Any movie can become a children’s cartoon if networks try hard enough. Beetlejuice may have been a bit much for kids, but swap Michael Keaton for a loose-limbed animated version and there you go: He’s ready for Saturday morning. The Rambo movies definitely weren’t aimed at teaching youngsters about war-induced PTSD and Afghan mujahideen tactics, but once Sylvester Stallone was turned into a muscle-bound cartoon, it was time for kids to get acquainted with him anyway. Even Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers was fodder for a kids’ TV show that used charmingly antiquated CGI to soften the film’s satirical bite.
In light of these examples, it really isn’t all that ridiculous to imagine an alternate timeline that gave us another unlikely adaptation of a hit film—to pretend we grew up in a world good enough to provide us with the ongoing adventures of Jason And Friends.
The fake show intro comes courtesy of Mike Chiechi’s Frank’s Kid page. It imagines Friday The 13th as a wacky cartoon series where that lovable serial murderer Jason transforms from lumpy mutant into the hulking avatar of hate we know and love once he slaps on his hockey mask. Accompanied by the toy-ready sidekicks of Mrs. Voorhees’ severed head and a dog in a matching mask, Jason flies a spaceship, rides a horse through the desert, and gets into hijinks like slashing camp counselors apart with a machete or slamming their heads together until their faces are left a misshapen ruin.
Though Jason And Friends never actually existed, Chiechi makes a strong case for correcting that mistake by showing just how well Friday The 13th would work as a blood-soaked cartoon. With the way things have been going, maybe modern kids would even find it a little comforting to enjoy the escapism of an immortal murder machine stalking his victims. Jason sure beats thinking about the far greater horrors of the world they’re inheriting, after all.
[via Bloody Disgusting]
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18 Comments
If The Toxic Avenger can be turned into a cartoon, I don’t see why not.
Catch it Saturday mornings, right after Watchmen
Jason’s outfit has been laundered, ironed, and nicely tucked. A little attention to presentation goes a long way, Jason!
That looks like the Part VI look, where he was at his most prim. I feel like Parts II – IV were kind of chasing a “backwoods” look, and starting with Part VII they leaned all the way into Jason being a zombie. Part VI is the one where he looks weirdly like a utility worker who impales people with a spear. Although that screengrab up top is from Part III, I’m pretty sure, so they were already going for the jumpsuit look back then.
My personal favorite (and yes, this is real):
Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD got a cartoon too, and was in fact pitched with that intention.
I remember this show existing. I forgot how resolutely hideous everything about the show was – from the character designs to the animation style to the theme song. Which is suitable, since you need that “Troma feel,” and a children’s show can’t have exploding heads or pointless nudity. As an aside, I have a copy of Sgt Kubukiman that’s autographed by Lloyd Kaufman – every few years I’m trying to weed out movies I never watch, I acknowledge that I haven’t watched Sgt Kabukiman in 20 years and will probably never watch it again, and then I put it back on the shelf and move along.
To this very day, the existence of Toxic Crusaders baffles me. Of all the R-rated movie children’s cartoon adaptations, this is the one that seemed the most ill-advised. And I’m so happy it exists.
Man, I could waste my entire workday searching for “TV Funhouse” clips that are basically this premise..
Still, nothing can top this:
Came here looking for this.
The still looks exactly like opening to the old Mr. T cartoon.
Hot take: Friday the 13th movies are already cartoons for kids.
Off topic but boy did they really blow it with the Friday the 13th multi-player game. It started out rough but was making some real progress after a bunch of patches and content updates. Great to watch on streams too. Now it’s an abandoned wasteland with no meaningful updates for months. Shame.
From what I understand, there was a rights issue and they weren’t allowed to add any more content to the game due to an ongoing lawsuit.
not as good as these jason and friends
Came here hoping someone had posted it. Worthikids is such a talented animator, and I like all the little sight gags in his work (that, and the time and effort he made to make all of Jason’s ESL accurate).
Favorite part of this is Pamela Vorhees floating severed head! And the way the theme keeps trying to restart during the prolonged head bashing.Not sure how far they could stretch the premise, but I’d love to see an Adult Swim show of this.