Here's Sam Elliott reciting the lyrics of "Old Town Road" for Doritos, against humanity
Aux Features Coming Distractions
Few elements of modern television production strive harder to emulate the fast-moving, nausea-inducing, Tetsuo-from-the-end-of-Akira-level pace of viral internet content more closely than the annual Super Bowl ad, the proverbial Big Game of “Hey, look at me for 20 seconds!” attention-seeking behavior. We are, of course, already well into the era of human history in which various corporation’s million-dollar TikTok videos get their own internet trailers, stoking anticipation to see David Harbour tell you all about laundry detergent yet again. And yet, that knowledge still didn’t prepare us for the raw reality of this particular Doritos ad—for what we can only assume will be an even longer and more flavor-blasted Doritos ad yet to come—and, well, there’s no real way to sugarcoat this, folks: It’s Sam Elliott, noted cowboy man, reciting the lyrics of cowboy-adjacent viral megahit“Old Town Road.”
(By the way, we know the video looks like it didn’t load properly, but it’s still there if you hit play.)
Giving a performance that is somehow considerably less embarrassing than the one his old co-star Jeff Bridges busted out for Stella Artois last year, Elliott informs all involved that, indeed, he does have the horses in the back, and that no one can tell him nothing about the musical deployment of double negatives for lyrical effect. Then, lured away by a pounding bass note, he leaves his hard-earned whiskey behind, presumably so that he can go cram two big handfuls of old-timey Doritos in his mouth, smearing radioactive orange flavor dust all across the surface of that glorious ’stache.
And while we could make a mean-spirited crack here about the spectacle of one relic of a bygone era reciting the lyrics of another, the most irritating thing about this surreal nightmare, of course, is that it works; Elliott may not be the most varied performer in the universe, but when it comes to solemnly intoning vaguely Western nonsense words in a dusty and rascal-filled saloon, he’s a hard man to beat. It’s difficult to express how genuinely annoying it is to have an actual emotional response to a Doritos ad in which a man playing something approaching a parody of himself recites the lyrics to the hottest song of 9 months ago, but hey, that’s apparently where we are right now. (Hell. Where we are right now is Hell.)
67 Comments
I’d just like to smugly report that I’ve never heard any part of “Old Town Road” and I never will.
It’s a rap song with cowboy imagery. For some reason people think that is enough to make it a country song.
I’ve heard it exactly once when it first blew up, but the little snatch of the chorus that I remember has been intermittently stuck in my head ever since and I’ve come to loathe it for that despite actually sort of liking it when I heard it.
How brave.
congrats on not hearing a pretty fun song
It is fun. The lyrics are no different from what you probably hear from “Hillbilly” music (the original label for country music) in the 40s and the 50s, pretty simplistic and old-timey.
I’ve heard snatches of it here and there, but, yeah, if someone put a gun to my head and asking me to approximate—not sing/rap/hum a melody/recite lyrics in my usual monotone speaking affect, just get close enough that it was recognizable—”Old Town Road”, I think I would just repeat the phrase “Old Town Road” (and any other country-ish signifiers I could improvise) to the tune of the “Yellow Rose of Texas”.Yes, I realize “I haven’t *even* heard [crazy popular song]” is probably just as insufferable a hipster brag as “I don’t *even* own a TV”, but it just happens to be true. On my drive to and from work, I listen either to the local college station or MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) or my iPod if I have it with me. At work, the radio we all listen to is tuned to a corporate-owned classic rock station, which was a compromise we reached after I complained about the corporate-owned country station we used to tune to. All things considered, I’d prefer the work radio station was tuned to our local AOR station, but the reception on it is lousy. In my free time, it’s either my iTunes library or my custom Pandora stations.If that’s wrong, I’m not sure I want to be right.
When I “brag” about not having heard a popular song, it’s always in response to complaining about how the song is everywhere and overplayed and can’t be avoided. And I’m like, yeah it totally can, you just have to avoid commercial TV.
Stop calling them snatches.
I was a bit late to it (and haven’t even heard about it) until increduously saw “Li’l Nas feat. Garth Brooks” come up on a BBC channel while in Guangzhou.
I’ll love it just for delivering on that first bizarre cultural clash moment of “wait, Lil Nas X and Garth…. Brooks..???”
I definitely don’t purport to be a Lil Nas X scholar (see my earlier post), but I thought the remix that charted was with Billy Ray Cyrus. The only version I’ve seen that refers to Garth Brooks at all is this tunelessly-sung Minecraft-themed parody version. And…I’m just realizing now that, after managing to avoid it all this time, I have now been exposed to “Old Town Road”…in the stupidest possible way.I’m sure there’s some lesson about the dangers of being too inquisitive or hubris or [insert your own narrative here]. I have officially spent waaay too much time on this.
You’re right. I was typing without thinking clearly, it was Billy Ray.
Also,it sounds like you just completed your Lil Nas X doctoral candidacy exam. You’re well on your way to scholar status now!
Finally! (crumpling sound) Now I can get rid of this worthless liberal-arts degree!
Here’s a fun fact. It is tied as the 5th shortest song to ever chart #1.
It is surprisingly good for a pop country rap mashup. I think most people enjoy this song, not just the youths.
A gold sticker for you.
I’m just going to leave this here…
Nice try, I’m not clicking on that, because you’ve clearly somehow disguised “Never Gonna Give You Up”
Ok boomer
I’ve heard it a handful of times but never in its entirety. Certainly wouldn’t have guessed this commercial had anything to do with it.
How’s life under that rock?
Cozy.
If you’re here, and you saw the above video. Too late.
I didn’t watch the video, numbnuts.
Congrats on a pointless comment then.I, too, don’t like asparagus and will never eat it.
That might be relevant if this article were about asparagus.
Congratulations, you got my point then.
