Not all celebrity-to-celebrity interviews are good. Sometimes they are! Still, the success rate is nowhere near 100 percent. But it was all worth it. If it takes 100 lackluster conversations between famous people to get this deluge of chaotic-good energy, then that’s just the price we have to pay. Here’s the prize at the bottom of the cereal box: Adam Sandler interviewing Aubrey Plaza, at Aubrey Plaza’s request. Seriously:
SANDLER: I’m happy to talk to you. Do you hear me? Because you keep going in and out. What’s with your fucking phone, Aubrey?
PLAZA: I can hear you. Is it me? I don’t know.
SANDLER: No, I hear you good now. I just wanted to make you upset.
PLAZA: Should we just forget this whole thing?
SANDLER: I’m happy you asked me to do this, buddy.
Interview said, “Hi, Aubrey, you’re terrifying and amazing, who would you like to interview you for our interview magazine?” and she said, “Adam Sandler.” And the result is the stuff of dreams.
SANDLER: Do you take naps during the day like me?
PLAZA: No, I can’t take naps. I don’t know how to do that. I’m a psycho.
SANDLER: When your parents told you to go take a nap, you just had your eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling?
PLAZA: Probably. I need to learn how to meditate or something.
SANDLER: I don’t have good naps. I have sad, sweaty naps, and I wake up upset.
Thank you, universe. Sincerely. Someone start a magazine in which famous people are asked about napping and nothing else and we will read every single edition. Another free idea: Same thing, only make it just about lakes. Famous people and lakes. Sandler’s issue would be all about muck booties, evidently:
SANDLER: When you were swimming in the lake and you guys were messing around with each other and splashing around and stuff, was it warm or cold?
PLAZA: It was warm. That was a scary night, because you’d think that I’m the kind of person who would be like, “Let’s jump in the lake and get crazy,” but I never want to go in.
SANDLER: You’re afraid of the fish and stuff?
PLAZA: I don’t want to feel the slimy fish and the muddy, slimy buggies.
SANDLER: Were you treading water or standing in the muck?
PLAZA: I was treading water. I’m not touching that shit.
SANDLER: Touching the bottom is where it always gets scary. Now they have booties that you can wear.
PLAZA: I don’t want to. Don’t make me wear the booties.
SANDLER: No, you would like it. The only humiliating part of the booties is before you get in, but once you’re in, no one knows the booties are on, and you’re so relaxed in the booties. I want you to start wearing booties more, Aubrey.
The interview is in support of Plaza’s movie Black Bear, which arrives this weekend; our own A.A. Dowd called her performance “the most volatile and nuanced work of her career” in his coverage of the 2020 Sundance Film Festival. Those especially opposed to consuming to any kind of plot information before seeing a film should probably keep this one open in a separate tab for a few days. But once that happens, it’s well worth reading in full.
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44 Comments
Since the Academy Awards are going to go ahead with a live in person show, they need Aubrey Plaza to host. If she doesn’t host we should sue.
Sydney Powell should be free by then to represent us!“Your honor, Che Guevara and Archduke Ferdinand have clearly conspired with Governor Schwarzenegger and Boeing to prevent Ms Plaza from hosting. We have third person affadavits!”
Yes please! Look what you’re missing out on, Academy!
Exactly. Get the people who produced that too.
I’ve had an extremely shitty day, and this seriously made it better. Can’t believe I missed this when it happened.
I’m sorry to hear about your bad day. Glad it got better with this video.
And Adam Sandler’s the first celeb in the audience that the camera cuts to. Synergy!
Her Young Hollywood award speech is legendary.
To be fair, if I were tasked to interview Aubrey Plaza, I’d probably ask the same questions because I can’t think of anything important I’d want to know about Aubrey Plaza.
I’d ask her to go on a date and then cry a little bit when she hung up on me.
Maybe just her thoughts on random things. Frozen pizza? Lawn darts? Muscle cars? Turpentine? The concept of envy? Bismuth? Franz Ferdinand (either)? Taxonomy?
Oooh, Bismuth! I wish I had thought of that.
TELL ME ABOUT, sheesh everyday.
