We finally have photographic proof of Jerry Seinfeld’s bizarre Pop-Tart movie
Now no one can deny it: Jerry Seinfeld directed and starred in a movie about Pop-Tarts, and Netflix aided and abetted him
Aux News Jerry Seinfeld
Was Jerry Seinfeld’s semi-obsessive desire to make a movie about the creation of the Pop-Tart—a project Seinfeld has been talking about regularly for years at this point, with its origins dating back to a long-toiled-over joke in his act—simply an idea waiting patiently for its time? After all, the Netflix-produced Unfrosted apparently finished filming way back in 2022, with no word as to why it hadn’t yet been released, almost two years later. Was it simply waiting until the era of Air and Flamin’ Hot was in full swing, so that this strangest of the Product Movies might have a well-traveled place to land? Regardless, we now have genuine proof that the movie—Seinfeld’s directorial debut, as it happens, and his first cinematic project since a weary nation lost its heart to Bee Movie lo these 17 years ago—actually exists outside its creator’s head, as Netflix released a few seconds of footage from the movie as part of its much bigger film slate announcements earlier today.
And while there’s some more exciting footage out there that seems to depict an explosion—and the equally horrifying conflagration of Jerry Seinfeld’s face contorting itself in an effort to act—we found our eyes drawn, again and again, to the still photo that was released alongside the footage. The question that eats at us, really, is one of tone: Sure, we can see Seinfeld, Melissa McCarthy, Jim Gaffigan, and Fred Armisen—famous jokesters all—yukking it up in period costumes, suggesting a certain spirit of the comedic infusing the piece. But the question remains: Is Seinfeld attempting to tell a real story about the history of breakfast, or just perpetrating some of his signature tomfoolery on an unsuspecting audience?
At first, we were reassured: A quick check of the historical record confirms that the boxes shown in this picture line up with the ones Kellogg’s actually used when the Pop-Tart arrived on store shelves in 1964, becoming an instant sugary sensation in the process. But look closer, dear reader: The printing of the name is reversed, taking the normal, even stolid, word “Pop-Tart,” and transforming it into the far sillier “Trat-Pop.” Even worse, Armisen’s character is looking at a rubber stamp in front of him with confusion and disgust, as though he’s somehow at fault for this mix-em-up! We regret to inform you, reader, that we detect here the presence of goofs. Jerry Seinfeld has made a comedy movie about Pop-Tarts, he has convinced many of his very famous friends to be in it with him, and it will be in your homes on May 3. Please prepare yourselves, and your souls, accordingly.
154 Comments
What next, a Funyuns movie from Hannibal Buress?
Yes, please! That’d be much better than the Responsibilityuns movie from Ben Stein.
What we really need is a Gobbledok biopic.I’m also pleased Tom Hanks is looking well for his age:
That’s Colin, you buffoon
Sorry. All those Hankseseses look the same to me-OK, maybe not all of them.
I can’t tell if his head looks a little small for his body or his shoulders look a little too big for the rest of him.
Sorry. All those Hankseseses look the same to me-OK, maybe not all of them.
I was hoping for a Twizzlers movie from Steven Wright.
Sounds more family-friendly than the Twizzlers movie from Kyle Kinane.
Did you hear DDL was coming out of retirement for PT Anderson’s upcoming Skittles film?
I heard he’s playing a red Skittle!
Billy West is gonna put a fucking horse head in his bed.
No, Steven Wright should make the Oreo Filling Movie.
I mean I’d actually watch that over this for real.
Despite his hilarious co-stars and Fred Armisen, I have no intention on watching a Jerry Seinfeld movie.Tuesday with Julia Louis-Dreyfus will probably be funnier.
You’re the hero we need.
Tuesday with Julia Louis-DreyfusIs this the comedy sequel to Tuesdays With Morrie?
It wasn’t.
Seinfeld is a really likable pedophile/bigot though.
I predict a hilarious scene where somebody burns the shit out of their mouth, and then they try to solve that problem to save the product, then somebody says “You know what? Fuck it. Sell’em anyway”.
