The Situation is prison buddies with the Fyre Fest founder and the Fappening guy
Aux Features the situation
In news that has the bile steadily rising in our throats, Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, who’s currently serving an 8-month sentence for tax evasion, is apparently prison pals with Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland and Ryan Collins, the scumbag behind that 2014 leak of celebrity nudes (a.k.a. The Fappening). The results, we imagine, are worse for humanity than Ghosterbusters’ Gatekeeper/Keymaster union. Who, we’re afraid to ask, is Gozer in this scenario?
This update comes courtesy of Sorrentino’s Jersey Shore co-stars Vinny Guadagnino and DJ Pauly D, who were on Jenny McCarthy’s SiriusXM radio show to promote Double Shot at Love with DJ Pauly D and Vinny. “They play Scrabble together,” DelVecchio said of Sorrentino and Collins, who McCarthy reveals may or may not leaked some photos of her own.
Still, McCarthy, like the rest of us, remains more fascinated with McFarland, telling the guys to implore their buddy to get as much information as he can about the failed luxury festival, which was chronicled earlier this year in a pair of Netflix and Hulu documentaries. “He could write two books!” she exclaims and, ugh, of course we would read them.
Collins is in the middle of an 18-month sentence, while McFarland is early into a six-year stay in what sounds like a low-security facility. Pauly and Guadagnino describe it as having “no bars,” as well as access to video chat and the option for plentiful visits. Earlier this month, Snooki said Sitch was having the “time of his life.”
Watch the clip below.
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How about a nice game of . . . Scrabble?
“Okay, we’ve got a lockdown in section 5! We’ve got a disturbance over a Triple Word score disagreement. We need to calm them down so send in the ice cream cart.”
And don’t even get me started on Pod 6!
Who cares? Pod 6 is jerks!
Where’s the pro shop, Eggers?!
I bet your lymph nodes are as big as cats!
Now strip down ‘n let me get to your buboes!
There go my nipples again!
You want the mustache on or off?
Which one of them will develop black market Prison Stimutacs?
“Fellas, if you want your room service privileges revoked, you’re doing a fine job of going about it!”
“What is this…RAW?”
The only way to win is not to play … with those douchenozzles.
I’m guessing their words rarely go above 4 letters long.
They say evil has many faces, but these guys all look exactly the same.
Douches of a feather flock together…
Of the 3 faces in the header, which do y’all find the most punchable?I say McFarland
Sorrentino for me. He’s even more punchable looking to me than Pauly D, and that’s saying something. (I think Pauly’s appearance on Eric Andre, in which you can see his brain just shut down in real time trying to make sense of things, sort of endeared me to him)
Pauly D looks absolutely ridiculous, but he’s had a good sense of humor about himself in every appearance I’ve seen of him.
Jersey guys round up! Vinnie seemed like an actual decent (and fairly intelligent, he speaks about climate change!) guy. Pauly D seems like a mostly harmless and genial idiot, Situation is the creep who will still be giving drunken teenagers gonorrhea when he is in his fifties, Ronnie seems most likely to unintentionally murder someone in a ‘roid rage.
Pauly D seems like a genuine dude imo, part of what made the show work.
I honestly can’t tell them apart. They all look like douchy white frat guys to me.
I’m guessing the one on the right is the fappening guy, only because he doesn’t have a high quality mugshot ready for the press. I guess the one in the middle looks the most like someone who would call themselves “the situation”. Like “we have The Situation in Aisle 6, cleanup crew please report.”
I say Collins, because I think what he did is probably the worst and also looks like the dude most likely to go to jail for accidentally killing a pledge via hazing.
Your fists never run out of ammo, y’know.
Dude in the middle. He really seems to be inviting it.
“What happens when a scammer, hacker, and your favorite Jersey idiot meet in prison?” Watch Penitentiary Pals MTV’s new reality show Thursday nights at 10pm.
I cannot stress how badly I would like to watch this. Like, I know if it were to exist it would be terrible as it would be benefiting them, but damn it all it sounds absolutely trashy and I love it.
OMG… I can’t wait for the toilet wine episode.
That would never be on MTV. It’s something that people would actually tune into!
You know, I just might. Ok MTV, I know it’s been a decade, but I will watch one of your shows.
