Donald Trump's Superman T-shirt stunt would've been the dumbest shit in a year of the dumbest shit
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This morning Twitter flagged yet another Trump tweet for spreading misleading information, with him saying that he had gotten a “complete sign off” from “White House Doctors” and that he is now “immune” to COVID-19 and also “can’t give it” either. Twitter put the offending missive behind a disclaimer, but—as it has done before—left it on the site because it “may be in the public’s interest” for it to remain online. That’s all pretty dumb, but it’s not even the dumbest thing we’ve heard from Trump’s camp this weekend. No, that prize goes to a detail in a New York Times story from Saturday about Trump’s rally on the White House lawn this weekend and his miraculously quick recovery from COVID.
Apparently, when Trump left Walter Reed National Military Medical Center last weekend—following his miraculously quick COVID treatment—he floated an idea that is so absurd, so mind-numbingly stupid, and so insulting to the 214,000 people who have died from the coronavirus in the U.S. that it almost would’ve made more sense for it to have actually happened. 2020 has been such an unmitigated disaster that it feels like a small mercy to discover that the dumbest goddamn thing of all time could’ve happened but didn’t. Here’s how the New York Times describes it:
When he left the hospital, he wanted to appear frail at first when people saw him, according to people with knowledge of the conversations. But underneath his button-down dress shirt, he would wear a Superman T-shirt, which he would reveal as a symbol of strength when he ripped open the top layer.
In other words, Trump wanted to do a Willy Wonka out of the hospital, stumbling slightly like a frail old man who had contracted a disease that has killed 214,000 people in this country alone, and then rip open his shirt to reveal a Superman logo before, we assume, leaping a tall building in a single bound. We don’t know what convinced Trump not to go through with this plan—because it can’t possibly be common sense, since that’s not a thing that’s been in play with these people ever—but hopefully everyone at DC Comics is thankful that they didn’t have to figure out how to put out this particular fire.
Also, as everyone who knows anything about Superman has been quick to point out: He’s an immigrant, he fought Nazis, and he’s actually a decent person who would never stand out in front of the Hall Of Justice to brag about beating Darkseid while Darkseid was still slaughtering people with his eye-lasers. Maybe Trump should’ve considered wearing a shirt with the logo of a character who is more like him, like… is there a Bizarro Lex Luthor who is bad at everything and has terrible hair? Because that would be perfect.
157 Comments
Unfortunately, I bet most living Americans who fought the Nazis support Trump.
389,292 as of last year. Because I looked that up out of curiosity.
And how many of those aren’t here anymore thanks to his handling of the pandemic?
That many Nonagenarians, really? Because the people who actually fought the nazis are in their late 80s and 90s now.
So do the Americans who are Nazis. Awkward.
“Ya know, I used to hate those guys, but after I got to know them, it turns out we have a lot in common… we’re both scared of black people!”
Fuck, I never thought I would be fighting against the same people that fought in WW2 for crying out loud. Fingers crossed most of them see him for what he is.
About 3 seasons back, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. gave Coulson a line about how he didn’t think he’d STILL be fughting Nazis in 2017 (or whenever that episode was).
The LMD arc? Damn, that was so good
They were so dumb and ignorant then (but honestly ignorant, unlike today), that they had no idea they agreed with the Nazis far more than with FDR.
The president who put Japanese-Americans in internment camps?
Hey! They had to get thrown at least a small bone!
Do you think he was progressive for his time on racial issues?
Hey, enjoy that rod up your butt.I’m sure it replaces having a spine of your own.(My word! What a self-righteous prig of an asshole!)
So was the idea that most US soldiers agreed with the Nazis supposed to be a joke?
Hey, enough! You’re a better everything than everyone else!Run for God and you’ll get my vote.You deserve such a fate.
Are you sure you’re responding to the right comment?
You are a truly exceptional asshat.We support the same things, but may we do so from a great distance.
My uncle (father’s sister’s husband) was in Pearl Harbor and then the Pacific Theatre. He was very, very liberal unlike his brothers-in-law (my father and his brothers) who are all Fox News cultists. None of those uncles fought in WW2; one served stateside during the Korean War and one served in Vietnam.
