John Cena wore a “flesh-colored pocket” during the streaker gag at The Oscars… want to see it?
John Cena wasn't really naked during one of The Oscars' funniest moments, unfortunately
Aux News John Cena
One of the best parts of last night’s Oscars telecast was John Cena’s jokingly reluctant participation in a gag that called back to a classic Oscars moment when the show was interrupted by a streaker in the ‘70s. After failing to dissuade host Jimmy Kimmel from making him follow through on the gag, Cena—wearing nothing but sandals—carefully scooted out onto the stage and made the long walk to the microphone with the winner’s envelope covering his, you know, area. Of course, he wasn’t really naked, but how did the Oscars pull off that little bit of onstage magic?
Why, with a “flesh-colored pocket sans straps that covered his front and back areas,” of course! That’s how The Hollywood Reporter described the garment (to the extent that it even counts as a garment), saying its one of two types of modesty-protection devices that are popular with on-set intimacy coordinators these days. Cena’s was “like a strapless thong that is attached with a little bit of adhesive in the front and the back,” as opposed to the other one that “resembles a coin purse or drawstring bag.” Masculine fashion is fascinating, isn’t it? All these little pouches and sheathes to hide everyone’s dingles and dongles.
Variety has a piece today about behind-the-scenes stories from last night, including some details about the show’s producers concerns about the streaker gag—including worries about “not just a fine from the FCC, but potential complaints.” So, to make sure nothing was left loose and flopping around, the producers carefully worked with ABC to determine what, exactly, they could get away with. They were told that they could not show “bulge” or “crack,” so in order to avoid that, Cena’s was fully covered from behind and the envelope with the winner’s name was attached to the aforementioned flesh-colored pocket with Velcro.
But enough of this tip-toeing (more like tip-toeing, right?) around the dinkus and the donkus, we all want to see the thing! Show us the thing!
This is, admittedly, probably the worst view, but it’s the only one we’ve got. It looks like he injured his whole butt and is wearing a complicated bandage, or he sat on a sticky piece of paper, or his muscled legs burst through a regular pair of underwear as he transformed from Billy Batson or Prince Adam into the mighty John Cena.
The Hollywood Reporter also spoke to the co-founder of Covvier, a company that makes garments like this for filming sex scenes, and while they didn’t personally make Cena’s flesh-colored pocket, their particular brand of flesh-colored pockets are proving so popular that they’re selling out. So, for anyone out there who doesn’t want their stuff bouncing in everybody’s face, you better pick up a pocket in your preferred flesh-color ASAP.
40 Comments
It was sort of cute, but it was too much.
If this were Cannes, he’d have had his wedding tackle out, no worries, no envelope.
Yeah, well, you know, Europe.
I know Europe, biblically.
Nice!
Looks like he’s got the Birkenstocks
Only way it could be weirder is if he were wearing crocs.
lol.
They’ve got the skin-tone color all wrong.
Right? Colour-matching by Johnson & Johnson!Geez, does this “Hollywood” place have any sort of costume designers or makeup or prosthetics experts…?
I know! You’d think that Hollywood could at least make it look a bit better. 🙂
Man, I’d be afraid of becoming spontaneously erect on-stage and having David Niven’s ghost laugh at my tiny boner and then pooping myself out of shame. That’d be the worst!
Is that a problem you have? I think I’d be so nervous the little spider would be in my large intestine.
As much as I like Cena, I have to believe that his frame is not entirely natural. Doesn’t steroid use help tamp down the erection problem?
He’s from my general area, and I ran in a college friend circle with one of his neighbors. Apparently the Cena boys were always friggin’ huge. John was just the biggest genetic freak.
Again?
Is this more proof that woke is dead? Or did we need full frontal male nudity for that? The rules are a bit confusing these days.
Is Woke in the room with you right now?
It’s Woking from inside the house!!!
Oh hell no…https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woking
Didn’t someone recently say the Barbie cameo was beneath him? Is he trying to prove somebody wrong?
What? He doesn’t strike me as a guy who takes himself too seriously.
The guy is a wrestler. Nothing is beneath him.
good point.
Except opponents.
Not only is he a wrestler, but he is a wrestler that raps his own entrance music and released an entire rap album.
Except his opponent’s inert, lifeless body after he piledrives him into the canvas, brother! Boo-yah!!!
I think it was his manager or publicist that thought the cameo was beneath him initially, and Cena pushed to do the cameo.
Of course he wasn’t completely naked. If he had been, then a slip of the wrist and he’d be hanging dong on national television.Either way, John Cena’s a good sport.
I would say that he is naked.
Only in that rather odd North American definition of naked where somebody is described as being naked when they are still wearing underwear. Weird.
There is only one (very small) non-naked area, which is presumed to be naked. He is naked.
What’s the use? We can’t see the guy anyway, let him flop freely.
It looked like Margot Robbie wasn’t complaining
Bro gotta reign in the moral degeneracy or he’s gonna have to apologize to Xi again
I actually like this version of Cena over the action star Cena
On Peacemaker alone, this version is the action star Cena.
Yeah Peacemaker was great, as long as he stays away from OG style action hero, you know no jokes, I can dig it.
the sheer number of people commenting about Illuminati and “humiliation ceremonies” or whatever makes me genuinely depressed and worried Trump will likely win the next election
He’ll win with the help of Russia’s, China’s, Iran’s, and North Korea’s cyberterrorism farms. His actual supporters are the minority.