Taylor Swift’s new album has a track listing now
The Tortured Poets Department now comes complete with two LPs and Post Malone and Florence + the Machine guest spots
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Missing 420 by 24 measly hours, the release of Taylor Swift’s new album, The Tortured Poets Department, has more or less overshadowed last night’s Grammys and her 13th win. Nevertheless, it’s all money to Taylor Swift, who has opened a merch store and begun accepting non-tax-deductible donations for those poor, tortured artists. Curiously enough, this also means getting a peek at the tracklist and guest artists on the album. The double LP features guest spots from Post Malone and Florence + the Machine. Additionally, a “24-page book-bound jacket with three handwritten lyrics unique to this vinyl and never-before-seen photos” will also be available for purchase, with all proceeds going toward refueling a tortured private jet.
Here’s the tracklist:
“Fortnight” (featuring Post Malone)
“The Tortured Poets Department”
“My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
“Down Bad”
“So Long, London”
“But Daddy I Love Him”
“Fresh Out the Slammer”
“Florida!!!” (featuring Florence + the Machine)
“Guilty As Sin?”
“Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?”
“I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”
“LOML”
“I Can Do It With A Broken Heart”
“The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”
“The Alchemy”
“Clara Bow”
Bonus Track: “The Manuscript”
While we all can’t wait to hear a 34-year-old sing “But Daddy I Love Him” and learn whatever “LOML” means, we’re more excited by the conspiracy theories such a release can hold. Surely, Swifties are on top of connecting the dots between Taylor’s exhausted expression on the cover and which of her exes is “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” We’ll go with that weirdo from the 1975 she was running around with last year. Ditto for “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.” Maybe “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” is her much-anticipated Biden endorsement.
The announcement of a new Taylor Swift record will likely shape whatever reality looks like this April and, more directly, the tortured bong rips department on 4/20. Perhaps “The Alchemy” will be the track that takes those listening parties to the next level.
The Tortured Poets Department opens on April 19.
12 Comments
Such a terrible title. I’d expect something like this from Wilco, but not from her
Hey, at least one song title sounds like a line from Godfather 3. That’s…nothing at all.
Wilco would never put out a record with such a terrible title.
Wilco: The Album and Star Wars?
I don’t know, I like it. It seems alternative.
What is the point of a bonus track in 2024? It made sense with physical media where the track was hidden until you actually played the entire album. But with streaming? I don’t get it
Please, let “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” be a biographical track about Chandra Dangi. Every other song can be the usual Swift stuff, I just want a single track about the extremes of human dwarfism thrown in.
LOML= love of my life. common acronym you dweeb, do your research before posting halfassed articles
Joe Alwyn is going to get creamed.
LOML – Love of my life
Interesting how it’s Florence and the Machine and not just Florence
Mark it now – this is beginning of the end.
Is there anyone else putting out music?