Tommy Wiseau's here to fill the Sharknado-shaped hole in your heart
Aux Features Coming Distractions
Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero’s last collaboration, Best F(r)iends, looked like a step up from the brain-melting ineptitude of The Room, with an outside director mining the pair’s odd-couple chemistry for something other than laughs. Expect no such defiance from their new project, though, as Big Shark very clearly hopes to fill the gaping wound left by Sharknado’s final chomp.
Wiseau debuted a teaser for the project in London last week, revealing that the film follows three firefighters in New Orleans (played by Wiseau, Sestero, and Isaiah Laborde) who must square off against the titular beast. You can now watch that teaser, which finds the trio unlucky in love as they navigate the Big Easy. And, this being a Wiseau movie, the funniest part isn’t the CGI shark so much as it is Wiseau’s mumbly commentary. “Water! Look at that,” he observes as a wave inexplicably crashes at their feet.
A cursory glance at Laborde’s IMDb page shows that he’s produced a number of shark flicks, including Trailer Park Shark and Nightmare Shark, so one shouldn’t expect this to deviate too far from the schlocky SyFy template. The selling point is Wiseau, who’s also revealed that the film has yet to complete filming. The teaser’s here to help scare up funding, which, considering the man’s ubiquity in a post-Disaster Artist age, shouldn’t be too hard.
83 Comments
the titular mammal.I’m just going to leave this here hoping it’s a weird joke.
Aww. He edited it. I thought there was some kind of ethical ban on proofreading and editing at the AV Club.
So did I, to be frank. I guess we have at least one remaining writer who still gives a fuck. I still can’t get over “The Boston Marathon bombing movie 22 July” error from a few days ago.
I was hoping they were right, and we’d finally get the cinematic miracle of a shark with tits.
“who must square off against the titular mammal.”
Except sharks aren’t mammals.
Titular mammal? Not unless it’s a dolphin disguised as a shark to get revenge or something.
This is for my best friend!*SLAP*
I’ll handle this.
Sad to say that none of those things are allowed on airplanes anymore.
In the airlines’ defense, the Hare Krishnas were getting out of hand.
Someone could have been allergic to those flowers!
Sharks are not mammals! Fired, blunder, etc.
https://extremesharkfacts.com/shark-questions/are-sharks-mammals/
Is Tommy Wiseau a mammal?
Is a wookiee a bear?
Does the Pope shit on an altar boy . . . in the woods?
The Vatican says no, but keep your eyes peeled for my 8 part Netflix documentary: The Shitty Pope: Assumptions of a Documentary Maker out later this year!
If Morgan Freeman narrates it, I’ll watch pretty much anything.
Oh…it’s Aaron Mahnke. Sorry.
Dammnit!
Is Tommy Wiseau a sandwich?
No, he’s a chicken. Cheep cheep cheep!
He has the taut, leathery hide of a sunbaked Hereford, so I think the taxonomy checks out.
I was hoping that link was a shark themed version of the Real website.
“Oh, hi Shark”
“You invited all my sharks; good thinking!”
How’s your sex life?
Want to play some football?
“Shark, you are tearing me apart… literally.”
“The shark’s going to prison!”
“I got the results of the test back, I definitely have breast cancer…AND SHARKS!”
Oh hi, titular mammal!
That’s redundant. It is my understanding that only mammalian organisms can be titular.
A STAR FOR YOU
Sorry, but intentionally trying to create a bad movie never works. The Room or Plan 9 work because while they’re inept movies on pretty much every level, they have heart and sincerity that carry the day. When you try and wink-wink, nudge-nudge the audience like Lost Skeleton of Cadavera or Kung Fury, and go “Look! We’re making a Bad Movie! Is it funny!” it just doesn’t ring true and the joke often overstays it’s welcome.
As someone with a deep-seated love of shitty movies, especially 80s ones, I seethe whenever somebody mentions that I must love “Kung Fury”. Acknowledging that one’s cynical, incompetent cash grab is cynical and incompetent doesn’t make it any less so. In fact, I’d argue that the only “intentionally bad” thing worth watching is “Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace” precisely because it’s extremely clever and well-made by people who are experts at genre parody.
Intentionally bad?!?!?111?!!
Wow. And I thought I was alone in my disdain for Kung Fury. They’re were right. ‘you’ll never walk alone.’
Black Dynamite was a pretty-good intentionally-bad flick… (and I agree 110% on Darkplace)
I would add Black Dynamite to your list, but otherwise agree
Personally I think Lost Skeleton of Cadavera is fun, but that’s because it feels like an affectionate parody.
Likewise.
Yes, that movie is FUCKING hilarious. Sorry, I lost control there for a moment.
I am a longtime MST3K fan and while I love bad movies, intentionally bad movies drive me up the wall. They are never, ever, ever funny. It doesn’t help when directors that once made unintentional bad movies decide that they need to start making intentionally bad movies.
(I should probably add that I think Lost Skeleton was a good parody and not an “intentionally bad movie,” but my user name was probably a clue to my opinion)
This is the difference between Birdemic and Birdemic 2.On the flip side there’s just bad movie makers who continue to make bad movies. See A Talking Cat?!
Everyone should see A Talking Cat?!?
Rifftrax last month put up another film by the guy, Santa’s Summer Home. It is so bad, the best thing though is they use the same house as A Talking Cat?! and you go through each scene trying to locate all the same window dressing again.The car chair, the tree with high heels on, they’re there! Just in new places.