The music’s good!
The band sucks.
“Frozen pizza? Lawn darts? Muscle cars? Turpentine? The concept of envy? Bismuth? Franz Ferdinand (either)? Taxonomy?”We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
The band or that dumb ass motherfucker who got killed by the worst assassination squad in history?
Either!
And she’s like SO interested in YOU! *rolls eyes, snaps gum*
You must’ve been saving that one up because it has absolutely nothing to do with my statement. I wasn’t pointing out why I wouldn’t date her or wouldn’t want to be her friend but simply that if I had to interview her, there’s nothing about her inflated sense of saying random, weird stuff and making goofy faces that makes her a particularly interesting person of study.
I love her suggesting that her grandmother might find Black Bear too upsetting to watch, so she should just watch her Criminal Minds episodes instead—a CBS old person approved show, but on which she was legitimately, unsettlingly scary
And also it’s about, like, serial killers making necklaces out of penises. Between that and SVU, apparently the rules are that you can graphically describe the most disturbing things you can thing of for retirees and shut-ins, as long as you’re wearing a suit and the main characters are dead enough inside that it doesn’t affect them beyond the current episode..
My favorite thing about her, and it always has been, is she doesn’t doesn’t give 2 fucks. It makes her funny and a little dangerous.
I saw a funny interview with her and Dan Levy on youtube the other day. Her bland snarkiness even seemed to take him slightly aback. She explained that it wasn’t a spoiler that she was glad that people were disappointed that Kristen Stewart didn’t end up with her in Happiest Season, and that she viewed acting as a competition and that meant she was winning.
I was kind of cringing at what a performance she seemed to be putting on in that interview, but I did like the competitiveness comment she made which seemed genuine.
I feel like she’s kinda always performing (either that or the roles she plays are just her acting like herself). I usually cringe too.
(I’m going with the latter parenthetical part.)
The quantity of fucks she distributes gratis is debatable; but it makes her neither funny nor dangerous.
You’re certainly no fun, Todd. Geez.
It’s Friday; I’m ready to call it a day at noon.
Any interview with Plaza that doesn’t have audio is pointless. Half of her charm is her blasé “why is this even happening” speaking voice.
Yeah, I opened the link expecting a video. This was disappointing.
That’s exactly what I don’t care for. She’s either doing weird-to-be-weird shit or she’s copping this eye-rolling whogivesashit ‘tude worthy of 1993. Wotever, she’s got her fans, I’m sure she’s doing fine…I, like, guess…
I’m a little worried for Aubrey Plaza. She performs with a level of commitment that’s a little scary to witness, and she keeps getting cast as these deranged, disturbing characters. I wonder what sort of residue that leaves behind.
Periodically I pop up with this comment: actors are really intense strange people who choose a career emoting in front of people. (I believe the phrase is “emotionally labile,” although that always sounds kind of dirty to me.) Some show it a little more than others.
Perhaps, but there are many different styles of acting. I suspect that someone like Julia Roberts who tends to skim over a role and let her smile do the acting is likely to have fewer nightmares and/or addictions than someone who really immerses themselves in a part.
It’s kinda like this:
probably not a popular take, but i do not like her….and i am sure she cares. no rational reason behind my take.
You’re fucking cancelled.I’m actually surprised more people don’t like her. I do but that’s just my taste. People seem to genuinely be afraid of her in a weird way and I find that charming.
I really disliked her character in Parks and Rec – and felt I was in a big minority there – but her film work since has been phenomenal, she’s really an excellent actress.
You’re not completely alone. Since Parks and Rec I’ve just never bought into the persona.
Terrible interview. They aren’t even taking it seriously!!! Why didn’t he ask her the important questions like if the cast of Parks and Rec are friends in real life? Or how she prepared for her role as a Black Bear and if she thinks a black person should have been cast instead?
SANDLER: I don’t have good naps. I have sad, sweaty naps, and I wake up upset. How many movies did you do before Funny People?This interview is perfect.
Aubrey Plaza is spending way too much time trying way too hard to be weird.
Man, between Black Bear and completely owning Happiest Season, she’s having quite a year. Glad somebody is.