Former spy Valerie Plame is either running for Congress or starring in a Bourne movie
Aux Features AuxShe was betrayed by her government.
Then she was betrayed by her government a second time.
Now, she’s driving a Camaro in reverse as a metaphor for how the federal government is progressing backwards.
She is… Valerie Plame, and this is Robert Ludlum’s The Bourne Plamedentity.
Err, wait, Is this not a trailer for a movie about real-life former spy Valerie Plame as she drives her Camaro to Washington D.C. so she can beat up Scooter Libby and Donald Trump, with Dick Cheney showing up in the post-credits scene as the real Big Bad for the sequel? Going back over the video, it actually seems to be an ad for Plame’s new Congressional campaign, during which she uses her dramatic backstory—she was a spy who got burned by her own government!—to establish why she wants to go to Washington and settle some scores. Also: She has sunglasses. Also: She’s driving a Camaro and does a cool spin move with it. It’s all very cool.
Actually, it’s all pretty cheesy, but at least it’s cheesy in an endearing way that immediately makes the Plame campaign a lot more memorable than the average political candidate’s commercials. (Oh, you have a family and pretend to work on a farm? Call me when you’re driving a Camaro in reverse through the desert, you punk.) Plame is running in New Mexico, so vote for her if you live there—but only if you want to. For all we know, there are better candidates running against her, it’s just that none of them were the subject of a Decemberists song. Unless… does the guy from “Mariner’s Revenge Song” live in New Mexico? Please let us know in the comments.
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Today, still wanted by the government, she survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem… if no one else can help… and if you can find them… maybe you can hire… The Plame-Team.
“This summer … it all ends in Plames.”
Are there smakes on this Plame?
“Plames, Plames on the side of my face.”
“I love it when a flexible health savings account plan comes together.”
Everyone in Washington is playing the Plame game.
Instead of this, she should do what most bored upper-class Santa Fe white people do and open an art gallery.
I know it’s not a Chevy commercial per se (although, damn, that badge is prominent enough), but I look forward to Mahk from Zebra Corner giving this his special treatment.
I don’t shake hands.
Dig the tea bowtie.
Teal.
Oh hai, Mahk!
Disregard–will need to do more research.
That’s BS. If she’s antisemite, the AOC and Tlaib are too. Newsflash: criticism of the Israel government doesn’t make you a skinhead.
Exactly. Fuck the Israel government.
As an Israeli – I agree.
That’s BS. If she’s antisemite, the AOC and Tlaib are too. Newsflash: criticism of the Israel government doesn’t make you a skinhead.
If retweeting one article that she likely didn’t even read brands her as an anti-Semite, I can’t wait to find out what kind of monsters Fernandez and Montoya turn out to be.
“Jews will not replace us…in Congress!”
— Valerie Plame, allegedly.
Ok, see ya never.
Now I want to see her race Biden’s TransAm.
Only if they’re racing for pink slips.
Somebody dub the Knight Rider theme over that.
Or she might be making blintzes.
yeah, this is cheesy, but admit it, a retired-spy revenge movie called “You’ve Heard my Name”? You’d watch that.
Wasn’t she betrayed by Robert Novak? Wasn’t he the leaker?
The big question was who gave the info to Novak in the first place. Although I don’t think it was proven, everyone thinks it was Cheney. That little goblin died of a brain tumor about ten years back.
Robert Novak was the “journalist” who published it, but he got the ifnromation from Dick Cheney’s office. They were looking to punish her, at the time an undercover CIA officer, because her husband, a former US diplomat had publicly poked holes in the Bush administration’s rationale for war with Iraq.
“His name was Scooter Libby.”I refuse to believe that’s anyone’s real name.
There’s a muppet named Scooter.
Scoot McNairy?
I don’t think Scooter leaked, he just obstructed justice covering it up.As often happens, the coverup isn’t just worse than the crime, IT IS the crime.
Yeah, but he’s dead…or is he??
Reminds me of that absolutely insane over the top lawyer commercial that aired a few years back.
What about the lawyer who bragged “I’m the lawyer who Pittsburgh criminals call when they commit crimes!”
My favorite political ad video of all time. Nothing even comes close.
A campaign ad as sharp as its candidate.
Remember when he was the frontrunner? Christ.
I’d be her Plame Boy.
If memory serves, there was already a musical about her. http://www.cc.com/video-clips/omajki/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-the-plame-game
This new female Bond everyone has been hyping isn’t quite what I was expecting.
These seems like a parody of a congressional campaign.
Sold.
“For all we know, there are better candidates running against her, it’s just that none of them were the subject of a Decemberists song.”Eli the Barrow Boy for Congress!
And here I voted for an architect…
FUN FACT: Scooter also wrote really demented porn:“The main female character, Yukiko, draws hair on the ‘mound’ of
a little girl,” Collins reports. “The brothers of a dead samurai have
sex with his daughter.”
Meanwhile, “certain passages can
better be described as reminiscent of Penthouse Forum,” Collins writes.
“Other sex scenes are less conventional.”
Collins
quotes from the indicted aide’s novel: “At age 10 the madam put the
child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the
girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed
her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to
lose interest.” –TheImmoralMinority
You keep talking about the Bourne movies, when there is a movie – by the director of the Bourne Identity – about her, already???
Gosh, a woman being a strong badass. What’s not to make fun of?
Are you forgetting that the Bourne producers did, in fact, make a movie about her: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_Game_(2010_film)
I’ve spent some time in New Mexico and even with the sound off I could tell that’s where they were filming. New Mexico has a unique look to it.I don’t live there now. I wonder if she’s going to have any policy ads? Or just New Mexico dirt-in-my-teeth type ads?
Further evidence of the right wing character of the Democratic Party. It is the de facto party of the military-intelligence agencies.
I’m scaroused.
Kiss, Kiss, Plame, Plame
Thank God you mentioned the Decemberists song…I thought I was the only one who finishes ever mention of Valerie Plame with “IF THAT REALLY IS YOUR NAME”