Whats worse is Jenny McCarthy is prob the most evil of the lot, wonder how many kids shes killed with her anti vaxx bs
Came here to post something like this.“I smell a new reality series!”
Correction: Mike “The Tax-Dodging Puts You In A Prison Situation” is from New York. Everybody knows that Bruce Springsteen is The Boss and the Jersey Idiot is Chris Christie.
I can smell the Axe from here.
The Nasal Napalm scent, to be exact.
Ship of fools, prison of douchebags
I bet that’s a long scrabble game with nothing but 2 and 3 letter words…
They just kept spelling “boobs” over and over and laughing. Then they ran out of O’s and fell asleep.
“But then, the Sitch pulled out the word ‘peen’, and we were like, ‘Dude, you just took this game to a whole new level!’”
May the giant meteor coming to mercifully kill us all have its impact point directly on top of that prison.
My mind has always and will always completely reject the image of this man. He looks like a claymation figurine superimposed into reality.
And he’s the richest one of them all! Pauly D is pulling in 8 figures a year and I bet he makes sure his accountant pays every dime of his taxes.
I’m mad that I now know this fact.
He looks like a Bart Simpson Realdoll.
A little Max Headroom too.
I like how he makes the slope of his hair crust match the slope of his simian forehead. (actually, I hate everything about that picture)
I have a digital video of these guys playing Twister naked.TMZ paid me to destroy it.
Watch the clip belowHard pass.
lowest scoring game of scrabble ever.
The most disgusting thing is how short their sentences are and how relaxed it all is for them.
Short sentences are all The Situation can manage.
Yeah, there are people who had genuinely hard upbringings and few opportunities in life doing serious stretches in prison for things like drug offences or petty theft, and I’m sure they’re not getting video chat sessions. But these guys, with all their fucking privilege, knowingly committed crimes to either hurt other people or just not pay their share, and they’re chilling out playing Scrabble. It’s hard not to feel a bit pissed off.
They might get video chats instead of actual visits at the cost of 50 cents a minute. So probably no one they know can afford more than a short visit.
that’s one hell of a fuck-marry-kill round.
Take your star, but don’t expect me to be proud of that fact.
Based on the headline, I did not expect that the worst person mentioned in the article would be someone else: Jenny “anti-vaccine, pro-disease” McCarthy
Yeah, the biggest shock to me was “Jenny McCarthy’s SiriusXM radio show.” Wait, what? The only reason anyone ever pretended to listen to Jenny McCarthy or told her she was funny was to ogle her appearance. Sadly, I bet the anti-vax bullshit IS the reason people will actually listen to her talk and give her a radio show at this point.
The only prison crew on earth actively trying to recruit Martin Shkreli.
If they’ll just transfer Shkreli and Manafort, DOUCHETRON can commence.
King of the Decepticons!
Being white with even a bit of money and fame in America, is the gift that keeps on giving.
Great, so now they are forming a douche bag version of the Legion of Doom.
The Legion of Douches.
Sounds about right.
“Earlier this month, Snooki said Sitch was having the “time of his life.””
Whereupon a nearby guard yelled “NO TOUCHING!”
We’re getting dangerously close to critical dudebro mass.
Imagine being a woman and seeing these three ding-dongs coming at you in a bar. Or any three ding-dongs coming at you in a bar. Jesus, I’m glad I’m not a woman.
Throw in Elizabeth Holmes and watch Richard Branson invest $1B into their next venture
I’ve brought this up a few times, but would it kill AVC to include CAPTIONS on your pictures? The article body doesn’t indicate who the people in the picture are – do you expect everyone to know which is the Fyre Festival guy and which is the nudes guy?
It’s actually just one game of scrabble but it’s taken four months so far.
They had to build a special Douchebro Containment cell to safely hold in all the entitled smugness. It’s already running at dangerously high levels.
McFarland is a scam artist and a smug asshole. People are fascinated with the Fyre Fest debacle, not as much about him.
“Ghosterbusters”Is this something the kids say nowadays?
I don’t know who these people are. I just came here to say I’m feeling happy about my life choices.
Ifind it hard to imagine 3 more punchable faces side by side
It’s a good start to a douchebag Mount Rushmore
I would watch a movie called Ghosterbusters
Am I the only one who would rather read a book written by the blowjob guy?
Human Centipede 3
…“Ghosterbusters?”