FEC declares Kid Rock couldn't have run for senate as "Kid Rock," thus clearing him of federal complaints
Aux Features Kid RockWe all had a brief chuckle when Confederate flag-loving rap-rocker Kid Rock teased a Michigan Senate run, then a spiraling onset of gut-roiling horror when we realized he’d probably win. The artist otherwise known as Bob Ritchie eventually revealed that the whole thing was a publicity stunt, but not before he forced us to imagine him “standing on the desk of the Oval Office like a G” and “holdin’ my dick ready to address the whole country.”
One should be punished for making us endure such torture, but The Washington Post reports that the FEC has dismissed a complaint brought against the rocker by election watchdog group Common Cause. Last year, Common Cause objected to Ritchie’s selling merch with slogans like “Kid Rock For Senate ’18", citing that the Federal Election Campaign Act requires candidates to track and report donations and campaign contributions. Ritchie fired back by telling them to (sigh) go fuck themselves.
In a report that must’ve made whoever wrote it disappear into their liquor cabinet for a few days, the FEC says that Ritchie couldn’t have run under the name “Kid Rock,” and that his comments on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show saying he wouldn’t run were enough to exonerate him. Furthermore, they note he didn’t seem “to have taken even the most basic steps to become a candidate.” Quelle surprise.
Earlier this year, he donated the money he made shilling his “campaign” merch to CRNC Action, a conservative voter-registration group affiliated with the College Republicans. He also campaigned for Trump-approved candidate John James, who lost to incumbent Debbie Stabenow.
This, of course, hasn’t stopped people from thinking that Kid Rock is now a senator.
81 Comments
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That guy in the center certainly sports a bold look.
That is an epic goatee to be sure.
Looks like something that might be.. comfortable to…..sit on?
That’s Jeff “Skunk” Baxter. Yes, the same Jeff “Skunk” Baxter who played with Steely Dan and who was in the Doobie Brothers at the time they appeared on that two-part episode of “What’s Happenin’!!”
I remember that episode. The tape recorder falls out of Rerun’s coat.I’m sad to know that JSB is a right-wing chode
Yes, the band is playing at full volume under stage lights in a crowded, dimly lit auditorium, and when the little tape recorder falls out of Rerun’s coat, the band STOPS and points, and EVERYONE in the place looks on at an ashamed Rerun. Classic.
No Roger No Rerun No Rent!
As opposed to a left wing chode….?
What a fool believes that Bob Ritchie had any chance in hell of actually running in the first place indeed.
Chief of Staff?
That’s Jeff “Skunk” Baxter – guitarist for Steely Dan, the Doobie Brothers and many other acts, ranging from soft rock to yacht rock to mellow rock, before he became a defense contractor and right-wing jackass.
This administration gets worse celebrities than my goddamn state fair.
He looks like Wooly Willy, when you pull all the iron filings onto his face.
well that sucks. I first thought it was a laughably overcompensating feeblemale Skunk-Baxter wannabe, such Daddy, but…shit…he was a fine guitarist, wtf happened to him. EWWWW.
How does someone who played in two of the most laid back bands of the 70’s turn into a right-wing ninny? Bizzare.
Defense contractor? Please, oh please tell me he’s involved with Blackwater.
Nothing but the most glamorous celebrities want to be associated with this administration.
Your lonely one man war against the members of Steely Dan does not go unnoticed.
All I can see.
Oddly enough his name is Old Pussy Face
Looks like “Old-Pussy Face” applies just as much as “Old Pussy-Face.”
You have to go bold if you want to stand out hair-wise, standing between Kid Rock and Trump
Yeah, Jeff “Skunk” Baxter. Fuck that guy.
“This blade will kill.”
Like someone scalped Sam Elliott’s lip and glued it on a tribble.
I think someone was confused as to which which side of the merkin was supposed to have the glue on it.
Who would’ve guessed Kid Rock would grow up to bear a striking resemblance to Captain Beefheart?
My smile is stuck/I cannot go back to your frownland/where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts
I thought it was…
This made my day, thank you.
Old age and meth I would say.
It’s about time he changed his stage name to Old Man who doesn’t Rock
The pic made me wonder why tRump and Father Guido Sarducci were shaking hands.
This guy was born in ‘71. W-T-F.
I never thought he was a breathtakingly beautiful man, but what the fuck happened to Kid Rock? Does he smoke those embalming-fluid blunts, or live inside of a petroleum refinery?He looks like Carlos Santana, if he’d taken even worse care of himself. And he’s 25 years younger.
Fuck Kid Rock, fuck Donald Trump, and fuck every Republican forever.
And ever. Amen.
AWWW! SO clever!
