Chet Hanks is the screaming id of nepotism in his Andrew Callaghan interview
Chet Haze spits bars, misunderstands cultural appropriation, and more in his Channel 5 interview
Aux Features Chet Hanks
Few have benefited more from being a beloved celebrity’s son than Chet Hanks. The child of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, and the father “White Boy Summer,” Chet Hanks aka Chet Haze has ridden the wave of his parents’ popularity (and vast fortune) for nigh on 31 years. Last year, though, he went from occasional embarrassment to family spokesperson when he updated the world on his folks’ COVID diagnosis—only to revert to embarrassment this summer, with the advent of White Boy Summer and his anti-vaxx Instagram post. And let’s not forget the domestic abuse allegations.
But while we’ve gotten a lot of Hanks, his impersonation of Jamaican patois, and his regrettable fashion line, Andrew Callaghan of Channel 5 News and formerly of All Gas No Breaks, finally lets the man clear the air on White Boy Summer (“It’s white boys that are tuned into Black girl magic”), accusations of cultural appropriation (“Jamaican people showed me the most love”), and his celebrity upbringing (“I don’t know if I’m the richest broke kid or the poorest rich kid”).
Callaghan always lets his guests go off, comforting them enough to let their true selves emerge. Hanks is no different. He’s not concerned with criticisms from “social justice warriors” because there are more people that “fuck with what the fuck [he’s] saying than there’s people that are angry about what the fuck y’all talking about.” (Though, he does seem to think Callaghan’s own attempt at Jamaican patois is an affront to what Hanks bring to the table). While other stars, like say a Jamie Lee Curtis, feel the need to work extra hard to prove their worth and step outside the shadow of their family name, Hanks seems to truly believe that he’s already got it—whatever “it” is.
Growing up as a celebrity was really a “double-edged sword,” says Hanks. The son of two-time Academy Award winner Tom Hanks says that life wasn’t the opportunity cornucopia you’d think. “People assume that I just live this super privileged life, like Richie Rich, and that just wasn’t the case. It was actually the opposite. They never gave me an allowance.” Sounds tough—though he does admit that he never would’ve succeeded on social media without his parents, so at least he has a modicum of self-awareness.
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Gimme a brake.
Nell?
Shit. I’m old enough to now have that theme song stuck in my head for the afternoon. Dagnabbit!
Which one? Season one or season 2? 😉
Tom Hanks needs to take Chet out in the woods somewhere, or maybe the middle of the dessert and just leave him there
There’s no need to be that barbaric. Let him finish his dessert first.
LOL, what do you think Chet’s favorite dessert is ?
Its blow.
Are you saying he’s on cocaine like James Woods?
it’s pretty clearly chocolate
Definitely something Jamaican, like fried plantains with rum sauce, that he’ll say he invented all by himself.
Golden Oreos
Frozen Axe Body Spray
Whatever a fellow Rasta would eat.
Roast fish & cornbread?RIP, Lee “Scratch” Perry.
Fun time dey yah, ah time fi de bus rida!
Chet Haze is a man of the streets, so it’s probably something pretty basic like Ottolenghi’s Sticky Fig Pudding with Caramel & Coconut Topping.
La Madeline au Truffle with a livestock dewormer glaze.
A monster like him probably likes Neopolitan ice cream.
Leave him on a deserted island with only a Fleshlight volleyball for company.
Hell, leave him with a Nintendo and a fridge full of Natty Lite.
Just LEAVE HIM THERE!
chet is not going to win anyone over by dissing one of america’s most beloved actors.
Of Mice And Chet
Chet mon . . . tell me ‘bout ‘de rabbits, yuh mon . . . IRIE!
Like that old SNL sketch with George Bushes Senior and Junior.
Look, it’s Hanks’ fault for naming the guy Chet in the first place. He never had a chance.
He needs to do a DNA test.
too late now he needed to do it as a kid-but he was a kid, and by the time the full horror of Chet Hanks dawned on him, it was too late.
How is this Tom Hanks’s son?
How is this NOT Jake Busey’s son?
I like that you didn’t go with Gary Busey. You went Jake, adding one more layer of genetic degradation and unearned fame to the insult. That’s a well-crafted, scientifically sound burn.
It’s the Tom Hanks of Dragnet and Turner and Hooch’s son. Not the new, upgraded model.
There can be no light without the dark.
It’s like how the Canadians have their annual ritual where they funnel out all their rudeness, anger, and violent tendencies and magically embody them into Canadian geese. The geese fly away and the Canadians return to their placid, happy lives. Tom and Rita funneled out all the gross, icky things inside of them and incarnated them into Chet, but he keeps not flying away.
Canadians have their annual ritual where they funnel out all their rudeness, anger, and violent tendencies…I believe it’s called “hockey season.”
Wait, when do they play Chuck Mangione?
Well, when two Hollywooden types love each other very much…
I had a friend who went through a phase where he said “Know what I’m saying?” after every sentence (literally), and then would wait for a response like that.I tried telling him “YES!!! I’M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT! I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!”, but in the end, I had to just quit answering his calls til he got over it.
