This is what interior decorating looks like when you have too much money and really like Christmas
Aux Features great job internet
To combat the awfulness of 2020, many people are decorating their homes for the holidays early this year—turning their living rooms into winter wonderlands. This is a story about a home that decided to go all in on that concept.
“You are not ready for this,” a Twitter user posted Thursday afternoon along with a link to a Zillow listing for a New Jersey home being sold for $2.2 million. The listing includes a 72-picture slideshow, which starts off with palatial images of the exterior and grounds of this, in the words of the realtor, “custom-built colonial set on 2.77 professionally landscaped Acres.” But as you dig a little deeper into this “Spectacular, Stunning, Tranquil” manison, you are greeted in the entryway by an avalanche of Christmas decorations. It’s unclear if the home is always decorated like the aisles of a Michael’s or if is like breaking out the fancy china for guests, but the listing has been on Zillow for almost 35 days, so those life-size nutcracker statues have been standing at attention since at least early October.
Unfortunately there’s no 3D walkthrough (like with our favorite accidental video game of 2020, 8800 Blue Lick Rd), but as you click through the gallery the gems move beyond holiday-themed to more generally “this is what happens when you have too much money” territory. A particular favorite is the gym room that doubles as a Disney store. There’s also… Well, we’ll let you peruse the photos yourself.
Clicking back through, there’s an early photo with a sign that reads “SANTA STOP HERE.” It is likely meant to be interpreted as imploring Santa to make sure and come down the chimney at this house, but in this case it may be pleading with him to cut it out with the decorations.
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207 Comments
What is going on with those 2nd floor window arches? They just slam into the eave and get clipped off? All that money and you can’t even get the proportions right.
Moulding Vs. Arch! Moulding wins!
It’s disappointing that when they broke ONE of their arch-segment windows, they couldn’t be bothered to replace it in the same style. So now all those arches have ray-of-sunlight mullions (are they still mullions? whatever), except for one…
I’m more concerned by the sinks and toilets in the bathrooms. Did they just want one of every single style and color for the sake of having them?
You don’t like your toilet up on rocks???? You don’t like the slickest substance known to humankind covering literally every surface of your bathroom? Plebian.
If the Squatty Potty has taught me anything, it is that you do not want the toilet seat higher off the ground.
My toilet is so high my feet don’t even reach the floor when I sit on it and I am not a short man. It is the worst shitting experience you’ll ever come across.
I’m convinced that ~50% of all people who have ever used or will ever use this bathtub have/will have gotten a major concussion and possibly died getting out of the tub:Same thing for 25% of the shower users.
Dude pulled a Ron Swanson. He was like:“I want all the tile you have for the bathroom. Wait! You probably think I mean a lot of tile. What I said was, give me all the tile for my bathroom.”
I didn’t know porcelain could be made in Dark Pepto Bismol Pink.
You weren’t on the right drugs during the porcelain color planning meeting.
You clearly weren’t around in the 80’s lol.
When I was a kid then one of my friends had a pink toilet and I that was the fanciest thing in the world!
I have a friend with a Pepto-Bismal pink bathroom. ALL of it. Toilet, sink, wall tiles. Floor and vanity are white. With black accent tiles here and there. Ugh. Vintage 1950s, of course.Though the color of that sink and toilet in this house is worse – it’s like Pepto mixed with bloody puke.
Years ago my buddy’s dad used to flip houses, so obviously having teenage children with friends meant “hey, free labor!”, so we used to have to help out.One day he bought this little 2/2 that had largely been abandoned and sent us to swap out all the appliances. We walked into the house and were hit by a wave of like, pure 80’s. The entire house had this like, burgundy shag carpeting (even more ridiculous when you consider this is Miami and carpet isn’t a thing down here lol), it had that trademark 80’s popcorn ceiling with the sparkles in it for some reason, 80’s glass tile walls peppered throughout…and then we saw the master bathroom lol…pink his and hers sinks, pink toilet, pink tiles, pink whirlpool tub, it was the most ridiculous thing we’d ever seen.I’m just glad we didn’t have to swap that stuff out ourselves because that would have been WAY too much work for someone not being paid lol.