Hey, rebel flags fly proudly from shitty trucks and front porches today across the northern half of this nation today. Seems inevitable.
In related news, in an interview with the Daily Planet Superman admitted that he planned to rip open his shirt and reveal a MAGA t-shirt underneath it, after he shit his pants that one time.
“My Actual Guts Assplode!”
I suspect this is fake news from Trump’s fevered brain to puff himself up. For the simple reason the Trump leaving the hospital looked like death warmed over. His eyes had the look of fear in them. He wasn’t in a playful mood. Reports from the hospital said Trump was afraid he was going to die. The Superman T-shirt story is retconning what actually happened.
Reports from the hospital said Trump was afraid he was going to die.Not just that he was going to die, but that he was going to be one of the “diers”. Often lost under the racism, xenophobia, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny, disability-hating, anti-intellectualism and general ugliness is the fact that Donald Trump is a profoundly odd person.
Its almost as if he’s actually a pampered elite that hasn’t had a single normal conversation with a human being in his entire adult life. It’s kind of like when twins develop their own language or speech patterns because they spend so much time talking to each other instead of with someone who would correct them. Except in this case, replace the twin with sycophants, employees, and escorts.
Exactly, haha! Did Don eat his twin in the womb, though? It might explain his fondness for stem cells. My science isn’t correct on this, is it?More to your point, I honestly thought there would never be a dumber example of people seeing something that wasn’t there—in this case, an elitist as a champion of the people, or just a “good ol’ boy”—than the way millions of Americans propped up George W. Bush.But here we are.
Yup. “This weird super rich guy, who is repulsed at the site of us, really gets me.” In Republican voters’ defense (maybe the only time I’ll say those words), it does show how deeply stupid the “safe” approach of the kind of political speech I saw from 1988-2012 was. The sort of intentionally vague, “don’t ever say anything specific that someone can use against you, just speak in broadly positive aphorisms about America 100% of the time.” The reason people feel like Trump gets them, even when they know he’s lying to them, is because when he speaks they know its coming from him.I always thought the first politician that didn’t talk like a politician would run away with a victory. The first rule of both advertising and art is if you’re trying to appeal to everybody, you’re not going to appeal to anybody. But somehow, despite this, and “political speech sucks” being a foregone conclusion of every person I’d met, every political figure spoke like they were actively hedging every bet they’d ever made.
Obama kind of took the first step, he would slip into complete candidness after tragedies and sometimes in interviews, but still mostly played it safe. Hillary didn’t seem to notice that people responded well to this — or to Bernie going from a nobody to 2nd place based off of a few highly candid speeches — and instead doubled down on the vague nothingness she had known her whole political life. But if she had just echoed the thoughts of voters once and said the obvious, “Donald Trump is a crazy and stupid asshole,” she would have waltzed into the White House. Instead they sent Tim Kaine out there to spout a few forced, focus-grouped cracks about Trump’s hair, and she looked even more out of touch than ever. What I didn’t realize is that the “don’t sound like a politician” approach would still work even if that politician told nothing but obvious lies and racial slurs with all the coherence of a schizophrenic, had zero qualifications and was hostile to anyone with them, and was dangerously stupid and lazy. Live and learn I guess… if we live.
This comment. I like this comment. I think you and I should be friends. I have a feeling we’d be disgusted by the same things, which is the stuff of great online friendships, ha!
I think you can safely change “adult life” to “life”.
Actually I’m going to say that, since he still speaks like a toddler, he did have some normal toddler conversations before the age of 5.
I will say when I read the plan I was like “Look…. frailer? Could he have?”
I think you’re right, but try getting Trump to admit that NOW.
I’m just really hoping there’s:a) A major, MAJOR ‘roid-rage meltdown in the next few days.b) The cameras are on and rolling.c) The Air Force Guy with the Football has mysteriously wandered off to take a twenty-minute shit just before it unfolds.
maybe it’s “fake news” (god I’ll be happy for that idiotic phrase to be used less or maybe disappear outright) but the fact that you can’t say for sure that it’s not is all anyone needs to know about this apocalyptic shitshow of a presidency.