I’ve got a friend/coworker that says that all the time and it’s mildly infuriating hearing him talk on the phone to clients. He doesn’t wait for a response, he just keeps talking. Really nice guy though, I think he just gets a little nervous on the phone and doesn’t always know how to end his sentences lol, since I can’t recall hearing him say it much when he’s off the phone.
My friend would say “Hello?” on the phone if I didn’t acknowledge every sentence, like we must have got cut off or something.I don’t know if it was a constant need for reassurance, or just a habit he picked up. It was the 90s (IIRC) when it was sort of a thing. Either way, I started to dread talking to him after awhile.
90’s cell reception could be… highly variable, and people were still not used to the ‘dead air’ between responses that is characteristic of cell and internet voice chat. Land line calls are (or at least, were. I haven’t used one in a zillion years) essentially plunking people in the same electronic ‘room’. It was a live, syncronous connection. It was possible to talk over one another and still be heard… That’s generally not the case now. If you’re talking, the odds are good your speaker in whatever form is being auto-muted in some fashion both for bandwidth considerations (why transmit silence of the listening party?) and to avoid feedback.The point being, wondering if you were still connected if you got a couple of seconds of silence on the line was a legit worry back then, and people formed weird phone habits because of it.
My wife says “you know” after 40% of her statements and will wait/want confirmation or such, drive me insane…Because 1. Yea I understand english and 2. It wasnt a question or a state that that needed follow.
She also says “Crazy right.” about SUPER non crazy things. “man, its bright out, crazy right”….in so cal, in summer.
you might want to start inquiring about a divorce attorney you know
crazy, right?
I used to work with a guy who said “literally” all the time. For no reason. Like, “I literally ate a hamburger last night.” Just to be clear, I guess, that he didn’t spiritually eat a hamburger.
She also says “Crazy right.” about SUPER non crazy things. “man, its bright out, crazy right”….in so cal, in summer.Lmfao, I say that ironically about things that are obviously not crazy… including the SoCal sun.
she sounds delightful
why are you married to her you seem to really dislike her
I had a senior boss who ended every sentence with “Right?” Meetings were painful.
Did you work for J.Jill?
You worked for Elegant Elliot Offen?
can we be best friends? or lovers? (or both?)
I remember ages ago, when Behind the Music was still on the air, the Dr. Dre episode basically censored most of his comments because he was cursing so much, and the only thing you could make out was him punctuating sentences with “Y’know what I’m sayin’?”
No, Dre. I literally don’t know what you’re saying because they bleeped everything except “Y’know what I’m sayin’?”
Ugh for a while, like 2008-2013, everyone in my company ended their sentences with “So.”Not “soooo…”But “So.”
I’ve heard some podcasts with people who say “arright” every single fucking time they pause. It’s so damned annoying. Maybe it’s a regionalism.
Was it this guy?
On the one hand it really can’t be easy to grow up in the household of people who have conquered Hollywood. Trying to define yourself and find a path in the shadow of beloved entertainers must be fraught with struggles and self-doubt.Otoh guy sounds like kind of a douche.
Sums it up.
OTOH, Colin Hanks is a really good actor, and that’s literally all I know about him.I don’t think it had much of a future, but I loved Good Guys.You wake up one morning, it’s nothing but lasers and robots and shavin’ where the hair used to grow free. -Dan StarkIt’s like Dan Stark looked into America’s soul. Right?
I don’t think it had much of a future, but I loved Good Guys.That was such a good show.I hope Jenny Wade shows up in something soon, but I’m not holding out too much hope. Bradley Whitford needs something solid, too.
Yeah, I don’t remember that much about it now, but it could’ve been a parody of rouge cops like Stabler/Dirty Harry.Maybe it was, mostly I remember him pretending he didn’t brick a laptop looking at porn. Sure he was the “cop that played by his own rules”, but he was so stupid (though a crooked cop is so offensive) that it was a a joke.And I remember somebody blasting away but not hitting anything. I forget if that was before or after Pulp Fiction.
He’s been a bright spot on the last two season of Handmaid’s Tale. (And they’ve really need a bright spot).
I dunno, there seems to be some divided opinion on him as well.
“It really can’t be easy to grow up in the household of people who have conquered Hollywood.”lmao
Oh gee, my heart breaks for you, Chet.
Always a good time to relate that in grad school I was one of the TAs for a course this dude was taking (this was back in his Chet Haze days). He would routinely roll into lecture 15-20 minutes late, sit about three rows back from the front, put his Wayfarers on (put them on, he hadn’t been wearing them on the way in), and put his head down on the desk for 80 minutes.I doubt he recalls much of Shakespeare now.
I know a guy who’s literally living the Malibu’s Most Wanted life. Just in Florida, his grandparents own a golf course. He voted for Trump.
Bruh, I just watched the entire thing and I have so much to say about it. Instead, I’ll just point out that he was rapping in a kids bounce house (unironically?) and I hate his parents for enabling that brand of nonsense and entitlement. The dude is as doughy and white as me, but you don’t see me trying to squeeze into a basketball jersey to look tough.
dudes like this never know how to dress their gut, its always one size too small, or four times too large.
