The Sopranos‘ “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero stars in deli meat Halloween ad campaign as “The Gabaghoul”
Vincent Pastore has, at long last, landed the role of a cold cut goblin chef
TV Features The Gabaghoul![The Sopranos‘ “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero stars in deli meat Halloween ad campaign as “The Gabaghoul”](https://img.pastemagazine.com/wp-content/avuploads/2021/10/15023319/b6bb5d8481005493aa5e9a1e3e6d430b.png)
Though The Sopranos premiered in 1999, it’s taken until now for a deli meat company’s marketing department to happen upon the precise combination of elements that would give us a Halloween ad campaign that capitalizes on people’s love of the holiday, the HBO show, and cold cuts. But now, finally, we have it and it’s taken the form of a deli meat-loving undead mobster called The Gabaghoul.
The dread Gabaghoul is played by Vincent Pastore—or, in our fan fiction, the undead Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero, returned from a watery grave where he learned how to make party appetizers. Pointy-eared, his pallid flesh covered partially by a tank top, gold chain, and black bathrobe, The Gabaghoul lives in service to his patron, Dietz & Watson, and their “Halloween Hosting” campaign.
A trio of videos shows off the creature’s best packaged meat recipes for those of us who can’t afford a Vampire Artie Bucco to cater our parties. In the first of them, The Gabaghoul introduces himself by turning to the camera and stating, deadpan: “Hey, it’s me, The Gabaghoul.” He then says “marone” as he eats a piece of meat, takes out a hatchet to cut up a hoagie, and accidentally chops off his own hand.
In the second and third, that crazy ol’ Gabaghoul asks us a rhetorical “how ya doin’?,” yells at a ghost named Gino, then talks about hot dogs, and tries to kill one of the pesky bat that haunt his actually-not-that-scary kitchen.
It’s all in a day’s work for The Gabaghoul, who stands by, ready and willing to advertise for food companies that, if we follow the commercials’ logic, have managed to get a mafioso goblin-man to pitch their products in some immortal satanic pact.
Still, for human viewers, we urge caution when it comes to this ad campaign, reminding you not to eat a bunch of Halloween party food directly from the fridge before bed. That’s a one-way ticket to long, strange dreams about having to whack The Gabaghoul, and nobody wants that.
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31 Comments
Good with a Halloween beer.
Grain Belt! Holy shit. I had some this summer for the first time, and it was one of the worst beers I’ve ever had.
You are clearly not a regular beer drinker. It is the best regional macro brew.
Not a regular beer drinker?! I won’t stand for this libel. I drink beer pretty much every fucking day. I’ve had more beer over the course of my life than 10 fucking Germans. It’s not good.
I appreciate the road taken to get to that pun.
Who puts ketchup on a dog? Communists, that’s who.
That was a long way to go and worth every mile.
In the Czech Republic, too, we love pork. You ever had our sausages?
“In the Czech Republic, too, we love pork.”“Is that why there’s so many of you? Hahahahaha!”
“You got him good! you could even say it was Czech – mate! Hahahaha!”
“Czech mate. I see what you did there! That was a double entendre! Hahahaha!”
That’s fucking hilarious.
It’s not “marone”, it’s Madonn’, you stunad!
By that logic, Pastore’s character should be called The Capigola.
Phonetic spelling is fine, but that doesn’t make the middle of Madonna an R.
Phonetic spelling is fine, but that doesn’t make the middle of Madonna an R.
Obviously the middle of Madonna is XXX.
And bumpy…from what I – I heard.
Stugats!
Oh!
Except if you’re from Southern Italian/Sicilian stock in Jersey, then you absolutely say “marone” with an ‘r’ instead of a ‘d’. Regional pronunciation and language evolution is a thing.
The Sopranos has had some odd post-show trajectories for its actors.
Hooooooooooooo!
Is this weirder then Paulie Walnuts cameoing on Sesame Street? I don’t know, glad it exists. Now bring that gabagool ovah heeer!
Egads! A pitch for meat products that includes the bloody stump of a severed thumb? I can’t imagine that passed the focus group test.
They couldn’t focus because they kept passing out!
He’s lost some weight. I guess now we have to call him Skinny Pussy.
Ugh. I’m sorry.
It’s going to be a while before I eat anything from Satriale’s.
You know what Bacala is? Salted Cod. We taught the world how ta’ eat!
“Bonpensier”? Big Pussy was French? No wonder he got whacked.
Ha! Dietz Nuts.
Who can forget the Bada-book?