Also, I’m nursing a fucking second-degree burn on my lip right now from a hipster pie, so I feel ya on that.
I have never burned my mouth on a Pop-Tart. What kind of nuclear-powered toasters are other people using to get them that hot?
Microwaves.
As someone who grew up microwaving Pop Tarts . . . You can get a toaster for like $12, and it will change your life (or at least the way you think about Pop Tarts.)
I was shocked when I talked about microwaving pop tarts at work and no one else had ever done that.
I actually only had them cold until I went to college, and then started microwaving them. No idea why I didn’t have a toaster until I was like 25.
I’m talking about back in the day, as an adult It’s toaster strudel or GTFO. But if I did for some reason eat a pop tart, I’d put it in the toaster for sure.
How long are people nuking their pastries, a full minute? I’ve never had to go over 20 seconds to get them as warm as they’d be from a toaster.
Brian Regan has answers to all your Pop-Tart preparation questions
What dumbshit microwaves a poptart?
Well obviously, me. Not proud of it…
I think it’s less the super toaster, more that people just give it no time to cool before shoving it in their mouths
it’s also really easy to overheat them. At least in a toaster. i don’t know about the weirdos that use microwaves.
Hopefully, the movie won’t be as lame as Pop-Tarts have been for all these years. I can’t remember being more disappointed at trying some food I would have liked at lot, if it had been done well. Nothing about PT’s are well done.
For fuck’s sake, you must have the most limited palate of any adult, ever.
At this point, I’m pretty sure the point of the internet is for people to state the obvious as a problem. Sometimes it works, but more often it leads to people writing “Pop Tarts aren’t made well” as though a high-quality Pop Tarts weren’t an oxymoron.
Are you telling me my breakfast of choice for all of school until I moved out for college was less than high quality?Because, well, that tracks….
You should have classed it up with Toaster Strudel
I did but don’t tell Pop Tarts I cheated on them…
Oh I will tell them and you better watch out they get cutty when they get mad.
Man I thought you were cool!
You don’t cheat on the Trailer Park Tammy of toaster pastries
I was Toaster Scrambles kid.
I’m an old they didn’t have those when I was a kid lol, looks good though.
I tried one.Tasted like MSG, salt, and artificial colors.It’s never a good sign when the artificial colors are a significant factor in the taste of a convenience food.
You can taste artificial colors? That’s your imagination, man. And I don’t think there’s any MSG. But it’s freezer section food, what did you expect? I’m not even sure why you bothered trying one knowing what it is. Kid me liked them, and preferred them over sugary breakfast options. One neat trick. Bite the corner off and “pour” the oil out onto a plate or in the trash. I thought they were much better that way.
Eh, I was able to get some really cheap with a coupon so figured I would try them. And I wish I’d run across your advice before my experience with them, as I’m pretty sure that would have helped a great deal.
I learned that Toaster Strudel was a real thing like a week ago. For the longest time I thought they were made up as a joke for ‘Mean Girls’. (Like the writers said, “What’s a fake thing that will remind people of Pop Tarts?”)
How do I know the owner of a lonely heart is much better than, say, the owner of a toaster strudel?
Murray Chang would go on to take his first unassisted shit in his sophomore year.
Try some Pillsbury toaster strudel and then come back here and take that statement back.
Why bother, when a tub of crisco and a bag of sugar are so much more cost effective? This is like saying “cheap American beer is gross” and someone replying “try a Coors Banquet and take that back.”
Yeah but toaster strudel is fucking delicious.
He often whines about food over at the Takeout. I think he’s serious.
Toaster Strudel showed what even a junk pastry could be, so?