I haven’t made it past 20 seconds. I just can’t fathom his family supporting all that, they own a pretty big golf resort and I’m assuming he’s not the heir to it? Maybe there are a few others ahead of him. He also won the class speaker award (pre rap career) the year he graduated college, which everyone figured had to do with his connections. I suppose it’s commendable he follows his dream without shame. Even if he should have some. All the pictures of him are with that weird grilling look. Also reminds me a bit of the Always Sunny episode where Dee dates a guy like that.
he graduated college?
The bounce house was the most baller part of the whole thing
Thank fucking god that video has less than 10k views.
I’d expect with this kid’s background he’d at least have hired a ghost writer. That shit was just lazy bad
The first comment is great. He spammed my messages hard with the video. I haven’t actually talked to him too much just were at the same small school
That’ll show those pumpkins.
That’ll show those pumpkins.They know what they did.
Or they knew, anyway.
Raps like a guy who’s desperately trying to hide the fact that his enunciation is sharp as a tack and painfully white when he actually, you know, talks to you. The obligatory bikini girl looks lovely. Otherwise, all of this is so embarrassing.
Dead Elvis posted his certifications and the second line says “elected as Valedictorian speaker for graduation” hahaha. Like, dude, you could have done anything, and this is the path you chose?
Damn, that was difficult to watch & listen to. He’s quite a character – both a business professional, and a “preformer”, according to his website.http://massdemp.com/I’m quite impressed by his first two certifications (and curious to know how you get certified as a baller):His site is worthy of consideration by https://websitesfromhell.net/ (per https://www.avclub.com/we-condemn-you-to-websites-from-hell-an-archive-of-the-1847606263)
….um, is this ironic? i really can’t tell anymore
I want to say it started that way, like he’d do it in a speech to be funny, then it took on a life of its own.
In the early 90s, in Miami, I had a guy like this for 8th grade PE class. We called him a “wigger” (which is clear to me that that was terribly, stupidly racist, but at the time seemed like a perfectly fine thing to call him).
“It’s white boys that are tuned into Black girl magic”
WHEW!!! I thought it was some cringe-y bullshit.
I’d been thinking, “That whole White Boy Summer thing was a while ago and I didn’t pay too much attention. Maybe it wasn’t so bad in the end?” And in fact, it’s much worse.
everything he does is maximum cringe.
That might genuinely be a contender for “worst sentence I’ve ever heard”.
So I am 23 seconds in and what is fascinating to me is that he is clearly, genuinely, proud of that accent. Like, he worked on it, or maybe he feels he has a natural gift, and I think on some level he wants some recognition, some praise for doing such a good job (in his mind) with that accent. And the truly sad thing is… tragic even… even if he is doing a good job with that accent… even if he’s doing the best job in the history of the world of rich white Americans imitating Jamaican accents… and he may very well be, I am not an expert on authentic Jamaican accents… it will never be acceptable. It will never be a skill or talent that deserves any sort of positive praise, or encouragement of any sort. It’s like if you suddenly discovered you could burp farts, or that your pee tastes like canned green beans. You keep that shit to yourself.
1:31 in: “I’m not even mad, yo” [yelling, cursing, neck and face are turning beet red]
2:22 in: “People assume that I just live this super privileged life, like Richie Rich, and that just wasn’t the case. It was actually the opposite.” [marina in the background]
4:28 in: [starts explaining what “White Boy Summer” means. This may be the most awkward thing I have ever witnessed.]
5:53 in: [starts talking about random people talking to him about his dad, like a barber asking Chet to tell his dad to come by, as if this is a normal conversation/request Chet would relay to his father]This is actually pretty funny and I find myself sympathizing with-7:11 in: [Chet’s anti-vax rant]Sympathy withdrawn.7:27 in: [imitating his father watching one of Chet’s videos] “This could be like Cardi B!” I am almost brought to tears by the conflicted emotions that pour over me at the image of Tom Hanks looking up from a partially refurbished 1917 Smith Corona folding traveling typewriter (with original case, of course), struggling to react to Chet’s music video, reaching into the furthest depths of his 65 year old mind to retrieve awareness of Cardi B, and then deploying every ounce of his impressive acting acumen to pay a compliment to his least favorite son’s greatest passion.
yeah, i love imagining tom and rita trying to be supportive of his “art” (by which i mean the absolute steaming pile of crap from an untalented idiot)!
I like to imagine them being all “Oooh, yeah that’s great honey!” and then later in their bedroom getting ready for bed just alternating between ripping on it and giggling wildly, and bemoaning where they went wrong.
CH (5:15): Black girl magic is real
(proceeds to lounge in a chair to demonstrate)
Perfect time to segue to “what’s it like knowing Woody from Toy Story sounds like your dad?” to that very pointed and specific story I can’t relate but instantly feel.(6:26-6:40): This is your best chance at a panoramic view of his tattoos. They look like a mish-mosh of various Def Jam Vendetta II: FFNY sleeves and the GTA: San Andreas chest and back tats BUT not until you’ve unlocked the other half of the map. Of course, I’m puzzled why some guy totally not a stringer for TMZ is there filming him doing a handful of pushups and working his stomach like a speedbag but it more or less explains itself. Once again, Chet dances with self awareness as someone who resents living in the shadow of his famous dad but is also building a brand he acknowledges wouldn’t exist if his dad wasn’t the tragicomic family drunk on the very special episode of Family Ties, among other things.(6:42): FLAME WIPEI will give Chet Hanks one caveat because I’m pretty sure his dad has called him a fuckup pothead and he did it sounding and looking like Tom Hanks and I can see that cut to the bone. That said, what does he want from them? His dad is Tom Fucking Hanks and he’s rolling his eyes that his dad said (total Hanks voice) WELL UHH SON THAT UH…SOUNDS LIKE THE CARDI BHe wants his dad to get him but he also wants to POP OFF?(8:00) Can you spit for us?
