Taylor Nation continues to conquer as more cities bend the knee for Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour

Wasn’t it inevitable that we’d all eventually be forced to bow to our supreme leader, Taylor Swift? There are few pop culture forces as unstoppable as the Grammy winner on a hot streak. Cancel culture couldn’t halt her sword; in fact, it seems to have made her stronger. Now she’s conquering the U.S. city by city on The Eras Tour, with an eye towards the rest of the world. (“Time to reclaim the land, UK Swifties!” reads one inadvisable tweet from Taylor Nation. Call it Colonialism: Taylor’s Version.)

Far from being a hostile takeover, The Eras Tour hosts are falling over themselves to make Genghis Swift, the Napoleon of a new age, comfortable. It started with opening weekend, when Glendale, Arizona proudly renamed itself “Swift City,” where the grass is green (as the park where Swift used to read) and the girls are pretty (just like the thought of an invisible string between soulmates). But Swift set her sights on a bigger prize, dubbing the entire state “Erazona” for the duration of her stay.

Vegas was surprisingly subtle in paying its tithe (with an Eras-inspired light show at the Gateway Arches), but Arlington, Texas was properly unctuous in renaming one of its streets “Taylor Swift Way.” Tampa, Florida outdid them both by renaming the county Swiftsborough and not only offering the pop star a key to the city, but also naming her the honorary mayor of the city. “We can’t wait to welcome you and your fans to Tampa (Taylor’s Version),” the actual mayor, Jane Castor, proclaimed in her announcement.

Now the next stop on the Eras Tour, Houston, has fallen in line. County executive Lina Hidalgo, welcomed Swift the Sovereign with a litany of lyric puns, acknowledging she knew “all too well” that other cities had been bestowing honors upon her. “But we’re gonna do something even better,” Hidalgo promised, revealing that the stadium at which Swift will perform has been renamed “NRG Stadium (Taylor’s Version).” According to ABC 13, the venue will be unfurling banners to match the name change ahead of the singer’s three-day residency.

How will these stunts escalate as Swift’s travels continue? Will there be anything left of America at the conclusion of The Eras Tour? Will she be a benevolent ruler or a vindictive one as she seized back the kingdom keys? These are the questions on our minds as The A.V. Club continues to track the forward assault of Taylor Nation. May God, and the Swifties, have mercy on all our souls.