This 4-hour Alex Jones deposition video is a near-lethal dose of awkward schadenfreude
Aux Features Aux
If there’s a “best” flavor of frequently de-platformed conspiracy vomiter Alex Jones—and we’ll admit, that’s a tricky initial premise to embrace—it’s got to be “Alex Jones under oath.” After all, the InfoWars host makes his living largely by bloviating off the cuff, subjecting viewers to a stream-of-what-we’ll-call-for-the-sake-of-argument-consciousness monologue about whatever his topic of choice for a given day may be. When under the scrutiny of the courts, though, Jones has to carefully consider his words, and the obvious stress of that process can be a terrible, beautiful thing to behold.
All of which is to say that we cannot, in good conscience, recommend you watch all four hours of the above pair of videos, a taped deposition of Jones that was recorded earlier this month in relation to one of the many lawsuits currently being lodged against him by the parents of kids killed during the Sandy Hook school shootings. For one thing, there’s a lot of legal bickering between the plaintiff’s lawyers and Jones’, and also, this much pure, un-cut schadenfreude would probably kill you.
Still, there are moments of transcendent unpleasantness on display here that will be extremely compelling to a certain class of self-loathing car-crash watchers, as Jones slurps soda out of a wine glass, brings up Jussie Smollett—unprompted—something like eight times, and just generally acts like the cornered, dumb animal that he is. At the very least, it’s worth skimming through just to find your next great reaction GIF the next time someone absolutely blows your mind by asking you, say, what time it is, or forces you to defend the shit you said to thousands of people in the distant, memory-obscuring past of 2015.
141 Comments
Four hours?!Will AG Barr summarize this too?
Barr will summarize it with a gif
Something from Gummo perhaps?
He’ll summarize it, call the summary a summary, and then say days later that the summary was never meant to be a summary.
You’re thinking of a memorandum of understanding. We all have the understanding that we will never use memorandum of understanding ever again, because that’s just a memorandum of what is the parties’ understanding.
Have you seen this yet?
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/attorney-general-william-barr-summarizes-famous-broadway-musicals?fbclid=IwAR07LTfjl1YU3SuGrA1MVHYD6QrCzgzd9m1IDVdv49kcb3kZ_5v8EJyCkGE
Chicago: “Complete and total exoneration for Roxie and Velma.”This is very good.
They did have it coming tho
Oh, I am so there!
I avoid using the word hate lightly. But I hate this man. Destroying people’s lives, over things he clearly does not even believe in himself, just for money. Fuck that fucker and I hope he ends up bankrupt and living out of a box.
Better that he live in a box. Preferably one that has bars, guards, and barbed wire.
Or buried six feet under. But I digress.
That would be good too. But I wouldn’t mind seeing him suffer a bit first.
Buried alive, you mean…?
You know, I have so much anger and hatred and distress built up as a result this Administration’s lies, misdeeds, cruelty, power grabbing, law-breaking and neo-feudalism built up that I could never get enough schadenfreude. I can have serious bouts of schadenfreude every day until the day I die and I won’t have exorcised everything the Trumpsters have done.I have so much, I am concerned for the state of my soul in the afterlife.The point is, once the Trumpsters descended upon this country like a biblical plague, my Schadenfreude Depository opened up an infinite amount of storage space.
And interior spikes and slowly shrinking walls.
The only box he deserves is a pine one.
Him and his fucking “followers” should follow suit because fuck them all.
Well……you did say that you hope he ends up living. Not everyone would even go that far.
I will say, CayceP, that Alex Jones is A Problem.Dead Alex Jones? One Less Problem.
“Destroying people’s lives, over things he clearly does not even believe in himself, just for money.”You could say this about 90% of the media and politicians.
Isn’t that the entire Republican party?
I hope his children grow up to hate him. I hope every ill-gotten penny he has goes to the people he’s tormented for years. And I hope he starts every day for the rest of his useless life by stepping barefoot on a lego piece.
