With Sunday’s no-doubt epic (and some-doubt satisfying) Game Of Thrones finale coming at us this Sunday, some people are scrambling to catch up, rewatch, and otherwise cram in preparation. And, sure, it’s theoretically possible to catch up on every single episode, read the A.V. Club’s both expert and newbie reviews, and send in your virtual signature to a petition (presumably started by Comic Book Guy) to somehow force HBO to invest untold millions to redo the whole show to your precise specifications. But, thanks to Late Show bandleader Jon Batiste, you don’t have to!
Unveiling his own magnum opus, a musical recap that promises to clue in the clueless in advance of the big Sunday blowout, Batiste told Late Show host Stephen Colbert that he undertook this public service gladly. Despite the fact that he’s never watched a single episode of the show. (Late Show writer Ariel Dumas, who wrote the actual lyrics, may have seen an episode or two.) Luckily, Batiste is on the Twitter, so, as he told the skeptical Colbert, he’s seen all your hilarious memes and photoshops and whatnot, so was pretty confident he’d cobbled together a helpfully accurate timeline.
He hadn’t, but one could, perhaps, understand some of Batiste’s confusion in thinking the show takes place in England, in 1837, that the ever-frosty Jon Snow is some sort of ice-breathing wizard in a battle with that scary Old Man Winter, and that House Stark is in mortal battle with the forces of Gryffindor. Donning a Prince by way of Dave Chappelle ensemble, complete with keytar, Batiste also drew on his third- or fourth-hand knowledge of GOT to warn people about all the Draculas pursuing lovers Aquaman and Elsa from Frozen, while Ed Sheeran sings a love song in the background. He also speculates that this “D&D on TV” might have a serious racial problem, as there seem to be only two black people in the entire world. (One of whom was just unceremoniously [redacted.]) On second thought, maybe Batiste picked up on some of Game Of Thrones’ true essence after all.
21 Comments
“I only saw like two black people”Hey, there were like, five black people. They also had the pirate, the trader, and the slaver played by the guy from Lost. Which is certainly more than the amount of black characters in the books, which I believe was…(checks figures)…zero.
There are a few in the books (mostly from the Summer Islands— Chataya, Jalabhar Xho, Quhuru Mo and his crew, Strong Belwas, Hizdahr zo Loraq, The Lash), but yeah, it ain’t great. If Westeros is Europe and Essos is the Middle East / Asia, then I guess Sothoryos is North Africa, but Sothoryos doesn’t figure into the story, like… at all. 😔
No Asians in the books either.
Missandei is somewhat coded as Asian in the books, though that doesn’t do much for the diversity count.
+1 of the good ones
There really is no excuse for the absence of diversity in books like these 🙁
Yes, it is indeed inexcusable that there would be no Asians in Westeros.
It’s not remotely true, though, is it? The Dornish aren’t “white people” for starters, unless you consider Arabic people to be “white people”.
Ahhhh yes, that’s the brilliant Mr. Eko scene with dialog such as “the dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant.”
Queen Cersei sends her regards…
Will there be a petition signed by hundreds of thousands of people to demand Batiste re-write this song, now?
I think I know where Batiste got his inspiration for this catchy tune.
all together now: the game was inside us all the time/the friends we made along the way so we all won the game of thrones!
I thought it was a funny song, but didn’t really get why it was also 80s and also he kinda looked dressed up as Prince, but the song wasn’t Prince-esque.
this was some bottom barrel shit, let’s be honest
The song is ok. It varys from good to bad.
I haven’t seen Game of Thrones, and I probably won’t cause I hate HBO, but all the hype compelled me to watch a couple of youtube full-series recaps. They really are interesting but, damn, the narrators talk so fast that I can’t keep up. I mean, I know they’re doing it for funsies, but I really would like to be able to keep all of those names straight.
Ok, new most bizarre person I’ve ever heard of anywhere.
You only need to recap with Jonathan, whose GAY OF THRONES recaps got him the new Queer Eye gig. oh, and this season’s recaps aren’t as funny.
Ha! I did see one of those. Thanks for the tip.
Close enough!