Hayley Williams apologizes for calling out fans at her show
Hayley Williams of Paramore wrote a thoughtful (and regretful) reflection after publicly shaming fans at a New York show
Aux News Hayley Williams
Hayley Williams of Paramore has shared some belated thoughts on evicting a pair of fans from the band’s Madison Square Garden show on May 30. After Williams noticed a disruption in the crowd, she stopped singing, telling the fans, “Yes, I will embarrass both of you… Both of you need to find somewhere else to take care of that shit because that’s not happening here.” Days later, Williams posted on Paramore’s Discord server expressing regrets about how she handled the situation.
Williams wrote that she hadn’t fully processed the moment, but said of reacting in real-time, “Without the opportunity for a proper back and forth (and with a looming, strict show-curfew in the back of my mind), I bared my teeth like a mother wolf. I embarrassed the hell out of these two people, without truly knowing what the situation was. Then, as a group—all 25,000 of us or so—exiled these people from the show in record time.”
The singer shared her concerns that she’d abused her responsibility and “hurt those two in a way that will outlast the momentary discomfort of poor concert etiquette.” She wrote, “When I saw their faces in the video, I didn’t see the smug smiles that some commenters criticized them for. I saw embarrassment and I cried for them. I’m telling you, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. So, if you are those two people… I am sorry for whatever shame or embarrassment I may have caused you. I’m not telling you that it’s perfectly fine to act entitled or ignorant at a show.”
Williams recalled her own days as a fan attending hardcore shows and how different the environment could be, but argued that concerts have evolved. “I’m really not even saying I think there is a ‘right’ or a ‘wrong’ way here. I’m just saying that I’m sorry that I handled the whole situation like the arbiter of the same type of cancel culture that doesn’t often teach or lead in any productive way,” she said.
“I hate that there isn’t always a simple answer to even the world’s silliest problems. A ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ bin to use for clean up. I hate that the only thing I really know to say to people I deem racist or bigoted in any way is ‘you’re dead to me’ when I know that message isn’t the kind that’s going to change a hateful heart,” she wrote, referencing another call-out at a concert where she denounced Ron DeSantis supporters. “How can I feel soft and tragic about it in one moment and ragey and rigid the next? Because that’s human.”
Williams concluded her thoughtful reflection by opining that public shaming (at least in this case) probably wasn’t going to change anyone’s ways, and imploring fans to behave respectfully at shows. “I don’t want us to have to stop a show for physical aggression ever again,” she wrote, nevertheless adding, “Rest assured, I will still have a person removed if necessary. I’ll just try with all my heart not to make it seem like some biblical era public execution next time.”
143 Comments
Must be chilly on that stage.
I’m sorry, but do you have flat nipples?
There’s only one way you’re going to find out.
Hopefully it involves your autopsy.
You’re my hero.
You mean “no-topsy”
Yes! Thank you for noticing. I just had them done and…oh. you were talking to the Caffeine Spider.
Substantially flatter than that and capable of being restrained by clothing, yes.
You’ll perhaps be surprised to learn that everyone’s nipples aren’t the same. Some people’s nipples protrude all the time. There’s nothing wrong with that. Nearly everyone has nipples. There’s no reason we need to act surprised or offended when we have visual confirmation of that fact.
What offense do you feel I’ve taken? High beams often = chilly. Not judging.
The “capable of being restrained by clothing” sounded censorious, but perhaps I mistook the intended tone.It might not be meant to be judgmental, but it’s definitely indecorous to comment on it. Women shouldn’t have to “restrain” their nipples, but they often feel they need to in order to avoid leering comments like that.Also, the reason male runners get nipple chafe is because their protruding nipples rub against the fabric of their shirts, and they’re definitely not chilly at mile 15 of a marathon.
I think you’re reading way too much into what’s been a common (and yes entirely juvenile) joke for decades. The dress she’s wearing hardly looks gauzy, thus my “capable of being restrained” comment. See also: Friends.