Balcony Freestyle (TBA)
That last paragraph is a thing of great beauty, my friend.
That last paragraph is absolutely beautiful.
The only way that I can square “Haze” (this jerk’s nom de “music”) with Hanx (how his dad signs his social media posts) is that the former is the sin-eater for the latter. There’s some sort of weird psychic connection, like the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation in which Picard becomes the absorber of the negative emotions felt by Spock’s dad so that the latter can do his job.
I really appreciate these cliffnotes, because I just very much do not want to listen to this fucking guy today.
Agreed.
I hope you don’t mind me also marveling at my favorite parts of the trainwreck, because I had to share the transcribed lyrics of Chet’s first “bars, rhymes, raps, etc et. al” because in spite of the slick editing of this piece an important detail gets lost (YouTube CC get a gold star for its rare due diligence):
First thing first, man, we talkin bout the hearseI got mad gifs, but this curse aboutOr when life stops, in good times, debrisAnd, dice in grandma, rest in peaceBear with me: you know how ODB’s first lines in “Protect Ya Neck” is First thing first, man, ya fuckin with the worst-
and YouTube CC is back to being completely lost at the hook of White Boy Summer, but you get the idea. But please, Chet. Explain further. Also, who is Jack Harlow?
AV CLUB (5:00): How long have you preferred Black Queens?CH (5:o5): (sniffs) As long as I can remember!
there should be a special place for you in heaven for “live-streaming” this garbage so I don’t have to. Bless you.
“I didn’t have a FUCKIN allowance” is great but the most hidden gem in his rant about how his rebellion against his inherent privilege (apart from seeing his early Vin Diesel looks and the future of his Ayn Rand Bicep Sleeve with the doubly ironic statement permanently etched on the son of Hollywood royalty, in original Latin no less) led to his mom flipping shit about finding him with weed and sending him to WILDERNESS CAMP.Now, he makes it sound like one of those “troubled kid” camps where you get kidnapped out of your bed and you go from being Chet Hanks to Shia Labeouf from Holes. No, as someone who attended Catholic school and several mandatory retreats can attest that if the worst thing that happened that your got woken up early to be forced to go on a day hike? https://www.christiantoday.com/article/tom.hanks.son.describes.meeting.god.while.at.wilderness.camp.for.bad.behaviour/136458.htmLook at this fuckin asshole trying to stay out of juvie, our only mistake was going to Catholic high school and the only time anyone went outside was all the poor Juniors smokin with cigarettes. But this shitheel profiled in CHRISTIANTODAY.COM never came back.
At 3:33 he goes from bouncing between self-awareness and goes straight into that whole Leather Jason Mraz look and we’re not even at the 4 minute mark before we even scratch the surface of when Chet Haze (nee Hanks) first knew he was a teenage rap phenom:“bars, rhymes, raps, whatever you want to call them-”I don’t know, Chet. You’re the purported rapper, street poet, wordsmith, or whatever. I guess beatboxing, too?
Hey! I for one would like to hear more from Poory Poor, and his trials and tribulations. Said in a patois because sure why not.
He’s so mad about the idea of SOME ASSHOLE calling him out on the internet because some bullfighter was all like HELL YEAH PUT THIS ON in a hypothetical scenario he just made up to get mad at at? Yep!
or that your pee tastes like canned green beansWould that really be an improvment though?
I was going to say. Why not the obvious, lemonade?
The Obvious Lemonade is actually a better name than Chet Haze.
Do like a weird James Lipton kinda thing and ask every single actor you meet what does their pee taste like.
Get real. People who are into dancehall and jungle music; etc. use patois terms all the time. No one thinks they are “appropriating” anything, they’re just fun words to use and they’re part of the culture so it doesn’t matter whether you grew up using the terms, you’re allowed to talk like that if you’re into the scene. I mean, please google a David Rodigan video—a white British guy who is a fucking DON of dancehall music—and realize you’re completely and utterly wrong.
Like a Safdie Bros movie I had to buckle up for several safety stops while I watch Chet Hanks’s fuckup son fuck up being interviewed by a guy who only looks like Weird Al’s fuckup son but can somehow get the roughest of a ten minute cut. My favorite part in the first minute is when he rants about how it’s totally fucked up he can’t just fly to Spain and ask a matador to teach him how to fight bulls without someone on the internet might feel like he’s appropriating bullfighter culture?
Yeah, this is behavior you see from wealthy people who have spent a little too much time on social media, and wants to feel like he’s part of the crowd regardless of his wealth and privilege. It’s bad enough that you can clearly see he has lived a pretty well-insulated, sheltered life and knows little of the world outside his fascination of certain things.
You’re doing the Lord’s(?) work. Or… some kind of work.
Well, he looks almost qualified to clean Lorde’s pool.
