Sorry, Stretch Armstrong, but a neodymium magnet and some screws just spelled your doom
Aux Features Stretch Armstrong
Stretch Armstrong was born to die. Anyone who has ever had one of these dolls knows that eventually, inevitably, Stretch must be forced beyond his limits. Maybe you want to tie his pliable limbs into knots until it is one knot too many. Perhaps you and a friend each grab a limb and walk in opposite directions, until Stretch can stretch no more. Put him in the freezer and you can cruelly deny him his very nature. All Stretch Armstrongs must serve, all Stretch Armstrongs must die.
Not all Stretch Armstrongs deaths are equal, however, and here we have an Armstrong dying a true Spartan’s death on the battlefield. In the video above—from YouTube’s The Action Lab—Stretch has the misfortune of getting between some metal screws and a powerful neodymium magnet. As explained in the video, the magnet has a maximum pull force of one thousand pounds, its strength increasing with the amount of metal in its field. Stretch is laid atop the magnet, covered in hardware, and then the host attempts to remove him from the magnet. (No, he is not ripped apart by the magnet itself, as the video’s misleading thumbnail image implies.) As the screws increase in number on Armstrong’s nude torso, he slowly but surely succumbs to their piercing force, until he bleeds corn syrup.
R.I.P. Stretch, you are awaited in Valhalla.
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35 Comments
I just cut mine open to see what was inside. EDIT: Jesus Christ, it’s 4 minutes of the guy playing with coins before Stretch is put to the test, and then he immediately rams a screw into him rather than let the magnet do its work. Fucking stupid.
There is absolutely a LOT of “When are they going to get to the fireworks factory?” if you’re in it just to see Armstrong being tortured medievally.
Like many videos on Youtube it’s done badly by someone who has no presence and goes on for at least twice as long as it should.
And that’s why you never got that puppy you wanted.
My parents are just glad my little bro still has all his limbs.Not mention when my sister asked my parents if she cut off our little borther’s penis, would that make him a girl.
That, and the notebook they had full of puppy meat recipes.
Thanks for taking one for the team.
Yeah it’s like a grown up version of a kids unboxing video. I thought the magnet itself would fuck with Stretch because of science reasons and instead he just threw shit at a toy.
Yeah… That’s when I stopped watching, cause I thought the screws would be the nail in the coffin, not the bullet.
Yo, I just have one teeny, tiny thing to say to you……Soylent Green is People!!!
The AV Club just straight up showing snuff films now.
You know there are pets missing in this guy’s neighborhood.
I got a “Screwed to Death” notification for this?
Skip to 4 minutes in for the money shot if you don’t want to see him fucking around with pennies in his hand.
Why does he have that many vintage steel pennies?
“Hi! I’m Ben Grimm, and it’s time for another Science at the Baxter.”“What’s going on in here?”“Have a seat, Reed. Yeah, on that thing.”
Did anyone watch the Netflix Stretch Armstrong series? It was pretty fun. Same it’s not getting a season three, though.
Scrolled down for this, and here it is. Nice work
OH THE HUMANITY!
Poor Stretch, he didn’t deserve this.
The most interesting thing I got out of this bodes is that pull and pool are homophones in this guy’s dialect. It’s no pin-pen merger (or cot-caught, which is one that I have) but still.
[shrug]Pin and pen are homophones. Living in Texas, in first grade, pin and pen were presented as the first example to explain the concept of homophones to 6-year-olds.
I remember having my mind fucking blown when I realized that some people pronounce cot and caught differently. Also pour/poor.
I always think it’s funny when some Bostonian makes fun of me for pronouncing “pen” and “pin” interchangeably, and I can’t distinguish any difference between the words when they say them to tell me how I’m wrong.
Nah.
Canadians, however… Those people can pull it off.
“out of this video” even.
Man, the new Toy Story gets dark.
This is the sort of playing with magnets that will eventually find his body pinned to a refrigerator, just out of reach of a knife to cut his bloody pulped hand loose.
I will not be liking this video, so when the Stretch Armstrong’s of the world rise up against their makers, they won’t be trying to stretch me.
*Immediate searches on Amazon for neodymium 52*“Holy shit! They got that, too!”
This was quite disturbing.
Eh, he’s no Mr. Fantastic.