Jeff Goldblum reviewing Jeff Goldblum impressions brings us perilously close to cosmic collapse
We're reaching critical mass levels of "neurotic, self-aware swagger"
Film Features Goldblum
Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle is the much-quoted and referenced quantum physics theory stating that one can know a particle’s location or its velocity, but not both at the same time. In fact, the more we know about one of those measurements, the less we can know about the other. This same idea extends to Jeff Goldblum: we can hypothetically analyze his neurotic, charming swagger and “Hip Daddy-O” vibes, or his public persona’s ever-metastasizing, self-aware caricature of itself—but not the two simultaneously. Call it Goldblum’s Uncertainty Principle, if you will.
Having defined this new concept, let us jump right into the issue at hand: Getting Jeff Goldblum to attempt reviews of other people’s Jeff Goldblum impressions of is basically a pop cultural black hole. We are reaching a dangerous event horizon of handwringing, wild gesticulations, and purr-murmurs from the veteran actor and jazz aficionado.
We are taking this moment to urge everyone: Turn back now, for the love of God and all that is holy.
Watching Goldblum analyze impersonations from David Duchovny and Bryan Cranston (both beloved “zaddys” of their own rights) feels like we are witnessing a toddler operate the Large Hadron Collider. Who let this happen, and how can we shut it down before the universe collapses in on itself?
Quite frankly, it’s goddamn dangerous and irresponsible to see Jeff Goldblum catch himself imitating his imitators. The cosmos can only stand so much strain. Reality can be skewered only so far. The center cannot hold here, people.
Some may argue there are more pressing existential concerns in front of us, to which we say: Have you listened to Jeff Goldblum trace the history of his trademark, wide-eyed reaction faces? Please, someone, make it stop.
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17 Comments
Me: He wouldn’t be doing the David Duchovny one, would he?Best click of the day.
That Tom Hiddleston clip sends the secondhand embarrassment dial into the red.
It was better than some of the others in this video, but maybe Hiddleston should stick to doing Owen Wilson.
Hiddleston’s impressions are always painful, and made all the more so by the fact that he clearly thinks he’s some kind of Man Of A Thousand Voices type guy
Just busting it out right in front of the guy himself is big theater kid energy
I mean, that video was every bit as delightful as I expected. Goldblum is just my jam, I guess.
Any video that includes the sentence “My mom had some prominent eyeballs, I tell ya” is an instant win.
Duchovny’s Goldblum is just the best.“Ah, the LETTER two!”
(looks down) “I can’t read.”
Doesn’t do anything for me
I see we’ve reached the snarky backlash phase of AV Club’s Goldblum coverage.
For a really meta experience, consider the fact that one of the comments in this section was submitted by Jeff Goldblum himself.
He seems way more delighted than Shatner, who came off prickly at times. Love me some Goldblum, appreciate him spelling his name for us, just in case we would need that.
This is way more fun then the Shatner one that they did last year. Shatner seemed genuinely unhappy about what everyone was doing but Goldblum just seems happy about it all
Can’t blame him, most impressions of him are utterly hideous
Not weird enough to be interesting.
I don’t understand this article. You’re saying this isn’t an entertaining, joyful video? Wtf is this place now?