That really is it. He got into something new, and put in time and energy to get “good” at it, and can’t accept the possibility that there’s no praise waiting for him. He’s visibly offended by the suggestion that Andrew might be doing just as good a job as him.
as far as jamaican accents go…well, he’s no Snow.
Thank you for…informing me. A lickey boom boom down.
he does not, as they say, come original
People from Jamaica said he gave them a bum steerBut everything he learned, he learned from an auctioneer
you can’t say it will “never” be acceptable, when in fact “funny accents” has long been something that people were allowed to excel at until about fifteen or twenty years ago. Go on, peruse last-gen media. You think it’s hard to find “Robin Williams putting on a Jamaican accent” or “Billy Crystal pretends to be a Chinese food delivery guy” or “Conan O’Brien pretends to be Italian” examples? It’s not.
So yes, change the rules of what’s acceptable, but don’t pretend it’s ALWAYS been unacceptable, because i assure you, it was mainstream accepted. I’m not defending it, but don’t change history to conform to the present.
You seem to be confused as to the difference between future and past tenses.
“People assume that I just live this super privileged life, like Richie Rich, and that just wasn’t the case. It was actually the opposite. They never gave me an allowance.”We need to mass produce guillotines.
“They made me beg! Ask for a Lambo, get a Lexus. Ask for a mansion, get a condo. Ask for a pound of dank and some Molly, get a lecture on substance abuse. Eventually you start to take this shit personally.”
I don’t know who that actor was, but he is a goddamn treasure for that delivery. Channelling gigatons of unvarnished, baffled contempt into that sole line is just so damn good.I just wish that clip wasn’t edited.
Yeah, those edits are awful. To illustrate, the way he carefully enunciates “I award you no points” in the original really reinforces how little he trusts that Billy is going to be able to understand how much he failed in the task if it’s not carefully spelled out for him.
And the pause that comes after that line, to emphasise the gravity of his failure.At least they kept the catch in his voice when he stammered at the beginning of “…e-everyone in this room is now dumber…”.Full fat clip:
Yeah. I thought something was missing. I checked more than one clip.
I have no idea why anybody’d ever edit that out.
Jim Downey. Wrote for SNL for many years.
“hoping your number found room in my phone?”
Meanwhile Colin Hanks continues to be an underappreciated, solidly reliable character actor.
Meh. He was horrible on Dexter.
Agreed. Colin Hanks was the one thing wrong with Dexter.
Agreed. Nothing with Dexter was ever wrong except for Colin Hanks
it’s 2021… put a /s on that.
is that sarcasm? Because ive heard there were several things wrong with “Dexter”.
I mean, the material he was working with was not good. To his credit, my very favourite moment of the show was when he suddenly appeared on the boat and greeted someone (it’s been a while – I don’t remember what was happening now), by saying, ‘Hello, whore’. The dialogue was so…so bad. He was good on Fargo and he seems like a genuinely decent person.
To be fair, that whole season of Dexter was awful. But he was also really bad in his episodes of Band of Brothers, for which he has no such excuse.
He’ll never play a Jamaican.
Funny enough guy on CBB
He’s got a really interesting one season arc on ‘Mad Men’, in a role that plays kind of like a sadder version of a classic Tom Hanks type.
He was kinda perfect as the slightly weiner-y officer on BOB.
He was sufficiently weinery, I’ll give him that.
Is he though?
The universe has to balance itself out.
true story—Colin Hanks (I *assume* it was Colin Hanks) accepted my FB friend request and messaged with me for a bit while I was walking with family through Audubon Zoo a few years ago (I was in their bayou exhibit to be exact). He has since “unfriended” me but for about 15 minutes it was a very cool and surreal moment.FYI if you’ve never been to the Audubon Zoo I highly recommend it.
He should star in a gritty reboot of Shasta McNasty, my doods and my brosefs. Old school.
Triggered by accents. Lol.
The freestyle rap at the end is something else
Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman looks like the eptiome of old school charm and class compared to this fucking clown. Plus at least Jesse was good at something, chemistry.
…had a more thought out business plan than Chet Hanks.
Hmm. If you get confused about whether you’re rich or poor, you’re rich.
I’ll trade a years income for his years whateber
if its based on his rap or acting career youd probably lose money on that bet, unless you work min wage or something. Remember, he doesnt get an allowance, im sure even a saint like Tom Hanks is like “fuck this kid”, at this point.
not if his parents arent giving him any of that money. Which i could totally see them doing in this case.
Ras Trent up there needs more coke.
I’m one of the few people (I guess?) who has never liked Tom Hanks. At all. I find him creepy. His characterizations in his early films, and even the later ones, present him as a total charmless sack of arrogance. Is it weird that he doesn’t do ‘sex scenes’? And, for some reason, I keep forgetting that he is not a member of Scientology because he and his wife absolutely strike me as people who would do that. So I’m not surprised that (at least) one of his kids turned out an emotional mess: the guy gets uber-manic about the least important stuff. He probably didn’t get much positive attention and feedback, just for starters. It can’t be pleasant (or even healthy) to be the child of very famous people who can seemingly do no wrong in the eyes of the public. He probably knows a lot of things that we don’t. I suspect there’s considerable hypocrisy inside his family’s dynamic and maybe he isn’t as deft at managing that disconnect as other fame-adjacent kids.
