The Ben Shapiro "WAP" remixes have arrived, much to Cardi B's… delight?

Aux Features Music
The Ben Shapiro "WAP" remixes have arrived, much to Cardi B's… delight?
Photo: Michael S. Schwartz

It was only yesterday afternoon that Ben Shapiro, right-wing political commentator and president of Conservative Lilliputians Of America lobby, held forth on Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “WAP,” a hilariously frank ode to banging that presumably sent clouds of steam from Shapiro’s ears when he first heard it. In the time since he got on air to read out the lyrics in the nasally whine of a true nerd puritan, he’s followed up on his success by claiming he’s in on the joke and tweeting about how he can’t turn on his wife.

The self-owns are great and all, but, as was clearly going to happen as soon as the indignant reading was done, it’s the many remixes of Shapiro’s audio that really make the most of the whole thing. @TheRareJayCray got to work immediately, sharing a version of “WAP” that gives it the stunted dork flow it was missing before. “Put this p-word right in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card,” Shapiro reads over the beat, careful to censor himself even as he delivers the heat.

There’s more where that came from. Lyle Rath and Elijah Daniel created their own versions, which both add Shapiro explaining that “p-word is female genitalia” as an aside and end with an assurance that “it gets significantly, significantly more vulgar.”

DJ iMarkkeyz added visuals to his remix, throwing in some camera bobbing to enhance the effect.

And, in what’s probably the best of them, @grandayy’s take uses an auto-tuned Shapiro as a sample that goes underneath his robotic verses.

The remixes have reached far enough that one of them, created by Timothy Burke, reached Cardi B herself. Her reaction encapsulates everything about Shapiro’s reading, which is simultaneously a way more “offensive” listen than the actual song and an incredible invitation to mockery.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]

65 Comments

  • marsupilajones-av says:

    How is “oh my god, they are using bad words in a song” still a thing?

  • robert-denby-av says:

    I will never understand the compulsion of politicians and commentators to use their platform to declare art offensive like this. It never ever goes well. The best case scenario is that you increase the exposure of the thing you’re trying to denounce. At worst you become permanently associated with the thing you’re denouncing as a puritanical scold.If you don’t like a piece of art, just…ignore it?

    • robert-moses-supposes-erroneously-av says:

      In fact, a good rule for all of us, especially public figures, is “if you don’t like something, ignore it.”Much like I spend 0% of my day thinking about Ben Shapiro.  

    • wuthanytangclano-av says:

      Being a troll with no real values or opinions, just arguments against ‘libtards’, he’s probably loving all this attention. Everyone is playing right into it

      • pocrow-av says:

        He’s also genuinely a weird creep. Maybe part of it is to get the approval of the other weird creeps who for some reason give him money, but Shapiro sincerely doesn’t like sex or women or black people or the idea that anyone is having fun at any time, especially without him.

        (A crucial component of having fun is not having Ben Shapiro around.)

      • whatanassh0le-av says:

        I’m sure he loves everyone knowing his wife can’t get wet, as that has to be some kind of fetish of his.

    • kmanweiss-av says:

      He’s not trying to appeal to the masses. He’s not trying to attract a new demographic. He has a demographic of pearl clutching, right wing, ultra conservative, bible thumping, white people. He’s just showing them things to reconfirm their biased views about people of a certain color, or people that do rap music, or scantily clad women, etc.He’s just being the echo chamber that his viewers want.  He’s not speaking to you or me, he’s speaking to our trump voting, catholic grandmothers who don’t understand today’s youth, but see baby face Ben as hope for our future.

    • Axetwin-av says:

      There are many, many, many (ad infinitum) people who could learn from the “don’t like? just ignore it” school of existing.

    • agentviccooper-av says:

      Censoring words and art has become primarily the domain of the left over the past five years or so.

    • jimisawesome-av says:

      The AV Club ran like 2 dozen stories about how the Joker movie would lead to mass shootings. Oblivious hyperbole is oblivious hyperbole to any pedantic police

      • stalkyweirdos-av says:

        Citation please.I mostly remember them saying it would increase the smugness of cornball incels, and here you are.

