiration.
How is it that Dr. Dre somehow looks younger than Jay-Z?
At last, the My Little Pony mane six can do “Gin & Juice” the way it deserves to ge done.
My little homie
I’m looking forward to the Suge Knight pickup truck Transformer. All the kids will love playing with Hit’N’Run.
Spitting rhymes is the right of every sentient being.
Spittin’ rhymes, doin’ crimes, and servin’ time!
I’m imagining the Hasbro executive suite realizing that they have made a terrible decision when Suge Knight calls into the next quarterly earnings teleconference from his prison cell.
Death Row finally ran out of appeals…No bueno.
Can’t wait for the next version of the Speak and Spell.
Dr. Drestro
Hasbro is evil.Not Monsanto or Exxon level evil but evil none the less.
What the hell is a Mr. Bucket.
You must be dumb if you dont k ow why they bought it.. Tupac songs will always make money.. Old Dre will always make money.. I still hear ICE ICE BABY on the radio.. All of that is money in there pocket.. This was a smart move.. They should release a new compilation to bring in the bucks..
Hasbro also now has rights to a couple of High on Fire records too as they were signed to eOne for a couple of releases.
there all is aching?
Bright side: finally, we can have that 5th edition D&D 20th level Tupac Build.
(scrolls for “balls pop outta my mouth”….FINE)Dr. Dre was so shocked, balls popped out of his mouth.
Who’s who in the picture above?
Will somebody please remix the Mr. Bucket song into a hip hop beat?