I’ve never been a fan either. People don’t get it, as though it can’t be true, and I’m deliberately trying to be controversial. (Although I do remember being amused by some of the reruns I saw of Bosom Buddies.)
well it is pretty mystifying. hes a good actor, and by all accounts, a great guy.
You’re kinda projecting and presuming and inventing a LOT.
Accusing someone of “projecting” has become a convenient and incredibly wrong-headed way of saying “I don’t like what you’re saying.”So, instead of a one-size-fits-all dollar store diagnosis, maybe you could define “projection” and then clarify just how, exactly, I’m doing that.Didn’t think so.
Oh get tae fuck. You are WILDLY speculating based on…your own reactions and presumptions. “Isn’t weird that he won’t do sex scenes?” …no? Who gives a fuck? Youre out there in conspiracy theory land, pal.
Well maybe he and Anna Kendrick can both get not-nude and do a not-sex scene together and all us assholes will still line up to see it.
You’re projecting about them saying you’re projecting.
He’s creepy because he won’t do sex scenes?
At the moment, it looks like two people either agree with you or are agreeing with you just to be careful because it seems like you might lunge.
Whoa.
He’s just always seems to play Tom Hanks, and I think that’s why the wider internet loves him. He’s incredibly safe, familiar, and repetitive. I’ve yet to see him disappear into a role like better actors, like Sir Anthony Hopkins or Philips Seymour Hoffman – the last one’s relevant because PSH ran fuckin’ rings around him in Charlie Wilson’s War. Hell, even Johnny Slats out-acted him, and he was only in the film for three damn minutes.It was appropriate that Hanks was paired with Julia Roberts in CWW – both are vanilla hamming up Southern accents, both are bland, both are safe.Same with Leo Di Caprio.
He’s just always seems to play Tom Hanks, and I think that’s why the wider internet loves him. He’s incredibly safe, familiar, and repetitive.
You’re right, but there’s no trick on the audience, and it’s not a bad thing (not that you’re saying that). The price of being able to ‘play Tom Hanks’ is that the general public has to genuinely like and respect you enough as a person to be able to want to pay money to watch you play a version of yourself, time and again. He’s been in some bad ones, but I’ve always thought he earned the unique spot he’s in, and of good, bankable actors of that sort (Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Tom Cruise even), Hanks just seems like the one with the most range and track record, although Will Smith is really good in that role as well.
And that’s why I honestly believe that Hanks’ career had its origins in a slaughtered ungulate at a crossroads.
They’re all classic leading actors; it’s just a different acting skill (that’s probably actually more rare?)
I’ll take a few examples from his filmography. Please explain how these roles are all the same variation of the Tom Hanks personna:- A League of Their Own- Road to Perdition- The Lady Killers- Cloud Atlas- Captain PhilipsIt’s ok that you don’t like Tom Hanks. You don’t have to. But claiming he always plays the same roles the same way is baseless.
– A League of Their OwnShouty baseball coach Tom Hanks.- Road to PerditionGangster Tom Hanks.- The Lady KillersSir Alec Guinness Tom Hanks.- Cloud AtlasTom Hanks x 6. – Captain PhilipsHero Fantasy Tom Hanks (ship captain variant).Also, point out where I said I don’t like him.Go on. Go on! I dare ya. Bet you can’t do it.
So your argument is that these roles are played by the same actor?
It’s Haley Mills and . . . Hayley Mills in . . . The Hanks Trap!
Yeah he’s not the greatest actor of all time or anything but those are pretty clearly distinct roles.
If you think Hanks in The Lady Killers was the same ‘ole Hanks, there’s no point continuing the discussion.
even in his one villain role-road to perdition-he couldnt be a TOTAL villain. They had to pair him up with an orphan or some shit.
Tell me again how Woody and Forrest Gump are the same character?People just forget his depth.
Hanks is not the same sort of actor as PSH, no, and he’s probably not as good an actor as PSH was – but then, few are.
Hanks isn’t someone who can vanish into a role [though I’d say he can do it better than Anthony Hopkins!]. That doesn’t mean he’s always the same person, but sure, you can always tell it’s Tom Hanks. But that doesn’t mean he’s not a good actor – acting isn’t just disguises. Acting is getting people to accept that the fictional character is a real person they can care about, and that’s what Hanks is brilliant at. With almost any character, whether it’s a paper-thin role, or an unsympathetic role (like his hitman in Road to Perdition), Hanks makes his characters project gravitas and warmth, and leads audiences to care about them. Most actors can’t do that, and that’s why he’s in such demand for big films: you don’t have to have a genius screenwriter creating a well-rounded, empathetic character who the audience will automatically identify with… you just need to hire Tom Hanks and he’ll do the heavy lifting all by himself. Plus, he has a really good comedic sensibility, which makes the fun roles more fun and lightens the darker roles without puncturing them.DiCaprio, on the other hand, is just an astonishingly good actor, who’s been blessed with both overwhelming charisma (albeit a colder, more brittle kind than Hanks) AND fantastic technical skills (even if he doesn’t always need to use them). His only problem is that his face is too famous – but if he’d never been a star, he’d be a beloved character actor who you always recognise but can’t remember the name of…
I always think of it as watching an actor disappear into the character vs. you as the audience member disappearing into their character. The latter is arguably less flashy but it’s definitely its own skill.
