Here come the nightmare eels, swarming a wet pizza like worms into a corpse
Aux Features Pizza time!The eels have always been waiting for the pizza to arrive, but they have never been patient about it. They chitter wetly in the brackish water, anticipating the moment when at last they will be fed, and here it comes! An 8-inch oven pizza tossed into their midst. They sink their rows of jagged, needle-like teeth into it, but that is the least of the pizza’s worries. Imagine a journey down that digestive tract.
The hardest part of the video to watch is the way the eel on the far left first drags the pizza inward, then chomps all the way through it and into the other side of the eel-pile. The second hardest part of the video to watch is the end, when the pizza is gone, and you can just see the eels swarming over one another. They are hungry!
The eel video is not new. It has been around since at least June 2018, when it appeared, in even longer and more terrifying form, on Reddit. You can watch it there. You can watch most things there; it’s Reddit. And yet the video of eels eating pizza is back, because there is a new tweet about it, and it is lunchtime on the internet, where there is always the promise of a new pizza being tossed into the lake. Let’s say you are an eel: Are you not going to eat the free pizza?
When you watch the eel video enough times, though, it actually starts to feel sad. Think of all those eels who didn’t get a single bite of pizza!
31 Comments
So, is this how we should be disposing our 8 in. pizzas now, or…?
these guys are really eel mannered
Actually, I think they’re quite well-eeled.
Do they shriek?
No they learn that when they get bigger.
Well, you can just rock me to sleep tonight.
Feeding your pet eels whole pizzas? That’s a moray!
Brilliant
I had a tshirt in jr high that had an eel on it and said ‘that’s a moray’. I thought it was funny when i saw it in the store but (probably fortunately for me) never wore it even once.
now I’ve got this song stuck on my mind but now I’m thinking of Dewey Cox, and that’s always a good thing 🙂
It’s a big fucken snake,That steals all your bait,That’s a a moraaaaay! – Traditional Australian fishing song.
…They chitter wetly in the brackish water…Do you not want me to continue reading the article? Because this is how you get me to not read the article :/
You’re up to #3 in the google results for pizza eels, nice work!
“Elements of the past and elements of the future combining to make something not quite as good as either.”
Respect to the greatest one hit wonder tweet of all time.
I still think about that tweet so often.
Eels on a pizza? Well, I guess that’s still better than pineapple on a pizza.
With eels on a pizza you can have eels anytime.
There’s more traditional eel-based fast food:
The power of pizza is such that this video makes me sad that not all of the eels got to enjoy a bite before it was all gone.
i see absolutely nothing wrong with this video. yay happy eels!
Watching this makes me wish I had some novocaine for the soul.
Ugh, the slurping sounds. The unholy slurping sounds.
Hi, quick question: the fuck?
Here’s a more pleasant eel video, wherein a small child catches an eel nearly as long as himself.
those are the prometheus pre aliens feasting
Eel-ios Pizza