Jake Gyllenhaal to star in “speedboat heist movie” that better be as freakin’ radical as it sounds
The movie is about thieves with speedboats robbing yachts... until they steal from the wrong people
Aux News Heist
We’ve got five words for you: Jake. Gyllenhaal. Speedboat. Heist. Movie. Are you excited yet? How about this premise, courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter: “A group of thieves using high-powered speedboats to rob superyachts steal the wrong thing from the wrong group of people.” Does that sound rad or does that sound rad?
Of course, in Hollywood, a rad premise can only get you so far—even one as rad as Robin Hood-style thieves on speedboats stealing from the rich and pissing off some bad people—but it’s hard to deny that this project certainly sounds cool. It’s called Cut & Run, and it comes from a spect script written by Eagle Eye’s John Glenn. That movie doesn’t inspire a ton of confidence in this, both in terms of quality and in terms of radicalness, and Glenn’s subsequent work (mostly on TV stuff like SEAL Team) also doesn’t indicate that he has much interest in the kind of style-over-substance nonsense that a speedboat heist would imply, but still… speedboat heist!
The Hollywood Reporter says New Republic picked up the rights to Cut & Run in a “competitive situation,” and Gyllenhaal is on board to star and produce, so at least there’s some behind-the-scenes excitement about this. Maybe they also saw the words “speedboat heist” and their minds went completely blank except for the vroom vroom SPLASH! sounds that you might hear during a speedboat heist? Will this movie start to lose its appeal if we just keep saying “speedboat heist” over and over again? Speedboat heist! Speedboat heist! Nope, it still sounds cool!
Anyway, THR doesn’t have any other casting info, and it doesn’t sound like a director is attached, both of which could be big factors in determining if this movie is as good as the premise implies. (Again, for those who may have forgotten, it’s about a SPEEDBOAT HEIST.)
40 Comments
Jake. Gyllenhaal. Speedboat. Heist. Movie.
So…Speed 2, meets Fast and Furious, and generic direct to vid action movies with Bruce Willis?I’ll check it out when I need background noise while cleaning up my place.
“A group of thieves using high-powered speedboats to rob superyachts steal the wrong thing from the wrong group of people.” And then they’re pursued by…KNIGHT BOAT! THE CRIME-SOLVING BOAT!
You mean Thunder in Paradise but with Rock and John Cena
and now your moment of “Is this a real movie or a parody?”
…with a bonus moment of “why did I agree to this??” by the random model hired as eye candy.
Probably similar to the pig heart transplant thing: A small but controversial amount of cocaine.
I suspect the amount of cocaine here was anything but small…
That must be the controversy.
I’d say John Cena and Jack Quaid. Chris Lemmon balanced out the gruff meatheadedness of Terry Bollea with his comedic charm while still being able to sell the relative seriousness of the show. Jack Quaid fits that same niche as well as also being the son of famous people.
You don’t have to shout at the Knight Boat. They’re all around you.
Not another word against the Boat!!!
Every week there’s a canal. Or an inlet. Or a fjord.
Taylor’s got five words back to you: Jake. Gyllenhaal. Scarf. Heist. Album.
Maggie Gyllenhall has as much as admitted that she might well have the scarf, so that album should be fierce
I’m calling it now: Music video of the decade.
Wasn’t her answer essentially how should I know if some girl my brother dated 10 years ago left a scarf in the dresser? Which was definitely the right answer. “Don’t know, don’t care.”
I was going to ask if we’re still mad about that.
Curious what Taylor smells like, especially after being stuffed in a drawer for a decade.
Gyllenhaal has made a name for himself in more complex character driven roles, so I’m not sure why there’d be any excitement from a movie concept as generic sounding as this action focused blockbuster pitch.
Dude! Did you miss the “Speedboat”?!
Right now he’s in a heist movie where he hijacks an ambulance with an injured cop inside so the cops chasing him are forced to be cautious.
I still can’t fathom how he wasn’t nominated for Nightcrawler. That’s one of the best performances I’ve seen in ages.
Looks like a job for
So the boat’s name is “Thunder”?
This sounds like a particularly tense heist movie. Because of the implication
Eh, I still bet it’s no Amsterdamned.
Where did you get that their crime was Robin Hood-style? There’s nothing in the THR article to suggest they’re anything other than regular “I wanted the money” criminals.
They’re straight. Just merry!
“Gone in 60 second…..BUT WITH BOATS!”
‘BUDGET THIS MAN 100 MILLION DOLLARS!”
Just a guess, but I am thinking around the fourth movie, they bring back the original cast for a mild reboot called The Cut and the Run, and it then becomes one of the top movie franchises of its era.
Please god let this be a Below Deck crossover.
Isn’t this just Speed 2?
No, that was a much larger, less manoeuvrable boat in Speed 2.
Is this a sequel to Omniboat: A Fast Boat Fantasia?https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11394330/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_9
Add Treat Williams and a monster and you get
As long as Jake is donning some Oakley Razors, I’m there.
Ah, man. I was hoping this would be a look at the gritty world of thieves stealing speedboats. Not using them for other heists. Like Repo Man, but on the water.
I bet you could get some of those 80s era Miami Vice cigarette boats on the cheap, then put together a Fast and Furious style gang that takes yachts down on the high seas.