Sebastian Stan to kill the internet by playing young Donald Trump in a movie
Jeremy Strong and Borat 2's Maria Bakalova will also star in Ali Abbasi's The Student
Aux News Donald Trump
Hey. Hey! HEY.
Look: We know you’ve already seen the headline for this article, and the image, right up there, with Sebastian Stan and Donald Trump’s faces sitting next to each other, looking for all the world like they’re gonna start merging into some sort of horrifyingly haired goo monster with unsettlingly nice cheekbones. We know that this moment, probably, is one of the harder ones you’re going to have today, a psychic ordeal that can only come from reconciling an idea that the human brain simply isn’t wired to handle, i.e., “young, sexy Donald Trump.” It’s unpleasant, and nasty, but nevertheless hapening. And you can get through it. You can! Just take a deep breath, recite your calming mantras, and read this next sentence.
Sebastian Stan is playing Donald Trump in a new movie.
Fuck, they’re crashing. Fuck! We need a response team stat, we’ve got a reader crashing out from having to reconcile “Sebastian Stan” and “Donald Trump” occupying the same mental space—and we haven’t even told them yet that Succession’s Jeremy Strong is also starring in the film, from Holy Spider and The Last Of Us director Ali Abbasi! We could be heading for total cognitive shutdown! Strong is playing famous Joe McCarthy ally Roy Cohn, who was Trump’s mentor when he was a kid! Jeremy Strong and Sebastian Stan are going to act at each other, with their human eyes and faces, while made up to look and sound like Roy Cohn and Donald Trump! The human mind can’t handle this!
Fuck, we’ve lost them. It’s too much; “young, hot Donald Trump” is just too goddamn much. Let’s just get through the rest of the casting news, and, oh, Christ, Maria Bakalova from Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm is going to be in it, too, playing Ivana Trump. It’s called The Student. Oh god, now we’re crashing.
Ali Abbasi, what the hell did we ever do to you?
42 Comments
You know what, it’s a great cast and director, but can Hollywood not do Donald Trump movies? Or at least wait until he kicks the bucket? Because if you make a movie about Donald Trump now, it will give him the thing he values above everything else: attention. As soon as he finds out about this movie, it’s all he’s going to talk about. He’ll paint himself like a victim, like he always does, and use it to guilt your grandparents out of their social security checks.When it comes to Donald Trump, let’s just heed the advice of Paul Anka and…
For Christ’s sake. It is not the job of artists, or journalists, or anyone else, to cover only the things that you feel comfortable with being talked about.
I live for the day when I don’t hear its name or see it’s ugly deranged phiz somewhere. I know people who’ve stopped newsing.
you would think that, but when mac miller did the donald trump song (which did not at all paint trump in a bad light) trump sued him.
i know reagan was in movies so maybe that’s why, but have they never even attempted a reagan movie?
We all tried ignoring him in 2016, look where it got us.
Was Alec Baldwin not availab- oh, he wasn’t.
Because, sure, there was some value to civilization in writing this story this way.
You know how there’s anti-comedy, and anti-art? Is this the pop culture journalism equivalent? Anti-critique?
What even the hell was this?
We know that this moment, probably, is one of the harder ones you’re going to have today, a psychic ordeal that can only come from reconciling an idea that the human brain simply isn’t wired to handle, i.e., “young, sexy Donald Trump.”Pffft, ha. Ha. Ha ha! Ha ha ha haaa haaaaaaaaaaaa!Not even in the top ten harder moments of today, probably not in the top 20.When the whole world is seemingly lurching fitfully towards a dystopian hellscape, a puckishly dissonant casting announcement barely even registers as a hiccup.
Folks are asking, big burly folks with tears streaming down their faces, asking: “Please sir, WHY?”.Because studio folks think that there’s already money waiting to be harvested from this.
I hope they put so much makeup to make him look as stupid and ugly as possible that it becomes impossible to take seriously, like John Travolta as Robert Shapiro in American Crime Story.
If this movie isn’t likely to provoke Trump to file a defamation lawsuit it should not be made
Unless they fit Stan with a Dirk-Diggler prosthetic wang. Nothing would put a bigger smile on Trump’s face.
They should do that, but the prosthetic should keep getting larger and larger each time we see it (and of course we should see it repeatedly) until it’s like nine feet long and he’s dragging it around in a wheelbarrow and people are like, what the actual fuck
https://news.yahoo.com/donald-trump-once-threatened-sue-232740870.html
I know a few people who will be in the theater on opening night solely to watch the multiple scenes of Trump getting whizzed on by Russian sex workers.
After the Barbie movie caused a world-wide shortage of pink paint, this one might deplete its reserves of orange.
From the sequel:“ What we’ve got here…is a failure…to communicate “.
I would like the Steele Dossier to be made into a movie, and let’s say, Horatio Sanz to play Trump, or maybe Jorge Garcia.
Tig Notaro!
Everything Donald Trump just gets thrown into a black void in the back of my brain. I can’t give him anymore brain space.I am, however, concerned about what will happen to Jeremy Strong if he applies his intense, gonzo method to playing Roy Cohn.
“And that little boy, who nobody liked, grew up to be… Mark Strong!”
What’s Mark Strong done?
Jeremy* Strong!Never try to quote The Simpsons without your morning coffee.
UNDERRATED.
Stunned to learn here that Sebastian Stan’s quote is lower than their obvious first choice, a fetid rotting pumpkin atop two Hefty bags of pig shit stuffed awkwardly into a bad suit.
Rick Baker or Rob Bottin are gonna have their work cut out for them.
Why?
I’d rather kill myself than watch a movie about Donald The Criminal.
My pick to play Donald Trump has always been Action Bronson.
Strong is playing famous Joe McCarthy ally Roy Cohn Just strip Trump out of it (or make it a cameo) and do a better version of Citizen Cohn.Too few people know or understand how much of an absolute, deliberate, proud monster Roy Cohn was.
I recommend everyone just go to the Deadline article instead of trying to figure out what the hell this article is supposed to be: https://deadline.com/2023/11/the-apprentice-movie-sebastian-stan-donald-trump-1235643089/It provides the casting news and a helpful summary of the film: “Billed as an exploration of power and ambition, set in a world of corruption and deceit, The Apprentice will examine Trump’s efforts to build his real estate business in New York in the ’70s and ’80s, also digging into his relationship with infamous attorney Roy Cohn. It’s a mentor-protege story that charts the origins of a major American dynasty.”
I thought the movie was called The Student?
I don’t know what to tell you. I just quoted from Deadline.
Yeah seems like they flubbed. However, the Apprentice would be a better title actually.
On Monday, AV Club sister site Deadspin uploaded an article accusing a child of wearing blackface to a Kansas City Chiefs game, a claim that was quickly debunked. Today the site updated the article, but still failed to correct the erroneous claim.
To me this suggests that G/O Media websites not only publish false information, but stand by it, and therefore cannot be trusted. I will no longer be reading AV Club or any of its sister sites, and I strongly suggest any who continue to do so fact-check their claims vigorously. Please help stop the spread of misinformation!
……
I’m just so tired. So very, very, tired.