You’ve likely not heard the vast majority of recorded music, who cares?
I don’t even own a Lil’ Nas X.
Sometimes there’s a man, . . . well, he’s the man for his time and place.
And I”m talkin about Li’l Nas X here.
… But is that John C. Reilly at the table?
that’s what i was wondering, too. sure looks a lot like him!
I dunno, I think it’s a pretty good song.
“Li’l Nas X” now that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from
I don’t want to hate on him, because this really seems to be a “15 minutes of fame” sort of situation and I’m really enjoy how he’s shaking up the hornet’s nest that is the pop-country/bro-country/whatever they are calling “country” these days.That said, “Lil Nas X” sounds more like the result of a focus-group testing to determine the best name for a young “urban” (dogwhistle for “black”) musician:“Lil”: A way for rappers to signify youth/inexperience, early in their career(“Lil’ Bow Wow”, “Lil Wayne”, “Lil Jon”). Sometimes—in the case of Bow Wow, anyway—dropped as they get older.“Nas”: From this guy. “X”: Apart from its legacy as the 90s most EXTREME (read: overused) letter, this can also be traced back to black history. (P.S. If you had to click that link to figure out who I was talking about and you live in the US, your history teachers and/or schools failed you.(Yes, I know black DJ/rap culture is about adopting short catchy names, sometimes appropriating other popular names, like the legend about how Dr. Dre originally chose “Dr. J” (after famous basketballer Julius Irving) as his club-DJ name or how there’s another Doctor Dré (difference: “Doctor” is spelled out rather than abbreviated, acute accent on the “e”), born two years earlier… in another part of the country. As far as I can tell, there’s no proof that the former stole the name from the latter or vice versa. My bona fides for this opinion/this whole post: none…I’m just a cracker who fell down a wiki wormhole.)tl;dr: Ummm…I guess I liked that ad and I bear Lil Nas X no ill will, but c’mon…that’s a stupid name to be stuck with if your career takes off. Then again, who would have thought a band based off a Simpsons reference* would make it big, much less garner critical attention…To Triohead: Sorry for turning a simple reply to your post into…well, this rambling mess.*I could have sworn FOB made Kyle Ryan’s at some point, but I guess I’m wrong. And then I was disappointed because I realized I hadn’t seen that feature this year, until I noticed that, nope, it was published three days ago and I completely missed it. If I missed it because it dropped during the work week, shame on me; if I missed because the AVC did nothing to promote it/let it drop off the landing page, shame on them.
“I bear Lil Nas X no ill will, but c’mon…that’s a stupid name to be stuck with if your career takes off.”Somewhere in the world right now Awkwafina is feeling attacked.
If there was any justice in the world, she’d actually be under physical attack.
If we lived in a world that made any sense at all, your parents never would have crossed paths.But here we are.
Upvoted for bringing the Worst Band article to attention.
Good talk, dad.
That was actually pretty cool! Sam Elliott is one of those actors who can read the phone book and make it interesting.
Others include John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, and Derek Jacobi.David Tennant, Michael Sheen and Benedict Cumberbatch could keep it interesting at least until they got to the MNLO part.Special consideration for Helen Mirren because, well, she’s Helen Mirren. Judy Dench because, she’s awesome. And Glenn Close, because she really seems like a whole lot more fun to hang out with than Meryl Streep—she’d make rock it by keeping it light.
I’d add Christopher Walken to that list. Possibly Nicolas Cage if he’s really feeling it.
Yes on Walken… though there will be… pauses of… indeterminate… length for… emphasis.And… of course… more cowbell!
Apparently only whites can read.
Or maybe it wasn’t intended to be an all inclusive list in the first place. I was just throwing a few names out there to get the conversation rolling. Other posters have already added Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones to the list. As for anyone but Sam Elliott doing the Doritos add, I doubt anyone we’ve named here could do that particular bit any better. Any more than Elliott would be any good at voicing Darth Vader.
and Morgan Freeman.
Of course we have to include Morgan Freeman! The man narrated his own birth!
James Earl Jones, otherwise known as the voice GOAT.
Almost forgot him!
He’s the major reason I watch ‘The Ranch’ on Netflix.
A wild Sam Elliot appears:
This must be really confusing for people who don’t know the song.
Why isn’t his hat black though?
How many SB commercials has Elliott contributed to?
He did the team intros at the Super Bowl itself a few years ago, that was cool.
“And while we could make a mean-spirited crack here about the spectacle of one relic of a bygone era reciting the lyrics of another,”Didn’t he just get an Oscar nomination last year?Anyway, after those cringeworthy (if pleasant enough) Cardi B Pepsi commercials, my expectations for Super Bowl advertisements are safely low. I prefer the cheese to the awkward attempts at social justice which…lead to other Pepsi commercials.
To be fair, Elliot has never shied away from being a bit of a parody of himself – he has never taken himself seriously enough to not have a bit of fun with it. (His Lebowski part is an obvious one, but don’t underestimate his role in Road House.) It’s part of his charm.
He rocks up during ‘Up In The Air’ to basically just play a gloriously moustached pilot. I think he knows how to have fun.
I finally had to seek this song out and listen to it, and it’s just awful.
“(Hell. Where we are right now is Hell.)“Really? The safest, most prosperous, most comfortable time in human history, and you’re in hell? Hate to see how you’d handle life decades or centuries ago.
“And while we could make a mean-spirited crack here about the spectacle
of one relic of a bygone era reciting the lyrics of another…”
I’m gonna say this right now: 30 years from now Sam Elliot will STILL be more relevant than the writer of this article.
How does a person generate any reaction to this stuff? First world problems.
I still want Doritos to re-introduce 70’s flavor Taco Doritos, the current throwback packaged one currently on shelves is not even close.
Wade Garrett is the best.