If he was homeless he would be picked up by the police and taken for psych evaluations weekly for scaring people. He wander around babbling about random off the wall conspiracies then chasing and yelling at people he thinks are in on it.
Hyperbole? Are you a real person? Destroyed people’s lives? Who? I have never watched 5 seconds of Alex Jones TV show, nor have I listened to his radio show. I know who he is, I’ve seen quotes attributed to him, I’ve read articles like the one here. Maybe I’ve missed a story, I dont follow that closely by any measure. But how exactly has Alex Jones gone about “destroying peoples lives”? The worst thing, (in my opinion) I’ve heard Jones accused of, has something to do with Sandy Hook, and is the reason why he is being sued now. I believe he called the kids and parents actors, he calls it a false flag and makes other disparaging remarks, possibly libelous. Remarks, (again, in my opinion) that are so offensive and disgusting that I cant believe any adult would find this guy entertaining. I don’t know the exact quote and I don’t need to. It’s obvious who this guy is and what he sells. Entertainment. Because, that is his job: entertainer. Just like Stern, Imus and hundreds of other television and radio personalities. If a lot of people weren’t listening, no one would pay attention or care.The climate we live in today, the culture shift about a decade ago that changed everyone’s behavior. From my understanding, Alex Jones fits right in with today and the times we live in.But. I don’t know of anyone having their life destroyed by anything this glorified troll has done. If I’ve missed something worse than the comments he made about Sandy Hook, feel free to share it . Maybe I will change my stance that Alex Jones destroyed someone’s life by his actions. Jones has a right to say anything he wants, with exception to threats, libelous comments and other rules of law.tldr: fuck alex Jones with a sideways garden rake.
Him, Mitch McConnell, and Betsy Devos. I hate those three people.
He’s poisoned my father’s brain. I just can’t believe that functioning people listen to his BS. I worry that if my father gets senile like his parents did that this vile, nasty conspiracy fetishism doesn’t take root in a mind going downhill. I can only imagine paranoia and anger. I may be catastrphizing a bit but people like him are potentially still doing long-run damage.
Hard to say who’s worse.An oragina dotard busily wrecking democracy for millionsOr a blowhard torturing the parents of 20 murdered childrenGiant. Asteroid. 2020. It’s the only way to be sure.
That fat fuck ought to be penniless and in prison. Fuck him, fuck his bullshit conspiracy theories, fuck his moron followers, and fuck anyone who is willing to defend him (even his lawyers, who are probably only doing it for the payday).
Someone should download and edit this video by replacing that way-too pleasant looking background with jail bars..
Rachel Maddow is not fat.
You just said like, fuck half of America. I mean, I’m with you on it. Just that it’s an awful lot of people, and now I’m sad just thinking about it.
It’s depressing. I still find it hard to believe that so many people buy into his insanity.
Me too. :/
Donald Trump’s approval rating is ~37%, we can pretty much start with at least that.
Half? No man, No.
penniless and in prison
Less than penniless – hugely indebted to Sandy Hook families and all other victims of his hatefull shit.Not in prison, though. He should have to scrounge through dumpsters out back of a wharf for his meals, make clothes out of trash bags and crumpled newspapers, and live in a wet cardboard box beside a high traffic volume freight rail line.
Fair enough. That or solitary confinement would be fine with me.
Tis the height of human intellect contained herein this comment.
I stand by what I said.
How about giving us some points to click on with highlights?
CNN summarized it as he claims he was mentally ill at the time, but not the bad kind of mentally ill, the good kind that was caused by the media and corporations constantly lying, so he “broke down mentally” and mistrusted everyone and everything.
… so he “broke down mentally” and mistrusted everyone and everything.
And…the dog ate my homeworksomebody spiked my KoolaidI was confused by all the pigeons circling the tree down the streetI was told there wouldn’t be any maththe cat peed on the newspaperthe tea leaves foretold nothing of this, leaving me completely unpreparedI thought today was Thursdaythe wind got in my hairI was all set and then someone informed me that Swiss cheese has holes in it, completely disrupting my self-esteem and my sense of place in the Universe.
