The money people need to leave Die Hard alone. What started as a perfectly good trilogy of action movies has now become a series as tired, battered, and bloody as a last act John McClane. And yet, even after dragging the character through the broken glass of Live Free Or Die Hard and A Good Day To Die Hard, McLane is set to return (pre-turn?) with a not-so-great-sounding prequel movie and, if that wasn’t enough, has now been put to work selling car batteries.
After Bruce Willis’ daughter Rumer teased what looked like a new movie yesterday, the world instead yakked up a commercial for DieHard batteries . The ad is titled, “DIEHARD IS BACK|2:00 Film” in an effort, we suppose, to twist the knife by claiming that the car parts ad is a celebration-worthy revival and, worse, a “film.”
The commercial/new installment follows McClane not being able to start his car, running into a bunch of well-armed goons in a deserted town, and being assured that “we have free installation” after he grabs a DieHard branded battery from an auto shop. He crawls through vents, brains a dude with his car battery, and whips a grenade into a Humvee. The only real consolation is that Clarence Gilyard’s Theo and De’voreaux White’s Argyle both show up, though we’re sadly denied Argyle arriving to the tune of “Christmas In Hollis.”
Since who knows what McClane will get up to in future films, this commercial may not hold the illustrious title of “Worst Die Hard sequel” for long. Still, for today at least, it, nestled close to a line of Die Hard branded Funko Pops, has earned a spot in the crass, brand-leasing infamy hall of fame .
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55 Comments
I’ve never even seen the fifth Die Hard movie, but I refuse to believe this is worse than the fourth. It’s only two minutes long, for starters.
No. I have seen worse Die Hard sequels.
I was gonna say, as far as the franchise’s sequels go, this was probably the best since Die Hard 2.
I have an aversion to 2 as a result of it being on TV all the time in the 90s, which makes me like 3 more, but I’d happily put this ad in the #4 slot.
But this would imply that Die Hard 2 is better than Die Hard with a Vengeance which, as we all know, is nonsense.
I stand by my comment!
2 is completely beholden to the success of 1, and fails to recreate it. At least With a Vengeance tries to do its own thing, and succeeds way more than 2 does.
Once again, I’d like to split hairs: DH3 is the better movie overall, but DH2 is the better Die Hard movie. Vengeance is just a buddy action comedy with extra baggage.
I don’t know that I fully agree. Inarguably, it’s not got a lot to do with the themes or characters of the first film but DH3 feels like DH because of McTiernan’s direction. DH2 is just a very hollow recreation of the first one. I suppose it depends on what you want in a sequel but I’d hold that DH3 is the only other good film in the franchise and, thanks to McTiernan, similar enough to be called a sequel.
(this is an overall response to everyone’s die hard 2 takes, not yours specifically)2 oscillates in this weird place between underrated and underwhelming. the less you watch it, the better it is. the first is, for my money, an all-out action masterpiece and the third is a cracking summer buddy action movie. the second is inferior compared to both but in a vacuum has some great scenes and is the last one that still qualifies as a christmas movie.
“2 oscillates in this weird place between underrated and underwhelming. the less you watch it, the better it is.”For this reason, I always refer to it as the “Sizzler” of Die Hard films.
As in – “we haven’t eaten at Sizzler in awhile. Unlimited ice cream (or snowmobile chase) and salad bar – how bad can it be?”
Die Hard 2 isn’t even a Die Hard movie. Because at the core of every Die Hard movie is a plot involving some freedom fighters or some other bullshit that’s REALLY a cover for a heist.
Die Hard 2 misses the point entirely, instead having it be a prison break where the “twist” is that the dad from the Jefferson’s is really a bad guy. And did he actually eject from a cargo plane? Seriously?
This is, of course, compounded by the fucking Marv character (You look like you just got back from EEEEEwo Jiiiiima!” portraying PTSD as channeled through Mickey Rooney’s Bill.
Die Hard 3 is a masterpiece, and the original ending makes it better.Die Hard 4 had cool action scenes and Timothy Olyphant is great. Just close your eyes when Kevin Smith is onscreen. And had a heist covered by some cyber warfare disgruntled bullshit.
Die Hard 5 had some decent action, but is really an amazing movie because at 88 minutes, it’s over before you have time to realize it sucks. And, again, had a secret heist plot.
Good Times, not The Jeffersons, but I get your point.*Also the dad from Coming to America
How can you not have love for Die Hard 3?
Really? Die Hard 3 is better then Die Hard 2. I would put this as a solid number 4 though
Ahh, Die Hard 2: Die Harder. The only sequel that was a real Die Hard movie.
Hey, With a Vengeance was a perfectly cromulent action movie!
yeah this was cute and fun and brought argyle back!
Die Harder and Good Time to Die Hard are the worst, yes.Still want Die Hard 6 to tie up McClane’s family arc with eventual return of Holly Gennaro.
I’m just surprised that it took 33 years to do something like this. I’m still waiting to hear Tears For Fears in a SHOUT stain pre-treatment advert.