Do “common,” “juvenile,” and longstanding somehow in combination mean something can’t be inappropriate?“The dress she’s wearing hardly looks gauzy, thus my ‘capable of being restrained’ comment.”I don’t understand this connection either. Sometimes nipples show through non-gauzy fabric. It’s a thin t-shirt. Nipples can show.“See also: Friends.”I don’t know what this means. I didn’t really watch Friends regularly.
“common (and yes entirely juvenile)“- The Caffeine Spider!
You’d be amazed at how even with a bra nipples sometimes poke out. Shit happens. Cope.
Not even in 90 degree weather. Not my fault. Lasers. Right now. Worse since you brought it up.
All three of ‘em?
He’s got 8 of them. That’s how spider bodies work, right?
My spider body works. All day every day!
My takeaway as well.
I am so confused; a singer is well within their rights to halt a show and call for unruly audience members to be tossed. Even the apology indicates their behavior was poor. She’s overthinking this.
Yeah I think she was just being too nice/too worried about getting controversy – halting the show to stop people from being aggressive and pushing is generally a good idea, it helps avoid Astroworld situations
Did you watch the video? Looked like two kids trying to get close to the stage to see a band they love (god only knows why they’d choose this band but whatever). She acted like a total asshole, knowing nothing of the situation, but getting the mob to scream at and shame them. Really nice use of her platform. An apology is the least she could do.
Then you show up early and get a spot close to the stage. You don’t go pushing your way through a crowd because you were too lazy to show up early. Sucks to suck and they deserved to embarrassed.
Why do they deserve that? Serious question, have you ever been to a show? People push. If it’s not seated, people are going to try to get as close as they can. People ALSO go to the bathroom during shows and then try to get back up to their friends, so they may need to push through the crowd. I hate that, so I stay in areas more accessible to bathrooms and the bar, but I wouldn’t act like an ass and blast some kids who just wanna see the show. You guys are super soft. Maybe that’s why you like Paramore.
Been to plenty of shows and even in the pit. People don’t just shove their way through the crowd when there’s no space to do so. Take advantage of holes opening up? Sure. Just push through, not a chance.
Right, pits have etiquette. StAy HoMe, though, kid!
Oh sure they do. I’ve seen plenty of drunken idiots get all fired up and try to make their way to the stage during the second half. I’ve had no problem pushing them back.
lol sure they don’t.
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just watch the video
Cause that’s how shows with no assigned seating work! If you don’t get there early, you have to stay in the back and never move anywhere closer to the stage. It’s a rule everyone knows and almost everyone abides. You’re also not allowed to go to the bathroom if you’re up front because you might have to push past people to do so.
You’re being disingenuous about what those people were doing. They were being rude and pushy and disruptive.
They were kids who were excited to see this shitty band for some reason. The crowd was shoving them as they were trying to get close and it looked like they shoved back. They looked annoying, but her behavior was total mob mentality, without having any clue what was going on. I’m sure you guys have never been to a real punk rock show and you surely should stay home. I’ve had people stomp on my head running across the top of the crowd before. I don’t like it, but it’s a rock show, it’s not seated, and people like to get close. Keep clutching your pearls and stay home.
The whole “they’re just kids” tone you have excusing them pushing people is very much at odds with your “you’re at a rock show” mentality when it comes to their motivations for being dicks and having no concern for those around them. Being “at a rock show” you should very much expect to be embarrassed if the people around you/the band are annoyed enough by your behavior to call you out. Especially at a “rock show” like milquetoast Paramore ffs. Context matters. You dont just get away with that shit surrounded by a bunch of moms near 40 like you do at a “hardcore” show like Hailey talks about. If they’re such huge fans of rock or punk or whatever, they’d surely know that, as its a practice that has existed for literally ever at rock shows.
They’ll get over it. This apology isn’t necessary in the slightest.