🤢🤮
The word “vile” has never been more apropos.
I hope every day for the rest of his life is markedly worse for him than the one before.
So… Peter from “Office Space” prior to hypnosis? Sounds perfect.
Truly the kind of dude where, if you wrote a movie that very clearly used an Alex Jones stand-in as the bad guy whom the hero tracks down and kills, the audience would be completely fine with it.
you would think, but instead, The X-Files casted Joel McHale for the role
Time has NOT been good to The X-Files as a property.
The sad part is, a lot of it’s not even the fault of the show, simply the fact that our culture has become far more open/receptive to embracing conspiracy nonsense than we were back then.
I’d argue Dale Gribble from King of the Hill has also been aged terribly as a result of this – arguably even moreso when you consider his distrust of the government was paired with an affinity for firearms.
Wait. You trust the government?
You get what I mean here. There’s a pretty broad distinction between simply recognizing most of them are self-serving grifting dickwads and sincerely believing they pull off absurd secret assassinations, secret cabals with extraterrestrials and are plotting to take your guns away.
They absolutely are plotting to take guns away and would openly admit that.
‘would openly admit that’[Citation needed]
And made him a good guy. And correct.
That’s pretty much what Travelers did. And it was awesome.
People would say he was a caricature and too unrealistic. No one in real life is this bad right? 🙁
People would say he was a caricature and too unrealistic.
Ten years ago? For sure. Now? That’s just another day ending in “y.”
He’s like Howard Stern’s more unlikable brother – and I don’t like Howard Stern – what a waste of a brain
I’m surprised this didn’t make it into the post….he was spotted at an Austin restaurant recently, yelling at random customers. The place was full of laughter. Everyone was laughing their heads off at him; he didn’t have a single friend in there. Jones dealt with this humiliating situation by repeatedly asserting his manliness and attempting to yell them into submission; he accused someone of “having an extra chromosome.”
https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/media/Alex-Jones-seen-berating-patrons-at-Austin-1472644.php?jwsource=cl
That’s very entertaining and you didn’t have to sit through 4 hours of material.
When you said Austin, I just made the connection that he must be that one character in Richard Linklater’s ‘Waking Life’ — the red faced ranting guy with a speaker strapped to his car. Wow.
Yeah. that’s him alright.
It’s so weird, because I was a teenager when Waking Life came out and absolutely venerated counterculture figures like Abbie Hoffman and Angela Davis. Despite getting that he was being a bit ridiculous in that moment with the loudspeaker on the top of a car, ranting while driving down empty streets, he still seemed pretty cool. He seemed unhinged but harmless and well-intentioned until Sandy Hook denial and Trump support, although I do have a friend who treated him as far too credible in the late aughts, concurrent with an uncritical fandom of that Zeitgeist movie.
Liking that Zeitgeist thing is a red flag. It’s up there with sharing posts from ‘the Mind Unleashed’. I avoid those people when possible.
No doubt. I just think there’s something worthwhile in the personality type that is inclined to question everything. Alex Jones forfeited any goodwill I might once have allowed him with his Sandy Hook denial, but it’s similar to how I feel about deeply religious people. There’s a beauty in what and how they believe, but the fact that they’re able to invest themselves wholeheartedly in something they cannot possibly know is unfathomable to me and dangerous to us all.
Ugh , I lost a few friends to that zeitgeist movie. These were smart people whose intelligence I respected pre 911 . I couldn’t believe how lazy that movie was , how half-baked the “evidence” was and the wild leaps into unfounded conclusions.
He was once a relatively respectable weirdo. Then the last 20 years happened.
That is him and he’s also in “A Scanner Darkly” yelling through a megaphone. I’d like to know why Linklater was so fascinated by him.
I can see like 5 other people in that video recording the same thing in landscape mode, but of course it’s the only person recording in portrait that uploads it.
That’s because portrait is the correct orientation for most modern media. Do you often read the internet on your phone in landscape mode?