80s? Try again.
https://retrorenovation.com/2016/03/22/bathroom-color-pink/
Thank you. I had to stop looking at the photos it was making me have stomach cramps. I wanna say this is some one whose family originates from the country in Europe shaped like a boot, and they own, I don’t know, trash collection companies, maybe hang out at a restaurant all day, waiting for people to bring in daily collections from various local enterprises? Just spitballing here.
I didn’t happen to notice if there were ducks in their swimming pool, which would have made your theory a slam dunk. Still, I’m pretty sure you’re on the right track.
Might be a Status Symbol. Seems like you’d have to go out of your way to get a teal and brown toilet … and only doing so to prove you can.
I once rented an apartment where the entire bathroom was mismatched shades of pink – the fixtures were all pink, and each fixture (and the tile) was a slightly different shade of pink. When I repaired some of the tile, I had introduce yet another form of pink.This bathroom, somehow, is even worse.
Did you see that fucking rocky sink? How tf are you supposed to clean that? Can you imagine the grime that gets in there? /puke
Shit, I was not actually prepared for that. I think it may be the fugliest interior design I’ve ever seen- and I frequent McMansion Hell. Even minus the mounds of ugly Christmas crap, you can still tell there’s a nightmare underneath. The fake flowers/plants alone.
So many fake plants. I like plants, but you can tell none of those could survive if they were real because they’re in odd places.
Where exactly are all your odd places? Documenting for a friend.
It’s edited.
I feel sorry for whatever underpaid and probably illegally-hired housekeeper these people employ, it’s a full time job just dusting the fake plants. Those things collect dust like nobody’s business.
Blink and you’ll miss the nativity scene in the back.
My exact thought was “Why is Jesus out by the pool?”
Convenient and fun baptism parties.
Wow, I had missed this! And are those fake palm trees or real ones that have been frosted or something? NJ doesn’t seem like prime palm tree territory, but I’ve never been there in winter.
It’s not palm tree area at all. Either those trees are fake or they’re wrapped in miles of burlap and blankets.
Blink and you’ll miss the drone operator too
THE MORE YOU SHOW THE LORD LOVE, THE MORE LOVE HE SHOWS YOU
More proof that money can’t buy class. Although Trump really proved the point convincingly.
The exterior is no prize pig either. How many different types/orientations/shapes/colors of stonework (and brick too!) can you possibly combine all at one time. I grew up in this neck of the woods and it does not look like the general taste level of my home county has improved since I left.
The amount of stonework suggests to me that the owners own a stone-adjacent business. I have relatives who build commercial buildings for a living. Their house looks like an office tower.
I did not notice the wacky stonework casserole going on until you said something. Now I can’t unsee it.
The mixing of the window styles always drives me crazy, as does land of a thousand roof lines.
It’s as if someone was trying to be featured on McMansion Hell.
There’s a house where I’m from (New England coast) built by a basketball player for his parents. It’s surrounded by mainly nice traditional houses and some mix of different styles of architecture that are fine or questionable, but like ok. This home is a 90’s style contemporary blue grey stucco that looks like an arch with undulating curved white balconies connecting in between. With weirdly conflicting tile work diamonds randomly inset and a fountain in the middle. It’s not even an era of architecture or outdated post modern or something. It’s just weird mess and as insult to injury stucco doesn’t do so well without constant upkeep by the shore in a place that has humid summers.
What’s nuts to me is that the overall form of the exterior isn’t bad for a mcmansion. If they had chosen one main style of stone/brick and maybe an accent, it would actually look pretty decent!
I dunno, there are some overhead shots on zillow that make the overall form look pretty revolting too, particularly all the horrible dead zones all around the building and the tentacle-like balustrades and walls
Ugh. And you know its just horrible stone veneer over a wood frame house. Smaller, well built house made from high quality materials > Big, poorly designed, cheaply made McMansion.