I liked the idea of PT’s just fine, Toaster Strudel’s were much better for sure, but I admit, I’m one picky SOB. I know two people who make me seem like a foodie in comparison. One guy eats almost nothing but white stuff, or stuff that was originally white, like mashed potatoes and french fries. The other guy can’t seem to eat anything but Swanson (Yuck) Chicken or turkey TV dinners and fried chicken with mashed and gravy at fast food places. All of us are over 50, with me being the oldest at 67.But seriously, any one of the Hostess/Dolly Madison/Drake’s, etc fruit pies blows the same flavor PT out of the water, and they aren’t great themselves. Cherry for me, frozen please! They were better when they had lard in them, for sure. I have had quite a few PTs over the years since they came out, and they ALWAYS disappoint. But my friend’s kids and grandkids seem to love them, I have zero clue why. A trip to the bakery down the street can get them, for a little more, a really good pastry. It’s literally a minute away by bike, 5 by walking.
Guy who dated a teenager at middle age and infamous sex pest Fred Armisen? That set must have been a nightmare to work on.
Ya duh ya duh ya duh.
I’m hoping that this winds up either being his version of “The Day the Clown Cried,” where it doesn’t get released until after he’s dead. Or, like Howard Hughes constantly rewatching “The Conqueror,” he just spends decades, slowly going mad as he watches this over and over, all alone.
Both would be “wreck” movies I want to see. Especially the Jerry Lewis masterpiece. I love bad movies, and both seem to be sure bets.
Everybody in the picture looks like they’ve finally found a vehicle for their Mad Men fantasies.
should be released on 4/20
I’m looking forward to it
I’m looking forward to mocking it and complaining about it on the internets even though I’ll never actually see it.
If this was a full-on spoof of the recent spate of “major corporation/brand origin stories”, doing what Walk Hard did to the musician biopic, then I’d be totally down to check this out. But in the hands of Jerry Seinfeld though??? Ehh…
“But in the hands of Jerry Seinfeld though???”
Yeah, it will probably be REALLY SERIOUS.
People rag on Seinfeld in the weirdest way. Stand up aside, his entire output is a really good documentary, a really good interview show, a cult classic animated film, and one of the best sitcoms of all time.
OK I’m lol’ing at your characterization of Bee Movie as a “cult classic”, hehe.
I could see a good Kroll/Mulaney bit about this. I think it would have to be about a fake product, though. There’s probably some brand that would let them run with it, but I think it would be more universal if it wasn’t linked to something real.
They hired Jim Gaffigan for the wrong ‘low quality food stuffed with filling’ movie, swing and a big miss!
…caliente pocket…
Haaaaht pockets.
Is that what they call them in Boston?
You have to hear him say it.
I’m amazed that guy has made a whole career over bitching about Hot Pockets. And he’s still around…WTF?
One of my friends is a fan of Gaffigan so we took him to see a show for his birthday…oh probably at least a decade ago. I thought it was funny enough but no way I’d pay to see the guy again.
As a fan, I’ll come to his defense. He’s done a bit more than one Hot Pocket routine. From his bio: Jim Gaffigan is a six-time Grammy nominated comedian, actor, writer, producer, two-time New York Times best-selling author, three-time Emmy winning top touring performer, and multi-platinum-selling recording artist. A top ten earning comedian according to Forbes’ 2019 comedy list, Jim recently released his 9th stand-up special, Comedy Monster, on Netflix. He was also recently awarded for being the first comedian to reach one billion streams on Pandora.
lol Pandora
That’s a tasty oversimplification. But sure.
He’s clean without making a big whoop of it and he’s still generally funny
…and what’s with old comedians? Who are these old comedians?!
I’ve heard this movie was coming, but for some reason I always assumed it was an animated comedy. It never occurred to me until seeing this still that it might be live action.
“a project Seinfeld has been talking about regularly for years”
Yeah, he’s been talking about it for the two years since it was announced.
Good catch.
Worth mentioning that Kelloggs had a labor dispute in late 2021 that painted them in a very unflattering light by denying wages to workers under difficult working conditions and forcing a labor strike.They want you to forget that and enjoy the history of Pop Tarts instead.Don’t forget to buy some too!
I look forward to the niche fetish porn parody “Top Parts.”
As well as their farce about a failed kitchenware gadget, “Pot Tarps”.