Wrong. Portrait mode is never correct for video unless you’re a remote guest on Pardon the Interruption. Video players are landscape, even on a phone because it’s how our eyes tend to see the world around us. You don’t read a video.
Turning your phone sideways to watch a video clip on your phone is a sign of brain disease.
Nope, it’s how video is viewed and why phones are shaped like small HD TVs. Phone-shot video isn’t just meant to be viewed on a phone, it lives every where and I can’t flip my 40″ TV just because of some lazy kid’s AV fail.
even alex jones knows to hold his camera in landscape!
Maybe its a theme restaurant, eat here and an angry possibly psychotic conservative will shout cliched insults at you.
“Come to Alex Jones Texas BBQ feed bag, where your family can enjoy the best Texas BBQ and be berated by our mascot Alex Jones. Try our “Crisis Actoroni and Cheese” casserole or a nice piece of libtard pie for dessert. It so good, you’ll think it was a lizard man conspiracy!”
“Starters:False Flag FriesStaged Steak SlidersGay Frog Legs (won’t turn you gay!)Bilderberg Bacon-Wrapped ShrimpConspiracy Corn Dog Bites”
Pizza-gate bagel bites
Putin poutine.
“How do I know the gay frog legs won’t turn me gay? The menu literally says they’re gay frog legs!”
All entrees served wrapped in aluminum foil, of course
“Crisis Actoroni and Cheese” is worth a star all by itself. Well done.
Liberal kitsch!
Red-faced polo shirt wearers are the new dominatrixes.
This isn’t what should happen when Alex Jones goes anywhere. We need to start treating assholes like him as social pariahs. Giving people like him a voice is why this country has a growing “flat earth” movement.
Well, to be fair, the group he was yelling at probably initiated the encounter by yelling some shit at him (rightfully, of course). So they did treat him like the pariah he is.It would’ve been nice, though, to see the entire restaurant shouting the motherfucker down. That would’ve truly sent a message that society hates you.
It would please me to know that he has no comfort out in public. People should harass him at all turns. The lies he told will continue to pop up and harass the parents of those beautiful children who were blown apart by the psychopath’s gun.
Wow. What a fucking little shithead.A few things:1.) He would get his ass kicked. He does that tough-guy bullshit for his acolytes. He also probably does it in order to goad someone into a fight so he can justify pulling out his gun.2.) The restaurant should’ve kicked his ass out a lot sooner, and more forcefully. Like, threaten-to-call-the-police forceful.
What I love most about this video is that Alex Jones clearly is one of those guys that, at one point, was probably on good shape and molded his opinion about how terrible fat people are. So it’s his go to insult on this recording over and over, all the while he looks like a barrel supported by two popsicle stick. I don’t want to fat shame anyone but this is a bit of “the pot calling the kettle black”.
He probably still skipped leg day.
This video suffers from a distinct lack of Alex Jones being riddled with bullets.
That was mostly just annoying. I agree that he should basically be barred from most/all restaurants. The guy is awful and deserves to be punished. Calling Sandy Hook deaths crisis actors is abhorrent on another level.
Maybe he was just upset someone had the chromosome he has apparently lost.
The only thing that could’ve made this video better is if one of the Austinites had threatened to sic Charlie Sotelo on him again. Jones fucking HATES that story.https://www.statesman.com/article/20131109/NEWS/311099702
I can’t believe there’s some conspiracy theorists that believe he’s a CIA plant too make legit conspiracy theorists look bad.
I still find it funny/horrifying to realize there was a time he and QAnon were fighting each other for the same pool of suckers.
… that believe he’s a CIA plant too make legit conspiracy theorists look bad. That’s just a conspiracy theorist putting forth their conspiracy theory of a false flag operation by conspiracy theorists looking to gaslight other conspiracy theorists into believing there’s no CIA false flag operation to convince conspiracy theorists that conspiracy theorists look bad, then? That’s clearly a false flag operation. Google “The tea leaves of Prague in June”. If it’s a Tuesday, click on the thirteenth link. Translate that page into phonetic Norwegian and write down the letter count for each word. Reverse the order of the numbers and enter them as ASCII code. Remove letters corresponding to the Fibonacci sequence, use an infrared filter, and you’ll see what I’m talking about. (I’m not at liberty to disclose which department or agency has authorised this, of course.)P.S. Bob. The weather in Paris is “sunny” and the “popcorn” is “too buttery.”
