All your questions about Taylor Swift’s boyfriend being in the Super Bowl, answered
Travis Kelce and the Kansas City Chiefs will take on the San Francisco 49ers during Super Bowl LVIII next Sunday
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The omniscient being running our simulation must be a teenage girl with big dreams, a full heart, and Red (Taylor’s Version) on repeat. How else do you explain the straight-out-of-Wattpad romance between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, who gave scores of teen girls actually living through it in our world plenty to write about when he kissed his famous girlfriend in the center of the field after officially securing his team’s spot in Super Bowl LVIII, kicking off (hehe) next Sunday in Las Vegas’ Allegiant Stadium? Another point in the all-powerful teenage girl column, as noted by (who else?) numerology obsessed Swifties: the Super Bowl will be the 13th game Taylor has attended since she and Travis went public with their relationship. Take that, physicists!
To some, this will feel like Taylor Swift’s Super Bowl more than any actual player’s. (At the very least, it will certainly be the first Super Bowl in history to generate multiple fan edits set to songs from Swift’s oeuvre.) But for 49ers fans concerned about the power of the universe being thrown behind their opposition, there is one small solace: Swift is kind enough to sit back on the bleachers and let her boyfriend have his moment, which she really has been doing this whole time. With that being said, what does Swift’s presence mean for this year’s game?
Will Taylor Swift even be there?
While it initially seemed like Swift’s February 10th Eras Tour stop in Tokyo might force her to miss the game, fans were quick to dredge up an old clip from The West Wing that bizarrely addresses this exact situation. (Well, not this exact situation—if the show had predicted that we’d probably have to throw in the towel on our sense of free will all together—but it’s still pretty close.)
As the clip explains, there’s a huge time difference between Japan and the United States, enough that Swift will cross the International Date Line on her flight to Las Vegas, essentially putting her a day back in time. If all goes well with the show and she’s able to leave in a timely fashion (which should be more than possible due to her whole private jet situation), that schedule still allows plenty of time for her to make it into the family box before kickoff.
Will Taylor Swift perform?
We all know Taylor loves a surprise song, but according to reports she won’t be performing one next Sunday (via TMZ). Beyond the fact that it must be nice to finally be an observer rather than a performer on such a grand stage, Swift had actually already turned down the opportunity long before she and Kelce were publicly an item. Usher will be the sole performer at this year’s halftime show, with Reba McEntire and Post Malone chiming in to sing the National Anthem and “America The Beautiful” respectively. Tiesto will also apparently be DJing throughout the game, too.
Will the Chiefs win?
We obviously don’t know for sure. But based on the story arc of almost every romance novel ever written… probably. Our deepest condolences, San Francisco.
16 Comments
Taylor’s presence guarantees that in the next 2 weeks we’ll be hearing much less, “I only watch for the commercials! Hey, did you hear me?? I said I only watch the Super Bowl FOR THE COMMERCIALS!!! Will somebody please pay attention to me already????” And for that, I thank her!
My dad was yelling at the game yesterday and bitching about it being fixed and rigged because of her. No, dad, you’ve been yelling about it being rigged for more than 40 years(I’m 44, I assume since before I was born) and still goddamn watch every weekend, it’s all on you now.
Sounds like your dad has been listening to Vivek Ramaswamy – his latest mind-boggling conspiracy theory is that the Super Bowl is rigged for KC in order to create an “artificially culturally propped-up couple” (Swift and Kelce) so they can endorse Biden.
Oh no my parents are ‘Curse at the TV when Trump is on’ liberals. I remember when I was young, then they were ‘Curse at the TV when Ronnie is on’ liberals.
I’ve only experienced this recently. I see it everywhere on social media. “It’s fixed!”,” It’s scripted!” I want to ask all of them WHYYYY in the Hell are they still watching. But then I remember all the “adults” that keep the pro wrestling machine chugging along.
Ah yeah social media is way behind as always. This is the same shit I’ve heard from him all my life, just with Taylor Swift thrown in now.
I don’t see a conspiracy, I just see shit officiating(among numerous other major problems with the sport) and stopped watching regularly almost a decade ago now.
It would be an understatement to say the “Fuck Your Feelings” MAGA crowd isn’t handling this like rational adults capable of controlling their emotions.
I’m enjoying the idea of the MAGA crowd being “forced” to root for a team from SF.
Since they hate big cities in general I think the Packers are all they have left.
It brings me great joy to watch adults, usually most always men, completely lose their shit in disgust because Taylor Swift gets shown on screen for 2 seconds maybe 3 or 4 times a game. I’m not even fan of hers (she’s fine, no strong feelings one way or the other) but the possibility of seeing more people lose their shit during the Super Bowl had me rooting for the Chiefs yesterday
It would be an understatement to say the “Fuck Your Feelings” MAGA crowd isn’t handling this like rational adults capable of controlling their emotions.
I think it’d be fun to start adding “(Taylor’s Version)” to other things, like github commits and funeral condolence greeting card messages.
I guess if you wanted to keep up with podcast jokes from several years ago
This wasn’t all planned long ago, was it? This isn’t some ‘long game’? If only we could ‘long game’ like this.I don’t care about Swift, per se, but it’s great to see her lead this feminine invasion.But when she leaves him she won’t be leavng an obscure British actor this time.
But what about the grown ass adults who just want to watch young(mainly black) adults destroy their bodies while old white guys make crazy ass amounts of money off of it?
I’m not sure what to say since I can’t stand organized sports myself. If you’re suggesting that Swift is a sort of cheerleader for the kind of injustice you’re refering to, that’s an excellent point. I doubt if it crosses her money makin’ mind. She’s not a real feminist; a proper feminst must talk about class, capitalism and race (but how they hate to these days). And now I’m wondering if Swift would actually ever date a Black man, since her choices are becoming so eclectic.
Not a chance.