I was looking at houses further north, in Glen Rock, and they were knocking down lovely older houses to replace them with things like these and faux Italian villas. It was awful.
Yeah that’s been the story as long as I lived in NJ. Even in the 90s, people were tearing down incredibly beautiful older homes and replacing them with god awful stuff, especially near the beach. We used to joke, driving along the ocean, that all these people imagined that they live in the Isle of Capri or in Santa Barbara when actually they just have 50 feet of frontage on road by the ocean. I guess that’s not unique to NJ but it happens there a LOT.
THE GREEN “MARBLE” OUTLET COVERS OVER THE BLACK “MARBLE” BACKSPLASH OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!With beige outlets as well! There will never be a better reason to eat the rich than this.
So many different conflicting colors. They don’t match nor do they contrast, it’s just a wreck.
I hate it when people put white plastic outlets and plates on a black backsplash, because black doesn’t cost any more. This is so. Much. Worse.Also, they should be horizontally mounted, not vertically.
I…I can’t help but love it. It’s like a 1994 shopping mall (remember those?).
There is some big guido energy going on in that house. The pool and outdoor pizza oven are pretty spectacular, though.
I feel like I’m totally out of the McMansion loop. Why is every non-bathroom wall done in a faux texture pattern? Is that supposed to be aspirational? Like if this were an 8 figure home this would all be some sort of stone or something, but it’s not, so they had to try and fake it?
I think they put up all the Christmas crap to hide the horrible underlying design choices. I mean, somebody actually painted the cinder block in the utility room red and said “can we get MORE marble in this bathroom…and pink porcelain!” The only tastefully decorated room was the sauna.That house literally needs a half million dollars of remodeling, minimum.
That house needs a wrecking ball and a rebuilding.
That bathroom that was just all marble was so ugh. The kitchen! I almost always at least love the kitchen, but not here. So many bad choices.The outside is really nice, though. I like the pool. (Not the patio furniture, though. It looks like some cheap stuff you would get from Kmart.)
The fake banana tree in the gym took me out.
My favorite was the half tapestry hanging weirdly over a window. If they really had money they would’ve gotten a custom treatment for their arched windows.
And not a rug, throw rug, or carpet in sight. Just wood and tile/slate. Although the work-out room did have some sport mats under the machines.
The SHELL EXTERIOR on that sink!
Wooowwww. I am a tacky maximalist bitch and I wouldn’t be able to hear myself think in a single one of those rooms. If I think it’s too much…
I love McMansion Hell. They really break down what makes the design of those monstrosities bad.
The Thomas Kinkade filter on all those photos hurt my eyes after the first dozen or so.
Everything was so glossy. It was awful.
The budget for Pledge alone will be in the high six figures.
ArmorAll: the mark of classy homes
Why does every real estate photographer think that the HDR filter makes a house look appealing? It’s ok in some instances, but for a house, when I see that, I’m more likely to skip a house than be interested.
I’d like him to dial back on the HDR filter.
I’m comfortable enough with computers that simple modding is easy enough,but still, all my bathrooms in The Sims 4 end up looking like this.
In related news, the Oh, Hello cast has branched out to Too Much Tile.
But what about the tuna?
could you guys not hate on my house so much. I didn’t know it was Rude-o-Clock!
[cracking open a bottle of rude]It’s rude-o-clock somewhere.
I hope grant8418 didn’t take your attempt to destroy him too seriously.
Damn, someone better call an A.B.A. Certified Burn Center, cause im gonna need to go to one, and Stat!
As featured on the Real Housewives of New Jersey!
What real estate agent first thought that tonemapping photos of house interiors makes them look better. FFS
Despite the obsession with Christmas, there doesn’t seem to be a gift-wrapping room. I’m disappointed.
Word. Even decent plebs would have at least a gift wrapping closet or two.
That’s downstairs, in the basement. The door can’t be unlocked from the inside, and it’s sound-proofed.