He looks like that one guy at the bar who won’t shut up.
This is like getting a middle schooler to confess to fucking up.
I think Jones started out doing a character and the act took over.
I think the gorilla hormone supplements he peddles has rotted what little brain he had.
Check out the This American Life episode from 2 weeks ago – there’s a long story investigating some of Jones’ claims about his high school days. According to his former classmates he’s pretty much always been this way.(Of course, the most depressing part of that story is that even the people who’ve known Jones as the crazy liar from their childhood still believe some of his conspiracy bs.)
According to his former classmates he’s pretty much always been this way.I’ve known a guy for about 20 years – I won’t call him “a friend” at all but we have many friends in common that I can’t necessarily escape him – who is basically the alternate, lefist version of Jones.I mean, he looks like him, sounds like him, acts like him and just makes up the most extraordinary bullshit you could ever imagine.Like, if Trump is the poster boy for Dunning-Kruger; this guy is the basis of the whole goddamn study.
Your statement is applicable to soo many people, including the Orange One.
For the last 20 years or so I’ve always had fun listening to pundits/talkers, even local ones, to try and figure out how much it’s an act. For example, when Glenn Beck rose so quickly some 10 years ago, there were ample signs that his schtick was an act. With Alex Jones I completely agree with your assessment. It’s so off the wall that I often doubt its sincerity (I mean, the man was literally filmed in public a few months ago interviewing a pile of shit), but I think when the money and adoration of millions came he just fully embraced it and in the process went off the deep end to the point where he lost and family and now will probably lose his money too (see Bubba the Love Sponge as an example of how quickly and far these people can fall, i.e., he went from a mansion to a trailer).
It’s hard to admit now but he used to come across as a very funny and harmless eccentric. It was hard to tell if it was an “act” or he really believed everything he said. Art Bell’s radio show tread the same waters. There was no way Bell could possibly have a worldview that could accommodate all the wild theories spouted by his guests but he usually presented them at face value. Jones just kept chasing clicks and upping the ante until it went somewhere hateful and crass.
I used to listen to Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly on radio because they were brutally caustic and really great at what they did. O’Reilly’s shtick became too ponderous when he went to television and somewhere along the way Limbaugh became some kind of elder statesman and his show just became way too tight and formalized. I think Limbaugh’s basically deaf now. When someone calls his show there’s a strange disconnect that sounds like he is reading a transcription of the call in slightly less than real time. Pretty much kill the weird, angry energy.
He built his clown, and the clown ate him. Surely there is a lesson there.
Does this guy enter into “just stop talking about him, that’s what gives him juice” territory? I have never once had a conversation in real life where his name even came up, yet over time I have seen at least a dozen articles here about him. I’m not judging – I genuinely don’t know. What level of influence did he ever have? I gather that he’s a fucking maniac. But even in this awful era, how many people were/are actually latching on to him?
He is one of the more popular of the deranged lunatic crowd, and he has been around for a very long time.
Someone named Donald Trump latched onto him for a period of time.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Jones#Relationship_with_Donald_Trump
I’m afraid I can’t bring myself to click on that. I might throw my computer thru the window.
Enough to harass the parents of the children killed at Sandy Hook, and enough for one guy to shoot up a pizza parlor. His impact isn’t measured in numbers as much as the actions his fans take against other people based on his deranged conspiracy theories.
Good point. Thank you.
“What level of influence did he ever have?…how many people were/are actually latching on to him?”- That’s pretty close to what I said in 2015 re: the man who’s currently the leader of the free world.