Or about everyone’s favorite Chris to hate, “POS Pratt”
Based on what, again? That he’s a member of a church that might or might not have conservative leanings, and he’s therefore MAGA? Seems weak, but it wouldn’t be like the internet to blow something like that out of proportion.
Lighten up, Francis. It’s just an anagram joke.
This dude had his chamber full and cocked ready to blast anyone who dared insult the Crisp Ratt
Not attacking you–or anyone, really–just wondering out loud why he had, in fact, become the enemy of the terminally online.
I think it was a group of actors named “Chris” in big tentpole movies hit the snark fan and spat out “worst Chris” memes. The affiliation with a somewhat fringe Christian group that was ALSO getting drug at the time was all it took.
Not to mention it was outspoken in its homophobia, and he never attempted even the most milquetoast disagreement, leading to the (somewhat reasonable) assumption that he agreed with it
I can’t wait to share that one with the crossword community and watch them riotously nod their heads in approval!
The church definitely has anti-gay leanings. There’s no maybe about that. He’s distanced himself from that, so he’s basically done what anyone else who goes to church has to do (deny that it’s a fundamentally flawed institution that supports all kinds of patriarchal and colonial oppression).But I think what really pissed off “the internet”, as you put it, is his divorce from Ana Farris, and the general mid quality of his work. It really peaked when he was cast as Mario, a part he played just fine, but brought absolutely nothing extra to.If he’d stayed a small-time celeb like when he was on Parks and Recreation (and probably if he never got in better shape) he’d probably still be well-liked.I don’t hate him, but he’s not exactly someone who gets me excited about movies he’s attached to.
“Pop Tarts” already works as one in the UK.
Honestly, they wouldn’t even have to change the second word. Top Tarts works just fine as a porn title.
In the UK, “Pop Tarts” is the tabloid name for hot young female singers, so it’s already its own porn name.
did not expect seinfeld to be acting as well as directing. considering he hasn’t acted in about 30 years and wasn’t that good even then, it’s troubling!
He’s made a billion dollar career out of it his bad acting though. Kudos to him.
He got to marry a child too. Pretty cool guy all around.
In fairness, he was playing himself, so… didn’t really need to go full Daniel Day-Lewis.
This is gonna earn me some flack (probably mostly from the Boomers in the room), but here goes…Jerry Seinfeld is about as funny as a stage 4 cancer diagnosis.Hard pass.
What’s everyone’s favorite Pop Tart? Mine are the Brown Sugar Cinnamon.
Frosted blueberry. Not even close.
Yeah, Brown Sugar Cinnamon by a mile, though I remember having a fondness for *ahem* Frosted Wildlicious Wild Berry. Any of the frosted fruit jams will do. Just really hard to go wrong there.
Brown Sugar Cinnamon is my old standby, though some of the limited-time flavors turn out pretty good. There was some sort of cookie dough flavor one a couple of years ago that was way too sweet for breakfast, but made for a good snack/dessert.
Frosted strawberry. I know, it’s basic. But I can’t help but love the classic.
Frosted apple.
My 2nd favorite are S’mores. But yeah, BSC stands alone at the top of the Pop-tart mountain.At 3rd is probably raspberry.
Mine is the long discontinued peanut butter and jelly. I want to taste one again if only to find out if it’s really as delicious as I remember or if my sense of taste was too unrefined to notice its flaws.
Ngl but that sounds kind of gross in pop tart form. And I LOVE actual PB&Js.
That might explain why they were discontinued. But the PB&J pop tart still has it’s fans. There are dozens of us. Dozens!
I miss Sriracha Pringles.
Do they still make those chocolatey fudge ones? If not, bs cinnamon.
They do! Had some a while back. Strangely they don’t really hold up as well (to me at least). I feel like there’s a point where you can hit TOO much chocolate and those surpass it.
We are kindred spirits
The chocolate kind.Why even have other flavors if chocolate is available?
I was always a fan of chocolate, but mostly because it felt like eating dessert for breakfast. Pretty sure health-wise it was as well.
well DUH! to both statements.
Toaster Strudels.
