Jen and Brad were cute, but Shia LaBeouf's Spicoli was the star of the charity Fast Times reading
Aux Features Film
The celebs have been at it time and again throughout the pandemic, but, if they simply must continue to foist themselves upon the suffering masses, we’d prefer it be like last night’s Fast Times At Ridgemont High read-through. Organized by Dane Cook, of all people, the high-wattage cast assembled to help raise funds for CORE and Reform Alliance, the former of which was founded by Fast Times alum Sean Penn.
Penn was on hand for the reading, though not playing Mr. Hand (that was Ray Liotta). Rounding out the cast was Cook (Ratner), Brad Pitt (Brad), Jennifer Aniston (Linda), Julia Roberts (Stacy), Matthew McConaughey (Damone), John Legend (Charles Jefferson), Henry Golding (Mr. Vargas), and Jimmy Kimmel (many teenage girls). Morgan Freeman read stage directions, while Shia LaBeouf stripped off his shirt and smoked himself stupid while channeling stoner hero Spicoli from inside a car. It ruled, honestly.
Of course, it was the iconic fantasy sequence—originally performed by Phoebe Cates and Judge Reinhold—that raised the most eyebrows, specifically because it unfolded between exes Pitt and Aniston. As Freeman reads Cameron Crowe’s positively filthy stage directions, Aniston’s amused face contrasts with Pitt’s strained downward gaze. The rest of the cast, meanwhile, giggles into their hands, eyes unable to turn away from the trainwreck that is two exes being forced into a shared spotlight.
“Hi, Brad. You know how cute I always thought you were,” says Aniston’s Linda. “I think you’re so sexy. Will you come to me?”
Yeah, okay, we’re squirming, too. Watch it below.
Still, it’s LaBeouf’s now-trademark dedication that propels this reading into must-watch territory. He storms in and out of the car throughout his scenes, leaning hard into Spicoli’s dumb sweetness while also digging deep into the anger the character feels when Mr. Hand tears up his cards. His sweaty, steely delivery of “you dick” stands toe-to-toe with Penn’s.
Speaking of Penn, just look at how amused he is by LaBeouf’s first scene.
You can watch the full thing below. It’s worth it for all the aforementioned reasons, but also McConaughey introducing himself as Damone with a breezy, “I’m just sellin’ tickets!”
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25 Comments
dane cook looks like he’s been inflated, maybe he’s on the Joe Rogan ROIDS diet
He is only 4 years older than me, but looks 10 years older trying to look his age now.
I feel like Randall Park would have been a lot better Ratner, and I’d have gone with Michael B. Jordan as Charles and LC. But LaBeouf’s Spicolli is immaculate. Just glad to see LaBeouf happy and working.
I thought Rogan was on an all-meat diet. Lately he’s looking like Commander Strax.
lol that is spot-onI feel like Joe Rogan is such a narcissist he drinks a power shake made with his own jizz every morning.
Uggh – he looks like he went to the Mickey Rourke School of Plastic Surgery.
He looks fine…on second thought
That’s the new “mouthbreather”bloated look all the alpha’s are going for. It’s the male version of the shiny, stretched out, botox look.
“Matthew McConaughey (Damone)“Of course he fucking was.
I kind of wish McConaughey would have been Spicoli. He might have ended up naked and playing bongos, but that’s a risk I think we are willing to take in 2020.
Did everyone from the movie die?
Don’t ever let Fred Savage fly you anywhere in a plane he borrowed from Harrison Ford.
I think the happiest people on earth right now are the tabloid writers who watched this and now have entire issues that could be written just over the pool scene
I’m glad the public sentiment has swung back around for him. Asshole or not, I’ve always had love for God’s Gift of Beef.
I love Shia LaBeouf.
Uh oh, this is gonna set off all those “Jen and Brad are getting back together!” ding-dongs. Or maybe Anniston just can’t be bothered to hold a grudge, especially since she’s sitting on a mountain of Friends money.
The friends money is probably immaterial to the fact that she’s been consistently working to pretty positive acclaim since it ended. Of any comparison or conflation of the two of them is going to give her the higher ground it’s that he cannot be said to have had the same.
Ray Liotta looks somehow good and bad at the same time. I do like how formal he dressed for the role and that while everyone’s giggling and seemingly eubulent he’s stone faced and reviewing the script the whole time.
Of all the things to happen today, the last thing I expected to hear was Morgan Freeman saying “Brad… is jacking off.”
best thing he’s done in a long time
Holy hell Brad’s bottom lip has aged well.
Jen and Brad were cute but Shia LaBeouf’s…Record scratch sound. Just stop right there. How many fuck-ups does this poor-guy’s Mel-Gibson-wannabe have to go through before he runs out of fourth and fifth chances? Can you spare us the effort to rehab yet another absolute dirtbag?
What I wouldn’t give to have Brad Pitt’s hair (preferably on my head, that is)!
This is probably the only thing I’ve liked of Shia LaBeouf’s in about a decade. And I really liked it.Also, the cheerful intro of ‘Hi Brad!’ ‘Hi Jennifer.’ did set up the pool scene nicely.
I am bothered by just how much I dislike Shia LaBeouf.
I won’t watch anything with him in it at this point. He is the only actor I feel this way about (I think) and I want to say it started around the time of Crystal Skull or that Tank movie. (Fury? I think)