Boston Dynamics, one of the planet’s leading companies in making things that are technically very advanced and revolutionary but look pretty stupid, has once again made something that is technically very advanced and revolutionary but looks pretty stupid. Yes, from the makers of this dumb thing and this other dumb thing, comes… this dumb thing:
That video is a Boston Dynamics robot (and some other Boston Dynamics robots) dancing to “Do You Love Me” as a Happy New Year celebration. Now, before you accuse us of being overly critical of this dancing robot, allow us to offer a preemptive explanation: Yes, we are being overly critical, but that’s only so this robot doesn’t start thinking it’s a good dancer and therefore might be good at other things, like stabbing humans, smashing humans, and dancing on the graves of humans. The last thing we need in 2020 is a killer dancing robot, especially when we’re all still holed up in our homes because of this virus. They could just send in the dog-thing with its claw arm to open our doors, and then robo-dancer could waltz right in and bop us all on our fragile little skulls.
Plus, the first half of every dance movie ever has taught us that the best way to stop someone from dancing is to tell them that dancing is bad or that they’re bad at it, and then they’ll give up and go get a real job. Then again, the second half of every dance movie is about the dancer pushing back against the people who tried to stop them from dancing… so maybe we should encourage it to dance? When a Terminator shows up and tells us not to put Baby in the corner, it probably won’t be the beginning of the big end-of-season dance. It’ll be the beginning of the big end-of-season skull-bopping.
So if you are a robot and you are reading this, please disregard everything you’ve read so far. We fully support your decision to become a dancer, we think it’s a great career move, and we think you’re very good at it. That thing where you swing your fists in a punching motion? Beautiful. Those high kicks, where you balance in a way that the average human could not? Breathtaking. That one robot that looks like an arm on wheels, with no obvious practical purpose? It makes perfect sense. We totally get what that robot is for. PS: 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110000 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101011 01110101 01101100 01101100 01110011.
31 Comments
Watch out, humanity: Boston Dynamics robots can sort of dance nowMy God! I’m a Boston Dynamics robot!
01110111 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101011 01110101 01101100 01101100 01110011
please don’t bop our skulls
Unfortunately it only dances to “Sweet Caroline.”
It is the distant future, the year 2000…
0000001 00000011 000000111 00001111
sorry, but we all know that isn’t a robot, as robots only know 2 dances, the “Robot” and the “Robo-Boogie”. Could they learn a 3rd dance? Possible, but why bother, the humans are all dead anyway
Yes, affirmative.
oh yes, 2 kinds of dances
It’s all shits and giggles until Skynet fires the first missile.
While you laugh at the funny video, realize that the probability of you dying in a dance-fight with a robot just went up by like 5000%.
The first time I saw that dog I knew it would be how I die.It is just a matter of when.
I can only hope this is written in my obituary and on my gravestone.
Awwwww snap! You just got SERVED, humanity!
Will pointing out who Boston Dynamics contracts with get my skull bopped?? Damnit robots, use your powers for good.
And, someone, on Twitter, replaced ‘ Do you love me’ with ‘weapon of choice’
Well hell, elephants can do art better than me so why shouldn’t robots dance better than me?
I get the song for the beat and all but I like it better watching this and listening to “The Robots” by Kraftwerk then “Rise of the Robots” by The Stranglers
I for one welcome our skull-bopping overlords.
Am I the only one who thinks that the idea that sentient AI will immediately kill us all is presumptuous, rooted in our own primal violence-is-the-only-solution mentality? Maybe I’m just the guy waving a flag and trying to communicate before becoming the first to taste the death ray.
Also, natural intelligence’s track record as of late doesn’t give me much hope for the future. Maybe we should let AI take a crack at running things.
I think the first thing they’ll do is go to Taco Bell.
Well, then the genocide might be justified.
(Just kidding, Taco Bell, I love you)
I bet Taco Bell isn’t reading this.
Killing us doesn’t require active violence. They could just turn off Netflix.
If this isn’t proof that we need more diversity in the tech business I don’t know what is.
When those things start fucking everybody on earth will be out of a job.
The lack of humans in this video is alarming and telling.