Rich people have no taste. Seems like interior designers talk them into crap like mauve toilets because that’d be unique, etc…
My theory – aside from the usual (rich people have no taste, rich people have more money than they can sensibly spend so have to find excuses, etc) – is that a lot of rich people, particularly new money, don’t have enough rich friends. Imagine: you win the lottery. You’re a rich person. You want to act like a rich peson. But what’s that like? You don’t know – you’ve never met a rich person. Fortunately, your interior designers will tell you! So the decorators keep saying “oh yes, golden bidets are TOTALLY in, EVERYONE has them, you don’t want to be the only rich person without one, do you?”, and the hapless rich people just go with what they’re told. And when they do meet other rich people, they see their golden bidets, but they never actually have the sincere conversation in which the other rich person says “yeah, the decorators told me I needed one, but we never actually use it and I think it looks ugly”. So they all pretend that they like this stuff, because they don’t want to be the only one who doesn’t…
If you went through all the slides, you may have missed the Pool Grotto/Nativity Scene. There is a little stream that originates beneath the Nativity and flows over a little waterfall into the pool. Just like it is described in the Bible.Slides 52 and 53.
Slides 52:53formatting for Christ’s sake
52 Slides
Amen.
They were going for that Upscale Botanica look.
Do they like golfing or just collect the clubs?
At first I wondered if maybe they just had a large collection of clubs. Then I noticed that he apparently has several identical studded belts and I wondered if they were selling these things out of their house a la Lululemon.
There’s nothing colonial about this house (other than the fact that Christians who celebrate Christmas colonized NJ). It’s an 80’s style mcmansion.Also I know exactly where this house is located and drive by it frequently. It’s uglier in person.
How much would it take to induce you to burn it to the ground? I could start a Kickstarter…
I’d rather not cross the police in that part of NJ, especially since this family looks Italian.
So you’re an Indigogo man?
Anyone else feel nauseous?
Just puke/shit on the floor, or anywhere else in the room. It’s not like you’ll have made it any worse.
It’s the same color as my Pepto Bismol.
It reminds me of a bathroom in a dive strip club where the owner spent a crap ton of money on remodeling with “marble” tile so that the club would feel classy.
Oh mai.
That marble reminds me of early-3D-game-era textures. The door, too.
Add in the pink fixtures, and I’m pretty sure this entire room was modeled after one of the bathrooms in Duke Nukem.
duke nukem!
Spot on beyond belief
Wolfenstein: Home Invader Edition.
Remember those stupid stereo illusions from the 90s?
Now I can’t unsee it. All that’s missing is a pixelated alien coming out of the stall.
Look at that door!
I did, but the pepto coloring immediately cured it
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, diarrhea…magically cured! But JFC, this is insanely ugly. Does Trump own this house? The gold faucets made me consider the possibility.
I don’t mind the pop of color but this needs some 1800s mansion wall paper and not slabs of grey marble.
Not yet, but I’m pretty certain it’s going to give me nightmares.
Every surface in that house was designed so you could snort lines of coke off of it.
Yep.
It’s a late 80’s contemporary bathroom. What’s not to love???
It’s a late 80’s contemporary bathroom. What’s not to love???It’s a waking nightmare even by those standards. That patterned marble might have been good for one statement wall, but using it in more than one place in the same room was a mistake, and using it for the whole shebang… it’s is as if Escher designed some kind of psych experiment in visual disorientation.And those pink fixtures are just a shade too dark and a tinge too purple to be more like some kind of 50s flashback. I’m not sure what style, period, or alien sun would make them a good idea.
Yeah but, don’t worry about the nausea, the fixtures are made out of Pepto!
That’s why poor should never win lotto, just saying 🙂
I’ve had a glass or so too much wine, and that tips me severely into the “sober up or throw up” region of drunken fun. Imagine it in real life, even the tee-total would be thinking they ought to slow down on their intake.
And then you go to find another bathroom and you bludgeon yourself to death on the Fred Flintstone sink.
Eugh, you’re right, all it needs is some domestic appliance that’s actually a lizard or bird which makes a fml comment every time you use it.And loo roll chiseled out of stone, although I might be mis-remembering the Flintstones there.
