The girls are fighting on The Golden Bachelor

Well, we all knew this was bound to happen eventually.

After two episodes of unprecedented mutual respect and genuine vulnerability, the Golden Bachelor mansion has begun to implode. It’s an icky and uncomfortable reminder that at the end of the day, this is still a show under the purview of notoriously exploitative producers who want to milk as much drama as possible out of their charges, all while they put themselves out there looking for love. And these women—and one man—are really looking for love. Many, many hearts are about to be broken in a way that no influx of Instagram followers or Revolve sponsorship will ever be able to fix. But more on that later.

First, it’s talent show time, baby! The episode starts with a quick cutaway shot of our dear golden bachelor Gerry quietly weeping in the garden—a neat little reminder of what this show is doing to its contestants. But no time to interrogate that! We quickly move on to the episode’s whole-house group date: a talent show hosted by Bachelor Nation alum Kaitlyn Bristowe.

“I think it’s gonna be a whole bunch of fun,” Gerry predicts, and he’s right. It is fun! Sandra tells a dirty joke. Kathy does pushups (she’s 70!). Leslie really thinks she has it in the bag with an exuberant lap dance, but it’s Joan who wins the day (and a romantic dinner with her man) in the end with an original poem titled “I Hope I Don’t Vomit On Your Shoes” that makes Gerry cry, again.

Here’s another thing that’s become a bit of a pattern: talking about dead spouses. Joan and Gerry clasp hands and talk about how hard it was to move on and re-enter the dating scene after losing their respective partners. They both cry. Gerry tells Joan that he’s “as excited to be spending time with [her] as [he’s] ever been with anyone.” He gives her a rose. He seems—as he’s seemed with everyone else he’s had 1-on-1 time with—to be genuinely falling in love with her.

This is where things take a turn. The morning after Joan’s date, Gerry “feels like a million bucks” but Joan… does not. She tearily reveals that she’s received a text from her daughter who had a difficult birth 15 days ago (!), and she needs to go home and be a mom to her daughter. After more tears and lots of hugs with the girls, she bemoans her “selfishness” in coming on the show. Gerry cries in the way the 20-somethings do when saying goodbye before selecting their top two. Quick reminder: it’s only episode three! It’s going be a very long road for poor Gerry, who clearly needed kindred spirits to talk about these important and emotional topics with, but probably should have found that through a different hobby or support group that doesn’t involve falling in deep and genuine love with 22 equally vulnerable women who all deserve better than having their hopes and fears exploited for “representation” and a buck.

Ellen and Gerry then embark on their 1-on-1. It’s fine. Ellen wears a pretty dress and gets a rose. Good for her!

But we must, unfortunately, move on to the main event of the episode: the fight between Kathy and last week’s lucky 1-on-1, Theresa. Kathy thinks Theresa is being cocky and mean, that she’s rubbing her connection with Gerry in everyone else’s face and that she needs to generally shut her mouth and maybe wear less tiny clothes. Theresa just seems like she has a crush on Gerry and wants to talk about how great he is. Kathy proceeds to use her time with Gerry to send (anonymous) shots in Theresa’s direction, before confronting her and leaving Theresa rightfully distraught over a feud she had no idea she was a part of in the first place. (This woman is hardly a standard reality show villain.) Gerry, blissfully unaware of the politics of the show, comes to comfort her in her room following the outburst, which of course only makes things worse. They both get a rose (farewell to Edith and Christina) so the whole thing remains unresolved.

Watching 20-something wannabe influencers perpetuate this kind of drama may be a fun if a little bit guilty pleasure, but it loses its sheen quick when it involves grown women with families and full lives who really are looking for a second chance at love. The Golden Bachelor feels heavier now, and it’s only going to get worse from here on out. We can only hope the women and Gerry are ready.

Stream The Golden Bachelor now on Hulu.