…and that’s why I haven’t watched Birdemic 2 or Samurai Cop 2
Who authorized a Samurai Cop 2?! They can’t even do a live show of ALL of Samurai Cop 1.
Kung Fury went from amusing to exhausting within 5-10 minutes. Are they still planning a feature length version?
I think it was a sequel that they were planning. That got kickstarted initially right?
I sure as hell hope so.
I agree, but I think that “Lost Skeleton” is the exception. As Sentient Beard states, it’s a parody of bad movies rather than an intentionally “so bad it’s good” film. And I’d argue that there’s a good deal of deliberate humor in it, notably the dinner scene.
But, yes, sincerity is what makes “The Room,” “Plan 9″ and “Birdemic” work. The fun is in watching someone reach well beyond their grasp and make inexplicable, weird choices not for their own sake.
I’m pretty sure Lost Skeleton of Cadavera was supposed to be celebrating B-movie shenanigans rather than parodying them though, so I’ll give it a pass.
Sorry, but intentionally trying to create a bad movie never works.
Black Dynamite
Sorry, but intentionally trying to create a bad movie never works.
Black Dynamite
Making an good intentionally bad movie is always a disaster, but I don’t think the movies you mention are those. Kung Fury was a broad, absurd parody of over-the-top action movies. Lost Skeletons was a parody of 50’s B-movies. Black Dynamite is a loving satire of 70’s, cheap blaxploitation films. It takes an understanding of the movies they’re pulling from to make them entertaining. Simply making an intentional bad film because you accidentally made a so-bad-it’s-good film won’t work because you don’t understand why it was successful. You made bad choices not because they were bad, but because you thought they were good when they were not.
And yet, Sharknado (intentionally bad) begat nearly as many sequels as Police Academy.
I’ll never understand how, out of all of SyFy’s killer shark movies, Sharknado was the one to get a cultural foothold and spawn a franchise. Maybe I’m underestimating the public’s love of chainsaws. That said, I felt 2 and 3 were actually more enjoyable because they really went balls out with the stupid ideas. I don’t think they were aiming for intentionally bad so much as they aimed for intentionally ridiculous without caring if any of it actually worked or not.
Didn’t Tara Reid get her arm bitten off in one? I just think a lot of people would tune in just for that.
I will go out on a limb and say that “Sharknado” (the first one, and portions of the second) may be the actual exception of the intentionally
“so bad, it’s good” film. They smashed together two of the chief genres of the SyFy “originals” (freak weather and sea monsters) and ran with it as far and as fast as they could. Ian Ziering leaping into the mouth of a flying Great White and chainsawing his way out was a bit of berserk genius. (And that it turned out to be the same shark that also swallowed his girlfriend whole just added to the “I can’t believe they went there” of it all.) Everything about it was stupid, but it was having so much fun that I did as well.
Yeah, Wiseau is too self aware now to ever replicate the lightning-in-a-bottle of The Room. I’d still watch this in a heartbeat if it ever pops up on a streaming service.
Man, I hate Kung Fury. It’s not funny. It’s not “good-bad.” It’s just a pile of suck. It looks worse than 1st year film student movies, and it plays into 80’s nostalgia (which makes it objectively worse).
There’s a place for movies that were made with a sense of earnestness – those that didn’t have quite the budget to really shine.
There’s even a place for movies that are silly and unrealistic, where the viewer has to buy into to axiom of the film and just ride with it.
Kung Fury is neither of these things. It feels like an action figure commercial that would have aired during the worst era of Saturday morning cartoons (I’m looking at you, 1985-1995).
Kung Fury worked great as a parody trailer. The full length version? Not so much.
God fucking damnit it’s one of those “intentionally bad” by people who made unintentionally bad films thinking that they can relive the same experience and fame.Why there can’t be more Neil Breens who are aware about the quality of their films but cares less about intentions but more on message?
Why there can’t be more Neil Breens
Do you really know what you’re asking for here? And do you really want it? Because once I set this plan in motion, there’s no turning back.
Yes
Why there can’t be more Neil Breens who are aware about the quality of their films but cares less about intentions but more on message?The message being: “Excuse me while I open these two laptops and five cellphones that are clearly not working, but I’m going to pretend are working, so that I can hack into government databases and reveal all of their secrets while I also make love to this beautiful woman I just met fifteen minutes ago.”
You forgot the tins of tuna!
yea this has a birdemic 2 vibe. no thanks. Which is how i feel about all post room tommy stuff.
Paul, June & Jason? I’m expecting big things from you guys.
In for the thunderous, sub-woofer-shaking face slaps alone.
The title is quite good, though. There’s a lovely simplicity to it. It recalls the Swiftian brilliance of “Ow, My Balls”.
I like it. It sounds like a literal translation of what they probably call Jaws in the Balkan territories.
Oh Hai, Shark!Damnit, I’m too late.
That shark is gonna send a bunch of people to a hospital on Guerrero Street.
Stupid lightning doesn’t strike twice. Also Hipster Tommy is bothering me.
I’ll have a word with his mother.
II’m not sure about sestero, but Wiseau’s native nolins accent will bring a nice level of realism to the picture.
VHAT DEW YEW MEENS?
II’m not sure about sestero, but Wiseau’s native nolins accent will bring a nice level of realism to the picture.
I wish I could star this comment again, for Tommy’s mom’n’dem.
Oh, Hi Shark!
Are they part of some Uwe Boll-esque scam where they make shitty movies and still profit thanks to tax breaks or something?