You sound hilariously naive. Stay home kiddo.
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
Dudes a troll… you can tell just by the username.
lol a lot of people in these comments are really into pearl clutching and talking shit online.
Having just logged back in to see your further comments, I have to say LOL at you accusing people of “pearl clutching” while also vehemently defending something like kids being “embarrassed” like its some scarlet letter that is gonna haunt them for the rest of their days lol.
In reality, this was all fairly mild nonsense and everyone has already forgotten, including the kids that were so brutally embarrassed, I assure you.
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
Take your “shitty band” comment and go to see Nickleback. Sounds more like your style.
It was a stadium show. For Paramore. Even if anyone gave a shit about your punk credentials, they’re irrelevant. And let’s not get started on the fact that you’re cool with somebody stomping on your head because that’s just the way shit is, but you’re also accusing other people of “mob mentality.” It drives me nuts when people say “punk” when they mean “aggro bullshit.”
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
I saw the video. Go to enough shows and you know the huge gulf between making your way to the front and pushing through people to take their place at the front. The people around those kids were clearly annoyed and upset; people can get really fucked up in a crowd press (without the situation even going full Travis Scott). Kudos to any musician who’s going to pause their set to make sure the pit is civil.
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
Idk, I saw a video as well, and I have yet to see a “fight”, there was certainly annoyance and some yelling, but it looks like an overreaction from the crowd. Still it’s her show and she can dictate the level of tolerance for behavior.
what she did was put a target on some kids in front of 20k screaming morons who hang on her every word. dont be dumb.
…20k screaming fans who did what, tear them limb from limb? Don’t be hysterical.(Still seething about this one three weeks later, huh?)
i dont spend all day typing online so i just saw this and yeah wanted to tell you that you’re dumb. hysterical is acting like two teenage kids pushing through some people is some huge assault that needed to be called out from some celeb on stage.
Did you get hit on the head since you last logged in? You truly are the last person on earth to not get over this thing.
As someone who’s been to a fair bit of concerts, there are very few people more obnoxious and annoying and deserving of getting kicked out than the pushy assholes who think they can just bowl people over to get a better spot than someone else that they think they deserve.
“Unruly” seems a little harsh to describe behavior that happens at pretty much every show, ever (someone wants to get closer and pushes their way through). I didn’t see anyone throwing punches or doing anything that could cause harm in that clip.
I was literally about to comment “I’m so confused.” People were fighting and she told them to leave. I don’t know how she could have done that differently? I guess quietly told security to remove them rather than saying it from the stage? Idk. I’m glad she’s reflective and thoughtful about her actions and that’s great, but this doesn’t really seem that bad to me. She didn’t call them names or anything. The people who “embarrassed them” are the ones who chose to post the video online. That wasn’t necessary.
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
I think she’s precisely and carefully thinking it.
My read on it was she’s apologizing for calling them out and humiliating them, not for the ejection itself. She thinks she could have handled it better, and that probably is overthinking it, but I can see how she’s come to that conclusion.That said, as someone who’s never been to that type of concert, I don’t know if there are less humiliating ways to eject unruly fans. If there aren’t, then she’s waaaay overthinking it.
“She’s overthinking this.”See: Gen Z
Shes not Gen Z though, Shes firmly in the millennial camp at 34. The bands been famous since the early 2000’s when she was 16.
She was born in 1988. She’s right down the middle Millenial.
Yeah even the background. I’ve been to plenty of hardcore shows with plenty of violence, but even going back decades I remember most bands would stop if they noticed someone in distress or a girl being groped. Even in the pit or crowd surfing, if someone fell down, others would shield them from being stepped on and help them up. There was no room for opportunistic groping and if You tried it there were a bunch of big people ready to beat You up.
I don’t know who this person is, but she seems like a mentally healthy person. Good for her.
Nope:“I handled the whole situation like the arbiter of the same type of cancel culture that doesn’t often teach or lead in any productive way,” she said.
