Missy Elliott, John Mulaney to co-star in Cinderella movie we guess we have no choice but to go see
Aux Features Film
There’s something profoundly irritating about really good movie casting, the kind that can happen when a perfectly called shot tips a film—Camila Cabello’s upcoming Cinderella, for instance—from “Why the fuck are they making another goddamned Cinderella movie?” to “Welp, guess we’re going to go see another goddamned Cinderella movie.” Casting, like, say, bringing in Missy Elliott to play a hopefully-more-prominent-than-it-sounds role like “Town Crier,” or general all-purpose delight John Mulaney as one of the mice-turned footmen that’ll get Cabello’s magic-assisted shoe-loser to the big and fancy ball.
This is all per Deadline, which also notes that Minnie Driver—and hey, who doesn’t like Minnie Driver?—is also going to play the prince’s mom, Queen Beatrice, which seems like a part she could, irritatingly, absolutely nail. She joins a cast that includes Pierce Brosnan, Billy Porter, Idina Menzel, Nicholas Galitzine, Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer, and fuck, we forgot Billy Porter was going to play the Fairy Godmother in this. God damn it!
Also officially joining the cast: James Corden (who’s responsible for this whole annoying nightmare, having produced the whole damn project into existence), who’ll play another mousefootman. Meanwhile, the third member of the assisting trio will be played by British comedian Romesh Ranganathan—and this one is just cruel, because we’ve just been getting into the absolutely delightful British panel show Taskmaster, and Ranganathan is one of the best parts of that show’s first season. Shit! At this rate, we’ll be watching so many isolated YouTube clips of this stupid thing that we might as well just give in and watch it in full.
Kay Cannon (who also did the excellent Blockers, so hey, thanks for that) will direct the film, which is set to release next February—giving us so little time to get our affairs in order that it basically just seems heartless. Thanks a lot, cinema.
35 Comments
I’m not really sure what a Camila Cabello is, but this got much less interesting when I found out Missy Elliott is not playing the title role.
She is a singer/musician, although I think I may remember her best for that hilarious gif of Beyonce and Jay Z’s daughter Blue Ivy telling them not to applaud her performance. Nothing against her, but I too would have been more interested in Missy as Cinderella. I very briefly thought she would be Cinderella and Mulaney would be the prince. That would have been a sight to see.
Yeah like I’ll go see another rendition of Cinderella if Cinderella is played by a woman who isn’t the typical age, ethnicity, or body type of most portrayals and Prince Charming is played by a high waisted man with feminine hips. I have no interest in seeing another live action Cinderella in which she’s played by any random young singer. I’m not going to pay to see a rehash just because they cast interesting people in small roles.
She is a singer/musician, although I think I may remember her best for that hilarious gif of Beyonce and Jay Z’s daughter Blue Ivy telling them not to applaud her performance. Nothing against her, but I too would have been more interested in Missy as Cinderella. I very briefly thought she would be Cinderella and Mulaney would be the prince. That would have been a sight to see.
She did two songs that I dug, Havana and Find U Again but apart from that a whole lotta nothing.
Yeah, she’s only been a global superstar and five-time Grammy winner and the highest-selling female rapper in history for over twenty years. Whole lotta nothing.
They’re talking about Cabello.
Ope, my mistake.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro bro bro bro bro. Bro. Dude was asking about Camila not Missy Elliott. Unless perchance you can’t tell the difference between a Cuban American Singer and an African American Rapper. In which dude they’re not the same person. There’s like a 30 year age difference between the two.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro bro bro bro bro. Bro. I know. I knew that 12 hours ago. Someone else told me I’d made a mistake, so I said ‘Ope, my mistake.’ Read the comments before you start running your gob about shit that doesn’t matter. Bro.
Why you always so grouchy for dude? Go see a therapist I think there’s something wrong with you. You don’t need to be grouchy and snipy all the time dude.
Read the comments before you go full bro bro and maybe I wouldn’t have to be.
I clicked because Missy as Cinderella and Mulaney as the prince? Insta watch.Them as two minor characters to an overrated pop singer? Pass.
Yeah adding an element of “I’d never thought he’d be my type, but his snarky charm is winning me over” to a classic fairy tale romance could have been interesting.
I’m not really sure what a Missy Elliot is.
I was really hoping Mulaney would be playing the fairy godmother, and bringing some of the “fun mom energy” he brought to his impression of his real estate agent in ‘The Comeback Kid’.“This is a pumpkin *wiggles shoulders* could be a carriage.”
John Mulaney as Prince Charming: “Excuse me. I am looking for a princess, I have the Black Plague, I am new in town.”
Mulaney as the Evil Stepmother: “Eat ass, suck a dick, and sweep dust.”
But first he just shoves you a little.
This sounds fly … Supa Dupa fly.
I assumed upon reading the headline that Elliott and Mulaney would be playing Cinderella and the Prince. THAT might make me watch it.
I will almost certainly somehow manage to not see this, but yes, Taskmaster is indeed wonderful, and Romesh Ranganathan was a key part of what made me fall in love with it that first season.
Count me among those who are disappointed that Missy and John aren’t playing Cindy and her Prince. This is a “2am, I have insomnia and I came across it as I’m flipping channels “ movie. Or so I thought. But Billy Porter as the fairy godmother!?!?!? Oh, hell yes!!!! The costume choices alone are giving me chills.😎
That’s a good idea for a 12 minute short, but Billy Porter’s clothing power alone can’t carry a feature length movie.
True, true😎
I don’t know how well you can do fairy tales these days without having to constantly update the parts that our modern society has deemed “no way Jose.”
Also officially joining the cast: James Corden
Yeah, I’m not sure the collective awesomeness of Elliot, Mulaney, Porter, Driver, and Ranganathan is enough to offset how much I cannot stand that man.
You know he’s just going to nose his way to the front of things regardless of who’s involved, just like he always does. In Britain they call that ‘humour’.
There’s a lot of “Is It Worth It?” math going on here. Does a Billy Porter cancel out a James Corden? Does retread fatigue cancel out the joys of Missy Elliot? What do I do if I want to see Idina Menzel in non-Frozen-related roles, but not in yet another fairy tale?
I guess Lizzo and Frankie Muniz were busy.
“we guess we have no choice but to go see”.Unless you’re talking about yourself using royalty pronouns, you guessed wrong.
Agent: “Hey John, I want to run this past you: It’s a role that starts out as a mouse, you know, they carry filth and eat garbage and go everywhere. But then, thanks to some magic, it transforms into a very ordinary human servant!”
If this were another Disney live-action remake of an animated movie that didn’t need a live-action remake, then you SHOULD completely ignore all casting and just wait for the crap to come out on Disney+. Why pay for it twice, right?As this is a modernization of that story, there’s far less reason to treat it like it’s another creativity-free cashgrab barfed out by a risk-averse media congvomerate.
I read Billy Porter as Billie Eilish and was interested.
Now I am not.