Oh believe me, I get it. But back then, everyone knew who Dolt 45 was. He’d been famous for decades. So my questions stands. Again, I’ve literally never talked to anyone IRL about this man’s existence. I’m genuinely curious.
He had enough influence to convince a bunch of morons to harass and physically threaten Sandy Hook parents. I expect he’ll end up in the toilet of history, but for now, he’s a problem.
He may not have a huge audience but the audience he does have is full of unstable people who are one tiny push away from doing something terrible (see: the dude who showed up at Comet Ping Pong with a gun ready to kill everyone in the name of the fictional children in the fictional basement, all the people who harass the Sandy Hook parents to the point they cannot even visit their own children’s graves, the woman who threatened to kill one of the parents of a Sandy Hook victim for supposedly lying about their child existing (she’s in jail now.) His audience is full of people who are in desperate need of help, and he knows it, and he keeps pushing all their buttons because it makes him money.
I’m finding this so compelling, I can’t stop watching. I’m 30 mins in and it’s fascinating.
The fucking objections are making me crazy!
Are you dead now?
He looks so dumb trying to outsmart the deposition lawyer. He can’t remember details, and then suddenly he does. The clips of him are “too edited” and he doesn’t know his own context. Whatever, man. Keep shuffling those papers as if an answer that will not make you look bad will fall out. And next time put on a stronger deodorant; those pits are getting awfully wet.
Lol, wow.So in the beginning, he basically says that the way he spoke about Sandy Hook is the way he speaks about everything, so whatever? That motherfucker needs to be punched so hard in the mouth.
Right off the bat, the puzzled look as the attorney states the date as if he suspects some conspiracy about the date. Perfect Jones.
and its for reasons like this that Mueller not getting trump to testify in person was a colossal mistake. Let these ppl hang themselves with their own words and not lawyerspeak.
His voice. Why?
There’s no schadenfreude here. Not yet. Maybe this would have given me the slightest bit of happiness a few years ago, when I still had a shred of faith in our justice system. But not now. Because as open-and-shut as the case appears against him to anyone with a soul or a shred of human decency, this is 2019 America, so I fully expect him to win the suit and not owe a dime or face any consequences whatsoever. Hell, I don’t even think I’ll be surprised if the court orders the parents of those poor kids to pay him something.No, my schadenfreude has a much higher standard at this point. I won’t feel anything positive about this man’s fate until I see him under a highway overpass, huddled around a 55-gallon drum of smoldering newspapers, coughing blood from the disease that’s killing him slowly and painfully and so utterly alone that not even the rest of society’s detritus will keep him company. When I can be secure in the knowledge that even if our own justice system failed us that karma didn’t… then I’ll feel schadenfreude.Until then? Get this piece of shit out of my face.
This is exhibit A of why Mueller needed to speak to Trump.
Didn’t this piece of shit say that the Sandy Hook dad who killed himself this week was a false flag? Jones should be in prison with no access to social media.
If I saw this guy fell down a long flight of stairs, hearing multiple bones crack, and coming to rest as a pile of blubbery pulp, I would call 911.Eventually.
It cannot be over-stressed what a profound shock it is to the right to discover that lying has legal consequences. Long ago they embraced the big lie as a legitimate weapon of their culture war. As Dick Cheney said, in war the gloves come off. Imagining themselves ‘at war’ with us gave them permission, they reasoned, to do or say ANYTHING.
I’ll take your word for how bad it is, it would be nice if someone had the stomach to make a “highlights” clip.
Does he say ‘tar baby’ at 33:38 of second video???
Deposition was clearly asking entrapping questions and were obviously deceiptful in their blaming of him for being banned online. Pretty shitty.
I watched all for hours. It was the most riveting broadcast I have ever seen. He is so transparent, so shameless… he is the final evolution of an American. Before you protest, before you @ me, remember your president has a 41% approval rating.
The only news I want to see about this fucker is how badly he loses and when real criminal charges are brought against him.
Piece of shit!That is all.
That seems highly unfair to dumb animals.
AH, the time honored “temporary insanity” defense.