Lilly Singh foils a horror villain who doesn't know what women do to themselves every day
Aux Features Lilly Singh
Wednesday’s A Little Late With Lilly Singh saw the late-night host tied to a chair in a filthy basement, screaming for help at the sight of one of those masked, menace-voiced murder types that horror franchises love so much. (Honestly, his knobbly white face mask was way too close to the Jigsaw puppet, but if you’re flaying people in your murder-cellar, copyright law probably isn’t something you worry about.) With the terrified Singh asking what this dastardly, be-jumpsuited menace has in store for her, the would-be killer boasts of his sadistic plans regarding her eyelids, feet, fingernails, ribcage, and even teeth, pulling out a series of nasty-looking implements that surely could only have sprung from the fevered, fractured mind of a woman-hating madman.
Well, sure, Singh had to concede, that guillotine-looking contraption intended to pull her delicate, membranous lids away from her face so he can sear animal fur to her eyes with stinging, poisonous glue did look pretty awful. Almost as bad as the thing that she paid someone to do to her in middle school that time, since, you know, people said pictures are forever, and everyone else was doing it. Momentarily taken aback at the thought that his satanic thunder had been stolen, the killer then whipped out some sort of horrible foot-mangler, intended to twist the helpless Singh’s tender feet all out of shape and, wait, what? “It was more like a strappier stiletto, but definitely the same arch,” Singh explained to the once-more dismayed would-be Freddy Krueger, describing what her new Louboutins recently did to her.
Well, what about the series of small files, intended to mar and warp Singh’s fingernails into unnatural points, and—oh. Well, what if he strapped Singh into a constricting midriff device that keeps her from taking even a single regular, cleansing breath? (Waist-trainer on top of Spanx is already in place.) All right, but no murderously misogynistic fiend could come up with the thought of filing down Singh’s natural teeth, only to cram painful fakes right over the stubs! Veneers, you say? Hot wax, right on the nether regions? Anything? Exasperated (and a little grossed out) the killer finally had to admit he was whipped when it comes to inventing ways for men to torture women, letting the apologetic Singh go back to the world of male-conceived beauty standards. Twist.
19 Comments
It was funny. Not laugh aloud funny, but it had an amusing atmosphere? Maybe you just have to be a woman to really appreciate it. Jigsaw wouldn’t care about originality though, he’d just put her head in a bear trap.
I watched this show for for the first time in months. The bit I loved was her talking about the terrorists in America who we really need to watch for, the ones that employ guys named Greg. Enjoy this:
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend made this exact same joke, in a better way, 5 years ago:
I got some bitches to apologize to!
Well thank god you’re here to promote white people’s work over people of color
Big Mind of Mencia fan?
What?
Jesus, I’m a leftist nutjob SJW and even I think this is ridiculous.
Ok!
Cuz obviously that was what he was trying to do!? Whatever.. He likes one version of a joke better than another. Big whoop. It’s not a mutually exclusive situation.Things can be compared without factoring race into it immediately. At a certain point, bringing up race becomes rascist.
Nah dude’s got a long history of this“bringing up race becomes rascist”Oh
Yeah, you do have a long history of doing this.
Pointing out subtle racism? Sure!
Key and Peele — Could be worse!
Now, did the AV Club do a writeup of that scene, one where they detailed every single thing that happened, thus draining it of any humor? No?Well, I guess that’s Lilly Singh, 1, and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, 0. Wait…
I would’ve preferred Hasan Minaj’s or Michelle Wolfe’s shows over Lilly Singh’s- how her show can survive longer than either of theirs is bizarre.
She captured a larger audience that stays with her longer, perhaps?
I don’t rule that out, there’s some possibility of that. I’d say it’s more to do with Netflix’s production constantly trying to reinvent the wheel.
I enjoy the AV Club and generally enjoy what Dennis Perkins writes (and am also pretty strongly left-wing in my views), but do we really need to repost literally any piece of content with a left-wing lean, no matter how tacky it is? I know this site has an incentive to appeal to a broad liberal audience, but it sometimes feels like being beaten over the head with views you already hold