I’m assuming it had something to do with Sears being such a family-friendly chain and Die Hard not being a family movie. Now that Die Hard is no-longer Sears-exclusive, they can go nuts with the branding.
I’ve been waiting all my life for the dog to get off the leash like this; ever since I was a little lad, I’ve been waiting for Die Hard to run wild with the branding.
I had the exact same thought. I’m counting down the days until Nicolas Cage puts on that luxorious 1997 wig of his again to promote ConAir blow dryers.
I’m still in awe that the makers of Febreeze stupidly have not yet signed NFL QB Drew Brees for an endorsement.
The book Die Hard was based on was a sequel to a novel called The Detective, which itself was adapted into a movie in 1968 starring Frank Sinatra.
Sorry, My reference on these matters is still CineFix.
I enjoyed Nothing Lasts Forever. Much darker and much more death than the movie. Not saying it’s better, because the movie is in my top 10. Just…different. And worth the read.
I was surprised how much stuff I assumed was invented for the movie actually came from the book.
Yep, and apparently they had to give Ol’ Blue Eyes right of first refusal for the part. (I assume that’s in the video that I haven’t watched yet)
I don’t have a car, but I do have an affection for seeing actors reprise their old roles in commercials. Not Bruce Willis, I mean Clarence Gilyard and De’voreaux White.
waiting for the inevitable foot locker commercial, where he actually gets shoes and thwarts the terrorists my wearing Nike SHOXX.
I actually thought the commercial was funny. The tease on the Internet was a little mean to the die hard Die Hard fans—that is, fans of the movie Die Hard not the die hard fans DieHard battery.While the DieHard was always pretty dependable, I never got the whole five years out of one. The best I ever did was about three years before I had to take it to Sears for a prorated replacement.On the other hand, Die Hard has always been a dependable part of my Christmas movie lineup, along with Lethal Weapon and A Christmas Story.
I agree the 1st Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
Can’t wait for the next one. John McClean’s nursing home is placed on lockdown due to Covid and he battles against the orderlies and nursing staff to find a way out. Screams “Yippee Ki-Yay Motherfuckers!” As he jumps his motorized wheelchair over a parked ambulance.
and then he crashes and a reanimated Hans Gruber says “As a result of this crash, Mr McClane will not be joining us for the rest of his life.
Ho. Ho. Ho.
Are you kidding? I saw this during football yesterday and I felt like it was the Superbowl. That commercial frigging rocked! It had throwbacks and references galore to some of the best parts of the movie. Argyle is back! Tons of explosions resulting in certain death. And it just kept going and going. Maybe I saw something different. I almost guarantee that commercial would have been in the top 5 Superbowl commercials if they held onto it. Also, and I may be wrong, but was that ‘Theo’ driving the excavator?
I have no problem with this, party because it seems 30 years overdue, partly because the Die Hard franchise hardly screams quality cinema. Also, if you grew up during a certain era, DieHard battery commercials were so ubiquitous they hit the nostalgia note about as hard as a stop motion Santa sledding on a Norelco.
You’re so edgy, McCarter.
I saw A Good Day To Die Hard in theaters on opening weekend (yes, I’m the one!) This was a much better viewing experience.
I cho-cho-chose to see it on opening day, Valentine’s Day itself!
I’m sorry, but John never met Theo. Small likelihood that he would recognize him on the street.
Wasn’t Theo the only “terrorist” to survive? He would’ve been infamous for a little while on account of that. His face on the news and all that.
Yeah, Argyle punched him out after he rammed the limo into the ambulance.
I know, but I mean in the sense of being the only one in Gruber’s crew to make it out alive. The sole survivor.
Agreed. Although Karl technically made it out (of the building) alive, before Sgt. Powell heroically found the will to kill a man again.
Ah yes, the Die Hard expanded universe.
I’d say he probably met him at Theo’s trial, assuming he somehow didn’t get let off on charges of robbery and hostage taking.
Pretty sure the Die Hard prequel was canned when the Disney Fox deal went through. I was against the deal on the whole, but every cloud and all that.
What? But I always wanted to learn why McLane’s captain had to keep telling him there are rules for police men!
Well you could always read the graphic novel Die Hard: Year One. SPOILER: It turns out the same shit had actually happened to the same guy *thrice* by 1990.
Hot take: Live Free > Die HarderThe best thing about Die Harder is the title.
DH films best to worst: Die Hard, DH w/a Vngence, 16 Blocks, This Commercial, DH2:Die Harder, Live Free or DH, Good Day to DH
The 4th one’s not that bad. The scale is too big for a Die Hard film and the villain is forgettable, but parts of it are really good. I’d rank it slightly below the 2nd one and way above the 5th one. It doesn’t fit in with the trilogy as far as either quality or plot are concerned, but it belongs even less in the same sentence as the recent abomination in the series.It probably would’ve worked better if it hadn’t been a Die Hard film to begin with. Hell, it it had come out a decade earlier and starred Will Smith or Nicolas Cage it would’ve become a classic.