Unfrosted strawberry with Nutella spread on after toasting.
S’mores
If you’re talking FROSTED BSC, I’m with you!
I’m partial to Chocolate. When we were kids, my parents use to get variety pack Pop Tarts for us and they never included chocolate and it sucked
My grandparents did that too back in the day when we’d visit. They only had strawberry, blueberry, and cherry, and it drove me nuts.
Team Frosted Strawberry.
But look closer, dear reader: The printing of the name is reversed, taking the normal, even stolid, word “Pop-Tart,” and transforming it into the far sillier “Trat-Pop.” Even worse, Armisen’s character is looking at a rubber stamp in front of him with confusion and disgust, as though he’s somehow at fault for this mix-em-up! This part is definitely a joke right? The image is just reversed and the stamp is from that contract or whatever. It’s a joke…I’m fine.
I don’t think the image is reversed. It’s Saturday and I have nothing better to do right now, so:The word “APPROVED” is correctly oriented on the paper McCarthy is holdingArmisen’s stamp is indeed related to that paper (it says “APPROVED” in reversed letters)There’s also a Kellogg “K” logo (oriented correctly) on the painting in the backgroundThe “Kellogg” logos on the boxes are correctly orientedThe “R” and “P” letters in on the boxes’ “TRAT-POP” are correctly oriented; if the image was reversed you’d expect to see them backward
Seinfeld and Gaffigan are shaking hands, using their right hands (normal in American culture)
You’re 100% right…thank you for your time.
Are we all going to reminisce about how Bee Movie was Seinfeld’s Citizen Kane? It was complete crap.
If you would have listened to weekly episodes of the Spike’s Car Radio podcast, you would have heard some info about the movie. Spike Feresten, who was a writer for Seinfeld (the soup nazi episode amongst others) and is a friend of Jerry’s, worked on the movie with Jerry. Jerry is on the podcast regularly, mostly talking about Porsche’s but also talking a bit about the movie.
Tom Lennon is in this movie and he said the plot is basically The Right Stuff but about Pop-Tarts. I can’t wait.
Harry Shearer and Jeff Goldblum better be in this as the anonymous Kellogg’s R&D scouts – or K-men, if you will – hunting down new breakfast foods. “WE KNOW. SIT DOWN.”
The All these Goddamn Advertisements Masquerading as Movies Cinematic Universe.
“There was an idea, to assemble a balanced breakfast…”
I’m here to talk to you about the Montezuma’s Revengers Initiative.
“It went horribly wrong and for some reason we came up with a pouch of triple-bleached, nutrient-free flour-and-palm-oil casing surrounding a chemical goop comprised mostly of high-fructose corn syrup and flavourings that a chemically – and, more importantly – legally identical to some stuff that may be found in fruit.”
I didn’t have Pop Tarts much growing up (obviously for the best), but whenever I did the S’mores ones were my jam.
Some of us remember when Pop Tarts weren’t frosted at all. They were practically a health food!
Did you ever put butter on a Pop-Tart?
I have not forgot the treatment Kellogs gave to their employees during the strike. Not even Seinfeld will get me to look at, much less buy this product.
Is Netflix even legally allowed to make a movie without Noah Centineo or Jacob Elordi in it?
A lot of the cast does look good though… Rachael Harris, Dan Levy, Thomas Lennon.. I’ll consider watching it, even though Unfrosted sounds like a after-show for Nailed It!
How is Jim Gaffigan not in this?
This is going to be a contest to see which “comedian” can suck all the humor and life out of a scene. Hamfest 2024. My money is on McCarthy, although that might be because her recent series of travel ads has made me dislike her even more than previously.
Ads? Are those still a thing?
What do you think this whole movie is?
Also photographic proof that Jerry Seinfeld looks like the Wish version of Bobby Cannavale.
AV Club Mad Libs:We finally have proof of (a celebrity)’s (adjective) (breakfast food) movie
Maybe they held it until the strike ended? That’s the only thing I can think of. I saw that execs saw a final cut in Nov 2022.