What exactly was this disruption?
They got mixed up and were partying all night and rock ‘n rolling during the day.
They also didn’t seem to love it loud. They liked it loud, but nothing more.
There’s was only hotter than purgatory.
A couple of people were pushing their way towards the stage fairly aggressively. Not the worst transgression at a concert, but definitely very annoying and it was enough of a hubbub that she noticed it from the stage.
Well that can’t be right, Travis Scott said there was no way that a performer on stage could see something happening in the crowd, even if it was multiple people being trampled to death and ambulances being brought in.
She’s over thinking it. A couple people discovered their actions have consequences; they should be thanking her.
Also, she should stand by her guns regarding DeSantis. Some people are too far gone for their “hateful heart” to be changed.
they were trying to get close to the stage. guess you’ve never been to a show before?
I’m genuinely confused by this whole thing. How else are you supposed to get to the stage at a show? Or are you just supposed to stand in one spot and nod your head respectfully now?
Then you show up early and get a spot close to the stage. You don’t go pushing your way through a crowd because you were too lazy to show up early. Sucks to suck and they deserved to embarrassed.
“How else are you supposed to get to the stage at a show?”Get there early.
Show up early or stay where you are.
So then people should mostly just not move at shows. Cool.
You think people are SUPPOSED to just push and shove everyone out of the way who get there and secured their place before them? You think that’s the right behavior? People who want to get a good spot show up early. Otherwise you have to be further away. That’s concert etiquette. If you think shoving people out of the way to get the best spot is acceptable, I guarantee you’ve been the asshole everyone hates at every show you’ve been to.
We’ve obviously been to very different shows, is all I’ll say.
Nah, you’ve just been that person at every show.
I shall be sure that the next mosh pit I’m in, I ensure I make no physical contact with anybody around me just respectfully click my fingers in time to the music in appreciation.
This is a Paramore concert, with two individuals trying to shove their way forward for a better view, despite everyone else who was already there.This isn’t some mosh pit at a hardcore show where everyone is raging. You can’t possibly be trying to equate the two.
That’s like responding to someone saying that rape is bad with “Oh, next time I’m on a date with a woman, I’ll be sure to not engage in any sexual behavior.” Does the concepts of “consent” and “context” mean nothing to you? I guess if anyone objects to the Punch-Out Game, they must think boxing should be outlawed.
Girls used to wet themselves for the Beatles and the Stones. At least they’ve evolved beyond that.
Crazy idea but you could try getting there earlier.Nah you take priority obviously,fuck everyone else.
Duh, show up early.
I’m genuinely confused by your confusion. This is like asking “Hey, if I get to a store, and what I want is already sold out, what else am I supposed to do other than beat someone up and take it from them?” If someone else is already at the stage, why do you have any more right than them to be there? Why do you have the right to shove them out of the way? That’s assault. You do realize that on average, around a dozen people die each year because of this sort of shit?
I have, and people like you make it absolutely horrible
Oh-KAY punk-boi, we get it. You have the most-est hardest-of-the-hardcore cred. None of us are worthy to rock in your pit. I’ll just slink off to the Neil Diamond tribute, if it’s ok with you.
oh its the fuckboy who spends all his time writing shit on the internet. your life’s work is really cool. talk talk talk.
I mentioned the Neil Diamond tribute, didn’t I?
When I want to get close to the stage, I get to the venue early so I can stake out a spot when the doors open. If there are already a ton of people occupying that space when I arrive, I stand somewhere else. Shoving your way forward is selfish asshole behavior.
so you’ve never been to a lot of types of shows, then. there’s a lot of annoying shit about live shows. if you can’t handle people in your personal space, the GA floor at a concert is not your place my dude. stay on the internet!
I’ve been to shows where people in the mosh pit showed a lot more consideration for each other than the folks who arrived late and tried to shove their way to the front.