    • penguin23-av says:

      He’s gotta fill time on his youtube channel and/or podcast with something. This was probably considered an “easy target” and I’d imagine was well received by his fan base.

    • duckchubbin-av says:

      WAP is a weird choice, given it’s no dirtier than 1000 other mainstream pop songs of the past 30 years, and not even going for shock content like so many pop stars are in 2020. Cardi B has been around for 5+ years and this is tamer than her old stuff. Assuming yt algorithm randomly showed him the video and it gave him tingles in his tiny racist sexist nutsack, which is how he chooses all his content.

    • igotlickfootagain-av says:

      There’s a certain kind of privileged person who sees red as soon as they realise that a piece of art has been made with someone other than themself in mind, and they have to scramble to make it a moral issue so they don’t just look like a whiny baby.

    • jmg619-av says:

      He must have been like 12 yrs old when Lil Kim and Foxy Brown was doing this schtick, cuz this is nothing new. 

    • nilus-av says:

      Its because their platform pretend they are all about family values. Meanwhile propping up a leader who has openly admitted to being a giant sex pervert

  • thecoffeegotburnt-av says:

    “A bucket and a mop! I could see one or the other, but both! My word.”

  • timbo1971-av says:

    Ben Shapiro is someone that I legitimately would find it funny if his wife or children got terminal cancer. 

  • espositofan4life-av says:

    Of all the right wing grifters, Shapiro might be the smartest – which is to say, he knows what he’s doing and is creating these “viral” moments on purpose.

    • pocrow-av says:

      In the kingdom of the blind, etc.

      He’s not nearly as smart as he, or you, think.

    • marsupilajones-av says:

      I think you give him WAY to much credit. He does something stupid because that is what he does. It’s only once people start making fun of him that he pretends to be in on the joke.Its like the guy on the internet who gets proven wrong then claims he was just trolling the whole time anyway.

    • topsblooby-av says:

      Shapiro is incredibly mediocre and average. The same can be said about his “intelligence” and view points. I can hear 10 mediocre white guys just like him spout the same nonsense trying to masquerade itself as “intelligent debate”. Anyone who even thinks he’s an intellectual betrays their own capacities, or lack thereof. To think anyone even finds him insightful is quite frankly, pathetic.The thing most remotely above average about him is the sound of his voice, which is extremely insufferable. Nothing mediocre there.

    • burnerxabillion-av says:

      He’s a conservative political entertainer who knows exactly what he is doing.Much like Fucker Carlson or Rush Limbaugh.They spout out bullshit and their mindless followers support them and pay them to keep saying nonsense.And then their mindless followers parrot them.It’s quite the cycle. The only people that win are the entertainers who are getting paid.

      • galdarn-av says:

        “He’s a conservative political entertainer who knows exactly what he is doing.”

        He thinks he knows what he’s doing. If you honestly think that he set out to make himself look like a moron who can’t satisfy his wife sexually, then you’re doing life wrong.

        • burnerxabillion-av says:

          Shapiro doesn’t think he made himself look like a moron (publicly at least) and his supporters agree with him. To them it was “clearly a joke” and anyone who disagrees is a humourless, rabid lib.These people can never be wrong.

    • stalkyweirdos-av says:

      I mean, it doesn’t take a hell of a lot of smarts to set yourself up as nerd king of the incels.

  • duckchubbin-av says:

    WET AZZ P-Word

  • calebros-av says:

    Lol this nerd admitted he can’t get his wife’s pussy wet.I imagine every woman gets as dry as the Atacama when this guy enters the room.

    • bc222-av says:

      I hate Twitter so much and think about deleting it every day, and then every day I see at least one thing like this…and I’m like FINE…

    • mchapman-av says:

      Liked for using the Atacama instead of the cliched Sahara. (And technically, the Atacama is drier, as I’m sure you knew.)

  • brontosaurian-av says:

    Sigh as funny as it is he’s unfortunately getting the attention he wants. At least it’s all embarrassing, maybe if he keeps talking he’ll cross the line and admit something irredeemable. Like Milo saying pedophilia was cool. He doesn’t quite have the Trump Teflon cult fandom thing.

