Famously endearing grumpy-man Harrison Ford is teaming up with Ed Helms to star in a comedy about a couple of guys who form an unlikely friendship after a shipwreck leaves them stranded together—and also it’s based on a true story. What a collection of words and people! But wait, there’s more! According to a report from The Wrap, the most important and maybe only thing you actually need to know about this movie is that Harrison Ford will play an “unhinged sea captain.” Is the title of this movie important? NOT AT ALL, but we should probably include it anyway or someone will be annoyed. It’s called The Miserable Adventures Of Burt Squire Aboard The Horn High Yo. Two quick notes: One, this definitely sounds like an Ed Helms joint. And two, they should absolutely change that title.
BUT BACK TO THE UNHINGED SEA CAPTAIN. This movie sounds like it has all the makings of being the version of The Lighthouse your dad wanted to see, give or take one Robert De Niro. It’s about a family man—a dad, if you will—who is experiencing a midlife crisis (dad catnip), so he decides to head off on his dream sailing (BOATS. DADS LOVE FUCKIN’ BOATS) adventure and becomes shipwrecked in the middle of the Atlantic (like Cast Away, which dads also fuckin’ love) with a “charming but unhinged sea captain” played by Harrison Ford, a man who decided to get his ear pierced after day-drinking with Jimmy Buffett—which makes him something of an expert on “charming but unhinged.”
Great day for dads!
33 Comments
Ugh, season 9 of The Office gave me enough of Ed Helms and boats, thanks. Although ‘grumpy sea captain’ does sound like the kind of role that Harrison Ford could sleepwalk through and seem fun instead of depressingly unengaged.
I was thinking that this reads like someone turned Andy’s time at sea into a movie treatment.
what
Give me a high/low estimate on how many mermaids Harrison Ford’s character is going to copulate with.
Gotta be honest, “unhinged sea captain” is a phrase that pretty much immediately brings Harrison Ford (with a beard of course) to mind.
It must be nice living in a world in which Russell Crow doesn’t exist.
It must be nice living in a world in which anyone would ever trust Russell Crowe to captain a ship…
The sea is a big place!
Russell Crow already had his chance in Master and Commander (and South Park).
He’s more of an unhinged pilot, who both as Indy and in real life, can “fly yes, land no”.
Harrison Ford will play an “unhinged sea captain.”
Indiana Skull-and-Crossbones
Let’s just take this to its logical conclusion; keep Ed Helms as a shipwreck survivor but change Harrison Ford’s character to be a grumpy old curmudgeon who crash lands his private plane on the island after mistaking it for a public golf course.
Harrison Ford already made this movie with ‘Six Days Seven Nights’ but this one sounds like it will have more romantic chemistry.
In ‘Six Days Seven Nights’ he was a pilot. Repeat: pilot. Not a sea captain!
One, this definitely sounds like an Ed Helms joint.
Pass.
I’m choosing to ignore this movie’s existence and instead remind people that Ted Lasso is a thing and you need to watch it.
“Ed Helms to ruin another movie. WHY DOES HE KEEP GETTING WORK?!?”
Fixed.
Does anyone really like Ed Helms? The guy is so agressively mediocre that even movies that could be funny or entertaining, his presence ruins them.
He coordinated this fantastic version of “The Weight” (no easy feat), so I’m forever thankful.
Okay, mind changed. I will love him forever and ever. Damn I love that song.
I like Ed Helms. He’s perfectly cast in the IMO underrated Cedar Rapids.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home as well IMO
He was surprisingly, effectively, creepy as an amoral (but also funny) drug lord in WE’RE THE MILLERS.
Eh, he’s okay. Not the greatest of all time, but not as awful as the hatedom around him would have you believe either. A bit over-exposed for a time there perhaps, but fine in small doses.I’ll always have a soft spot for him for his segment on the Daily Show about Dick Cheney shooting a guy “in what can only be described as… his face”.
This sounds awful, but the title is actually refreshing in its verbosity. Why change it? If they did you know it would be to something lamely generic like Wrecked. That would be way worse.
Wait, so who was The Lighthouse for then?
So which one will be fucking the mattress?
I ALREADY SAIL AROUND THE WORLD!!!
I misread the headline as Ed Harris, became interested, clicked, and then was disappointed when I saw Ed Helms pop up.Whatever, I’ll still probably see it.
Wait, THE LIGHTHOUSE -wasn’t- for dads?
This is just The Mosquito Coast with different CGI! They do this every 38 years. Next time it will be Working Girl!