When I saw this article I thought it was going to be apologizing for the Orlando show and Fuck DeSantis stuff. Thank god it’s not, I would have been sad to see her walk that back.
Lol their actions have consequences? Clearly you are just a headline guzzler because if you watch the video they weren’t doing anything that deserved to be embarrassed and thrown out like they were.
Yeah, this incident seems to be dividing the “show up early and get a good spot” crowd from the “show up late and shove everyone out of the way to get to the front” crowd.Fuck the latter group.
It’s also possible to slide closer to the stage as gaps appear in the crowd; the people in the video are body-checking their way to the front.
Yeah, as someone who has waited like 6 hours in line to be in the front row for a big show, and had people try to pick fights with me to get my spot…..screw these losers.
15 years ago or so I went to one-day festival (I guess?) where there was a guy being a dick about pushing his way towards the front of the crowd. Everybody kinda just let him do it because it wasn’t worth it but then right before the last band came on some really stoned guy pushed right up in front of this same guy AND put his arms on his head with his elbows way out so now the dick couldn’t see anything.He started shouting at the stoned guy who turned right around, got right in his face and yelled “WHAT DO YOU WANT” in the guy’s face and that dude just immediately shrank and backed away. It was a great bit of karmic justice.
they werent pushing to the front, he was trying to get his friend who
had got moved forward in the mosh. its not fucking rocket science just
watch the video
Why the spotlighting though? All the lights were suddenly on them, and instead of just removing them, it’s full-on scapegoating. Why not just have them removed without all the theatrics and language?
I think she did exactly the right thing that night. I love when bands call people out for shitty behavior. If you’re going to go to a concert to be overly aggressive and violent, you deserve to be embarrassed. She didn’t need to apologize at all.
This is ridiculous. Can you imagine Fugazi ever apologizing for telling fans to stop being disruptive to their fellow audience members? If you don’t want to get called out/embarrassed, don’t act like a rude jackass.
Ya, but when I imagine Fugazi, I don’t think of a band that even distantly resembles Paramore.
Being a band that cares about everyone feeling safe and having a good time is a worthy goal for any act. Telling fans to respect each others space (especially in such cramped quarters) is always a positive action. It’s pathetic that anyone expected her to apologize.
I’m just saying that Fugazi was a band with real morals that was a big part of their identity. Paramore is not that, so the comparison is bizarre.
It’s a comparison between punk influenced bands having fairly similar initial responses to entitled shithead behavior.
Punk influenced, maybe, but one is the real deal, and the other is watered down.
Ohhhhhhh my God are we still doing this punk pedantry bullshit in 2023? Jesus Christ.
We are definitely doing punk pedantry in this particular instance. You can’t compare Fugazi, one of the most DIY anti-corporate punk acts of all time to Paramore. They are not the same thing. A hardcore band from the 80’s in not going to act the same way an emo band from the 00’s is. They’re so far apart they’re like chimps and gorillas.
You’re right. Paramore started the same way and then was infinitely more successful at it. That’s about the only difference.Oh, and Paramore started as teens, Ian MacKaye was…6 years younger than Hayley Williams is now when he started Fugazi.
I don’t know whether to take what you’re saying seriously or not. They definitely didn’t start the same way. MacKaye came up in the DC hardcore scene, founded a hugely influential record label, kept independent the whole time. Hayley is a homeschooled, vocal lessons, major label pop star. There is a difference between these two people and these two bands. I don’t think it’s pedantry to point this out. We’re not comparing Minor Threat and Bad Brains here. We’re not comparing Fallout Boy and Jimmy Eat World.
“ Fugazi was a band with real morals that was a big part of their identity. Paramore is not that, so the comparison is bizarre.”But Paramore IS that and kind of always has been. That was what you were originally saying. And then you tried to move the goalposts to “well they’re not my special perfect brand of DIY so they’re not real punk” as if that EVEN matters. People like you are why bands like Paramore sprint away from their roots as quickly as possible, because of shit like this.