  • roadshell-av says:

    I wonder how much they’re paying Ben Shapiro to promote this song…

  • bumpkinly-av says:

    Feminism means a woman can love sex, use naughty words to describe her lady parts & make money writing a song about it.Next question.

  • outtamywayjerkass-av says:

    I’m not going to do the research, but I’d bet a significant amount of money that the label that put out “WAP” and the network that broadcasts Shapiro’s nonsense are, if not owned outright by the same conglomerate, at least share a couple board members. Those people are making money hand over fist from both sides of the “controversy” around “WAP.”

  • nebulycoat-av says:

    Please, don’t anyone tell Shapiro about ‘My Girl’s Pussy’, which Harry Roy sang about in 1931, even though he is clearly just talking about his girlfriend’s cat:There’s one pet I like to pet
    And every evening we get set
    I stroke it every chance I get
    It’s my girl’s pussy

    Seldom plays and never purrs
    And I love the thoughts it stirs
    But I don’t mind because it’s hers
    My girl’s pussy

    Often it goes out at night
    Returns at break of dawn
    No matter what the weather’s like
    It’s always nice and warm

    It’s never dirty, always clean
    In giving thrills, never mean
    But it’s the best I’ve ever seen
    Is my girl’s pussyI bring tid-bits that it loves
    We spoon like two turtle doves
    I take care to remove my gloves
    When stroking my girl’s pussy

    • null000000000-av says:

      The lyrics even go really well with the rhyme pattern of WAP. Just put the beat under it and start recording.

    • galdarn-av says:

      “don’t anyone tell Shapiro about ‘My Girl’s Pussy’, which Harry Roy sang “

      It’s good to see that you definitely understand that the entirety of the uproar is because she is black and a woman. You may as well have said “don’t tell him about what Trump said to Billy Bush in that bus”.

      Were you born this thick or did you build it up over your lifetime?

  • reddye6-av says:

    I hope Shapiro does Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff” next.

  • charliedesertly-av says:

    It’s… I mean, fuck Ben Shapiro, first of all. Fuck him for a good long time before this. From before he changed his shtick from going on college campuses and trying to show up 18 year olds to, apparently, being a podcaster or whatever. But I just wanted to say that it seems pretty obvious that his followup tweet was not a joke or admission about not being able to turn his wife on, as avclub has painted it, but rather a lame-ass joke about how women gushing so much she needs a bucket and a mop (because apparently he needs to take things like that literally) would have some sort of medical problem. In other words, I don’t think he’s playing like he’s “in on the joke.” I think he’s just doubling down on his dorky-ass first take.

  • smithsfamousfarm-av says:

    I’m a white guy, middle aged (on the lower end, thank you) and everything about this guy wants me to throat punch him. I’m not violent by reason: I’ve been in three fights all my life, two with an old chef I worked for. None of those were pretty. This piece of shit deserves to be in the gutter. Dems stand up. Time to stop letting morons like this guy take over the airwaves/TV/etc. Fuck him. Fuck him and his supporters. Fuck him and anyone who defends him. The GOP has called an all out war on anything Democrats do/say/pass/vote for. Do the right thing: Vote. Get involved. Be nice and wear a mask. Don’t be a dick.

  • agentviccooper-av says:

    I mean, lots of 12 year olds are listening to this song. Are we cool with that?

  • nexttokin-ja-av says:

    Not that it’s relevant, but I keep wondering why he can say “ass” but not “pussy”.

  • 50fteris-av says:

    Hearing an adult man say “p-word” instead of pussy is ridiculously pathetic

  • whatanassh0le-av says:

    I can 100% guarantee I can get Mrs. Shapiro’s usually dry pussy dripping in seconds.

  • nilus-av says:

    Ben Shapiro has only ever made his wife wet once in his wife.  It was on their wedding night, they were tears, not for joy but because she realized she married Ben Shapiro

  • fired-arent-i-av says:

    Keezey’s rendition slaps. Ben sure can bring the lyrics

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Share Tweet Submit Pin