LMFAO! I like your moxy.
This reeks of nouveau riche and I’m poor.
I’ll say this much – so many McMansions look weirdly desolate inside, because how do you fill that much space? Like, there’ll typically be that one room with a handful of Rubbermaid containers, one lone armchair stuffed in a corner, and a folding table, or something like that. These people clearly don’t have that problem.
This house has a threatening aura on a level I didn’t think possible. I did not think a house’s interior decorating could scare me. I was wrong, PAINFULLY wrong.
hahahaha “threatening.” It’s a word one rarely uses to describe the interior of a home. But it’s spot on here
Money can’t buy taste.
“oh it can’t be that bad” first shot of interior“oh.”
Ye gods, the christmas shit was the least egregious part of the decor.
Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on with the golf clubs? Why are there so many golf clubs???
So thiiis is what it looks like when Tacky throws up the 90’s and falls into a Hobby Lobby warehouse. So many questions…. Who are the poor schmucks that have to dust all the miles of fake plants and Santa’s hellfest? (Likely they are poor so that the home owner can buy more schmaltzy crap).
How orange are the rich cretins who built this? Or does the tanning bed in the basement. just make them as leathery as the strangely impractical and oversized monstrosities of dining chairs?How did the realtor keep a straight face when they accepted the listing?
PS_ There was a family in my town that had an huge artificial Christmas tree that they kept decorated all year. The mom thought it was a pain to take it all off and do it over again every year, so they had a wheeled stand made. She would throw a big sheet over it and wheel it back into the guest bedroom. I wonder how many spiders lived in their ornaments?
The only rooms I could spend more than a few seconds in without freaking out are the sauna and the utility room.The interior designer apparently saves up on Michaels coupons, and bought out their entire inventory of artificial plants in northern NJ as a result. That pink toilet takes the cake, though. How do you show this house while keeping a straight face?
What the WHAT?!? Like, seriously, what did I just keep hitting “next pic” for, aside from wanting to see what mob excess and poor taste have in common. Here is when I know you’ve made bad decisions in life: the number of baths outnumber the number of bedrooms. Good decisions though: I think it was pic number 45, the steam room. Yes, Yes, and Yes. In fact, I think that steam room pic was the only “normal” thing about that mess of a house. No bizarre decorating choices, nothing about Christmas in there, no plastic plants, just wood. They may be selling it for $2.2 million, but I’d love to know how much the original cost was. Marble and wood everywhere ain’t cheap.
The steam room looks normal because no one ever goes in there. The interior ‘decorators’ probably thought it was a mechanical closet, and the owners probably forgot it was there.In answer to your question, on the public records listings it looks like the 1997-1998ish original cost when it was built was something like $3.2 million. Interestingly, it was sold a little over a year later in 1999 for $756,000, and then sold again six months after that for $310,000. Foreclosures I presume….maybe construction lien settlements….maybe a failed embezzlement scheme…..pure speculation, but seems legit.
Jeez. I’m sure Tony Montana would have passed on this place for how tacky it is. Funny what you say about the steam room, I’m confident that none of the owners in the last 20 years even knew it was there. And you did way more research into this place than I did. Built for $3.2 million and then sold two years later for $310,000?? That’s insane.
Not enough likes. Tony Montana finding this too gauche is the comment of the week.
Say hello to my little friend! His name is baby Jesus, he’s in the nativity scene out back, and he’s everybody’s friend.
No. Knowing the area (live about 2 miles away) my guess is it was farmland purchased for $3.2M and then subdivided multiple times to a plot worth $310K at which time the house was built by the landowner.
At least one of the former owners must have gotten whacked.
No. Knowing the area (live about 2 miles away) my guess is it was farmland purchased for $3.2M and then subdivided multiple times to a plot worth $310K at which time the house was built by the landowner.