Hey, if he was so sick, how did he manage to drag himself laboriously up some stairs while wearing several inches of pancake makeup?
I’m shocked … he didn’t consider a Punisher logo instead. The white supremacy blue lives qanon folk all love to misinterpret the point of that character and the fact that the majority of creators and actors portraying him hate them.
Even the big guy himself told them to stop using his logo https://bleedingcool.com/?attachment_id=1054485#main
Real life Cap doesn’t much care for them and canonical one really hates Nazis, poor them Super Kid Rock is their only hero.
Whenever he does his superhero landing Sweet Home Alabama plays in the background.
Just breath, and remember: only 101 days until Trump’s fascist Reality TV shitshow gets permanently cancelled**if you vote (early!), campaign, volunteer and donate.Also….
Gut is too small.
And his posture is too straight. He doesn’t have the weird forward lean of a man who stands less than 15 minute per day.
“You’ll Believe A Man Can Lie!”
That’s more like it.
Face isn’t orange enough
“I’m not wearing hockey paddddsssss”
Shouldn’t that be a bucket of chicken on his chest?
I can’t wait to drink your tears on Nov 3rd.
this cartoon is why I kinda wish it had happened—the thought of him in a too-small Superman t-shirt, standing there proudly with hands on hips, slowly realizing there are people in the crowd laughing–we finally would have been treated to the “emperor has no clothes” moment we all deserve for enduring this dipshit for 3+ years.
Even Kryptonian super-fabric has it’s limits…There was no Superman shirt that was gonna fit Drumpf.
Just gonna mention that Lex Luthor was President in the Pre-Flashpoint DC Continuity. That ended with him injecting himself with a Kyrptonite-laced steroid and attacking Superman and Batman on the White House lawn. Also in that same story Captain Atom rammed an astroid made of Kyptonite with a Composite Superman Mech.
You know things are bad when I feel like we’d be better off with Lex Luthor as our president.
While he may be an amoral jerk, he’s at least an amoral jerk that wants everyone to like him. And he’s also competent. A Lex Luthor presidency would have some atrocities, sure, but he’d also do some good things, probably, if only to keep up appearances.That’s more than I can say for Trump.
I think Trump wants people to like him.
I somewhat agree, but I think that he is somewhat resigned that he will never achieve that universally, so he has settled for pandering to his base while getting as much negative attention as he can. Because any attention is better than no attention in his eyes.
His actual bid for Presidency goes back to the tail end of No Man’s Land, when Gotham was leveled by an earthquake and abandoned by the US Government, where he publicly defied the quarantine to personally sent aid to rebuild Gotham. Though his real plan was to buy up as much property in Gotham as he could by destroying the deeds for it.
Well Lex is an actual genius and he is also not afraid to admit he’s bald
Yea but is he a very stable genius?
You win.
“Luthor , he’s an evil , vain jerk who is will ALWAYS betray you ,but in his defense he’s intelligent , understands science and actually gets shit done efficiently .He’s a decent pres just as long as you dont mention Superman , or that time he got wasted and stole like 40 cakes, which was as many as four tens, and terrible …”
3. Every single eyebrow in that story is like six regular eyebrows voltroned together…
I always liked the idea that Lex fundamentally longs for the adulation Superman receives, but he can never receive it, because he’s morally defective — and he’s not really self-reflective enough to understand that. Lex thinks it’s just about the superpowers, and doesn’t understand that everyone loves Superman because of how he chooses to use those powers.It gives me some comfort that Trump has similarly found himself existentially dissatisfied that even though he won the same office as Obama, he will never be respected like Obama, because Trump is such a rotten person.This outlandish t-shirt stunt just perfectly encapsulates this dynamic.
Still though, way better President than Trump. Hell, Luther got us through Our Worlds At War.
I’ve always hated that storyline. Fucking Jeph Loeb. Understandably they weren’t going to keep Luthor as President forever but it was such a totally over the top flip out.
You hated the Luthor Presidency storyline in general, or the “Public Enemies” arc? Because I thought the Public Enemies arc was great. And a decent cartoon movie too.