Right back at you, judgmental twat.
like we don’t have every reason to be judgmental. 6000+ lies or misleading statements since his inauguration and over a quarter of his time in office spent on vacation, for starters. add to that his defense of neo nazis and placing children in tent cities/prison like conditions and, let’s see…yep, FUCK HIM and everyone of his supporters. and that’s not even getting into the whole tax and tariffs b.s. or the climate. or the education system. or hud. or the epa.
Fuck tha GOP
Republicans are the only thing holding this country together, moron.
To all the greys boohooing at me because I insulted their backward, terroristic political party: Nothing pleases me more to see you worthless fucking sheep get bent over a barrel with the Don’s wrinkly, flaccid donger slithering up your crusty assholes. You are the minority, and everyone who isn’t a sociopathic, inhumane piece of shit like you HATES you. You and the generic old white dinosaurs in your party are the only terrorist threat this country faces. The only way you lot could make this country great again is to eradicate yourselves from the gene pool en masse.
Couldn’t he just legally change his name to Kid Rock?
So … I can do any damn thing I like while running for the Senate, as long as I don’t win?
once said Trump
fuck, he probably would have won too. I’ve long since learned to stop severely underestimating the stupid and hateful side of this country ever since 2016
Each of Trump’s Presidential campaigns were publicity stunts, but somehow enough people were turned on by his IDGAF approach that they ended up actually voting for him this time around. So yeah, it can happen.
his IDGAF approachI would argue his approach was more “try to lose, oh please don’t win its so much work, I need to lose”.
Oh I know, stupid liberals right, everyone of those retards thought Hillary was gonna be president. Imagine if that would have happened, so I understand where your coming from. They are the biggest hate mongers of all time. We all dogged a bullet with that one.
AVClub has become as bad as Splinter. NO APPROVED COMMENTERS LEFT, except the ones that toe the SJW line! EVERYONE ELSE? TO THE GREYS!!
I don’t see how that matters. If people know who Kid Rock is, then it endorses him, whether or not it’s under the name he’s strictly running under.
It matters because Chubb Rock is running for Congress in the same district.
Kid Rock rules u podunk
It’s nice Father Guido Sarducci finally got to meet a president.
ffs DON’T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS!!!
Look, I feel obligated to preface this by saying: I’m no Kid Rock fan. But still, I don’t want this to become a country where corny white rappers can’t fake a Senate run without getting dragged before the FEC.There are just too many busybodies with way too much time on their hands doing all kinds of shit that few people actually care about. When the fucking FEC can detect a joke and you can’t: you might be a humorless busybody.
Look, I feel obligated to preface this by saying: I’m no Donald Trump fan. But still, I don’t want this to become a country where reality show blowhards can’t fake a Presidential run without getting dragged before the FEC.There are just too many busybodies with way too much time on their hands doing all kinds of shit that few people actually care about. When the fucking FEC can detect a joke and you can’t: you might be a humorless busybody.-This comment, but in early 2016
Former white rapper. He switched to Christian Rock when middle-class white Americans discovered him when he covered soft rock songs so he could get played on the radio without heavy censorship.
Ok, smart guy. Now explain Vanilla Ice.
Shit, next thing you know, they’re gonna drag Pedro up there…
So… what about the presidential campaign of Deez Nuts?
That’s completely missing the issue here. Nearly assuredly there were plenty of people who DID NOT think it was a joke and bought that merch with the intention of donating to his cause. And the fact that the money went to a political cause kind of backs that up. You shouldn’t be able to do that kind of thing.
What is up with trashy people and their shitty looking hair cuts?
“In that rip-off of Sweet Home Alabama, he rhymed things with things. Mentally-speaking, we do not believe he could have run for the U.S. Senate.” – FEC
so i wonder how many votes were wasted on him then?
Kid Rock looks more like Uncle Creeper.
Is it alright that we put Kid Rock in jail…just because? I’m sure everyone looking at it will go, “yeah, that seems right.” and then move on with their lives while he languishes away in prison forever. Thus, America would be saved.
This doesn’t look good for the campaign for Deez Nutz.
Yeah. Harambe hasn’t been dragged up there, either…
…then a spiraling onset of gut-roiling horror when we realized he’d probably win.Nah, not without Joe C. around to manage his campaign.
Wow, looking at this picture and trying to figure out who is the smartest person in that room and I really can’t tell for sure other than Mr Skunk because he looked like he showered.
In the lead photo, Kid Rock looks like Father Guido Sarducci
We are in the darkest timeline.
Is KR trying to hold his right arm in place with his left? Like he heard about 45’s stupid handshake machismo and got worried that it’d be pulled out of its socket if he didn’t brace it?
No harm, no foul; only MAGA Chuds got ripped off here. Here’s hoping it was too much to give for one of them, and their Cavalier got repossessed.
Does this mean that my vote for Kid Rock didn’t count?
How Old Kid Rock?
http://www.phoenixis.in
Kid Rock is only…47. His advanced aging process is the result of a curse placed on him for messing with “SWEET HOME ALABAMA”