I think you’re slightly wrong about the bathrooms. It’s reasonable to have slightly more bathrooms than bedrooms, at least if you include ‘halfs’. Like, maybe the rooms have en suites with showers, but there’s also an additional proper bathroom with a jacuzzi or whatever, and there’s a couple of toilets near the reception rooms and entrance.But yeah, sometimes you see rich people’s houses described with four bedrooms and nine bathrooms and I do kind of wonder, not just what they’re there for, but even what anyone even thought they might be useful for…
The steam room. Yes. Can we talk about the steam room?
I actually really appreciated the “high school gym locker room” aesthetic of the mechanical room (picture 49, I think), as a counter-balance to all of the whatever-the-fuck the rest of the house was.
Pfff, and they say money can’t buy taste…
I’m assuming this is some sort of transmogrifier.
Given that wreath, I think it’s your own mausoleum. Don’t want to be interred with the poors
Sort of…https://www.sunlighten.com/saunas/
It looks like it’s a kiosk for some weird shit at the international terminal in the airport.
Some idiot put a sauna inside their house, under a low ceiling?
Oh god the mould and the water stains…
TYL:
Wintertime average temperature indoors – a brisk -118 degrees. Hang your sides of beef in the living room!
They need to open this up for tours as our new Fountains of Wayne (the store, not the band) Christmas display
The interior decorators:
.
This might be THE tackiest house I have ever seen.And *$24064* per year in taxes.
Melania Trump is testing the water for her new post-FLOTUS / Post- WH / divorced career?
Based on the numerous pastel shorts and shirts in the closet, I believe the owner of the house is Sonny Crocket (though I didn’t see a Ferrari Testarossa in the garage).
It’s like it’s been pre-Grey Gardens’d.
That was painful to scroll through. I made it to around 49-51 out of 72 images before I could not bare to look. The ultra-glossy wood floor… the fugly choice of granite EVERYTHING in the bathrooms (hell, the choice of toilets and sinks)… the choice of colors. my god, who lived here? an elderly woman, who is color blind, and lives alone with a family who doesnt spend time with her during the holidays so she longs for the past where every one was together? because that house needs another 2mil worth of work.
It’s what Miss Havisham would have if her fiance left her in December of 1991 and she has never touched it to this day.
This is where bad taste lives.
Behold, where taste goes to die.
“…which starts off with palatial images…”
This pathetic, Trumpian delusion of what a palace looks like is not palatial – it is just ugly.
Christmas decorations aside, there’s nothing like making every room in the mansion look like a cramped attic space by stuffing it with obscenely pomp furniture, clashing with just about everything else.
To be fair, you’ve just described the aesthetic principles of the Victorian era…
Ostentatious, insulting, gaudy, tasteless, insulting…
I guarantee the owners are Italian.
WHAT KIND OF WERIDO HANGS THEIR SHORTS????
I hope they used too much HDR processing and saturation boosting on all these photos, because it can’t possibly look like this and still be a part of this plane of existence, can it?If I lived there, being rich enough to live there wouldn’t compensate for the constant state of migraine and frequent vomiting.
Wow, this is some serious New Money shit right here.
EGADS.
That generator is nice.
Money can’t buy class.
The listing forgot to upload this pic.
My sister-in-law’s family runs one of those seasonal Christmas . . . stores? exhibits? whatever, there’s animatronics and kids get their picture made with Santa and there’s a little kids’ theater playing Rudolph and shit. Anyway, the whole place screams “FUCK YEAH CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKAAAAAS” less than that foyer.
After a quick look at other properties in the area I can conclude that people in New Jersey have no taste and that no matter when the house was built the interior looks like it was designed by a coked up mobsters wife in the 1970’s who was going for that 1940 look.
Someone call Melanoma, she’ll probably want to outsource her “fucking Christmas decorations” this year.
She has these pics on Instagram as her inspiration wall, I’m betting. Although she might not do anything this year, just because.
I feel sick, so much HDR
Just because you can tile a surface with river rocks doesn’t mean you should.
Their taste is in their mouth.
Was the interior designer color blind and having a stroke? The pink toilet, seriously, just stop. You would need to put another $2M in renovations to make the house livable.
Burn it down and salt the earth so that nothing may grow there.