That’s really well-expressed, thank you!
you think anyone wants to see him do sex scenes? Hes not stupid, im sure hes self aware enough to know that.
Chet Hanks is a sack of shit. You have to be the only person who would blame his parents. its just him. The other son is fine.
i liked him in ‘that thing you do.’ but not much else.but um, i don’t know if i’d want to see him in a sex scene….
Wasn’t there a love scene cut out of Philadelphia?
Morgan Freeman doesn’t do sex scenes. Neither does Neal McDonough.
…what, god no, it’s not “weird” to not do sex scenes. What the hell!?!?
So what’s going on with Jim and Larry these days?
To be fair, absolutely nobody understands “cultural appropriation”.Because it’s, y’know, bullshit.
He kinda has alcoholic face bloat combined with too much tanning. He’s gonna end up looking like Joe Rogan in no time if he keeps it up.
I watched some Newsradio the other day and man. Many men get bigger as the age, but jesus, Rogan has aged not so well.Neither has Dave Foley, but that’s because dude ate his feelings, which I can’t blame him for. Been through the shit. Some his own doing, but some…. yikes.
Joe Rogan? Horse worms!!!
Said it before, but I’ll say it again: I didn’t believe Chet Hanks was a real person for a very long time. I thought he was something the AV Club made up, because it’s inherently funny; Tom Hanks is so likable, so you make up a douchebag white rapper son as a goof. I’m still not 100% convinced he’s real and this isn’t just a long con.
Yeah, his real son is a good actor who looks just like his dad, he was even in Dexter!
Succeeding where Joaquin Phoenix couldn’t.
My grandfather was an extremely devout Pentecostal preacher, and his youngest son, my uncle, was the lead singer of a death metal band. Sometimes reality is like a badly written movie.
pastor’s kids either end up exactly how mom and dad wanted or they really don’t
reason #294 to fuck T***p–he absolutely murdered satire and then shat on its corpse. I used to kinda enjoy satire too, now I can’t tell what’s real or not.
To me Tom Hanks is even MORE likeable because he has a fuck up, douche-y son. Especially since Colin Hanks is so great too (I still miss “The Good Guys”).
Think about how insufferable this guy will be at 40 years old.
I’m 45 & he’s really working on my nerves. That’s what you meant, right?
Chet Hanks is the Anti-Hanks.
This is certainly a case of “I’m privileged, insulated, yet proud and I’m learning about the world outside my sanctuaries!”Oh, and privileged, narcissistic people always, ALWAYS are intolerant of criticism and moments that demand self-awareness. Going “a little” to humanize yourself and make yourself some sort of victim when your brashness tells otherwise is typical high-end narcissism. It’s pretty cliche to see it from someone of a higher class.
They never gave me an allowanceSo what jobs did he have in high school and college then?I understand parents paying tuition, meal plans, and other school moneys wouldn’t be considered allowance, but “spending money” sure would be allowance, imo.And his music and acting jobs these days as an adult I don’t think are enough to pay his for his lifestyle. If parents are even just paying his mortgage/lease as an adult, that’s allowance for sure.
yeah id be interested in knowing if they actually subsidize him, or hes cut off like a black sheep.
Honest to God- I want to see a DNA test. How could this possibly be??
Family Hanksgiving must be lit.
Surely All Gas No Brakes has reached early 2000s Daily Show level of cultural saturation where only an idiot would agree to be interviewed by Callaghan, right? If that dude called me and asked for an interview, I’d hang up, shut down all social media, and call some of my closest friends to have them tell me truthfully what stupid and terrible things I’ve done to deserve such attention.
Yeah, that’s what killed off The Chaser’s War On Everything. They got some good ones in, but by the end, pretty much every one was “Oh – you blokes from The Chaser?”
God that show was good in its first two seasons particularly. Just an absolutely blast.
Where is the Andrew Callaghan + Connor O’Malley + John Wilson morning news show we deserve?
The “clueless white rapper who has more money than talent” is a sketch character that’s been done a thousand times now. Looking at the reality, no one’s ever written the parody broadly enough.
Spot ON. This is it, right? If I saw this on SNL I’d think … nah. Too over the top.
Not cool to post this, as this was for Patreon subscribers only. Kinda defeats the purpose. Andrew is out here doing it!
This douche nozzle used to remind me so much of A.J. Soprano. Except now he’s full on channeling Jackie Aprile Jr.Here’s hoping papa Hanks keeps him away from the penguin exhibit
I love Tom Hanks, but at the end of the day, he’s the one who named his son Chet.
I think his actual name is Chester
Lemme guess…
Let ME guess…
No no, let ME guess :
chet was a cool, old fashioned western name, before Chet Hanks ruined it.