The Public Enemies arc – It was that weird period through the mid-2000s when DC for some reason decided they wanted him to be more like pre-Crisis Luthor, with the battlesuit, that stupid purple outfit from the 1970s and the whole silver age mad scientist thing.They pulled back from that a few years down the track after they seemed to get past their whole revist the Silver Age thing that was going on around Infinite Crisis.
Maybe my memory about that is clouded by the fact that I really liked the art and general look (and just overall concept) of the Superman/Batman series. Was a nice change of pace from the tired Batman VS. Superman shtick.
Oh yeah the art is fantastic overall. That whole series had some terrific artists – Ed McGuinness, the late Michael Turner, Pat Lee, Carlos Pacheo etc. It’s a book I remember enjoying a lot in 2003-2004 but soured on it during the second half of the Loeb run and upon re-reading it a few years later.
Wait, isn’t this the bit where Captain Atom gets caught in an explosion, and then he turns up later as that fucking Countdown guy?Colorful robot notwithstanding, I suppose this is technically the beginning of his dork and gritty story arc…
Yeah the whole Captain Atom/Monarch thing goes back to a hastily rewritten plot twist in the event Armageddon 2001.Originally the plan was for Monarch to be revealed to be Captain Atom. But then fans figured out the twist and so they hastily rewrote that Monarch was Hawk despite the fact that the story made it very clear that Hawk was one of the two people who could not possibly become Monarch.A couple retcons later and it was explained that Hawk was a completely different Monarch. The stuff in Countdown was to make Captain Atom the real Monarch.
“The stuff in Countdown was to make Captain Atom the real Monarch.”“There’s only one real monarch son , and he’s mighty…”
He gets shunted into the Wildstorm universe and bangs the Engineer– I think?— before returning in the gold Kingdom Come containment suit.
It’s annoying (here, but also in other episodes that were revealed during the impeachment process) how Trump is surrounded by creeps who are stupid enough to espouse his views or to sacrifice humans for profit, yet not stupid enough to find each of Trump’s ideas a great idea.
“Say Jim, that’s a bad outfit!”
Whoooo!
Shhhh! You might get Superman: The Movie, cancelled after the fact!
I kind of wish he did it. I’m sure his base would have been pleased, but surely, some independent/swing state voters would have been like “oh, yeah, not doing that…”
“Mr President, some say that the steroids used in your treatment may induce adverse psychiatric side-effects. Have you experienced any negative symptom ?”“ON THE CONTRARY, I AM SUPERMAN !!!”* Rips shirt, jumps from the balcony. *
Thank you, kind Internet stranger, for that last bit: * Rips shirt, jumps from the balcony. *
What a phenomenal mental image, and frankly, one I’d much rather discuss than the ending of Birdman.**Because it would mean that Donald Trump had injured himself in a remarkably foolish and hilarious way, not because I dislike Birdman.****Paid for by the Harold_Ballz for 2020 PAC.
Ordering a Secret Service agent to shoot him would also be acceptable.
I dunno, especially in his current state, watching him trying to outrun a subway train might be fun. Wonder if he’d plump or explode when he hit the third-rail?Oh…well, that works…I guess?
…and his followers would insist that they actually saw him fly. Fox News would claim that he didn’t plummet, he just decided to descend to the ground to be closer to real Muricans and not be a show-off.
I am trying to decide if a balcony is better than if he just thought he was on a balcony, but is actually jumping up and down in place, huffing and puffing.
That’s just preposterous! Trump would never jump from the balcony, he can’t make it over the ledge. He falls off the balcony, but forgets the part about not hitting the ground, the very essence of flying.
As long as Trump specified he was Zack Snyder’s Superman, I’d have been fine with this idea.
Please tell me there isn’t a director’s cut of the past four years.
It’s a lot like the last four years, but with a lot more dramatic slow motion shots and less color. Also, it’s revealed that Trump is just a puppet for Darkside.It’s still somehow better than what we got.
Wait, if enough of us shout “Martha!” at the same time do you think it will end this mess?
Superman: famously got along great with billionaire real estate moguls with questionably authentic hair.
