This Halloween’s hottest decoration was “Home Accents Holiday 12 ft. Giant-Sized Skeleton With LifeEyes-5124738,” a big bony harbinger of autumnal fun that delighted the world by virtue of being both very tall and a cool skeleton. For anyone worried that our ol’ pal HAF12FTG-SSWLE-5124738 would simply sink back into the ground, lying in wait until next Halloween, worry no longer. Giant skeletons from all over have decided to stick around a bit longer in order to celebrate the holidays and serve as a continuous reminder of the constant proximity of an untimely death.
Maura Judkis let us know that the skeletons had smoothly transitioned into the post-Halloween holidays, hanging out with turkeys before getting into their Santa hats and colored lights.
As Judkis’ tweet shows, the giant skeletons have now become ominous, gangly Grinches and abominable snowmen, fucked-up nutcrackers, and, naturally enough, big Jack Skellingtons. They’ve also been put to work, bones creaking in the winter air as they stretch their undead fingers out to hang lights or help decorate Christmas trees.
Even without a task to fulfill, the skeletons are proving themselves more than capable of performing other important holiday decoration functions, like glaring demonically at passersby, forming ad hoc skeleton nativity scenes, or tossing on saucy Santa skirts while taking a lawn reindeer for a walk.
Clearly, the giant skeletons are here to stay. Now that they we know they’re just as good at Christmas as Halloween, we eagerly anticipate seeing skeleton cupids shooting their arrows from on high, skeleton Easter bunnies hiding chocolate eggs in eves troughs, and, most exciting of all, the world’s tallest (and most bony) leprechauns majestically presiding over St. Patrick’s Day celebrations.
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These are hilarious and seem macabre, but they also have a wholesome Dia de los Muertos vibe. Year round let’s share our homes with the giant bones of our ancestors.
“Our culture believes that when our ancestors die, they aren’t gone – but rather they watch over us from the afterlife, as long as we keep their memory alive. Oh also they double in height for some reason”
THIS IS THE CHRISTMAS SEQUEL THEME TO SPIRIT HALLOWEEN!
I consider myself someone who frequents Home Depot on a semi-regular basis, and I’ve never seen these. If I had, I would’ve bought one. Or 5.
I saw them a few times, until a full two weeks before Halloween, when the display model disappeared. “Didn’t there used to be a giant-ass skeleton, like, right here?” I asked one of the employees, but he just shrugged. Either he was like one of those idiots in Ghostbusters 2 who basically forgot the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man existed, or I’d imagined the whole thing. It was pretty spooky!
This feels like an excuse to procrastinate on putting these giant skeletons away. It will be interesting to see how many of these will stay out till February along with the Christmas lights.
My neighbors had a blow-up grim reaper riding a sparkly unicorn out for Halloween that made me do a double-take and laugh. I kind of wish they’d pull it out again with a Santa hat and maybe stick a red nose on or something.
Apparently, I’m the only one who immediately thought of Geoff Peterson. (I miss the Craig Ferguson version of Late, Late Show SO MUCH.)
Seconded. Easily. This would have been his year for sure, and I would have watched Ferguson 10 times as much as Meyers and Colbert combined.