Sam Bee cusses out the obscenity that is Texas’ “flagrantly unconstitutional” abortion-bounty law
Sometimes, right-wing attacks on women's rights just make you get your swear on
TV News Texas
On Wednesday’s Full Frontal, Samantha Bee found herself torn between surgically dissecting the ugly, anti-woman realities of Texas newest anti-abortion law and her desire—nay, need—to just curse out the people behind it. Sure, Bee came loaded for bear, research-wise, calling out the Texas GOP’s use of sketchy legal concepts like “sovereign immunity” (meaning nobody can sue over this nonsense because, technically, there’s no one Texas government official to sue). And she was unsparing in showing how the five conservative Supreme Court justices’ (including at least two credibly accused male sexual predators) used the Court’s so-called “shadow docket” to allow Texas’ Old West system of bounties on abortion-seekers (and, you know, people who drive women to abortion clinics) to stand on “procedural grounds,” a tactic actual, not-fundamentalist jurist Sonia Sotomayor correctly termed “bury[ing] their heads in the sand.” (Likely because the learned Justice took a deep breath and crossed out the line in her blistering dissent reading, “bury[ing] their right-wing, misogynist heads right up their clenched, Handmaid’s Tale asses” in the name of judicial propriety.)
Thankfully, the post of late-night host allows for a bit more leeway when it comes to expressions of exasperated, furiously acid contempt for the woman-hating Republican Party, as Bee was free to call out the five justices (Samuel Alito, Neil Gorsuch, voluminously accused sex creeps Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh, and token woman-hating woman Amy Coney Barrett) “fucking cowards.” Noting that the quintet’s decision allowing the implementation of Texas’ dipshit-deputizing, Soviet-style tattle-bounties was one whole paragraph they didn’t even bother to sign their names to (and about which the Court heard no arguments whatsoever), Bee went on to term this GOP-packed iteration of the highest court in the land “worthless.”
But that’s nothing compared to Bee’s scorn for the “useless twats” in Texas, led by Republican governor and obvious COVID double agent (and guy who doesn’t know how women’s bodies work) Greg Abbott. Noting that the now-legal $10,000 bounties dangled before every misogynistic busybody in the Lone Star State might be better used—just to pick literally anything—caring for the actual, existing human children in Texas suffering from home and food insecurity instead of monetizing the destruction of women’s bodily autonomy, Bee also noted that this law, like all anti-choice legislation, is entirely designed to hurt women, especially poor women and women of color. And if staunchly, smugly “pro-life” Republicans like GOP mega-donor and Trump accomplice in adulterous sleaziness Elliott Broidy get offended by Bee bringing up the inarguable fact that rich assholes will invariably attain abortions for the mistresses they extra-maritally knock up, well, that’s just too bad.
Showing that similar laws targeting a constitutional right for women to control their own bodies are being plotted in other, coincidentally COVID-ravaged states like South Dakota and Florida by those states’ Republican parties, Bee pointed out the hypocrisy of, say, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis vowing to protect “the sanctity of life” while actively suing to prevent school districts from protecting (once more, actual, living) children from a deadly pandemic. And, because she’s Bee, she also took swipes at North Dakota Governor and noted anti-science disease vector Kristi Noem’s right-hand “unborn child advocate” (one Mark Miller) for looking like he “broke out of a cloning pod before [he] finished,” but that’s just Bee enjoying herself. As to what’s to be done about this Court-approved, atavistic, woman-hating bullshit, Bee pointed viewers to organizations like The Lilith Fund, Texas Equal Access Fund, and the AFIYA Center, who are fighting “on the ground” to beat back the GOP’s extra-legal land grab, right into the uteruses of Texas’ women. Bee called the GOP the “anti-pussy posse,” which works on several levels.
20 Comments
I didn’t watch but I’m sure what Sam Bee’s take was, pretty sure I agree with her statements, pretty sure she cussed shrilly and wore a pantsuit that could be seen from the moon.
Sam Bee . . . Sampo! Sampo . . . Sam Bee!
Yep, she’d swear up a storm if she was celebrating a development, so that’s consistent.
However, the more voices that can be put out to break down the obscenity of Texas’ “new laws”/”new destroyers of human rights” to audiences, the better.
true
“If Sam Bee disagrees with what we did, then we need to do some serious soul-searching to see if we can win her over, or maybe we should just admit that we’re wrong and ask her forgiveness” – all the Texan Religious Right, I’m sure.
The absurd bounty scheme is not talked about enough. No slippery slope there, nuh-uh. Outlawing abortion is just the cherry on top, this is a smorgasbord of fascist power grabs. Wake up, the Republicans are fascists. The Supreme Court has been on the wrong side of history for all but about 40-50 years of this country’s existence. It is a death and suffering factory. It needs to be abolished. Its function may be necessary, but its form is a threat to democracy and always has been.
I’d actually argue that SCOTUS has worked as intended for the better part of our history. 50 years ago would literally include 1973 when Roe was originally decided. The reason last week was so jarring was because they have always acted as the backstop to this lunacy. This law is sloppy dog shit and clearly doesn’t stand up to legal scrutiny. The fact that they let it stand without even giving the legal reasoning why other than “it hasn’t harmed anyone, yet” is something I have never seen before.
The Dred Scott decision was blatantly racist and made the Civil War basically unavoidable.
Plessy vs Ferguson was blatantly racist, not to mention constitutionally indefensible given that it came after the 13-15th amendments. It absolutely shaped the 20th century and we are still dealing with its horrific fallout today.If that is working as the court was intended, I would argue that it was not ever well-intended. The court has pretty consistently taken the side of tyranny, with the exception of 1954-2000, but even that is pretty iffy given their LGBTQ record during that time.
Fair enough. Probably didn’t help that the underlying laws and precedents were already racist. “As intended” did not imply good or even moral. Just that there was an established process for how to uphold or strike down a controversial law. Last weeks decision was purely political and an end around that process.
I mean, if this is how justice works now, we should meet them! How about a $10,000 bounty for any New Yorker or Californian who reports a gun owner? Or maybe a bounty if you report someone who’s unvaccinated? We on the left need to stop hating the (very stupid) game and start playing it to win.
The Supreme Court is Game of Thrones BS that the US should have phased out decades ago. The almighty justices who shall determine which laws are worthy for the peasants probably seemed to make sense in the early days of our country, but it seems one step removed from witchcraft these days. Just create a large, nationwide collection of highly-experienced legal professionals who will collectively review and decide on these cases…and switch them out every two to four years! End this Supreme Court elderly death-watch silliness.
So there’s a new “comedy” lecturefest that is going to warrant a weekly Newswire item. Great.
At least John Oliver yells & cusses in a charming accent.
Thanks for contributing incel
Brilliant.
That I am
kill yourself
kill yourself
Noem is the governor of South Dakota, not North Dakota. Just FYI.
Do you really expect any level of “journalism” from the AV Club?
Does it really matter, do we need two Dakotas anyway ?