Innocent Sesame Street question somehow reveals which Muppets the internet wants to eat most
Aux Features TV“Desert island” questions are classic conversation starters. They prompt discussions on favorite books and albums, idle “what if?” scenarios about how your friends would approach a life-and-death scenario, and force reflection on what people value most in life. Ask someone a desert island question and you will learn something about their personality.
Or, ask this kind of question on Twitter, hoping for some friendly, family-friendly brand engagement, and learn something broader and more troubling about the general population—like, for instance, that everyone is ready to eat Sesame Street characters as soon as the chips are down.
After the show’s account asked the nice, innocent question of which childhood friend would be best to have as company on a deserted island, many people took this as a cue to discuss the beloved Muppets’ unique personalities and their childhood memories associated with them.
This heartwarming display is, unfortunately, only part of the picture. It turns out Twitter is more concerned with the cold, hard practicalities of surviving on a desert island than explaining why, say, Cookie Monster would be a better conversation partner than Oscar The Grouch. Their choice of companion is not based on personality, but of potential caloric intake.
Here, for example, is a telling exchange about why Cookie Monster, the blue giant who loves baked goods and being kind, would be good to have around when food gets scarce.
Aside from the friendly creatures’ meat, others have considered the even more grisly matter of what value their hides and internal organs may have in a survival scenario.
All in all, the Sesame Street account’s question is less a pleasant excuse to think back on the innocence of childhood than it is a prompt to deeply contemplate the basic fact that we are eating, shitting animals who must view our world through a predator/prey lens when our lives are on the line. Elmo’s gentle smile vanishes from the mind as we think of the eighth day on this island, his skinned body roasting on a spit as hot goblets of fat drip onto the fire. Cookie Monster’s googly eyes, once a comfort, now stare at us lifeless as we see ourselves crawling into his hollowed-out torso for warmth on a cold night.
In short, thanks Sesame Street. You’ve ruined us.
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40 Comments
Ugh, Twitter people taking this discussion to a truly twisted, perverse place. I am very distressed.I’d bring Grover. He’s easily the freakiest of this group, and probably would be willing to do a brother a solid with a few felt jobs.
Starring this for the feltjobs
Cookie Monster is a classic mistake. He’s going to get hungry before you will, and he’s an eating machine. You’re not going to win that battle. Oscar meat is 90% trash and is going to taste like tires and used condoms, and that’s if he doesn’t kill you out of spite on night one. There’s not enough meat on Elmo to keep you alive for an hour.
No, Grover is the clear choice of these four.
This definitely deserves some kind of reaction, but I am not sure if it is nervous laughter or horrified screaming
Why not both?
Anyone checked on Mike Vago lately?
Snuffaluffagus could feed an army for a year. Enough time for the island to transform into an agricultural economy.
Except nobody other than Big Bird could see him in order to strike the killing blow. (Though Google now assures me that others have been able to see him since 1985, completely ruining my joke).
I don’t know if you saw why they made that change in 1985, but for the edification of all: In an interview on the show Still Gaming, Snuffy’s performer,Martin P. Robinson, revealed that Snuffy was finally introduced to the main human cast mainly due to a string of high-profile and sometimes graphic stories of pedophilia and sexual abuse of children that aired on 60 Minutes. According to Carol-Lynn Parente, the writers felt that by having the adults refuse to believe Big Bird, they were scaring children into thinking that their parents would not believe them if they had been abused and that they would just be better off remaining silent.[3] On the same telethon, during Robinson’s explanation, Loretta Long uttered the words “Bronx daycare”, a reference to reports on New York TV station WNBC-TV of alleged sexual abuse at a Bronx daycare center. This was seen in the documentary Sesame Street Unpaved.
I had not seen that explanation. It reassures me that the fine folks who made Sesame Street were consistently awesome and smart in how they approached children’s television. But still…Snuffy will always be invisible to this guy who had outgrown the street by 1985.
“Of course that’s your contention. You’re a first-year grad student; you just got finished reading some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison probably. You’re gonna be convinced of that ‘till next month when you get to James Lemon. Then you’re going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That’s gonna last until next year; you’re gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin’ about, you know, the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.”
THE CLEAR ANSWER.
I didn’t seem him among the choices.Ba-dum-bump!
You could never keep it fresh though. …Maybe you can use salt water to preserve it and dry it out.
If we’re allowed to go off menu, the obvious answer is Super Grover, who could fly you off the island, or the Yip Yips, who apparently possess some kind of teleporter technology.
If it’s just the two of us then most of it would spoil. Could make a tent from his skin though, so there’s that
Fuck eating Muppets. I want to eat the children.
Hey look, a literal troll on the internet.Novelty!
I mean there’s the whole Eating Muppets skit that The State did back in the 90s so…
Grover’s a superhero, so obviously it would be him.However, if it’s about eating, then Cookie Monster and Oscar each contain at least three human arms each compared to Grover and Elmo’s one a piece, so it’s a coin flip.
Yeah. Right….
Sesame Street I’m sure didn’t put Big Bird on the list specifically because he probably does taste like chicken. “Eating a Bird is one thing, but I’m sure they won’t plot out eating any of the other denizens that appear mostly humanoid” they foolishly (didn’t) think.I’d go with Oscar he’d be the only one who hated the situation enough to attempt to get off the island. Bastard would probably leave me behind though…
https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1107765205830905856?s=19
“knots per hour”I know it’s not a big deal, but ugh
The important thing is everyone recognizes Grover’s supremacy for companionship and helpfulness.
The State did this joke in like 1997. Skit starts areound 13.37:
The Count, because his Vampire blood infused meat would bestow me with his everlasting life and ability to do addition well.
Hope there’s shade on this island though.
Hope there’s shade on this island though.Yeah. Fifty.
AH-AH-AH-HA!
Oh, the hubris of mankind. Motherf***** ate a VW Bug once, and you think you’re going to kill him? All those folks picking Cookie Monster are in for surprise when he swallows them whole inside the first hour on that island.
You know the obvious answer is bacon, right?
Piggy isn’t a Sesame Street Muppet so she might not quality. But if you like frog legs, Kermit is (technically) both a Sesame Street and Muppets Muppet.
Oh, Piggy also knows Judo and has Hulk-like strength, so good look luck with eating her.
She also has castaway experience from Muppet Treasure Island.
Cos killing Piggy on a deserted island worked out so well in Lord of the Flies.
They didn’t eat him, which may have been a mistake….
I’d have to go with Elmo. He’s small so he’ll eat less and I won’t feel guilty if it comes time to crush his skull in with a large rock.
I’d definitely eat Big Bird. It’d be hard to choose between fried and rotisserie, though.
Question: Is eating the non-monster human Muppets like Bert, Ernie, and Prairie Dawn cannibalism?
This is pathetic! Society trying to promote and normalize cannibalism in a safe, harmless way with Sesame Street characters. Uphalling but what should we expect in the 5th age!