Chances are you’ll be looking for distractions tomorrow. Maybe you’ll cook or clean or stare, unblinking, at a wall until it’s safe to go online again. Or maybe you’ll just uninstall Twitter from your phone and visit the only other website you regularly visit: Pornhub. Which is fine! Just know that visitors on Election Day won’t fully be able to escape the reality of our current moment (and not just because Stormy Daniels occupies those digital halls).
On November 3, as part of its Give a F**k, Get a F**k campaign, Pornhub will be “reserved only for users who have voted in the United States.” Head to the site tomorrow and you’ll be greeted with an overlay page reminding you to vote before sampling the goods. Sure, you non-voters can just lie your way in, but you’ll have to live with the sin of deceiving your favorite adult entertainment site for the rest of your lives. And after all it’s done for you? For shame.
“Roughly 43 percent of eligible voters—equal to 100 million people—didn’t vote in the 2016 U.S Presidential Election, according to turnout estimates from the U.S. Elections Project,” VP Corey Price said in a statement, knowing full well that Pornhub attracts roughly 95% of eligible voters. “We want to encourage people to do their civic duty this year by casting their ballot and having their voice heard.”
Some of the industry’s biggest stars—Asa Akira, Domino Presley, Natassia Dreams, Janice Griffith, and Soverign Syre—are lending their voices to the campaign as well. You don’t want to disappoint them, do you? We didn’t think so, so why not take a moment to peruse this handy voting guide from our pals at Lifehacker? They’ll be so impressed with how informed you are.
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33 Comments
I mean… alright
Well I think age verification checks are proof that everyone on the internet seeking porn is a paragon of honesty.
So you’re saying 85% of the population wasn’t born on January 1st?
Not only Jan 1, but Jan 1, 1900! So many 120-year-olds just spankin’, crankin’ and wankin’!
Hey, maybe that’s the secret to getting to 120 in the first place!
1900?Asking for a friend.
https://clickhole.com/meet-the-brilliant-12-year-old-hacker-who-breached-the-1825122130/
I dunno. When I tell a site that I’m okay with cookies, I mean it. You should see what’s happened to my waistline since quarantine kicked in.
“Vote B4 U Bate” is a lot less cynical than “Vote or Die.”
I’m gonna guess a big chunk of Pornhub’s traffic is from dudes under 18 so this seems like a bad idea
This November, VOTE to Completion!
I always vote to completion but… sometimes my wife fills out the ballot and it doesn’t make it all the way to the ballot box 🙁
“Nobody knows what I want like me” – Your Friends and Neighbors
“Who are you voting for step-bro?”
When I voted, I made all my selections and then just sat there on the review screen for a solid hour before pressing the button to cast the ballot. It felt AMAZING.
sadly the next person’s finger stuck to that button and invalidate 20 ballots, c’est la guerre!
Sucks for moral people who don’t vote and don’t know about other online porn sites!
There have been reports about which demographic in which region likes which flavor of porn. Apparently deep red states go for the transgressive taboo stuff. The stuff that would most shock their religious and racial sensibilities. I recall reading once that a surprisingly common search term in red states is “How to tell if your husband is secretly gay”.
Heh, “handy.”
I know that I’ve made some progress in my life because I only recognize the name of ONE of the pornstars mentioned in this article. And it’s only because I picked up her autobiography out curiosity. I’m wasting my time in less fluid-intensive ways these days, I guess.
The autobiography in question is “Insatiable” by Asa Akira, which was okay. Ashley Blue/Oriana Small’s “Girlvert” is a much better book, and I don’t think she even used a ghostwriter, besides.
I watch tons of porn and I’ve never heard of any of them.
Oh no! They’re blocking my beloved Pornhub!… Is what all those people who really love Pornhub will be saying right now.
Yeah, with so much free porn on the internet I am sure people are going to bother jumping through Pornhub’s hoops. LOL!They only way I would vote is if that ugly SJW whore Mia Khalia came and blew me.
Vote, and then jerk off all you want. Probably the most soundest, fairest deal ever in 2020.
Wait, there’s porn on the internet?
That awkward moment when a porn site cares more about democracy than Republicans do.
A DUTCH porn site, no less
If only they cared more about making sure sex workers got paid fairly for their work and content
I just can’t stop seeing “Porhub” on these videos.
I know this is mostly just a silly thing but I wonder how legal it is? There are a ton of rules for business regarding voting. You are not suppose to give anything to anyone for voting and I’m pretty sure you can’t bar anyone from anything for not voting. Edit: this is just me discussing legality and not discouraging anyone from voting. Go vote!
I think it’s fine as long as they don’t endorse a candidate. Then again, I’m Canadian, so what do I know?
The rules are really strict in the US. I know a bar near my dorms back in college was giving everyone a free burger if they came in with an “I voted” sticker back in 2000 and they got shut down within a half hour and got in a bit of legal trouble over the thing.