Man I had heard a whole lot about Trump posturing as a “strong man” to win votes but I never figured he’d go so literal.
So that’s who Nietzsche had in mind when he was talking about Übermensch. A barely conscious, barely functioning walking tub of bad decisions. I’m glad that’s sorted out.
I actually kind of get the feeling he was trying to copy Pinochet’s stunt with his wheelchair. And doubtlessly would have screwed it up somehow.
Superman is not only an immigrant but he is also technically not a legal immigrant.
I think it would be more accurate to call him a refugee, but Trump doesn’tlike them either so the point would be the same.
When Krypton sends people they are not sending their best!!!
“They’re sending their corrupt supergay Generals, they’re sending their vicious thugs, they’re sending their women who say ‘they need machines to fly!’ in a really mocking way… and some, I assume, are good people.”
And their disabled. According to the Kryptonian Elders, Non is “as without thought as [he is] without voice,” although to no one’s surprise, the Kryptonian legal system makes no allowances for intellectual disabilities or communication disorders.
It’s possible Krypton might have benefited from investing in government and legal reforms rather than throwing money at its space programs.
It’s what would happen if Elon Musk got into private prisons. “Mr. Musk, can’t we just build a prison?” “No, we need a SPACE prison in another dimension.”
Tell me, what border did he cross to get to the USA, Mr Immigration Law, huh? Huh?[Looks at rules NASA made up for the Apollo astronauts.]Damnit.
Maybe Trump would respect Russian “red Son” Superman. That’s some super ass kissing.
He’s an American citizen under the foundling clause
That could be debated. The foundling clause only applies if no proof of foreign birth is found before his 21st birthday. The Kents have proof he is not American born and choose to hide it. I mean this is all silly anyways and I have not kept up with Superman’s more modern origins after the several times DC has rebooted its universe. For all I know they clearly show the Kents claiming he is a foreign born child they adopted and fudged a few of the details. Hell they may have done they in the classic origin but I feel like hat sorta paperwork just wasn’t needed back in the olden days anyways. The fact is that from Presidents Law and Orders perspective Superman would be someone who took advantage of the American system! I mean he would be if he was brown. Since he’s white President Dickless would give him a pass and a metal.
“When he left the hospital, he wanted to appear frail at first when people saw him, according to people with knowledge of the conversations. But underneath his button-down dress shirt, he would wear a Superman T-shirt, which he would reveal as a symbol of strength when he ripped open the top layer.”Man, I would’ve LOVED to see all the slo-mo replays of him being unable to tear his button-up shirt open.
I mean, we would have loved it if Obama did it.
I don’t think that’s true at all.
And if it DID happen, it would be in the context of something like the White House Correspondents dinner, it would be after months or even years of Trump screaming that Obama thinks he’s superman, and it would have been superbly timed and in context, and Obama would have looked good in the shirt.
No dear.
Yes, hon.
No.President Obama wasn’t confused about the presidency being a reality show. He tried (vainly, thanks to obstructionist repubs) to actually govern and get things done in his 8 year tenure.President Obama knows actions/results are the goal. Not personal enrichment and popularity contests.
he had his own spotify playlists
That would have been incredibly lame, actually.
oh man don’t everybody trip over themselves to say i’m so wrong about thisif i write something really crazy wrong like “giraffe is an orange Peru” am i gonna see as fervent a torrent of corrections
That’s kind of like the idea that Trump’s detractors would hate him even if he cured cancer. It’s far too outlandish a hypothetical to even contemplate.
i would
Well, so would I. The point is, he would never do it, and Obama would never do a Superman shirt reveal while still recovering from a potentially fatal illness.
why not
Why wouldn’t Trump cure cancer? We can check how he handled COVID and extrapolate.
Why wouldn’t Obama do that? Because he’d wear a mask, socially distance, and, if he still managed to catch it, wouldn’t be showy and boastful.
Alex Ross did it.
we would haved it if obama made a joke about coronavirus while he was lying about having coronavirus and/or if coronavirus existed?
no way obama would never be so image obsessed
I can imagine the conditions under which Obama would do that about as well as I can imagine the conditions under which I’d grow a second head out of my ass.
