For most of us, this New Year’s Eve was quieter than usual. In Peshawar, Pakistan, however, the last day of 2020 ended with police apprehending a werewolf who decided to see out the year by riding around on a motorcycle and making werewolf noises at passersby.
The moon-crazed creature in question, obviously a big fan of ‘70s biker horror B-movie Werewolves On Wheels, was captured by local police after he was discovered cruising around Peshawar’s Moti neighborhood, “allegedly making roaring noises at people,” according to a story from The Independent.
In case you were worried this imagery would never exist outside of your mind, please enjoy a photo of the ferocious man-beast humbled in chains and blanket cloak tweeted by Omar R. Quraishi.
Another photo, shared by @9Newstv, shows the werewolf riding his metal steed before the law hunted him down, wrapping his paws in (presumably silver) handcuffs.
Why the werewolf was roused from his slumber is yet unknown. The Independent writes that the police have “filed an initial chargesheet against the individual, who has not yet been identified, and say they are investigating his motives for the act.” This is a futile exercise. When we ask what drives the werewolf to roar at people from his motorcycle, we may as well ask what leads the predator to eternally hunt its prey. The werewolf operates on instinct. It acts without thinking, motivated on some cell-deep level by the faint scent of blood on the air, the feel of a powerful engine at its command, the sensation of the evening breeze ruffling its fur as one year ends and another begins.
[via Boing Boing]
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34 Comments
I call bullshit. The last full moon was December 29 and he was apprehended 2 days later. He should have been back in human form by then. Also, those chains don’t appear to be silver so they couldn’t hold a real lycanthrope.
Look, I know you’re a doctor, but unless your specialty is unholy supernatural abominations then pipe down.
Because he’s really the great blues artist Howlin’ Wolf — and everybody knows the “Howling” wolves could change at will.
🎶 GO WALK THAT WANG, DANG, DOODLE, ALL NIGHT LONG! 🎶
What is that guy, like five foot nothin’?
Lil Wolfy. Check out his Soundcloud, aight?
Wolfie Mozart?
Teen Wolf.
Yes, but he also has the strength of FIVE gorillas!
I got that NOW, baby!
Relatable!
How was his hair?
From the pictures, his hair was not ready for Trader Vic’s.
Curse you. I came here to post the same old-man joke. You win this round, Madptarmigan.
Perfect.
Like a werewolf out of hell!!!
It’s not really a motorcycle if you have to push it up the steep parts.
This is the headline to beat in 2021.
Wolfman to Arresting Officer: Ah-wooooooooooooooo!
Not the *biggest* werewolf I’ve ever seen. What was he riding? A tricycle?Not exactly Eddie from The Howling, is he?
If only the cops had taken another photo a few minutes later, but wearing all three the same mask…
This seems like a Florida story.
Florida police definitely would shoot a werewolf on sight.
Pakistan has a Florida?
Well, Maine has a Norway, a Denmark and a Sweden…
What do you know, mumming isn’t dead!Oh, wait this is Pakistan.Well, I suppose if he was celebrating a Christian holiday it’s no wonder he was arrested.
Monster riddle time!
Q: What’s a wolfman’s favorite cycle brand?
A: A Howly-Rabidson!
— by Dr. Depravo, age 47
Jeez, ya can’t do anything anymore!
Sounds like a t-shirt.
I have to say, I’m impressed with the Pakistani police. It takes a lot of courage to wear a gun belt over a sweater. A man walks down the street like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything.
1865 called, they want their handcuffs back.
*rumages through Pop Culture Reference Box*Hmmm, let’s see. “Werewolves of London”, “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah”, “Werewolves, not Swearwolves”, “Where wolf, there wolf”, ooh, that’s a good one…eh I’ll just go with this….
A few more like him and they could’ve formed a wolf-Pak.