Kanye West, once one of the most widely celebrated musicians of our day, has lost some of his market value over the last couple of years. Having rebranded himself as both a big time Trump guy and the kind of super-enthusiastic Christian who calls all non-devotional music “secular” and abhors nasty curse words, Ye has lost fans and, most crucially, the kind of cultural cachet that allows an artist to command Coachella to build him a giant dome.
To solve this problem, and enhance his value as a performer, West has now introduced an exciting, very expensive new look to end the year: A special, limited-time variant Kanye completely covered in silver.
Silver Kanye debuted at yesterday’s performance of Mary, the second Bible-and Yeezy-centric pseudo-opera West has put on within the last month. As is appropriate for any retelling of Christ’s birth in a humble manger, West’s take on a nativity play was held at the Miami Marine Stadium and, according to Pitchfork’s summary, was “accessible only via motorboat.”
In a special, festive touch, nearly all of the performers dressed in—and had their faces painted—silver, including the star of the hour himself. They performed a mix of songs from West’s catalogue and Christmas hymns and, in a show of seasonal humility, wrapped things up by returning Silver Kanye to his home planet in a fancy boat while the orchestra played them off.
In terms of modern day Kanye bullshit, all of this is pretty much business as usual. Still, one thing we can be thankful for is that the visuals accompanying the whole thing have led to a bunch of really incredible photos for everyone to enjoy.
Clearly, we were wrong to ever question Kanye’s genius. First off, it’s impossible to think of any better encapsulation of the Christmas spirit than an extremely wealthy man dressed like the silverware kept in a drawer for special family dinners, sipping champagne from a flute smeared with chrome glitter. And, secondly, regardless of how far West ends up diminished as a force in music, this striking new look is sure to capture the hearts of a whole new generation—one whose holiday memories will forever be bound to the time when they excitedly unwrapped their shining Silver Kanye action figures or placed their twinkling Silver Kanye ornaments atop the Christmas tree.
[via Uproxx]
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49 Comments
Can someone tell me what male person in the Kardashian orbit has NOT gone insane?
The original Robert?
Ok, this is fair. He also peaced out before shit got reaaaaaally wacky.
you mean the one who was friends with OJ in the first place
I guess just like everyone else in the Bay right now Kanye can’t stand the rain either.
I told you all he was a crazy talentless hack in 2005. Can you hear me THIS time?
was Kanye also on the island?
NOT KIMS BOAT
just know y’all, Kanye gonna run for POTUS in 2024. Betcha these pics come back for the ad buys …
Not buying it. He wanted a break from everything so his people hired a double. When they realized the guy didn’t look close enough to Kanye, he said, “Paint him silver” and just left.
How long before Ray J shows up somewhere painted gold because he finished first?
Super underrated.
Hmm, I’m not really sold on what they did with Dr Manhattan there.
They didn’t have the budget for CGI or any blue paint on hand.
There is a giant dick in all the photos, though.
Kanye,Get help bro, seriously.-Everybody
Kanye,I don’t give two fucks about you, seriously. Make your next project a deep dive into what happens when you drive a gold-plated limo off a cliff.-Me
Nice
Wasn’t it the Scarecrow who was looking for a brain, though?
He’s a Trump supporter so he needs a heart and a brain.
Also a enema
Yeezus is Gotham?
Buddy Ebsen was slated to play the Tin Woodman in the 1939 film version of The Wizard of Oz, but he had to be replaced after the aluminum makeup used with his costume made him gravely ill.
He’s likely a highly intelligent person with associated mental issues that come with this, in some cases, who never got the help he needed as a youth and is now permanently shielded from that help he still desperately needs by his money. At this point it will take a 5150 hold act on his part for this to ever happen. The signs have always been there but the nail in the coffin in these cases usually comes in the form of extreme, sudden deep dives into religion.
He just gets more insufferable every day.
And plumper.
Yeah, gaining weight is quite often a side effect of being on a ton of prescription medications.
Why does this man think he can be a designer? This whatever it is garment is so amazingly unflattering on him. I assumed he hasn’t had a massive weight gain recently or something? Also he’s married to the queen of contouring her make-up, this could have used just a little subtle shading so his face didn’t look so weird.
This is what happens when you have chronic mumps. This guy is a fucking clown.
Damn. Kanye hasn’t been skipping the biscuits. Patton Oswalt calls this B fat. So fat it affects the way you pronounce b words.
Haha he sucks now. Well, bye
Pic made me think maybe he was reviving Melvin Belli’s role in Star Trek for an upcoming Discovery episode.
Honestly, out of all the dumb shit Kanye did over the past 2-3 years, this is the least problematic by far. Like, if the pretentious fucker from The Flaming Lips did this, no one would bat an eye.
It’s harmless and kind of honestly wacky. I would love if Kanye’s craziness was limited to fun shit like silver body paint.
Silverface is WRONG, Kanye.
Logan’s Run Box: Fish, and plankton. And sea greens, and protein from the sea. It’s all here, ready. Fresh as harvest day. Fish and sea greens, plankton and protein from the sea. And then it stopped coming. And they came instead. So I store them here. I’m ready. And you’re ready. It’s my job. To freeze you.
I’m tired of people saying it’s “hard to defend” Kanye… you should have stopped defending him yearrrrsss ago. I think the last time Kanye was just a talented rapper was around his musical guest spot on Chappelle’s Show. Shortly after that he was chasing Kim Kardashian and it’s been all downhill from there.
Just because we’re talking about Kanye, just wanted to let everyone know (who didn’t know) that his original version of Selah, before Jesus is King, is absolutely incredible.
This is pretty low-impact compared to calling slavery a choice, but if it in any way hastens Kanye’s decline into irrelevance so that we can just stop the fuck talking about him, already, then two silver thumbs up from me.
Eh, give it six months or so and he’ll be off the Super-Christian thing and on to some other nonsense he deems really, really important and more indicative of his “genius”.
I guess it’s better than his other fashion mode of dressing up like a ratty couch
This is a great example of the dangers of huffing spray paint. He’s open with it now. No more paper bag and scrubbing silver off your lips, just open wide and breathe the fumes. That’s the only reasonable explanation for this and past adventures.
This is a reveal for his new album Jiffy Pop Robot Barbershop. On sale wherever people still give a shit.
I assume Kanye ended the show by yelling, “I am shiny and chrome! I WILL RIDE ETERNAL!”
WHAT A LOVELY DAY
I would love to peek at Kanye’s 2019 tax returns and see if he’s filing tax exemptions for all the millions he’s made selling tix and merch for his so-called “Sunday Services”
He should have just swallowed the paint instead.