Posted for posterity, my best transcript of Chet Haze (nee Hanks) freestyling ft. Andrew Callaghan’s skater hat making him look like Weird Al’s fucking nephew collaborating
(Intro) Have you spit any bars recently that you’re hyped abouto kaywe’re chillin on my balcony, I’m doing an interviewwith youan-drewand I’m sayin you’re THAT DUDEYOU GOT A BIKER HAT ON WHAT’S THAT ABOUTIS IT FOR THE CLOUT?TO SAY ROUTE 66I PICK UP STICKS (transcriber’s note: I swear I am not fucking with you because I was this close to slipping in a CY-N-TH-IA so let the record show my remarkable restraint in transcribing a Chet Haze Hanks condo balcony freestyle no one asked for, but you’re welcome)I might just pick up your fly ass bitch in a whip, YOU BELIEVE?!I MIGHT DO SOME BURPEES RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY SHIT, you know what I mean?(Yung Al Yankovic, first of several times he sounds either like Diddy chiming in or like he things Chet is done rapping and just responding to another empty interview line) uh huhYOU KNOW WHAT BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO GET A PACK OUT OF SIXLIKE A SIX PACK?! (emphasis mine, he practically mumbles it because he knew he fucked up the moment he spat BURPEES he knew he was in the weeds so like every good rapper he had to improvise -ed.)I MIGHT DRINK A SIX PACK OF STELL-A, WITH A BITCH NAMED BELL-ABECAUSE I’M A GOOD FELLA (Weird Money Yank, nodding while hiding his disappointment Chet doesn’t have a Twlight riff): mhmYOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING(Chet Hanks guffaws like a buffoon while he murmurs agreement, still not sure if he’s done rapping or now) HRR YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANit says off the dumbest off the cuff I JUST SPIT THE TRUTH NO BLUFF
YA’LL UNDERSTAND YA MUST TO KEEP IT REAL…IF YOU’RE REALLY IN THE FIELD LIKE HOLYFIELD THEN YOU ALREADY KNOW THE DEAL(Weird Daddy Yankee): Nods patiently like a nursing home aide letting himself talk himself out before coaxing him back to bedYOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN IT’S WHITE BOY SUMMER I SHOWED IT REAL(Checkin Casual Watches Mafia): MHM MHM MHMITS NOTIT’S NOT ON YOU IT’S IN YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT i’M SAYING?I’VE BEEN A FOOL BUT I’VE BEEN THAT DUDE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN9:00-9:03 makes you pity and appreciate the interviewer and crew who spent way more than 10 minutes with Chet Hanks. I admire the fact he sat through a minute long freestyle making noncommittal noises because he couldn’t tell if he was done rapping or he was done. He puts his fist on his chin like his entire face has been done with this 2 hour mandatory meeting already running late and his body language just can’t fuckin pretend it needs to go now.9:05: AND I’M JUST…JUST TRYIN TO KEEP IT COOL LAID BACK KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING LAID BACK LIKE PAT SAJAK(series of nods and attempt to control body language while trying not to telegraph with your face and everything AH FUCK WE’RE STILL GOING)LIKE PAT SAJAK I SPUN THE WHEEL OF FORTUNEknow what I’m sayin, I gotta bitch she gorgeousI’M TRYIN TO MAKE IT TO THE FORBES LISTYOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING I’M JUST CHILLIN ON MY PORCH BITCH(outro) mhm mhm mhmHA HA HA HUHHHHSo I gotta recite it, I just write it and every time I recite it I ignite ityou know what I meanI ignite it, because I’m really lityou know what that means?cuz I’m really with the shits (inaudible back and forth)Uh huh, with your bitch…and two sticks(echoing fade) Okay…
Hanks seems to truly believe that he’s already got it—whatever “it” is.
Clearly babies were switched at the hospital when he was born. I refuse to believe he’s the fruit of Tom Hanks’ loins.
JUST FUCKING KILL HIM.
That guy IS THE FUCKING WORST. He is Satan’s revenge for all the good Tom Hanks has done. I wish the media could collectively agree to just ignore him completely. “White guy who acts black and raps” is the worst thing ever. When people question what cultural appropriation is and why its bad, they need to be told about Chet Hanks.
I think he’s being too hard on himself. He’d’ve “succeeded” just fine on social media no matter who his parents are.
Imagine being a 31 year old man complaining that your rich ass parents who gave you a mansion to live in, great food and the best health care someone in this country can get didn’t give you “an allowance”If you look up privilege in the dictionary, its just a picture of this asshole.
In the same interview he says he doesn’t live a privileged life, and that he can just fly to Spain if he wants. Yeah dude, if you’re not privileged you have to save up for years and years and take time off work and and and and
Is this a parody interview?
Andrew Callaghan knows how to just let people talk and spin their own dumb magic.
Another day, another article from AV club that demonstrates their writing/editorial staff has no idea what words actually mean. Nepotism would suggest that he had been given some sort of job or position by his father or his father’s associates that he is un- or underqualified for. What job would that be? As far as I can tell, he has the exact same access and ability to be a douchebag on the internet as all the other YouTubers out there. If people are more intrigued by him because he is the child of a celebrity, that is not nepotism. His father had no role in that beyond existing. As far as I can tell, the entire Hanks family does everything they can to pretend this jagoff doesn’t even exist.
Growing up as a celebrityBold fucking claim from a person who I have never heard of.
Collin and Chet Hanks are like Arnold and Danny Divito in “Twins.” One got all the good DNA and the other got the crap that was left.