We’re in a state so far removed from any expectations of normalcy or professional/presidential behavior that it defies comparison.
I guarantee you he has not had a negative test. Because if he had a negative test no power in heaven or hell could keep him from screaming it at the top of his inflamed, flabby, lungs.
Aye. I kind of wish that it was more complicated than that, but ye, it ain’t.
Someone pointed-out that his doctors don’t have to say that he’s had a positive test, but if they said he was negative and were lying, they’d be in deep shit; so that’s why they won’t say outright one way or another.
I’m honestly surprised he doesn’t just straight up lie about it, as he does everything else.
If he had done it, it would have been entirely appropriate to call it a Superboy Prime t-shirt.
Weak motherfucker probably just couldn’t rip open the shirt.
This was my first thought, then I remembered the quality of his suits.Yeah, his gut could probably get it started for him on it’s own.
His tiny hands have trouble with the buttons.
Fixed that headline.
In all his online rants has he even mention his wife once. Odd that we don’t know how Melania is doing.
Have you ever noticed that nothing in Trump’s mind exists outside of the context of Trump? Most people notie how he constantly refers to himself in all situations. If you look at his executive orders they all mention him by name over and over. I looked up Obama’s orders and his name is only listed once as the president of the USA. All his stimulous checks and other similar thing feature his name. Complete solopsism. Nothing exists outside of hisself.My cousin is a clinical psychologist that work in the prison sytem.. I asked him about this constant self-referential behavior and the level of narcissism I’ve never seen something like this before. He said he had. When he worked in prison.
Like did he need to have his signature and a letter with the stimulus checks. I didn’t even receive a check it got deposited in my checking account. What a waste of time not to mention paper and money to mail the letter to everyone.
Rich, balding, evil, all the things that make you think of Superman huh?Shit, he can’t be Lex Luther, Lex Luther is a successful genius businessman.
It really seems like he’s trying to see if he can fall behind Biden by 20 points. He’s moved beyond idiocy. I don’t know what to call it. “Aggressively moronic theater??”
Nope, this fat, diseased sack of shit ain’t claiming Superman.
Less like Superman, more like Homelander.
He’s an immigrant, he fought Nazis, and he’s actually a decent personAnd also a journalist, who Trump collectively calls “the enemy of the people.”Fuck all of these assholes forever, amen.
I’d be curious if his team had cleared using the Superman symbol? I’m guessing DC officially wouldn’t want to get involved in politics ( and unofficially it doesn’t want its brand brought down by an unpopular president)
Well I suppose the S could always stand for STUPID
He really liked guesting on WWF, huh?
Try not to forget, Superman, Clark Kent, is a moderate liberal. He’s an FDR Democrat without the racism.It’s why Obama posing near a Superman statue is much more fitting than having anything Trump near it.
The old Superman balloon from Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade wouldn’t loan him the top. That’s the only reason it didn’t happen.
They tried, but Trump was unable to rip open the specially constructed rip away shirt.
He and his cult members/supporters are so desperate to portray him and themselves as being alpha males and he’s the least alpha (physically and emotionally) person I’ve ever seen.
But wait… How would they have ever found a Superman t-shirt in size XXL?!But seriously… I would LOVED to have seen him fumble with his buttondown shirt as everyone looked on in horror, wondering what was about to happen, and then just seeing some lame freaking stunt, and then DC Comics/Warner Media issue a cease and desist from using their logo. And then pointing out that Superman was created by a jewish immigrant/son of jewish immigrants, was himself an alien, and hated Nazis and white supremacy.
I’d add a couple more Xs to that shirt size, IMO.
They were so dumb and ignorant then (but honestly ignorant, unlike today), that they had no idea they agreed with the Nazis far more than with FDR.
If he could have pulled it off as well as Willy Wonka then it would have been great. But he is 140 pounds overweight, barely functional at the best of times, and unable to even drink a glass of water. It would not have gone well.
No, the dumbest shit in a year of dumb shit has to be the California GOP setting up fake election ballot drop boxes so they could ‘harvest’ the ones that voted Democratic and throw them away.
We have Geoff Johns to thank for this Darkseid shit, don’t we