I didn’t move the goalposts. When I said real morals I was referring to the fact that Fugazi were not corporate whores. They never sold out to a major label, they kept show prices ridiculously low, they didn’t sell merchandise. They protected their fans interests to an astonishing degree, and throwing people out of concerts for being too violent was a part of that. They never apologized for it, but at the same time they offered refunds to the ejected fans. These two bands operate at completely different levels.If Paramore is moving away from “their roots” it’s not because of guys like me. It’s because their roots don’t go as deep as you think they do.
Yes and I said the latter should be better. What exactly are you debating?
I agree they should be better, but I don’t expect Paramore to act like Fugazi.
That’s nice and everything but I still prefer this.https://www.avclub.com/great-job-internet-neko-case-will-pummel-your-fuckin-1798220542
Fugazi never apologized for tossing shitbirds out of their shows for getting violent/moshing/crowd-killing. I miss those days.
Fugazi never said “Drive safely!” at the conclusion of their last encore.
Henry Rollins (Rollins Band days, not Black Flag) used to just grab a belt-loop and chuck folks who got up on the stage to the side where the bouncers waited to remove them from the show. “Nobody is here so you can keep jumping on their heads over and over again” — and woe to the stage diver who accidentally bumped into Hank while up there.
The other fans at the concert acting so shocked and outraged that someone was trying to get closer to the stage were the problem. They to me were the entitled ones who couldn’t believe that someone would dare try and move past them in a crowded arena. She should have apologized.
Any word on what the fuck the two attendees are supposed to have done? Just aggro moshing, or what?
Dave Grohl hates mosh pits and will call them out if someone tries to start shit at a concert. So if that is what Williams thought she saw about to happen then trying to put an end to it was the right thing to do.
Funny how someone can write an entire piece on this and not mention that, isn’t it?Apparently they think everyone has time to watch the videos or research the incident for themselves. Real value-added work, here.
Yeah, not trying to be a dick, but maybe toss a sentence in there.
“Aggro Moshing”…
…at a PARAMORE show?!?
I’ve seen that shit at jam band shows, man. People are idiots.
She doesn’t have to apologize for calling out DeathSantis or MAGAats or any of those scumbags.Now if it was a couple of fans acting like jerks, then maybe an apology is in order? Don’t know.
As a society we’re too addicted to apologies right now.
I’m sorry.
The entire population of Canada would like to say that they are sorry too.
Hot bod, terrible music.
But enough about your mom.
Nah, my Mom has a great voice but is fat as fuck.
Why is she apologizing to idiots.
This is probably weird and will sound wrong, but I think we’ve been in an era of deconstruction and this is what it looks like when someone attempts reconstruction. How do you categorize behavior? How do you respond? If you have to pit you ethics against each other, which one wins? It’s not so simple if the structure is gone.Also, there’s a Misery Business pun in there somewhere, right? She handled business by putting the disruptive audience members into misery through public humiliation? And that’s a song she has a complicated relationship with, just like this incident? Eh, you get it.
FYI:
The Dr Emilio Lizardo (account:
paging-doctor-parody) imposter account
posting here in this thread is NOT the
long-established account user known
in the Giz family.
The
shriveled-soul imposter
has several accounts being used to
harass Kinja users, by posting sexist,
racist and other vileness here , but
primarily on The Root and on Jezebel,
trying to discredit the actual,
long-established account users.If the real Dr Emilio does post here, it’ll be account: dremiliolizardo and won’t be racist.
She should instead apologize for her shitty music.
her nipples though…
Remember when Gwar would shit on people at their shows…….we need to bring that back.
I don’t tend to apologize when I need to be the “find out” vector for someone fucking around, but I don’t have a problem with her feeling bad about it.
Or I dunno, go to a show that has assigned seating so you’re not in danger of being crushed by an idiotic crowd.