Unfortunately there’s no 3D walkthrough (like with our favorite accidental video game of 2020, ) With no 3D walkthrough, you could just create a scavenger hunt. For instance, after all the Christmas decorations in the first few slides, did you notice the Christmas chess set later on? Good luck!
As soon as I read ‘New Jersey’ I instantly knew it was gonna be a treat. The over-abundance of granite, tacky leather furniture and pastiche of Xmas suffocation mixed with madonna imagery just screams ‘Semi-retired, but only semi-repentant Sicilian mob home.’
That all looks…so terrible lol.Who let these people have all that money just to use it to put together that mess?
Never before have I ever felt so offended by something that does absolutely no harm to me. So deeply offended on a personal level. Is that a sickly shade of mauve with… what the hell kind of stone is that? Is it even real? It has pink veins? I guess it’s supposed to be marble? Why is it used repeatedly in nearly every single room on the walls, floor, and ceiling?
What the hell is going on there? Who hurt these people? Do we need to send help?
I genuinely feel bad for whoever they are and I know I shouldn’t, since they’re clearly filthy rich, but… goddamn.
Holy fuck. that is bad. Like really fucking bad. Like they went to Trump’s interior decorator and said, “I want what you do for Trump. But crank it up 60 above that. and I hate blank space. I want something fucking everywhere. If I can cram some shit on a shelf or wall your fired.”
TONY: I bought you this house because you wanted a “project,” now I can’t walk two feet without tripping over some piece of shit Christmas decoration!CARMELLA: Maybe if you stopped coming home drunk every night from your whore’s house you’d know your way around better!
Everything about that house and listing is offensive to those of us blessed with the gift of vision. The architecture itself is horrendous, the interior is about 2 decades past its prime (and it wasn’t great then), the decor (not even the xmas crap) is something that Carmela Soprano would love and the xmas stuff just makes the house feel claustrophobic.And then we get to the filter on those photos. Realtors – please hire someone who knows how to take a picture and use photoshop next time. As bad as this house is, the horrible photos and their retouching make it seem even worse.
This is what Mercutio meant when he said a plague on both your houses
The Addams family just got high on yuppie mushrooms from the 80’s and 90’s and decided to redecorate.Seriously, waddafuk did I just see?!?!?!
Man… that place is hilariously over-decorated.
And it’s at least twice the size of any house I’d want for myself unless I was planning on converting it into a multi-unit residence.And I think that’s the fate this place deserves… have it mercilessly divided into 3-5 rental units… and then keep renting it until the place gets horribly run down… and then either bulldoze it or gut it and renovate.
My mind can’t convince my eyes that this isn’t all computer generated.
Methinks someone works for or owns a tile shop/factory. I’ve never seem that much tile in a home in my life. Its on the ceiling in a couple spots. Hugh Hefner’s estate called. They want the Grotto back.
Saks 5th Avenue on the streets, Cracker Barrel in the sheets.
Even the furnace area was painful to look at.
Well, when the exterior looks like a correctional facility, or a Theresa Guidice special, what do you expect?
I’m afraid to ask where the Elf on the Shelf is…
It’s like if this was the secret hookup pad for Ms. Claus and Tony Soprano.
Someone needs to alert the tumblr user Mcmansionhell
This is why we need a wealth tax. Once people have a certain amount of money, they spend it on dumb bullshit like this.
Honestly, the christmas decorations are the most tasteful thing about this house (okay, fine, the pool is pretty nice)
“Honey, it’s February. Time to put the Christmas decorations away.”
“…Um, they are as put away as they’re going to get.”
Good Charlotte had the right idea.
Gaudy as fuck and ugly as sin, Jesus!They would have to pay me to move in there.
“Oh, you meant Santa comma stop here. My bad.”
As my mother always said having money can’t buy you good taste.Ick.
What is with photoshopping the same flying bird picture onto every TV in the house?
I’m at work. I got to that first christmas decoration picture and loudly said something like “oh dear god!”
…Good thing there’s no one else in the office.