Jonathan is “Bride Of Grooming” and Tan is “CEO Of Shirts” in this “bot”-written Queer Eye script
Aux Features TV
Bot-written scripts—wherein a bot presumably watches several hours of a certain show, then tries to recreate it—are usually pretty hit or miss. This latest one, a send-up of Queer Eye from UCB comedian Keaton Patti is straight-up hilarious, even though the “bot” part seems rather dubious. For one thing, Patti says that the bot watched 1,000 hours of QE, when only 32 episodes currently exist. Sure, the bot could have watched the whole thing on a loop. Or this all could just be Patti’s own undeniably funny bit. Much as we would like to think a bot could come up with a phrase like “skincare poutine,” we kind of doubt it.
Nevertheless, the Queer Eye “bot” script is still well-worth a read. The “Fabbed” Five get more appropriate monikers like “Groceries Professor” (Antoni), “Builder Of Every Structure On Earth” (Bobby), “Culture Daddy” (Karamo), “CEO Of Shirts” (Tan), and “Bride of Grooming” (Jonathan). The group heads out in a truck “that has good self-esteem” before they see “who they will make cry tears today.” Groceries professor Antoni sees no guacamole and is worried, asking, “What do you put in your stomach?” and offers to bake a lime. But this smart bot also wisely realizes that Bobby does the work of the other four guys put together, with lines that witness as “Antoni screams until Bobby builds a dam” and Bobby building “five new mansions from unclaimed sand.” Sounds about right.
Queer Eye season four recently dropped on Netflix and is also tremendously entertaining, although it is in fact probably going to make us cry tears today.
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It bums me out that Onion contributors actually made a system by which people could create bot-generated versions of things (thanks, Botnik.org!) and after a couple of their scripts got insanely popular, comedians decided to cut out the middleman and just pretend they were doing the same thing.There was an excellent football season prediction written by a bot on /r/nfl that captures why I think these were funny in the first place; when you feed them samples of a specific kind of writing long enough, the bot starts to lean on the same writing crutches as their subject material (adverbs for J.K. Rowling, hyperbole for NFL sportswriters). When comedians pretend to do it, they just want an excuse to write tropey dunks on something.
Yeah, came here to say this. This just feels so very tired, to me. COMEDIAN: Funny to bot be! Here are words.INTERNET: Ha ha, those words don’t combine, you are king.COMEDIAN screenshots Twitter likes, sends screenshot to landlord.COMEDIAN: Here is rent for this month. THE AV CLUB: We are all geniuses!
If the landlord accepts it, then yes, we are all geniuses.
Keaton Patti’s “bit” for some has been “I forced a bot to watch 1,000 hours of ____ and write its own,” because he can’t come up with anything truly funny, so he just farts out some bumbled words and waits for those unfamiliar with his schtick to pick it up and blast it out. A 10-second scroll through his feed would have showed you this. Congratulations on being the latest.
Keaton Patt’s Bot bits are usually pretty great. I actually didn’t get a bit laugh out of this one, but if it gets more people to read his Dada-esque Twitter comedy, I’m all for it.
“skincare poutine”. that’s something I can add to vocab.
99.9% of those “bot” Twitter jokes *spoiler* weren’t actually written by bots. Along the same lines, Santa Claus isn’t real
Bobby is the heart and soul of that show ❤
I don’t understand the “over 1,000 hours” part. There are 32 episodes total, almost all under 50 mins long. Why would you put it on an endless loop? What does inputting repeated eps do?
I am impressed at how nakedly this one gives the game away. A+.