Since we’re clearly not tired of all this, Johnny Depp’s new film will open Cannes
Johnny Depp plays Louis XV in the upcoming Jeanne Du Barry
Aux News Johnny Depp
Seeing as it’s been, oh, a couple of minutes since we waded into the muck of the Johnny Depp discourse, the Cannes Film Festival cordially invites you back. Depp’s latest film, Jeanne Du Barry, a comeback of sorts, will open the famed French film festival this year. Per Deadline, the film will open Cannes and in cinemas around France on May 16.
Directed by and starring Maïwenn, the film tracks the rise and fall of Louis XV’s court favorite, Jeanne Vaubernier (Maïwenn). Louis, of course, will be played by a man who is no stranger to garish, ridiculous outfits: Johnny Depp. There is no word as to whether he’ll be doing the old Pirates Of The Caribbean earpiece trick, having the sound tech pipe in the sounds of “bagpipes, a baby crying, and bombs going off,” which Depps says “creates a truth.”
This is Depp’s first role since the nightmare defamation trial he lobbed at his ex-wife Amber Heard last year over an editorial in which Heard said that she was an advocate for abused women. Depp believed that it was this editorial that got him fired from Fantastic Beasts 3 and not the fact that no one wanted to pay his fee for the bad press of another Crime Of Grindelwald. (To be fair, they had plenty on their hands with J.K. Rowling.) Over the next month, she recounted horror stories as people online demeaned and mocked her, accusing her of playing to the jury’s sympathies as she recalled Depp’s abuse. Also, people just loved the romance between Johnny Depp with his lawyer, which tells us everything we need to know about the public’s response to the trial.
However, since winning the trial and setting an absolutely terrible precedent for survivors of domestic abuse, Depp has mostly been seen wandering the streets, buried under a heap of scarves. He also made a guest appearance at the MTV VMAs, which strangely pleased no one and confused both live audiences and at-home viewers alike.
Correction: An earlier version of this article stated Depp’s role was “Louis VX.” He plays “Louis XV.” We regret the error.
57 Comments
I like bagpipes.
what spider wouldn’t? look at a bagpipe … it’s like a big sexy spider
So that’s why I get a little aroused every time I hear Scotland The Brave.
“Louis VX”? Who’s that?
When there’s a smaller value first, don’t you subtract that number?
So, Louis 5?
Clearly Louis Minus-5. Duh-doy.
According to Google it’s Louis 5,010
Louis the 5’10”, perhaps?
Ballistic: Louis vs. Ecks
Bravo.
Is that really him? In less than a decade, he went from “ageless” to “meth-addled hobo.”
He might make a detour through “wacky aunt”.
Wacky lesbian aunt.
I was thinking someone shot a cigar store Indian full of Botox.
someone shot a cigar store Indian full of Botox
Or estrogen.
And now you can smell just like him!
He looks like he should be performing at Lilith Fair.
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He’s been “meth-addled hobo” the entire time. We’re just getting to see him in high def without numerous filters and photoshop.
I hope they put lead in his makeup. You know. For accuracy.
He looks like Sara Gilbert, except less orange.
This article seems to have a weird opinion of facts. So a guy sues successfully in a court of law and proves his case, but that is somehow a bad precedent. LOL For whom? Liars?So the standard is no longer presumed innocent to proven guilty in a court of law, it has devolved to even if you win in a court of law, we will still just say you are guilty forever because my beliefs are more important than facts, forever. So 2023.
Hey thanks for making your monthly visit, sorry it must have took time away from jacking off to Trump.
People can multitask.
Fair dinkum.
Intelligent response.
Anyway Johnny Depp is an abusive piece of shit
Just a fact check here: it wasn’t a criminal case, it was a civil case. There is no “presumption of innocence” in a civil case. The bar to clear is also much lower, thus he could be guilty as sin and still win. Especially since he brought the case against her, not the other way around.
“so he could be guilty as sin”It’s a civil case. “Guilt” isn’t even a relevant concept. The jury finds based on the preponderance of the evidence (51%+) and they “find for” the plaintiff or the respondent.
I fail to see the two points as mutually exclusive. He could be guilty, as per a criminal filing if one were filed, but this is a civil case. My statement doesn’t invalidate this one way or the other.
Right – and a criminal case was never filed. For obvious reasons.
But even if we were talking about a criminal case…Do we all think OJ is innocent now?
All the legal experts at the beginning considered the case “IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN” because she only had to prove that it was more likely than not that he had hit her even once and he had to prove that it never happened with clear and convincing evidence and the jury found that he NEVER hit her even once so…it wasn’t that easy as you are stating it was
“So the standard is no longer presumed innocent to proven guilty in a court of law”That was never a standard as applied to public opinion. It’s referring to the presumption of innocence that applies during the proceeding and as applies to the factfinder in the trial (the jury, or judge if a bench trial). You’re not the first. People always misunderstand what that’s supposed to mean.
this is you: https://www.theonion.com/we-need-more-american-made-semiconductors-says-man-w-1850299048
He’s no Red Skelton.
eccentric used book store owner
At first I thought that was noted lesbian Sara Gilbert, then I realized she wasn’t caked in orange makeup.
Sara Gilbert
You can stop now. It wasn’t really funny the first time.
Thank God we live in a country where the movie-going public clearly believes if one person in a marriage is a shit (literally) then the other person is automatically a persecuted saint.
Lol at people still believing that story
Since we’re not clearly all tired of what? Jonny Depp existing?
NGL, even before the trial I was pretty tired of Johnny Depp existing.
Yeah, the trial didn’t really move the needle on my “giving a shit about Johnny Depp” meter either way.
Eh, my can opener also opens cans, and it doesn’t have Johnny Depp all over it.
You seem like you’re worrying about this too much…. it’s almost as if you are being performatively insincere in your outrage.
He’s always had a fascination with the French (see: his baby mama). I’ve wondered if it isn’t all an affectation. Anyway, wonder if the movie will actually be in French.
Great to see Johnny’s successful career of pissing off woketards continues! Its not that tough to do but still
Of course you’re not tired of thisYou’re a slowly dying entertainment site with barely literate writers. You’ll take what you can get.
It’s time for Ronnie Rodriguez to get all these parts.
This joke is much funnier when you pronounce Ronnie Rodriguez like Steve Brule does…
It doesn’t bode well for your TV reviewing critical faculties, if this is your take on that trial (which is still on youtube)